"Purr."

Monster jumped on the bed, making his way under the covers, snuggling up to my face. I laid my arm on him, pressing him in for comfort as the alcohol and emotional rollercoaster I was on worked together to wrestle me to sleep.

Bright and early the next morning, I woke up to the phone ringing through the pillow I had placed over my head to keep the world out.

I hope I didn't leave my phone out there.

I threw the covers off and peeked out into the living room before running over to my purse, still half naked. I pulled my phone out and looked at the caller ID. It was Jay.

"Hello?"

"Hey beautiful, do you wanna go to breakfast?"

I looked at Cooper's door. "Breakfast?"

"You know, eggs, bacon, pancakes."

"How'd you get my number?"

"You're not an undercover CIA agent. You were sort of easy to find."

"What time?" I asked, still looking at Cooper's door, realizing there was nothing I could do right at this moment.

"Thirty minutes?"

"Uh, yeah, I can be ready."

"Okay, I'll pick you up."

"Okay," I said, hanging up the phone.

I sighed and turned to walk back to my room. After throwing on a white sun dress, I tried to cover up the bags under my eyes the best I could, not wanting Jay to notice and ask about them.

I was ready just in time to hear Jay's limo honk from outside. I took one last look in the mirror and headed downstairs. Jay was standing next to his limo with a dozen white roses in hand.

"Hey beautiful," he said, kissing me on the cheek.

"These are perfect. Thank you," I said, smelling the flowers.

"Where are we headed?"

"Pretty close actually. I heard about this great restaurant, and since it's down the street, it gave me the perfect excuse to see you again," he said with a big smile on his face

"I know of a great place and it's right down the street. No waiting, my treat."

"Your treat? I don't remember the last time a woman treated me to anything."

"Well today is your lucky day, sir," I said, tugging him by the arm.

"No. I think yesterday was," he replied with a wink.

I took Jay to a hot dog vendor who had given me the stink eye a few weeks back. I had ordered a hot dog with the works but ended up not having enough money for the works part. He reluctantly gave me the hot dog and let the difference go, but the look he had given me was seared into my brain for all eternity.

Even though he hated me, he had the best hot dogs in the city, and I wanted to show Jay that my side of town wasn't that bad. As we neared the cart, the vendor's smile instantly turned upside down.

"Two hot dogs with the works, please," I said with an awkward smile, hoping he wouldn't remember me.

"Do you have money this time?" he asked sternly.

I nervously laughed, hoping Jay hadn't heard.

"Why would he ask if you had enough money?" Jay whispered.

"Oh, it's a joke between us. He always likes to joke, don't you?" I asked the vendor as I handed him the money in exchange for the hot dogs.

He didn't reply, as he was too busy counting the money I handed him, making sure it was all there. I chuckled nervously, hoping I hadn't shortchanged him. The vendor looked up from the money, and for a split second, I just knew I hadn't given him enough.

He smiled, and said, "Thank you, have a great day."

Whew!

"Wow, these are great," Jay said, taking a second bite.

"Right! Cooper and I love it here," I said, instantly wishing I could stuff the words back in my mouth as they floated out into the air.

"Who's Cooper?" Jay asked as he chewed.

Here we go.

"Oh. Cooper's my friend and my roomma—tologist. I mean he's a rheumatologist at the hospital—he's a coworker—yeah, that's what I mean," I stuttered, trying to explain my lie well enough to be believable.

I realized if I told Jay that Cooper was my roommate, it would lead to the inevitable question—why would you need a roommate if you're a doctor?

While Cooper had a plausible and almost sweet excuse as to why he had a roommate, his reasoning wouldn't work for me, which meant I needed to keep lying to Jay. More lies. Just the thought made me cringe. My mind was already a million miles away, thinking about Cooper and our current situation, and now I had to keep all these lies straight in my head.

Jay's phone rang and he excused himself to answer it.

How was I supposed to fix this? No relationship built on a lie would last, especially one this big.

"Hey, I'm so sorry about that, the office is frantic over this deal we have going on," he explained.

"Oh no, do you need to go?" I asked.

"No. No. I don't want to keep running out on you. I asked you out, and I'm going to keep my word, even if it gives my staff a heart attack. But I guess you can always give them CPR, since you're a doctor, huh?" he asked, nudging me with his elbow.

Wow, he had to go there. It's like he knows and is just waiting for me to tell the truth.

I smiled awkwardly and took another bite of the hot dog to keep from having to lie anymore. "Mmmmmm!"

Before I knew it, we had walked to the park, where all the nannies were out for their midday strolls. There were kid's running back and forth, some crying, and some fighting, but they all looked sweet to me. Seeing as my biological clock had been ringing since I was about twenty-four, I thought they were adorable.

All I remember was waking up one day thinking that I had to have a baby, and like an animal in heat, I eyed any man that crossed my path, automatically sizing them up:

I had come to the conclusion that every eligible bachelor either had kids, didn't want kids or my favorite reason—didn't want kids with me. So in the interest of saving time, I decided to take the risk and ask if he wanted kids—ever.

I knew there were timetables and restrictions as to when certain questions could be asked, but I happened to be on an extra timetable. My relationship with Cooper was hanging on by a thread, and I needed to make a decision, fast.

"Do you want kids someday?" I asked, leaping in feet first.

"Wow, that's a big question!" he exclaimed.

Why is he telling me something that I already know?

"It is. What's your answer?"

He stopped walking. "No, I don't. I don't have time for them, but I guess if I met the right person, then maybe I would change my mind. My life is just not kid friendly right now."

"I see."

"And even if we got together and decided to have a kid, would you give up being a doctor? Because I certainly would never quit my job, and I don't think I particularly believe in nannies."

There is that doctor lie again, rearing its ugly head. There is no way around this unless I just tell him the truth.

"By the way, why aren't you at work? I thought doctor's work for days straight?" he asked.

"Ummm, yeah. I actually work in a little while."

"Well, let me take you somewhere. I promise it'll be fast."

"Okay," I replied as he grabbed my wrist, whisking me to the limo.

"Where did he come from?"

"He has been following us. Never know when I'll need a quick getaway."

"Are you a bank robber?" I chuckled.

"That probably would be more exciting than my job, now that I think about it."

"Mine, too."

"I'm sure being a doctor is exciting."

I shook my head.

A few minutes after jumping into the limo, we pulled up to a skating rink that I used to love to frequent as a little girl. Just the sight of the building alone brought back so many good memories. We grabbed some hot cocoa, and sat in the bleachers, people watching. Although Jay was mostly cell phone watching.

"I love this," I said, watching the families skating, and spending time together.

"Yeah, me too," he said, still staring at his phone.

"But it looks like you're not enjoying yourself. If you need to leave, we can go—it's no problem—really!"

"No, what little time I do have I'd like to spend it with you," he said, putting his phone back into his pocket.

"Only if you're sure."

"I love the fact that you're beautiful, accomplished, and that we complement each other."

"So that's the only reason you like me?" I asked, taking a sip of cocoa as I watched the crowd.

"What do you mean?"

"Because I'm a doctor and we complement each other?"

"No, of course not, but it doesn't hurt to have a doctor at the side of a CEO. We could be a power couple. My partners tend to hire men that are married to women like yourself; accomplished and beautiful."

"Yes, you've said that a couple times. I'm not a prize to be won you know. What if I wasn't a doctor?" I asked.

"But you are a doctor! So why even entertain that line of thinking?" he asked, pulling his phone from his pocket for the umpteenth time.

"Would you still date me if I was—say—a file clerk or a waitress?" I asked a little irritated.

"Why would you even ask that? Why would you want to be a waitress or a file clerk?"

I shook my head. "You don't get it."

"You're a doctor, so there's no reason to be having this conversation. I don't want to fight with you during the little time I have to offer you today," he said with irritation in his tone.

Offer me?

At that moment I felt like I did in high school, insecure, and not good enough for him. All the negative feelings that I tried so hard to forget came flooding back, and the fat girl I tried to melt away in the sauna, sweltering in a plastic running suit, sat down right next to me and screamed in my ear, "I'm back!"

I began to play with the ends of my hair, a nervous tick that I had in high school whenever I was feeling anxious. Cooper never made me feel like that. He always accepted me for who I was, and he always seemed to know my full potential even if I didn't know it yet.

I looked at Jay, disappointed at the direction the conversation had taken, and as I opened my mouth to say something else, he put his finger up to my lips to cut me off. His phone had begun to ring, and he wanted to answer it.

"Hello—okay—yes," he said over the phone.

"Your office?"

"Yes. I'm so sorry; my staff is getting ready to burn it down if I don't head back right now."

"No problem," I said, relieved that we wouldn't have to continue the awkward conversation.

"Did you need a ride? It's no trouble at all," he asked.

"Oh no. Thank you for the offer. I'll walk."

"Okay, but only if you're sure?" he asked, already halfway out of the bleacher section.

"Yeah, I need to walk off the hot dog anyway," I said with a smile, motioning him to leave.

His phone rang again as he ran up the stairs. I shook my head, watching him leave. He wasn't all I had imagined him to be, but that wasn't his fault. How could I ask anyone to live up to my fantasy, when I couldn't even live up to my own.