CHAPTER SIX
Luka
"Another one." Slamming down the drink, Luka pushes another five across the bar table.
The bartender gives him a look. "You sure that's a good idea? There's other ways to deal with your problems, you know. Try a therapist."
"Look, I've only had a couple drinks. Another won't make me a fuckin' alcoholic." Luka closes his eyes, rubbing his temples. He's off his game, especially using profanity so flippantly. It doesn't matter.
But at the same time, it does matter. If he's drinking over this, that means he definitely feels something for Alice. He could lie to himself and say that he's upset about something else, but being dishonest with himself has never been Luka's style. He tells himself the truth and then makes a decision based on that. For example, he has feelings for Alice, strong ones. His decision based on that is to quit the job and leave.
Luka has nothing if he doesn't have his values. He has to stick to that or there's nothing left for him. Being a shifter is hard enough. He and Naomi have always gotten along because they agree on the fundamental idea that humans and shifters are better off not dating. It's overcomplicated. No human could ever understand what it's like to be a shifter and the target that Luka's always had on his back because of it.
Luka shifters and takes a few swigs of the new drink passed over the table to him by the bartender. He already moved all his stuff to a hotel. Naomi said something bad went down and Nathan lost it in the main square, but they haven't been able to meet up. He'll go over to that disabled woman's place to look for him in a few. Naomi doesn't know how to convince him—she's got the bossy older sister syndrome. It might be better if Luka was the one to tell him that they need to leave this town.
Nathan's fallen for the woman, Clara. That's a disaster, too. Naomi was spitting mad about it over the phone.
"This over a woman?" The bartender cleans glasses and looks at him. "You're handsome. I don't reckon she rejected you or cheated."
Luka stares down into his scotch. He needs to stop drinking after this one. Being a shifter means his alcohol tolerance is way higher, but he'll still get really drunk if he doesn't limit himself. He needs to be lucid to go meet up with Naomi or she'll ring him a new one, and frankly Luka doesn't have the fucking energy for that right now.
"No," he responds to the bartender. "No, it's me. I rejected her."
"But you regret it." The man says this more as a statement than a question.
Luka shrugs, standing up and pulling on his jacket. He dumps some cash on the counter as a tip. "Yes and no." Waving, he starts toward the entrance. "Would love to chitchat, but I'm not that in need of an outlet. Thanks for the booze."
Outside, the evening air feels warm. The sky is purple, slowly dropping into night. The smell of the salt and the sea feels more potent right now, like the silence of the town left room for the scent to sneak through.
There's a little dried blood in the courtyard by a tree. It's probably Nathan's—Naomi's too good to let Nathan mark her up much.
Shoving his hands in his pockets, he passes through the area quickly. The breeze tosses his hair as he walks. As he gets close to the edge of the forest, he shifts. Unlike Nathan, he has guardian powers that keep his clothing intact when he returns to human form, so shifting isn't as much of an issue.
Running across the land with his paws beating into the ground, he lets himself just feel. His animal body is powerful, muscles moving all in tandem to throw him across the world faster than any human could hope to run. His breathing feels so much more carnal. Luka gives into it; gives into the shifter feeling that he's always savored; falls into the wild feeling of it.
As he approaches, he slows down and shifts back. Brushing some leaves out of his hair, he starts up the driveway toward Clara's house and walks around the back where he knows the sliding door is broken. He came here before, not long after he slept with Alice. Naomi dragged him here to help convince Nathan, but the man's got his heart set on staying here. If it had been up to Luka, he wouldn't have let him, but Naomi goes soft for him sometimes.
In this case, though . . . maybe he needed the time. After what happened to Nathan's last mate, Mihra, he can't blame Nathan for needing recovery time. What rubs Luka the wrong way is that his recovery time has been spent with a human girl. Whatever. If that's his thing that's his thing.
He makes his way around the sliding glass doors, but he can't see anyone inside the house here. There's some blood on the ground, undoubtedly Nathan's. No sign of Naomi, either.
Carefully, he slides open the door and slips inside. The AC is running softly in the background. Down the hall, Luka can hear water running and quiet voices. He knows this isn't the right time, but curiosity drives him forward anyway.
He follows the trail of bloody footprints to the bathroom. Quietly, he hovers by the slightly cracked door and eavesdrops.
"How's the temperature?" A female voice. It's the disabled girl, undoubtedly.
"You don't need to do this." This time, Nathan's voice. He sounds strained and guilty and in pain. His voice drops to something quieter, digging into Luka's heart. "You're being too kind to me."
Luka peeks around the door, glad none of them are looking in his direction. Nathan's in the bath, covered in lacerations. It's always been like that. Nathan's got a genetic condition unique to shifters; whenever he shifts, it's painful and slashes up his body. Not only that, but he can't control himself very well in bear form. He might as well just be a wild bear sometimes.
Looking at him, Luka can't help but feel bad. That's a pain, and an experience, he could never understand.
"I said," Clara says, something gentle and caring in her voice that makes Luka uncomfortable. He's not sure why it makes him uncomfortable. "how's the temperature?"
"It's fine. Sorry."
A blush tints Nathan's face. He winces as Clara cleans off his body and rinses the dirt out of his wounds. She leans in and kisses his forehead. The smile that Nathan makes, however, makes Luka shiver.
Mihra was the last one who made Nathan smile like that. He watches them for just a few more seconds, but the longer he watches the guiltier he feels. What was he looking for? Incriminating evidence? Something to show, without a doubt, that Clara and Nathan can't stay together? If that's what he was looking for, he didn't find it.
He leaves, quietly creeping back to the door and going outside. Alone with his thoughts, he deftly hops over the deck and onto the hilly terrain below. Out of eyesight of the windows, he sits down and leans against one of the deck poles. He doesn't know how to feel, so he just stares out over the sea as the sun disappears far past the horizon and leaves the sky a gradient of indigo and black.
He can see the stars from here. He wonders if there's anything charted in them that would give him an answer, any possible way to solve his problems simply. He knows there isn’t one—there’s only changing himself or staying the same. It felt clear an hour ago, but now? He’s not sure.
Crunching of feet on pine needles draws his attention, and he looks up. Raine is crossing the grass toward him, a loose tank top hanging off of her body. She's got just a sports bra underneath. Waving with one pinky at Luka, she plops down beside him.
"Hey," she greets cheerfully.
"Hey." Luka stares down at his bent legs, breathing out slowly and making sure to keep his expression blank. If she sees any hint of malice or malcontent, she'll jump on it in a second. He knows she thinks he's just a bastard who uses people. Maybe he is just a bastard who uses people.
"You look like you've got an especially large stick up your ass today," Raine comments, tone still sunny.
He looks up, raising an eyebrow. "Maybe I do. What's got you thrilled right now?"
"The idea of going home," she admits. "Nao says she's gonna erase the investigator's memory and Clara's, along with the memory of cops. It's easier than trying to get them to take our side in the investigation."
"Yeah," he says. "She told me as much over the phone."
"Yeah," Raine repeats. "Nathan's gonna complain the whole way back, I bet. He's gotten real attached to that human bitch, huh?"
She laughs, pulling a cigarette out of her pocket and lighting it. Irritation starts to bubble up through Luka's body, taking hold of his mind. He clenches his fist as Raine continues. "I saw you go inside. Gross, huh? A few days ago I saw them cuddling through the window."
Luka snaps. Snatching Raine's cigarette from her hand, he puts it out against a rock and shoves it back into her hand. "Don't light that shit around me. You reek of smoke."
Confusion and anger erupt across Raine's expression. "What the hell did I do—"
"What would you know about healthy relationships? What would you know?" Luka's so upset he's practically spitting. "During our relationship you did nothing but shove me down to fit your own agenda. That's not love."
Raine snorts. "Since when has love ever mattered to you? You only care about keeping shifters with shifters and humans with humans."
It takes a second for Luka to decide his answer to that. "Maybe I . . . " He furrows his eyebrows, his heart thudding slowly in his chest, drawing him closer and closer to some sort of epiphany. "Maybe it means something to me now." He breathes out. "I saw them, yeah. I don't know what you're seeing that's gross, but if you're so obsessed with hating the affection of others that you stalk them to judge them cuddling, I don't want anything to do with you."
He stands up, dusting the dirt off of his ass. Raine doesn't take long following, anger during her expression dark and brooding. "You're a son of a bitch, you know that? You couldn't care about anything other than yourself if you tried. You've never loved anyone."
Realization makes Luka calm. He closes his eyes for a moment before opening them again. "You might be right, but if you're accusing me of that you need to accuse yourself of that, as well."
He turns to her and smiles bitterly. "Nathan really loves that woman. You can see it. I've never seen him smile like that. The fact that you have the gall to hate him for that, to hate him after what happened to Mihra-"
"Mihra killed herself," Raine says plainly, dropping the bomb that Luka and Naomi and Nathan and all of them have been avoiding like the plague. "Don't avoid it. She killed herself because true love is bullshit and Nathan wasn't doing a good enough job."
Luka shakes his head and speaks firmly. "No. Mihra killed herself because she had depression and didn't make it through. How dare you reduce that kind of tragedy to fit your own bitter agenda. How dare you try to blame Nathan for his own love."
He feels choked up, but Raine will tear him to bits if he cries. He swallows it down. "You're heartless. I don't care if we're both bear shifters and it makes sense. I have no interest in pretending to love someone like you."
Raine just grits her teeth in anger as Luka backs up and shakes his head. "Besides, you aren't right that I've never cared about anyone other than yourself. There's someone I care about, and I've just been ignoring that because of my own twisted morality.” Letting his own values go in one foul swoop, he looks toward the moon as it shines in the sky like some sort of beacon, guiding him toward somewhere better. "I don't know if she'll accept me, but I'd rather be rejected while trying to love someone in a genuine way than live a miserable lie with a shifter like you."
He doesn't even have to leave first. Face beet red, Raine backs up and runs back toward the road. If anything, that's the most respectful thing she's done this whole time. He was expecting her to bite his head off entirely.
He sits down by the deck, still waiting for Naomi. What'll he tell her? He has to reevaluate his whole situation, now. Luka knows he has to go back to Alice and grovel, but the idea of doing that is daunting. For once, he feels like the anxious one instead of her. Leaning back against the pole, he stares out at the sky. Luka doesn't even realize he's asleep until it happens.
He wakes up a few hours later to the sound of yelling and cursing. Jolting upright, he looks around. He stands up and takes in his surroundings. There's a jacket lying across a bench on the patio. It's not Raine's, and it wasn't there before. Looking down the hill at the beach, though, he starts to get a grasp.
Naomi's down on the sand, fighting with the paranormal investigator, Liam. Hell. He knew this would result in something bad. After his epiphany, he feels bad about chastising Naomi over her clear interest in Liam. He doubts he could convince her now, though. Naomi's stubborn just to be stubborn. If he says anything about it she'll just do everything to oppose him. She always wants to be right.
Naomi flips Liam on his back and lands a punch square in the face. I need to stop this. Cursing under his breath. Liam runs down the hill, hopping over bushes and twigs. Once he gets to the edge of the forest, he tries to figure out what to do. Naomi's too focused right now to catch his scent, but that won't last forever. He doesn't want to throw himself directly into the fight. The goal is to end it, not to keep it going.
Deciding what to do, he runs up toward the two. Before Naomi can register what's happening, he socks her in the stomach, hard. The dark-haired woman collapses into his arms, unconscious. He can smell blood on her. Her entire body is grimy, covered in dirt and sand.
Liam stands there with a stick held in front of him in self-defense, looking deeply confused. Luka rolls his eyes. "Relax. I'm not coming after you."
He drops the stick scratches his forehead. He's pretty banged up, too, but Luka's charity only goes so far—the investigator will have to deal with that. Luka speaks up again. "Look, I don't know what happened here, but you must've really fucked up to get Naomi to attack you like that. You and I both know how she feels about you."
Liam looks apologetic. "It was a misunderstanding. She thought I was here to go after Nathan."
"Were you?" His tone is frank and neutral.
"At first," Liam admits, sighing into his hands before dropping them to the side. "But I . . . didn't have the heart. I saw them through the bedroom windows . . . It just seemed wrong."
That hits home. Luka can't even fault him for that—he did the same thing. He stares Liam down. "Nathan isn't a murderer. I can tell you that much with absolute certainty."
He stops and sighs. Before Liam can speak again, though, he continues. "Listen, Liam. I don't know what you and Naomi are playing at here, but I can tell you this: my perspective has changed regarding human-shifter relationships, so I won't say not to try. I can say, though, that if you get another chance, it's gonna be your last. Her patience won't last forever, but she can be convinced."
Liam nods. "Thank you."
Snorting, Luka rolls his eyes and turns toward Alice's house. He doesn't want to go to a hospital or the police with her injuries—they're not serious enough, and he doesn't want to answer questions that'll just incriminate the shifter clan more. His hotel room, however, does not have correct first aid supplies.
Running down the beach without looking back at Liam, he keeps Naomi slung over one shoulder. In this instance, he's tremendously grateful for the increased strength he has a result of being a shifter.
Once he gets to Alice's house, he slows down. Seeing that Craig's car is missing from the driveway and there are lights on inside, he walks up the pavement. It's only been fifteen hours or so since he quit. Frankly, he feels silly and stupid coming back here so soon. Ideally, he'd have given it a few days, but he needs her help now.
Carrying Naomi up to the front door, he rings the doorbell. After a few moments, he sees a nervous-looking Alice descend the steps from her office. She sees Luka and a flash of anger crosses her expression. When she sees a bloodied Naomi in her arms, though, that anger turns to shock.
Rushing to the door, she throws it open and lets Luka in. "What happened?!"
"She got into a fight," Luka explains somewhat bitterly. "Things are complicated. She's in love with that investigator I told you about. They had a very physical quarrel."
"Th-that's sure a fight," Alice says, laughing extremely awkwardly. She helps Luka carry her upstairs to the big bathroom and throws open the cabinets to get first aid supplies.
While sanitizing her scrapes and cuts (which Luka thinks are probably more from rolling on the ground than the fight itself), she looks up at him. She doesn't say anything just yet, but when they move Naomi to the couch downstairs, she finally speaks up.
"Why did you come here, Luka? It hasn't even been a day since . . . "
"There weren't many other options. I didn't want to carry an unconscious body into town," he says tiredly.
Alice bites her lip, looking down and brushing a remaining piece of dirt off of Naomi's shoulder. "Is that . . . th-the only reason you came here?"
His hand brushes hers, and he holds it in his hand. "No." He says this firmly, so as not to leave any room for doubt. "It's not."
A flush tints Alice's cheeks. She looks nervous and skeptical, and retracts her hand. "Wh-what made you change your mind? You s-seemed perfectly firm a-and decided this morning."
That's a question that's harder to answer. He closes his eyes and thinks, breathing quietly. "I had an epiphany after seeing Nathan and Clara together."
"That sounds dubious." When he opens his eyes, Alice is smiling at him tiredly. "Almost like a movie plot."
"I suppose I'm a bit flighty," Luka laughs quietly, narrowing his eyes and grabbing her hand again. He kisses her knuckles. "If you're willing to forgive that with the promise that I'll give you my everything, I'd love nothing more than to get you away from that bastard fiancé."
Alice looks conflicted. She pulls her hand back reluctantly. "Craig is a good man."
"I'm sure," Luka says, letting only a little bit of vitriol seep into his tone. "A good man who leaves you when he can't handle who you are and returns when he's broke. He knows you have money. Don't pretend otherwise."
Alice raises an eyebrow, smiling again in a conflicted way. He can't help but feel sucked into her amusement, pulled into orbit around her. "How do I know you're not using me for my money?"
"Do I look like the sort of person who needs or wants money?" he asks honestly, smiling with his eyes.
Blushing again, Alice looks embarrassed. "I suppose not."
Taking her hands in his own, Luka pulls close to her and looks down. "We don't know each other as well as I'd like, and that's my fault. But if you're willing to accept a shifter like me who's still learning and changing, it would make me the happiest man possible." He pauses, leaning his forehead into hers. "We can take things one step at a time."
Alice opens her mouth as if unsure what to say. She bites her lip, stuttering a little. Before she can speak, though, she's blatantly interrupted.
"What the hell?"
An arm grabs Luka and yanks him away. Turning to the right, he looks at an extremely angry Naomi. Her hair is falling out of the sides of her ponytail, making her look messier than he's used to seeing. All of this adds to the feeling of stress that builds as she glares at him. "Nao—"
"Don't 'Nao' me. 'Don't fall for him, Naomi. You know humans and shifters can't work.' What a hypocrite." Letting go of his arm, she shoves him and gets up from the couch. Looking Alice up and down, she sneers. "It was her all along. Raine didn't trust her. I should have listened to her. You gave up a good shifter girlfriend for this?" Alice flinches, making Naomi laugh bitterly. "Look, she shakes when I even speak. You want a coward human for a girlfriend? Did you even erase her memory like you told me you would?"
Shit. Luka doesn't know how to answer that one. He's in deep now, with no way out. He's always felt scripted, but ever since he started interacting with Alice, it feels like he doesn't know his lines. "I-I didn't—"
"Why the hell not?" Naomi snaps, face red with anger. She grabs Alice's wrist and yanks it, pulling the blond woman toward her. "I'll do it right now."
Luka shoves between them, throwing Naomi back into the couch. The force of it shoves the couch back a few inches, creaking against the floor. Alice dances back into the kitchen, clutching her arm close. "Are you alright?" Luka calls out. "Did she break your wrist?"
Shaking her head, Alice stutters. "N-no, I'm OK."
Naomi stands up again, glaring at Luka so hard he swears he can feel her searing gaze. "Why? Why didn't you do it?"
"I couldn't," he explains. "My powers wouldn't work. It was like it was jammed or something. I tried and tried but it wouldn't work."
"Your heart wasn't in it then." He's never seen Naomi look this bitter. "I thought you and I were on the same ground, but you've always been two steps behind. You never really had any values, did you?"
Alice speaks, breaking up the tense silence. "I th-thought you . . . didn't want t-to erase my memory."
Turning around to look at her, Luka feels his heart sink into his chest like a stone in water. Something about her tone gives him a cold, painful feeling that he knows what's coming. He tries to beg. "Alice, it's not—"
"No," she shakes her head. "No, you lied. You lied j-just like everyone lies t-to get close to me." Eyes going watery, she bites her lip and holds her arms to her chest. "Naomi's right. You're a h-h-hypocrite of epic p-proportions."
Pain wracks Luka's system. "Alice. Alice, just listen, I changed—"
"I'm not an idiot," she spits, angry tears starting to pour. "Get out. Both of you, get out. I don't want to deal with this."
Laughing, Naomi moves toward the door. "Funny." She leaves, and Luka can hear her hopping down the steps.
Once she's out of earshot, Luka speaks again. "OK. I'll leave."
"Do it then." Alice gestures her head toward the door.
He holds his hands up. "OK. Just know that . . . that if you change your mind, if Craig isn't enough, you have my number. Until I leave, I'll . . . " He closes his eyes for a moment to hold back tears before opening them again. "I'll be on the beach past your house, where the National Park is."
Alice isn't making eye contact anymore. She doesn't respond, just stands there. Luka wants to say more. He wants to embrace her. He wants to tell her she is loved, that she's worth more than Craig can give her, that any man can give her, but it would all fall on deaf ears.
Instead, he just leaves. Quietly opening the door, he lets himself out and steps down toward the road again. At the bottom of Alice's driveway, Naomi is waiting for him. She looks to him and raises her eyebrows. "And the failed hero returns back with no prize?"
"Shut up," he snaps. "That was your fault."
"No, Luka Oxendine, hun," she says, a bitter smile on her face as she walks away. "It's yours." She waves with her back turned to him. "If you had ever really wanted to erase her memory, you would have. It doesn't work if there's no passion. The heart knows what it wants—even I understand that."