Chapter 09

I need a damn counterpart.

***Afon***

 

 “What the fuck happened, Tarzan?” I snap my words out for the second time today at my boss.

I’m holding Andy in my arms, sitting on the kitchen floor. Tarzan looks over at the door where Ruby and Karma are standing. Their men standing behind them because they took off with me when I heard Tarzan scream my name.

“Would you mind giving us some privacy? We’ll be right out,” Tarzan commands. Yeah, it’s a question but make no mistake…there’s no room for arguments when she voices them like that.

Tarzan squats down next to me as she brushes some of my woman’s curls from her closed eyes. “It’s bad, Afon. Shit doesn’t even compare to what I went through.”

I suck in a breath and fucking brace myself. I know damn well her brother told me some of the shit what went down but even he wouldn’t let me know all the details. Either she never told him, or no one really knows what went down except for her and the fuckers who did it to her, but they aren’t walking the earth anymore. Ricca assured me he killed them all.

“She has issues with the arranged marriage. The traditional one you’re demanding. She mentioned something about a wooden stake that took her virginity, that she couldn’t give you the blood on the sheet tradition…but Afon…I made a poor joke.” Tarzan’s eyes fill up, shit. That hard woman rarely sheds a tear.

“Spit it the fuck out, Tarzan. What the fuck did you say?” I ask in a cold voice, making her eyes snap to mine.

“I told her that her brother might have had her back all these years but that kind of bond only goes so far. And that you could give it all to her…unless she had her pussy stitched up, blocking your dick from sliding home.” Tarzan shakes her head. “She turned as white as a sheet, Afon. Fuck. I think…I think...fucking hell.”

“Don’t say it,” I croak.

I can’t fucking bear the thought. Rising to my feet, I take Andy’s body along with me. Turning to face my boss I tell her, “Postpone the wedding. We’ll have an engagement party on that day instead. I’ll talk to Andy and we’ll set a new date together. Get everyone out of my fucking house and make sure either Vinci or Jakov handles outside security. Ricca just got word that Marco found two soldiers, who the syndicate cast out, and they are now working with him. Ricca also mentioned he had something going on himself so tightening security would be wise. Andy provoked Marco when she went after him. He was building his own fucking gang but she put a stop to it with killing them all except for Marco. Now he really doesn’t have anything to lose. Just get it done.”

I don’t wait for her answer but head for my bedroom. I don’t fucking care that I had a meeting, nor do I care that I just gave my boss orders instead of the other way around. All that matters now is Andy.

Gently I place her on my bed and step back. Toeing off my shoes, I settle down next to her and pull her into my lap. Fuck. She’s going to hate the fact that she had another panic attack. Weakness. In front of her friend. My boss. Standing in the kitchen one moment, waking up here with me the next. And fuck if I’m not a part of the cause. Not in the worst way, but fuck…stunning dark eyes connect with mine.

“Hey, anima mia.” I gently slide my thumb up and down her cheek. “You okay?”

Her eyes close for another moment before she opens them and sighs. “I have a headache.”

“Figures. Breathing the wrong way and with that spiking a chemical reaction inside your body with those panic attacks of yours, it’s like releasing poison in your veins. And when those damn panic attacks are over they’ve drained everything right the fuck out of you.” Our gaze is still connected and I can’t help myself when I bend down and connect our lips for a blinking instant.

I place my forehead against hers because she needs to know. “The traditional Italian wedding I wanted was for you…to do right by you. I didn’t think about the showing of the sheets, fuck that, it’s you…I wanted to give you a special day to remember for the both of us. Since I’m Russian…fuck. I postponed it, okay? The date of the wedding will be our engagement party instead. You pick a damn date, but we’re still getting married.”

The corner of her mouth twitches. “Quite the romantic there, Afon. Not at all negotiable, all demands but still leave a hint for me to decide?”

“Something like that,” I croak as I can’t seem to pull my gaze away from her mouth.

It’s sick and twisted because I imagine sliding my dick along her bottom lip, spreading my precum while her tiny pink tongue peeks out, tasting me before I sink into her hot mouth. Throwing my hips forward while I’ve got a tight grip on her head. My fingers buried deep into her black curls to keep her in place while I pump vigorously to find my release, jetting out cum so it flows down her throat.

Andy shifts on my lap and dammit, that’s probably due to my granite dick that’s uncomfortable as fuck between the two of us. “I’m okay now. It happened again, I couldn’t…” She searches my eyes. “I don’t know…get mad soon enough? I couldn’t push the uprising feeling away, whatever.”

“It was a trigger. Tarzan made a damn joke but instead it triggered something from your past,” I tell her and she suddenly scrambles from my lap.

“Maybe. But it’s gone now. I’ll go back downstairs, you had a meeting, right?” She fucking fidgets with her fingers. She notices me watching and she throws her hands behind her back. “I’m fine. Go. Do whatever you always do.”

“No. I sent everyone home. You and I need to talk about a few things.”

“We’re not talking. You’re demanding while I, the pathetic housewife-to-be, freaks out every damn time. Such a contradiction, huh? Still no regrets, Afon? I’m not the strong fighting woman I was when you met me,” she sneers.

Jumping to my feet, I get so close into her personal space that she instinctively takes a step back. “I saw you in your element a few days ago, sweet cheeks. You’re the same person you’ve always been. Don’t ever fucking doubt it.”

“I’m doubting, okay? Wouldn’t you? I mean look at me. Open your freaking eyes. I’ve crashed to the ground more than once, can’t even handle a conversation with my friend over freaking coffee.” Her hands wave around to give her words strength.

She’s pissed right now and I could use it to try something. “It wasn’t the conversation you couldn’t handle. It was the stitched up pussy joke.”

Stone. Like a damn statue.

“I’ve felt that pussy. My fingers felt the wetness it produced for me. You might have frozen up like you’re doing right now but you’re not full force panicking with me. When you’re ready I would like to hear all the details of what you’ve gone through in life. I want to know you, Andy. I can’t bear thinking the worst, knowing you’re the only one carrying it with you on your shoulders. This,” I wave my hand between the both of us, “I want it fucking all. I’m a self-made man, one who doesn’t need a wife for show. I can’t fucking marry just any woman because I need a damn counterpart. A stunner who can let her guard down but then turn around and be a fucking warrior. That’s you, Andy. That’s you.”

I’m not expecting her action, so I’m being thrown back on the bed with her weight on top of me, arms locked tight around me.

“But you’re gonna be disgusted if I told you everything. It’s broken or at least I thought so but then you…you made me burn…there.” She shuts up and fuck, I don’t have a damn clue what she just rambled about.

“I’ve cut people up slowly because we needed to delay their death, Andy. They’ve pissed and shit themselves while I was doing it. Puke mixed with blood as I shoved their fingers down their fucking throat. There’s very little that disgusts me, sweet cheeks.” I’ve got one arm firmly wrapped around her while I stroke her sea of black curls. “And I’ve seen and felt you, all of you. So out with it.”

She’s got her head buried against my chest as she starts to talk. “My best friend asked if she could host my sweet sixteen party. Since she turned sixteen just a few days before me, we could do it together at her house. My parents allowed it, so my friend’s parents made all the arrangements. Turns out, it was all a setup, it was a well-planned hostile takeover and my father never saw it coming. Although they did not expect my brother to stay home. Nor that I had just gotten a phone for my birthday, so I was able to warn Ricca when they killed my father the second he got out of the car. I was so scared but I was flat on the floor in the backseat. My mother had closed the door because she already had the door open to help me out with my dress before she shoved me back when she heard the gunshot. I managed to tell Ricca that it was a setup, that dad was dead before they shot my mother and dragged me out of the car. Giordano grabbed my ankle and dragged me out. I was still holding the phone in my hand, holding it up. I think that’s what saved me that day. If I hadn’t…he…he was already aiming the gun in my face. I screamed for Ricca to kill every single last Giordano. The phone was ripped out of my hands and I was dragged inside.” She shivers in my grip. “The gravel…some was embedded in my back. But that wasn’t the worst of it.”

I’m afraid to fucking breathe. A part of me doesn’t want to know what happened next and yet I don’t think I could ever live without not knowing. My fingers keep stroking her hair in comfort and it takes all of my strength to do so because rage is burning through my veins.