TWENTY

From the patio of Mark’s villa, Jack could catch the occasional shout and laugh from the party below, captured on the soft ocean breeze and buffeted across his tense frame. It was his party; their party. Their employees were enjoying their final night on the island, the celebration in full swing with live music, champagne, and the illusive fresh-caught lobster the hotel had promised days ago.

He and Mark were supposed to be with them. Toasting, laughing, applauding their employees – and themselves – on a banner year. And an even better one to come. Except, instead of slapping backs and clinking glasses, Jack was willing his lungs to keep breathing. His brain to keep from panicking.

In one hour the board would meet and Mark and Jack would know whether or not they’d lost everything they had spent the last fifteen years building. That’s what had Jack so on edge. At least that’s what he kept telling himself.

But, staring at the reflection of the night sky rippling lazily across the surface of the villa’s pool, Jack knew something else was to blame. No matter how hard he tried, Jack couldn’t get Sadie’s voice out of his head, her words ‘this is a huge mistake’ running on a damned, never-ending loop.

“You can call her, you know.”

Jack glanced over as Mark came to stand next to him, but avoided making eye contact.

“Janine? Don’t think there is any point now.”

“Not Janine.” When Jack remained silent, Mark chuckled. “Sadie. You can call Sadie.”

“No need. She doesn’t expect us down there. I told her this morning we’d be tied up all day.”

“This morning…. When this morning, might I ask?”

Jack grimaced. It wasn’t a slip. Not really. He could easily have called Sadie before arriving at Mark’s villa. But, despite everything else going on, Jack knew his friend wasn’t stupid. Or blind. He did want to call Sadie. Badly. And he guessed that someone as observant as Mark could probably see how keyed up he was. And why.

“Before I got here.”

“Obviously. Can I ask when?”

“I’d rather you didn’t.”

“Ah.”

That tiny syllable said it all. From the corner of his eye, Jack saw Mark run a glance over him, no doubt catching how his hands were curled into tense fists. Jack released a deep breath and relaxed. Slightly.

“It isn’t like that,” he muttered to his friend.

“I didn’t say a word.”

“You did actually. Exactly one. But it doesn’t matter. I’m well aware of my reputation. Especially as it’s one we share.”

Mark released a bark of laugher. “Speak for yourself, Jack. I gave up my man-whoring ways years ago. It wasn’t helping my CEO cred.”

Jack cocked a brow in disbelief and Mark covered his grin with a hand. “Okay, fine,” he conceded. “I just go about it more discreetly than I used to.”

“Precisely,” the wry grin fell from Jack’s face. “This. It isn’t the same.”

“As what?”

“As any of it,” Jack sighed. “It’s different from anything I’ve ever felt.”

“Even with…”

Jack cut him off before Mark could finish, “Yes. Especially then. No comparison.”

“Wow.”

“Yup.”

The two men fell silent. Below them, lanterns flickered as waiters threaded through the party crowd tipsy on expensive cocktails and high expectations.

“If we manage to salvage this, if,” Jack took a deep breath, “if the vote goes our way, do you want everything to go back to the way it was?”

Mark turned to look at Jack head on, studying his profile. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, we’ll have to go through some restructuring. Max will be out. Which means shares will have to be redistributed. And at least one new board member brought on. If not more. Which provides us with the perfect opportunity to make some other changes. If we want to.”

Jack didn’t need to face his friend to know that Mark’s eyes were narrowed in consideration. “Honestly, I haven’t given it much thought. For the past several days my focus has been entirely on surviving this shit storm. Not what to do after it.”

 “Well, looks like we’re in the eye of it now. So it’s as good a time as ever. To figure out what we’re going to do.”

“Assuming that,” Mark glanced down at his watch, “in forty minutes we still have any say in the matter.”

“Yeah. Assuming that.”

“Jack, do you want it to go back to the way it was? Because, call me crazy, but that’s not the vibe I’m picking up.”

Jack remained silent, his brain jumping haphazardly between what had been and what could be. When he thought about going back to San Francisco, to his empty apartment 3,000 miles from Sadie, to the relationship between his company and Sadie’s that was crashing around between them like a two-ton elephant, Jack could feel his stomach churn and his palms begin to sweat. But that panic began to drift away when he considered how different his life could be if he was with the one person who had brought him his first real moment of peace in years. Hell, probably in his entire adult life.

With that possibility lifting a weight off his chest, Jack turned to meet the serious gaze of his best friend.

“I don’t think so. No, I don’t… Shit,” Jack ran his hands across his face. “Mark, I don’t want to go back to the way it’s been. I didn’t realize it. Until now.”

Jack thought Mark muttered something under his breath but after glancing away quickly, his friend gave him an appraising look. “I think you may have known. Before now.”

“What? I don’t….”

“Stop. Seriously. We’ve been friends since we were shot-gunning beers at frat parties and trying to see who could get into Darcy Winter’s pants first.”

“God, we were such shits.”

“Yeah,” Mark released on a deep chuckle, “we really were. But, I’d like to think that we’ve grown up a lot since then. Come to know a bit more about ourselves. And each other. Not,” Mark caught Jack’s incredulous look, “that we’ve suddenly become choir boys. As I think we’ve already established. But that we’re finally aware that life doesn’t just boil down to our work, a pretty face, and an easy lay. That maybe something, or someone, might make this all,” he gestured to the world around them, “more enjoyable. More worthwhile.”

Jack shook his head at Mark’s assessment, but didn’t hold back his grin.

“Don’t let your mother hear you talking like that. She’s going to think that grandbabies are in her future after all.”

“By the looks of things, Jack, I’m not the one you should be worried about.”

That brought Jack up short. “Whoa,” he waved his hands, trying to fend off Mark’s insinuation.

“Huh-uh. Don’t even try it. You are not going to stand there and, after all that you’ve tried so hard not to tell me with your cryptic comments and long pauses, pretend that you don’t want something different. With her. With Sadie.”

“Fuuuuck,” Jack released a heavy breath as his chin dropped to his chest. When he looked back up Mark was leveling a particularly self-satisfied grin at him.

“Exactly.” Mark gave him a firm slap on the back. “Glad we’re on the same page.”

“And what page is that? As far as I can tell you just skipped over the whole part where I said that I don’t want to keep my job at our firm and went straight for the assumption that I suddenly want to settle down. With Sadie Carter.”

“Don’t you?”

Jack opened and closed his mouth but no sound came out. He wasn’t sure which astonished him more: that Mark didn’t seem even remotely pissed that he was more or less saying he wanted out of D&A International, or that his friend had, in the matter of minutes, clarified the situation with Sadie that had been tickling the back of his mind for months. Maybe even years.

“Jesus, Mark.” He couldn’t get his mouth to form the words, but Jack knew the answer was stamped clearly across his face. Feeling an unsettling rush of excitement and guilt all at once, Jack scanned his friend’s expression to figure out how Mark was handling this sudden development. If it was anything like how he was feeling, they would both need a stiff drink. And probably before the board call began.

Mark’s jaw was relaxed, his expression neutral. But Jack didn’t miss the disappointment banked in his eyes. “We don’t have to get into the details of it right now. Hell,” Mark swore, “most of this conversation could be moot in a matter of minutes anyway. So let’s save the stress about your potential career suicide for after the vote.”

Jack tried to smile at his friend, but knew the gesture came across as a sad imitation. “You aren’t going to pull any punches on this, are you?”

“You bet your balls I’m not.”

“Ha,” Jack laughed. “Glad to know that some things won’t change.”

“I’m going to do my best. Even if you are damned determined to do otherwise.”

Jack did grin at that, but sobered before continuing. “Thanks, Mark. For…,” he gestured lightly, unable to find the words to express his gratitude for his friend’s insight and understanding.

Mark wrapped a hand around Jack’s shoulder, his eyes glinting mischievously. “I’m happy for you, Jack. Really. If we get through these next few minutes with our jobs intact, I’ll be more than happy to sit down and figure out how you can repay me for all this unprecedented goodwill. Most likely in the form of large sums of money. But,” Mark’s grin fell, “you still have to tell Sadie. She’s going to find out, one way or the other. And if she finds out from anyone other than you, this entire conversation, hell, every feeling you’ve ever had for the woman, could turn out to be completely pointless.”

Jack shook himself out from under Mark’s grip, but didn’t drop his friend’s gaze. “I know, Mark. I know. Let’s just survive this call and then I’ll figure out a way to get through everything else.”

“Deal. Oh, and you owe me a really fucking large drink.”

“Done.”

Retreating to their makeshift office inside the villa, Jack wondered for the first time if, in the end, he was going to have to thank Maxwell Hurst for blowing up his life. And, consequently and very unintentionally, giving him a chance to completely rebuild it.