Sadie pretended for exactly twenty-seven minutes and thirteen seconds that Jack’s phone number wasn’t burning a hole in the bottom of her purse.

By minute thirty-nine she’d decided to shove it into her desk drawer.

And by minute seventy-four, she’d conceded that, to be safe, she’d program it into her phone before tucking the paper into her wallet. Just in case her phone was stolen. Or lost. Or she took it into the bathtub with her when she could no longer live with the indecision twisting through her.

Thankfully for all parties involved, Sadie decided against avoidance by electrocution and, twenty-three days after seeing Mark, dialed Jack’s number.

The conversation was awkward. And incredibly slow. They managed to get through the “hello’s” and “how are you’s” without too much difficulty. But everything came to an abrupt halt after that. The silence between them crackled with unvoiced apologies and undeniable longing. And Sadie realized that meeting in person, however painful, would be far less excruciating than envisioning Jack neck deep in whisky and strange women at the hotel bar.

So, almost exactly two months after she’d left him behind in Nevis, Sadie sat on a bench in a Capitol Hill park, fingers clenched and eyes peeled for the arrival of Jack Avery.

***

Jack saw Sadie the second he stepped foot in the park. It was early on a spring Saturday. Despite the pink blossoms fluttering on some of the trees, the air still held the bite of winter and the occupants of the park were limited to some committed runners and dog owners, their charges racing in wild circles on the still-brown grass. Amongst the early morning movement, Sadie’s still, silent form called out to Jack from a half block away.

For the first few seconds, he held his breath. Just seeing her, that’s all it took. The misery and self-recrimination and guilt dimmed briefly when Jack laid eyes on her dark hair and calm face. Just long enough so that when his brain kicked in and reminded him to inhale, his lungs expanded with ease and Jack took his first real breath since she’d left him on the island.

In a matter of seconds, Jack was standing in front of her, looking down at the woman he hadn’t been sure he’d ever see again.

“Hi,” he managed to say, despite his mouth suddenly going dry.

Sadie was silent for a moment and Jack wondered if she’d changed her mind, if she didn’t want to talk to him after all. But then she smiled. Wide and bright. Fuck his lungs, Jack felt like his heart had started to beat for the first time in two months.   

“You actually did it,” Sadie grinned.

“What?” Jack was staring down at her in confusion.

“You said hi. I mean, you still kind of startled me. But at least you’re learning, right?”

“Only because you’re teaching me, Sadie.” Jack meant it as a joke but his voice was low, rough from lack of use during his self-imposed exile, and the air between them was suddenly thick with memory of the last time they’d had a similar conversation. Before Sadie had stripped down and Jack had taken her in the pool. Which seemed like a lifetime ago.

Sadie glanced away, watching a chocolate lab tear across the park to retrieve a ball. When she looked back at him all of the humor and emotion of the past few seconds were gone. Instead, Jack just saw hesitant acceptance.

“Sit,” she patted the spot next to her. Jack lowered himself to the bench, careful not to brush his knees against hers. “Thanks for coming.”

“Thanks for calling.”

“Sure. Though you should really thank Mark.”

“Mark?”

“Yeah, for giving me your number. He guessed, correctly, that I’d deleted your personal cell number. So, really, you should be thanking him.”

“Ah. Okay.”

Sadie glanced at him. “He didn’t tell you, did he? That we met.”

Jack shook his head, a rueful smile on his lips. “Uh, no. He didn’t say a word. Though I can’t say I’m surprised. He doesn’t like to sit around when there are problems to be solved.”

“So he sees you as a problem.”

“Oh, definitely.”

“Funny, I do too.”

Jack’s heart constricted. Of all of the things he wanted Sadie to consider him, a problem definitely wasn’t one of them. Though he supposed that, after all that had happened, he was lucky that she was considering him at all.

“How do you mean?”

“Well…,” Sadie sighed, her eyes never leaving the lab as it ran laps around the park. “How about this. We make a trade. You tell me exactly what happened with your marriage to Christina. And I’ll tell you why I think of you as a problem. Deal?”

Jack scanned Sadie’s expression, hoping to catch some hint of where this conversation was going. But, her face blank, her head angled away from him, Jack was left to haul in a breath and begin.

“Christina and I met at a party. D&A International had been up and running for a few years, but we’d just had our first really successful launch. We were finally making waves, building our name in the industry. And Mark and I were enjoying ourselves. Thoroughly. The money, the women, the lifestyle.” Jack closed his eyes briefly, thinking back on what idiots they’d been. “I told you once, Sadie, that I’m not a saint. I liked women, and women liked me. And I didn’t let much get in the way of our mutual appreciation.” Jack watched Sadie’s mouth tighten as he spoke, but she otherwise stayed still.

“That all changed when I met Christina. She was beautiful, yes. But she was also different. Challenging. Intelligent. She didn’t put up with my shit, but she could also dole it out when she needed to. Being with her, well,” Jack hauled in a painful breath, “she forced me to grow up. I’d always been responsible when it came to the company, but I learned how to be responsible with the rest of my life as well. Parties, wild nights, extravagant purchases: I learned how to temper all that behavior with Christina. How to, for the first time ever, really, be an adult. And for that, I’ll always be grateful.

“But,” Jack swiped a hand across his face, trying to push back some of the more painful memories, “I always assumed that Christina helped me out of love. That she wanted to see me become the best version of myself. And I, in turn, wanted to give her everything she desired. I supported her career, making sure she never had to turn down an opportunity because of somewhere I had to be or wanted to go. We had a beautiful home, more luxuries than any two people could ask for. Lavish vacations, fast cars, big parties. I thought it was enough. Honestly. And I was so wrong.”

Jack caught a flicker of movement and saw Sadie clench her hands tight in her lap. Like she was preparing herself to hear something awful. And like she was forcing herself not to touch him. He kept his eyes on her delicate fingers, slender and soft, as he continued. “I didn’t catch on quickly enough, I’m embarrassed to admit. I thought she was happy, that we were happy. But a few years into our marriage I realized that Christina didn’t want me to become more responsible for my own sake. No, she wanted me to stop spending money on things she considered frivolous so that I would spend it on her. And despite the exceedingly comfortable life we had together, apparently I wasn’t doing a good enough job providing Christina with the lifestyle she really wanted. So she found someone else who would.”

“Oh, Jack.” Sadie spoke so softly Jack almost missed it. But he didn’t miss the flare of pain in her eyes when she met his briefly before returning to the lab running laps.

“She got pregnant.” Jack’s voice caught in his throat and he had to cough before he was able to continue. “Christina got pregnant with his child. She came home one night, dropped her pregnancy test on the dining room table, told me that he’d make a better father than me – that he would be more supportive than me – and packed a bag and left.”

“Holy shit.” Sadie pivoted on the bench and, wrapping a hand around one of Jack’s, she dragged their intertwined fingers onto her lap. She was looking at him with a mixture of horror and astonishment and Jack couldn’t hold back a smile. Because he was certain she had no idea what she’d just done. “But, if she had his baby….”

Jack’s smile vanished. “She didn’t. She filed divorce papers the next week, but several weeks after that she lost the baby. Christ, Sadie, it was awful. She was heartbroken, naturally. But a small part of me couldn’t be sure if it was because she’d lost the baby or because she’d lost the one thing that inextricably linked her to her lover. Because not long after her miscarriage Christina came home. Their relationship was over, he’d kicked her out. And she wanted me back. Despite the divorce papers still sitting in court.

“I let her move back in, of course. But I moved out. Found a condo in the city. And for all intents and purposes, our relationship was over.”

“How long ago was that, Jack?”

“Almost four years ago.”

Sadie looked astonished. “But you’ve been married to her this entire time?”

Jack gave a noncommittal shrug. “Christina never retracted the divorce papers. Maybe because she was waiting to see what would happen. If I would come home, placate her with all of the things she felt she deserved. Or if someone better would come along. Either way, she carried on as if nothing had happened. And I, fool that I am, left her alone. Let her live in the house, drive her car, even access money in our shared bank account. She’d gone through a tremendous loss, regardless of how it had transpired, and I didn’t want to be the asshole who kicked her out while she was still grieving.”

“Jesus, Jack.” Sadie’s eyes were filled with something that resembled awe. Tempered by a hint of are you fucking crazy?

Jack chuckled. “Maybe I was. Crazy. But I decided not to push it. Christina didn’t interfere with my life, and I was completely uninvolved in hers. D&A International was exploding, business growing at a rate that Mark and I had never thought possible. My lawyers made sure that my own assets – and my company holdings – were protected for if and when the divorce was finalized. I was so focused on work; I didn’t want the distraction of an ugly divorce, of having to take crucial time away from expanding the company. And I dismissed every opportunity to have a serious relationship. I just wasn’t interested. Not until you.”     

Sadie closed her eyes then, her body leaning towards his of its own free will. And Jack held back every instinct he had to kiss her senseless then and there. When he continued, his voice was practically shaking with restraint.

“After Colorado, I asked my lawyers to begin finalizing the divorce. And as I’d always known she would, Christina fought it. Tooth and nail. Because now, unlike before, I’m in the perfect position to give her everything she’s always wanted. Even more than her lover promised her. But, unfortunately for her, I don’t want her. And I haven’t for a very long time.”

“Jack…,” Sadie’s voice was soft as she looked at him warily. “Do you still love her?”

“No.” Jack didn’t hesitate, not for one second. “To be honest, I’m not sure I ever did. Not truly. Perhaps there were certain parts of her that I loved. At least in the beginning. But my feelings for Christina always lacked depth. They were two-dimensional. And they are so eclipsed, Sadie, completely and utterly demolished by what I feel for you.”

Jack barely had a chance to react before Sadie gave him a hasty but heated kiss. She pulled back almost as quickly as she’d advanced, but Jack caught her face in one hand before she could escape completely. His body clamoring for more, Jack tried to drag her back to his mouth but Sadie pressed one hand to his lips.

“We had a deal, remember?”

Jack managed a small nod.

“Good. My turn.” Her fingers still hot on his mouth, Sadie pinned him with a serious look. “Are you and Christina officially divorced?”

“Yes,” Jack murmured against her hand.

“Did you really, truly step down from your position at D&A International?”

“Yes.”

“Mark says you are living here, in the city. Are you planning on staying? Permanently?”

“Yes.”

“Do you love me?”

Jack’s eyes flashed with something dark and possessive but he simply answered, “yes.”

“Shit.” Sadie dropped her hand from his mouth and wiggled back. He felt the loss of her immediately.

“What?”

“You really are. A problem.”

Jack realized he should be terrified. Nothing Sadie said should give him hope. But the way she was looking at him.... What had she called him that fateful morning? You are my addiction and my cure rolled up into one. Yup, she was looking at him exactly like that. And Jack felt his pulse begin to race.

“Why am I a problem, Sadie?”

“Because I want to hate you, Jack. For all of it. For kissing me in Colorado. For how much I wanted you after that, even when I knew I shouldn’t. For how easily you worked your way into my bed. And my heart. For the lies, the secrets. Even for Jasper. It would be so much easier if I could just hate you, Jack. But I can’t. I don’t.”

Jack could feel his face split into the biggest fucking grin. Ever. “You don’t.”

“No.” Sadie’s voice was small, her eyes focused on her lap. Where she still held his hand in hers.

“Since I answered all of your questions, Sadie, I think it’s only fair if you answer a few of mine. Okay?”

She frowned but nodded.

“Do you believe me, that I never meant to hurt you? That despite the mistakes I made, I wasn’t trying to deceive you? Or trick you?”

“Hmmm…,” Sadie considered him for a moment, calm, focused, before she finally answered, “yes.”

“Do you forgive me? For my fuck-ups, my stupidity?”

“I suppose. Yes.”

“Do you want me to stay here? Permanently?”

“Yes.”

“Sadie?”

“Yes?”

“Look at me,” Jack cupped the nape of her neck. He waited until she was looking at him, her green gaze hesitant but still hopeful. “Ready?”

Sadie just nodded.

“Do you love me?”

Sadie paused for a split second and then, without warning, she gave Jack the most brilliant smile he had ever seen. “Yes.”

“Thank god,” was all Jack managed before they were kissing. Ignoring the dogs barking nearby and the glances from the joggers running past, they kissed with an intensity that threatened to tip the bench backwards. Lips and whispers and sighs of contentment erasing all of the space between them.  

Gasping for breath, Jack broke from her lips just long enough to ask her one more question. “Sadie, love, will you take me home?”       

Her tongue dipping quickly between his lips, Jack felt her answer down to the marrow of his bones.

Yes.