Chapter Eleven
Richie stared up at the ceiling of his sister’s apartment. His mind whirled a million miles a minute. Pressing his eyes closed, he pinched the bridge of his nose. What in the hell was he going to do? He blew out a long, slow breath, thinking back to the events from the night before.
***
“This DJ sucks,” he screamed over the drunken crowd. Warm beer sloshed around in his belly as he made his way around the third frat party. The three sorority parties before then had been a bust, so he’d been hoping that the frats would be better.
He grabbed another warm beer from the tapped keg and made his way into the living room. There were a few people he knew from school but most he didn’t recognize. However, he did notice that the room was full of beautiful ladies.
He tossed back the beer, allowing the effects to comfort him and drown out the demons that were threatening to consume him. A beautiful busty blond moved to the music, rubbing the entire length of herself up and down his side.
Having lost all his inhibitions, he gripped her by the hips and pulled her against him, grinding and moving to the beat of the music. She was pretty, with wide blue eyes and perfectly shaped lips. No, she was more than pretty, she was hot.
“Richie, man, how’s it going?” called a voice from behind him.
He turned and saw the captain of the lacrosse team with his very own blond dancing against his side. Richie fumbled through his muddled mind—struggling to remember the guy’s name. He felt somewhat guilty because they’d hung out several times through the year.
Doug. Derrek. DUKE.
“Duke, what’s happening, man?” Richie said slapping him a high five.
“Not much. Just won our last game, out doing some celebrating. How’s Kendra doing?”
Everything clicked back into place. Duke and Kendra had dated for about a year before she’d transferred to another school. They’d parted on good terms, as far as he knew. Kendra and Richie were only two years apart, but he still looked at her as his baby sister.
“She’s good. Staying busy, but doing really good.” The tall blond at Duke’s side brushed up against him and whispered something in his ear.
“Well, I think we’re going to dance.”
“Take it easy.”
He watched as the couple disappeared into the crowd. He then looked down at the girl on his side. “Why don’t we go upstairs?”
Her face brightened and she nodded. The entire way up the stairs, he prayed that something would happen. Unfortunately, the only thing that happened was the beautiful girl’s disappointment and a drunken call to his sister.
***
Pushing his feelings about the girl aside, he found his mind wandering to Lance. What was he doing? Was he pissed about Richie leaving? His heart pinched as he remembered the Festival. Lance was spinning and needed his support, but he was too busy wallowing in pity and confusion to be the friend he needed to be.
He thought back to what Kendra had said. “You can’t help who you love.”
Did he really love Lance? Sure, he’d loved him like he would his best friend, but was there something more to it? He thought about the way his body had reacted when their lips had touched. First, there had been shock and awkwardness, but then, it was as if something had clicked inside him and he’d lost his mind.
With an annoyed sigh, Richie pushed himself up from the couch and leaned forward, cradling his face in his hands. When was the last time he’d showered? Hell, when was the last time he’d brushed his teeth? Turning his head, he sniffed and grimaced. Kendra hadn’t been lying. He smelled like a bar and his tongue felt like he’d licked the floor of a bar. Maybe a shower would do him some good.
As the steaming water rolled over his tense and tired body, Richie leaned his forehead against the cool tile of the shower. For about the millionth time, he went through every aspect of his life. He’d been with more women than he was actually proud to admit and each time he’d had absolutely zero problems in the performance department. But there was another thought, his sister was right. Even though he had bedded a number of beauties, he quickly bolted after only a few months. Maybe something had been there all along that he was trying to keep hidden and just ignored it with a stream of crowded bedfellows.
Something had definitely taken hold since the Lance thing came about. Now, his thoughts were filled with Lance and his smile, the way he laughed, and the way he paid attention to any and everything that came out of his crazy mouth. There was a fluttering in the pit of his stomach and his cock twitched against his leg. He was growing hard again and this time, he didn’t stop it.
He thought about the way Lance’s eyes lit up when he talked about spinning and the way the dimple in his left cheek was more pronounced than the one on the right. He thought about how he complimented his cooking and often cleaned up afterward. Then his thoughts turned more erotic.
What would have happened if he hadn’t have stopped the kiss? Would they have slept together? The idea of sleeping with Lance wasn’t at all unappealing. In fact, his completely hard shaft tightened further at the simple thought of being tangled in the sheets with Lance. What did he feel like? What does it feel like with a man?
His heart began to beat faster as his fist closed around his shaft. He squeezed his eyes closed and thought about the possibilities. As he did, he slowly moved his hand back and forth. He allowed his mind to take over and imagine that he hadn’t walked away scared out of his mind.
Short breaths puffed through his lips as he imagined Lance’s mouth against his neck and his body pressed against his. A fire was lit in the pit of his stomach, as Lance broke the kiss and stared up at him. There were no words that were spoken. Instead, he took him by the hand and led him into the bedroom, kicking the door closed behind them.
As the fantasy continued, Richie’s hand moved faster and faster. His free hand gripping the shower head as his body tensed and became alive. Under the steady warm stream it all made sense.
The two of them collapsed onto the bed in a tangle of limbs. Lance settled his body over Richie’s, bracing some of his weight on his left arm as he reached between their bodies and stroked Richie through his pants. A moan slipped through his lips as Lance sealed his mouth over his.
The thundering sound of a fist against the bathroom slammed Richie back into reality with the force of a sumo wrestler.
“What?” he croaked. “What?” he said again after clearing his throat.
“Hey, you’ve got company,” Kendra said from the other side of the door.
Richie frowned but quickly washed up. “I’ll be right out.” Fuck.
Moving quickly, Richie climbed from the shower, his semi-erect member still aching for a release. He slipped on a pair of gym shorts he’d tossed in his bag and then pulled a shirt on. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but seeing Lance and Dot in his sister’s living room was not one of them.
For a long moment, they just stared at one another. Everyone else in the room seemed to have vanished. When had Lance’s eyes become so intense? There was no hiding the sadness. His eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot from lack of sleep. Swallowing past the lump that had formed in his throat, he crossed his arms over his chest.
“What are you doing here?”
“Why don’t we let them talk,” Dot said as so moved to stand beside Kendra.
His sister looked questioningly at him, and he gave her a nod. “Let’s run and grab some coffee and some donuts,” Dot said as she hooked her arm through Kendra’s. “And we can get caught up on everything that’s happened since I’ve been gone.”
Richie watched as the girls left the apartment, staring at the door as it closed softly behind them. When he turned his attention back to Lance, he found his friend watching him with a guarded expression.
“How you been?” Lance asked softly.
Richie remained silent for a few moments. He didn’t trust himself to speak. Finally, he blew out a slow breath. “What are you doing here, Lance? You’ve got to be at the festival in three hours.”
“I needed to check on you. I’ve been worried sick.”
“Have you?” Richie asked, arching his brows.
Lance frowned. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? Of course, I’ve been worried. You just freaking took off. Didn’t say where you were going or anything. You could have at least had the decency to let me know you were okay.”
The slight waver in Lance’s voice betrayed the firm look on his face.
“I didn’t know I had to check in or get permission to leave our apartment,” Richie snapped back.
Lance’s frown deepened. “You don’t have to be a dick, Rich. We need to talk about what happened.”
Richie pressed his lips into a thin line but refused to say anything.
“Fine,” Lance snapped. “You won’t talk, so I will. I know how you’re feeling.”
Richie snorted. “Not likely.”
“Don’t be a dick. You’re scared. I get it. Up until we kissed, you were sleeping with and dating girls. Somewhere along the way, you decided you wanted to experiment. You’re ashamed of what happened and you feel dirty. I get it, I was just something for you to try. You used me to satiate your own curiosity, just like you used the girls you used to sleep with. Got what you wanted and then booted them to the curb. Only this time, it’s different because you’re disgusted with yourself.”
Richie’s frown melted away and his heart twisted in his chest. Is that what Lance really thought? Lance thought that he was just going through a phase and experimenting.
“You’re right. I’m scared because I don’t understand what’s going on, but let me make one thing abundantly clear.” He took a step closer, he was so close Lance’s cologne drifted around him. “I didn’t use you to satisfy my curiosity.”
Lance stepped back. The glimmer of hope began to shine again. But he pushed it back. There was no way, was there?
“Then what was that, Richie? Why did you kiss me back?”
“Why did you kiss me in the first place?” Richie fired back.
Lance opened his mouth only to snap it shut. Richie frowned and tilted his head to the side. “Do you have feelings for me?”
Lance didn’t respond. Richie decided to step closer. He wanted to try a little experiment. This time, he was close enough to feel the heat coming off Lance’s body. His eyes darted to his friend’s lips and he felt a twitch in his pants, reminding him of what he’d been doing in the shower before he was interrupted. His palms grew sweaty and they itched to reach for him, only serving to add fuel to the confused emotions swirling around inside him.
“I’m going to be late. I need to go,” Lance said in a gravelly whisper. He didn’t give Richie a chance to respond because he was out the door and down the steps before Richie could say anything.
“Well, that achieved absolutely nothing,” he muttered as he sagged onto the couch.
***
Lance pushed through the door and stepped out into the warm sunlight. Leaning forward, he braced his hands on his knees and gulped in huge amounts of air. He knew he’d had feelings for Richie for a long time, but this time it was different. “Hey? You okay?” Dot asked breaking into his thoughts as she and Kendra walked up carrying a bag of donuts and cups of coffee.
“We’ve got to go. I’m going to be late,” he said in an even tone. He didn’t give either woman a chance to say a word as he slipped into the car and slammed the rusted door. He watched with watery eyes as the girls said their goodbyes.
Kendra waved at him but he only nodded and moved his gaze to stare out the window. Dot got into the car and turned the engine over. “What was that about?” she asked as she pulled away from the curb and jetted through town back toward the interstate.
“He asked if I had feelings for him,” he whispered as he looked down at his hands.
“Well, we know you do,” she said matter-of-factly.
Lance shook his head. “No, I don’t just have feelings for him, Dot. I’m in love with him.” The phrase hung in the air between them and it was in that moment that he realized that of all the people he could be with, the one he was in love with didn’t love him back. He should be happy he got the gig at the Festival, but the only thing he could think of was the soul shattering pain he felt.
“You’re the only one who knows. I’m in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same.”
Dot nodded. She knew the pain he felt herself.