FIFTEEN
Violet
I turned in my sleep, so when I open my eyes, my view is the macro version of Cullen’s throat. I’m wrapped up tight in his arms, tucked into his body like a letter in an envelope, our legs are even intertwined. I smile and press my lips to the warm stubble taunting me. I feel his fingers start to trace up and down my spine.
“Good morning, Beautiful.”
“I’m not sure it’s still morning.”
“Does it matter?”
“Nope.” I shift so I can tilt my head back and see his face. I reach up to place my hand along his jaw, stroking the soft, coarse hair that follows the handsome lines and angles of his face.
“You’re so unbelievably handsome,” I whisper.
“I’m nothing compared to you,” Cullen’s sultry voice vibrates my chest. While I’m still appreciating the butterflies awakening in my belly, he nudges my mouth with his in a slow, sleepy kiss. There’s no hurry, just simple movement of lips and tongues savoring and stroking. I nip at his thick bottom lip and he pulls mine into his mouth for a lazy fondling with his tongue. Cullen’s arousal presses hard and impressive into my side, but he doesn’t seem in a rush to do anything about it. I’m happy just enjoying the feeling of his mouth on mine—hot and smooth—and his hands stroking my skin. His fingers are up under my shirt, kneading the muscles of my back, wrapping around my hips, squeezing and caressing. So many sensations in so little time…or has it been hours?
My hands haven’t left the warmth under Cullen’s shirt since he began the assault on my lips. I think I have every ripple of muscle memorized and how each tease of my fingertips tightens different groups of them. Now, as I scrape my nails along the elastic of his sweats riding ungodly low on his hips, the pack of muscles in his abs contracts as he exhales hard onto my cheek. My eyelashes flutter. I continue to play along the V, tormenting us both.
Cullen releases my lips. They feel swollen but satisfied. I love it.
“Wanna take a shower?” he tempts.
“Hmm? What?” I come to my senses enough to start to feel slightly awkward.
“It’s ok if you don’t. Wow, your heart is racing.”
“Uh, no, it’s just that…” I trail off, biting my lip and looking down between us. We’re so close; there’s no space. I’m kind of trapped on the couch with no way to avoid what I just started to say.
“It’s what? You’re safe, Violet. Talk to me.”
“I know,” I sigh. Be strong, I tell myself. “I just never had a good experience taking a shower with someone else. It was always bad.” I shudder keeping the memories at bay. “Even taking one alone, but with someone in the room…” I attempt to shake my head.
Cullen pulls me in and holds me tight. I can barely breathe, but I need his warmth more than air right now. “Baby, I’m so sorry. You don’t have to take one with me. At all. Ever. It’s ok.”
I breathe in his masculine scent, still with a hint of syrup, and it makes me brave. He makes me brave.
“No,” I mumble into his shirt. Cullen chuckles and loosens his grip so I can get some oxygen. “I want to try with you.” I sit up to face him.
“Are you sure? Don’t do it because you think I’m mad or something. I only want you to do what you want to do—for yourself.”
“It is for me. I’m just braver when I’m with you.”
“I think you’ve always been brave. I just believe in you.”
Aaaaand…I’m done. On five little words, I know I’ve fallen for Cullen Metz. I lean in and sink into his kiss, igniting on the inside. He rolls over me, kissing my neck, and pulling up my shirt.
I can’t help the little moan that escapes my throat, “Still want that shower?”
“Oh, yes… shower.”
I giggle, “You’d better stop then.”
He slides his teeth off my earlobe, “I’ll get my gym bag from the truck.”
“You already had a bag?” I’m a little incredulous.
Cullen sounds amused, “I always keep one close for practice or a quick workout.”
“Oh, well in that case, I’ll get the water running.” He winks at me and I kiss him one more time. He pushes off the couch, then extends his hand to help me up. I land against his chest and he grips my ass, tugging my pelvis into his erection. There’s a hot thumping between my legs.
“Hurry up,” I demand.
“Yes, ma’am.”
I run upstairs, nerves have me almost falling over my own feet. I don’t really know what to do with myself once I’m in the bathroom besides turn on the water and take two fluffy towels from under the vanity. Am I supposed to strip? Am I supposed to get in? I’m fidgeting with the bottom of my tank when Cullen comes in behind me empty handed.
I look up at him in the mirror, “Did you forget your bag?”
“No,” his eyes melt mine as he wraps his arms around me. “I left it in the hallway when I saw you standing in here.” He pulls his soap from his pocket and puts it on the ledge of the tub.
“I didn’t know what to do with myself,” I confess.
“That’s ok, you don’t have to.”
I turn in his arms and step up on my tiptoes to reach his lips. It’s easy to pick up where we left off on the couch. The searing heat of his tongue pierces straight into my heart and I hold back a whimper of need. We disengage long enough for Cullen to pull off my top, releasing my breasts for his exploration. As he tugs on my nipple with his teeth then swirls his tongue over the pink flesh, I yank at the hem of his shirt, nearly crazy to get to his bare skin. Cullen pulls it forward over his head, rippling the muscles of his torso in my favorite way, and I can’t help but smile at the fact that this is all mine to enjoy.
“Whatcha smilin’ at?” he asks as he steps out of his sweats. Cullen’s frame takes up most of my bathroom. His physique is massive, even when compared to my curvier size eight. I’m not short, either. At five-eight, I hold my own with a lot of women, but compared to Cullen The Quarterback’s worth of muscle on a little shy of six and a half feet of man, I feel like a Smurf.
“I love it when you do that.”
“What? Take off my pants?” He winks.
“Yeah, well that, but I meant when you pull your shirt over your head.”
“Ah, I see. I can do more stuff that you’ll love.” He pulls me closer and dips his hand in the back of my pants. His fiery, naked body sizzles into my bones on contact.
“Hmm, is that so? Like what?” His fingers delve into my heat from behind as he leans forward and nibbles at my shoulder. It always astonishes me how ready I am for him and how fast I can turn him on. “Yeah, that’s good…”
He swirls around my opening a few times, then withdraws.
“Tease,” I choke out.
Cullen chuckles as his mouth drops down to my breast again while he rids me of my cotton pants. I try to step out of them but he lifts me by my waist instead. He steps on the fabric and they collapse as a heap on the floor. He steps us into the steamy water and closes the curtain. Droplets of spray pepper his face and neck as the showerhead pounds into his back. Water cascading around his arms and sides washes over me, warming the places Cullen isn’t touching.
Just when I think I have seen all things sexy, Cullen has to get in the shower. I don’t think there’s anything that compares to him hot, naked, and wet. Tan skin, slightly flushed, water dripping off his hair, big round eyes—goddamn, I’ll never get this fire out.
I close my eyes to burn this memory into my brain forever, while large hands and strong fingertips trace waterfalls down my shoulders to my chest. His lips draw in my pebbled nipple, sending fireworks straight into my core. I moan and roughly pull his hair. He flicks his tongue while rolling the other one between his fingers and I have to grip his arms for support. He moves us back a notch, turns my back to the spray, and kneels in front of me. Oh shit, this might be what he meant by “more stuff”.
Cullen kisses my belly, kneading the muscles of my back. Then he grips my ass and wedges his head up between my legs. Slowly circling my hard bundle of nerves with his tongue, I cry out in pleasure and use the walls to keep my balance. While working me with his mouth, Cullen drags his fingertips from my ankles up past my knees to my thighs, stopping at my aching folds. Dipping two fingers in, he curls them forward and it’s like fucking magic. Hot water pouring down my spine, an even hotter tongue spiraling around my thrumming bud, thick fingers plunging as I squeeze around them, all topped off by the rough scrape of his facial hair on the sensitive skin of my inner thigh and I lose my mind.
“Cullen! Fuck!” My hips rock as the orgasm rips through me. He withdraws, stands, and grabs my waist before my knees buckle. He ravages my mouth and backs me up against the wall. My shampoo and body wash clatter to the tub floor as he hoists my legs up around his hips.
“I need you now, Violet.”
Cullen’s tip easily finds my entrance open and waiting for him. With one smooth push, he’s in up to the base, my muscles clinching and releasing to accommodate his impressive size. With one arm tight around me and the other pressed Superman-style against the wall, Cullen starts to move. At this angle, he can pull almost all the way out and drive back in. Over and over, he thrusts upward while I clutch his shoulders and revel in the pure, animalistic enjoyment of all he has to offer.
Changing the angle, Cullen circles his hips and swipes over my swollen clit. “Do it again and I’m gonna come,” I gasp.
“I’m ready for you, baby,” Cullen repeats the move and I absolutely shatter.
White bursts of light dance behind my eyelids and my head rolls back in my frenzy. Cullen bucks and loses control a few seconds later, coming with me, pulsing and jerking as my body clutches all around him. He groans out my name and pants hard into my shoulder. He pins me against the wall with his massive chest and thighs while he comes down from the crest of his pleasure.
Slowly, he lowers my feet to the bottom of the tub and puts his forehead to mine. My eyes are closed and my breaths are still coming fast.
“Are you ok?” he asks.
“I’m effing awesome.”
He kisses the tip of my nose, and I feel him bend down to pick up the bottles that fell. I open my eyes and he’s holding our soaps.
“Thanks,” I smile, “for a completely new memory.”
“I like to think it’s one in a whole series.”
***
I’m finally done drying my hair and putting on some pressed powder and mascara. Leaving the bathroom, I spot Cullen sitting on the edge of my bed, leaning forward with his arms on his knees. His head is hung kind of low and he’s got prayer hands.
Immediately I run through the last few hours and try to think of anything I could have possibly done that was wrong. I come up empty; I mean, I even picked up his towel from the miraculous shower we took.
I quietly approach the doorway. “Cullen? What’s wrong? What did I do?”
“Huh?” He looks up. “Why would you think it’s you?”
“I just figured you were upset with me for something.”
“I’m the total opposite of upset with you, Violet. I’m mad at myself.”
“Well, that’s even worse! Why?”
“Come here and sit,” he pats his leg.
I go and sit. I’m nervous. Cullen holds my hands and starts to play with my fingers.
“I got carried away in the shower, and I didn’t use a condom. I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t think. I wanted you so bad that I just didn’t think. I’m clean, I promise, but that’s not the only worry here, you know? I promised you that you were safe with me and then I went and did this.”
I free my hands and take his face, brushing over his soft hair and letting the smell of his soap waft up and overrun my senses.
“Cullen, I’m cleaner than you can imagine and I’ve been on the pill since I was in high school. We’re fine, everything’s perfect. You felt amazing. And I’m kinda glad you got carried away. At least I’m not the only one going nuts over here,” I tug on a few strands of his chocolatey brown hair.
Cullen tilts his head and covers my lips with his, going in for a long, languid kiss. When he’s done fully savoring my mouth, he comes away with a smile.
“I just don’t want you to think that I’d purposely put you at any kind of risk.”
“I don’t. I trust you, and even if something did happen, I’m sure we could figure it out.”
“Oh yeah?”
“You know I’m crazy for you, Metz,” I kiss him again.
“I’m definitely crazy for you, 2 Color.”
That makes me smile. “So, what do you think two crazies like us should do today? I mean, most of the day is gone, but still.”
“You mean, instead of enjoying your body, napping, and doing it all over again?”
I laugh, “Well, I am having a hard time getting my fill of you, quite honestly, but…”
“It would be fun to do something together that we needed clothes for?” Cullen fills in.
“Right! Mix it up a little—variety and all that shit.”
“Ok, so what do you want to do?”
I tap my chin in mock thought. “Something active.” Cullen’s eyes twinkle. “Something else active,” I correct.
He relents, “Do you have a bike?”
“Yeah, in storage. Why? You wanna ride bikes?”
“Why not? We can get yours and put it in my truck, go pick up mine, and head over to the trails for a while.”
“That’s a great idea! I’ll put some waters and stuff together in a backpack.”
I stand up, excited for something to do that will get us outside together in fresh air, doing something unique and new.
“Um, Violet? One thing first,” he takes my hand.
“What’s that?”
“My pancakes wore off somewhere between the kitchen sink and the shower, so I’m starving. Do you want to get lunch before we start this little expedition?”
“Oh, you poor thing,” I coo, “of course we can get lunch. You’re going to need your energy and strength anyway, Hot Stuff. I might not be done with you.”
Cullen
Getting carried away in the shower has me on edge, but I hold her hand across the center console pretending that I’m not bothered. Sure, we’re both clean, I don’t doubt that. But there’s additional pressure with going unprotected—stuff we’re not ready for. Hell, I can’t even get Violet to open up to me about her past. What would she do if forced into a future? I know her husband was an asshole and I know she was miserable with him, but I don’t know what he specifically did to make her that way.
These secrets are eating away at me as we pull into the wetlands where I usually go on long runs. I guzzle water as if it will help quell the burning in my gut surrounding whatever it is she won’t tell me. I thought I would be able to wait it out like Renee said and let Violet tell me if and when she was ready. But this situation has made me restless and that’s making me impatient. Impatience is leading to doubt and, well, that isn’t going to turn out well for either of us.
I rub at the familiar, biting pain in my chest that I used to get when I didn’t have Violet around me all the time. The thought of losing her to secrets she won’t ever feel like she can reveal starts a series of aches through my ribcage, like I’m being ripped apart slowly.
“Hey, are you good?” Violet places a delicate hand over the thick forearm that I’m using to cover my sternum where it hurts the most.
She’s looking up at me with those big, round eyes all filled with concern and I nearly forget how I got riled up in the first place. If I spooned out my heart and handed it to her right now, how could I still not be perfectly content knowing I was in her care?
“Yeah, let’s ride some bikes,” I hold her chin softly and give her a gentle kiss. Some of the hurt relents.