Oh, he thinks he’s gonna win? Hell no he isn’t.
Jeff and I were neck and neck as we ran up the hill. Little did he know I’d been doing Crossfit classes for the last four months. My ass was in top shape.
“Fucking hell, Hayes!” Jeff called out as we raced to the top. With a wide grin, I knew I was going to at least beat him to the top. Knowing Jeff, he’d slide back down on his ass just to win.
I reached the top and pulled myself up. Lifting my hands above my head, I took in the moment to gloat at my victory. Jeff was almost to the top and I could tell he was struggling to make it.
“Steeper than it looks, isn’t it?” I called out.
“Fuck you,” he spat back while lifting himself over the edge.
Glancing down, Heather jumped and clapped. “Now be careful coming back down!” she called out.
Pesh, I had this. “I’m the king of the—”
Something crawled up my leg, causing me to look down. My eyes widened in horror as I let out a scream so loud I was sure my parents heard it in Austin.
“Get it off!” I yelled as I shook my leg. My foot slipped and I tumbled forward. Jeff reached out for me, but missed. The only thing I could do was hope and pray I didn’t hit my head on one of the rocks on the way down. At the rate I was tumbling down the side of the hill, I was for sure going to win now.
Turning to Heather, I asked, “Are they out there?”
She attempted to hide her smile, but failed. “Yes.”
I rolled my eyes. “Great. I’m never going to hear the end of this.”
Heather shook her head. “Probably not. I’m just glad you’re okay. You scared me to death when you slipped and came down that hill.”
There was no denying Jeff would never let this go. Even my future wife and the mother of my kids was about to bust-out laughing.
Letting out a frustrated sigh, I motioned with my hands for her to let it out. “Just get it out now, will you.”
She covered her mouth and lost it laughing. The nurse next to me chuckled as she finished wrapping my twisted ankle. Glancing up, she said, “At least you’ll have a fun story to tell your kids.”
Heather laughed harder.
“It’s not that funny,” I stated as I shot her a hardened stare.
Wiping away her tears, she nodded. “I know it’s not. But it kind of is. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you … heard you … you’ve never …”
She spun around and headed to the bathroom in the room. “Have … to … pee!”
I focused back on the nurse. It was clear she was laughing by the way her shoulders shook. “I don’t like bugs.”
Her eyes swung up to mine. “Are butterflies considered bugs?”
Another round of laughter came from the bathroom. The nurse chuckled and looked back at my ankle.
“You’re very lucky you didn’t break anything, Mr. Hayes. Or worse yet, hit your head on the way down.”
Nodding, I replied, “I know. We’re getting married in a couple of weeks. A broken anything wouldn’t have been good.” My chest puffed out. “But I won. That’s all that matters.”
She shook her head. “Uh-huh. So glad I never had boys.”
After securing the wrap, she placed her hands on her hips and gave me a thoughtful smile. “No more trying to show off. And you’ll want to keep off that ankle as much as possible. It’s not a bad sprain, but it will be painful.”
The door to the bathroom opened and Heather walked out, trying to keep from laughing. “Is he ready to go?” she asked the nurse.
“He is indeed. You’ll want to stop at the Walgreens to get some Advil if you didn’t bring any along.”
Heather nodded. “Yes ma’am.”
I looked at her in horror. “Wait. I’m not getting any pain pills? This thing is throbbing.”
The nurse slowly turned to face me. Her left eye narrowed and for one brief moment, I felt the need to cover my junk.
“Mr. Hayes, you have a mild sprain of your ankle. You’ll be fine with Advil and icing it.”
“But—”
She lifted her hand. “Your future wife is going to give birth to two babies back to back. She’s going to have to carry them for nine months. Two of them. Not one. Two.” She lifted her hand and showed me two fingers.
I swallowed hard.
“I think Advil will take care of your mild sprain fine, just like the doctor said earlier.”
With a fast nod, I replied, “Yes ma’am. I agree.”
She handed me the papers and said, “You can check out at the front desk. Enjoy your camping trip.”
Spinning on her heels, she headed out the door while Heather and I watched the door slowly shut.
Heather turned back to me and we both whispered, “Wow.”
“I feel sorry for her husband when he gets sick,” I said as I carefully got off the table. Heather chuckled and reached for my arm.
“Do you want the crutches?” she asked.
“Hell no. The second Jeff sees me with them it will be like an open invitation for him to start.”
She pressed her lips together while looking at my ankle then back up at me. “Are you sure? They said to stay off of it.”
“It’s fine. It’s only a mild sprain … remember?”
I went to take a step and nearly let out another girlish scream.
“Josh!” Heather gasped.
Reaching out, I stated, “Give me the damn crutches.”
Without even attempting to hide her smile, Heather handed me the crutches.
I dragged in a deep breath and motioned for her to open the door. “It’s stiff that’s all. The quicker I get this over with … the better.”
“It’ll be fine. Everyone’s glad you’re not hurt. That’s all that matters,” Heather said as she walked next to me. The closer we got to the doors that lead to the waiting room, the more I dreaded my decision to run up that damn hill. Why did Jeff always try to one-up me?
Bastard.
Heather pushed the doors open and I maneuvered through them. I didn’t see anyone in the waiting room and breathed a sigh of relief.
“They must have all gone back to the campsite,” Heather stated.
“Good.”
As we headed to the doors to leave, Heather asked, “Do you want to go home? I’m sure Gunner and Jeff wouldn’t mind taking down our stuff.”
I let out a gruff laugh. “There is no way I’m going home. Jeff would never let me live it down. I just need to take some Advil and I’ll be fine.”
We walked outside and Jeff was standing there with a giant bouquet of balloons. All of them were in a different shape and color of butterfly.
My mouth dropped open when he pulled out from behind his back a My First Butterfly Collection box.
“To help you get over your fear,” he stated with a huge smile.
Lifting my crutch, I started after him as Heather cried out for me to stop.
Jeff laughed as he started to walk backwards while I hopped on one foot toward him.
I launched my weapon of choice, actually my only weapon, at him and he ducked. Unfortunately, Ari didn’t.
Heather gasped when the crutch made contact.
My heart dropped as I whispered, “Oh. Shit.”
Ari was covering her eye as she let out every curse word known to man. When she dropped her hand, I only saw evil coming from her one good eye.
Turning to Heather, I said, “Maybe we should go home … like now.”