I was so shocked at the simple answer I couldn’t look away from Jack’s face.  My mouth opened and closed twice as I tried to formulate a response. 

Finally, I managed, “For how long?” 

“Off and on since you started seeing Kevin.” 

“Why?” 

“You weren’t his type and he’s a douche.” 

“Am I your type?” 

“Yes.” 

“Are you sure?  Maybe you sort of made me your type.” 

“I doubt you’ll believe anything I say about this.”  He glanced through the window to the water beyond.  “I realize it looks bad.  Nothing I say is going to change the fact that I behaved inappropriately.”  He returned his gaze to me.  “I’m afraid I don’t regret it.” 

“You don’t?” 

“No.  I don’t.   

I took a sip of my wine.  “What do you think my sister told me?” 

He released a humorless laugh.  “I can only imagine.” 

“What do you think my mother said about all of this?” 

“You spoke to your mother?”  I nodded.  He gave me a genuine smile and I saw some of his tension ease away.  “I’m glad you did.” 

“Ava isn’t a reputable source.  My mother is above reproach.”  The silence drew out between us and I watched him watch me.  “At first, I was angry.  I felt manipulated.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“That changed to confusion because I’m not the sort of woman men lose their shit over.” 

“I disagree.  You’re magnificent.” 

“Hardly.” 

“You’re my ideal, Petra.  I won’t apologize for that.  I will apologize for being weird, upsetting you, and not telling you everything at the wedding.” 

“How do you think that would have turned out?” 

“Poorly.  Which is why I withheld the information.” 

Tapping my nail on the glass, I considered.  “Start from the beginning.  Tell me now.” 

Rebecca brought our appetizers and refilled my wine.  She didn’t interrupt us for our meal order.  I think she could tell our conversation was serious.

Jack took a deep breath then a drink of his wine.  “I was home after an assignment in Asia.  I wanted to find a house I could use as a home base and Mom had some ideas.” 

“Mine filled me in on her reputation as a real estate tycoon.”  I wasn’t kidding. 

“When my dad died, she used his life insurance money to get into it.  She tripled what he left her in five years.” 

“It’s how she met my mother.” 

His gaze was intense.  “Yes.”

“They wanted to do some matchmaking…” 

“Kevin found out about you from eavesdropping on Mom’s call with Leda.  I was out of the country so he got to you first.” 

“Nice.” 

“She was furious to learn who he was dating.  By the time I got back, you were on your second date.” 

“I remember it painfully.” 

He took a longer swig of his wine.  “At first, I figured you were with him because of my mom.” 

“If maybe I was looking for a paycheck marriage?”  He inclined his head and I didn’t blame him for wondering. 

“I started digging.  The more I learned about you, the more confused I was that you were dating my idiot brother.  It certainly wasn’t about money.” 

I cleared my throat.  “I needed a date for my ten-year high school reunion.  That’s how it started.  He asked me out twice before but I said no.  The third time, I was vulnerable.  I needed a date.”  With a shrug, I added, “My standards were low.  Look decent in a suit and don’t make me look bad.” 

“Kevin shared every detail of your relationship.  No matter how often my mother and I told him to stop, he wouldn’t.” 

Jack removed his phone and pulled up a screenshot of a text conversation with Kevin.  He’d attached a photo of me at the reunion and wrote, “Looks like your type is more into your little brother.” 

He shook his head.  “He needed to rub it in.  To overshare.” 

“What kind of details?” 

“Like making him wait months for sex.”  He tucked his phone back in his pocket and his expression was fierce.  “When we were alone, he tried sharing more.  I busted him in the mouth.” 

I remembered Kevin’s bizarre explanation for the fat lip he showed up with.  Something about tripping and hitting a wall.

Jack was the wall.

“It’s a little awkward having this conversation with you, Jack.” 

“I imagine.” 

“I wasn’t attracted to him sexually.  He finally wore me down.  The few times we were together were awful in so many ways.  I also realize he took sex as his signal to propose.” 

“I’m glad you said no.” 

“So am I.” 

“I’m glad you said yes to me.” 

“You had a drink in your hand.”  He smiled and I returned it.  Then I said softly, “Saying yes to you was too easy, Jack.” 

“At first, I followed you on social media.  I love your snarky posts, the way you see the world.”  One side of his mouth lifted in a smile.  “You’re gorgeous.  I started going to your profile to see what new photos you posted.” 

“You wanted pictures of me?”  It was unusual to say the least.

Moving his wine out of the way, he crossed his arms on the table again.  “My favorites were ones you posted at business conferences.  Dressed professionally with expressions that ranged from irritated to bored to struggling not to laugh.” 

He glanced down at the table.  “You should probably eat something while we talk.” 

In a daze, I made a small plate of olives, hummus, and shrimp.  “I stalked your profile, too.” 

“Not in the same way, Petra.  I promise.” 

Our eyes met over the small space.  Quietly, I asked, “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” 

“Yes.  Eat.” 

Robotically, I popped an olive in my mouth and let the fact that Jack masturbated to photos of me sink into my brain. 

“A few months into your relationship, I saw you downtown while I was taking city shots for a client.” 

He inhaled.  “You had a meeting at an outdoor café across the street from where I was set up.  I was stunned to see you in person.  You were even more beautiful than your photos.” 

“You took pictures?”  He nodded.  “Why?” 

“Every photo I’d seen of you was secondhand.  I wanted to take them personally.  You’re animated when you talk.  You laugh easily.  It was the tipping point for me.”

He tapped his finger on the edge of my plate and I took another bite. 

“Kevin and I have never gotten along.  There’s a five-year age difference so I was out of the house by the time he hit puberty.  I don’t know why he is the way he is but I have little tolerance for it.”

“There are three between Ava and me.  We couldn’t be more different as people.” 

“What he did to you…I never expected it.  I didn’t know he was fucking your sister or I’d have kicked his ass.  I’m sorry.” 

“It should have surprised me more than it did.  After the fact, I realized I should have seen it coming.  I hurt his pride.” 

“For the last year and a half, I’ve watched you.  While you were dating my brother and after things ended.  The way you handled it after he and Ava got engaged, I wouldn’t have been so reserved.” 

“I wasn’t going to pretend I cared about him.  They saw an opportunity to one-up me.  Maybe you, too.  My sister…she deliberately hurt me.”  Staring out the window for a moment, I added, “She tried to do it again today.” 

“I’m sorry, Petra.” 

“Have you ever done this before, Jack?” 

He shook his head.  “Two years ago, I would have said such behavior was impossible for a man like me to even consider.  I got addicted to your words and pictures, invaded your privacy when you didn’t know me.” 

“I became a fantasy.” 

“You became what I wanted my reality to be.  Everything I learned made me understand why our mothers thought we’d be an excellent match.  You make me laugh more than any person I’ve ever met.  I know you’re not perfect but you’re perfect for me.” 

“You want what your brother took…” 

“No, I want the chance to know how we are together.  The night we spent together talking, dancing, laughing, fucking…that was the best night of my life.” 

My heart raced at the reminders.

“I’ve never wanted a woman the way I want you.  No one has ever made my body ache with need or kept me perpetually hard.”  My eyes dropped to the table that concealed his lap and back up to his face.  “Like I am right now.”

“Jack…”

“I didn’t trust myself around you while you were dating.  After you ended things, I wanted to give you time.  I didn’t want you to lump me in with him, with how he was.” 

“I would have,” I admitted.

“I wouldn’t have blamed you.  I hoped time would make it less likely.  That maybe you could see me separate from him.” 

“I did.  I do.”  I finished my second glass of wine and hadn’t eaten nearly enough food.  “Part of me is flattered and I don’t know if that’s healthy.” 

“We established at the wedding that neither of us is normal, Petra.  I want to go with it, see where it leads.”  His voice dropped.  “Let me have you again.  Let me remind you.” 

After a small hesitation, I nodded.

He stood and dropped two large bills on the table from his wallet.  Taking my hand, he lifted me to my feet and nuzzled his face against mine.  I leaned back to look at him. 

“Your place or mine, Petra?” 

“Mine.  I need you to drive.” 

Handing him my keys, I waved at Rebecca and let him guide me from the building and into the passenger seat of my car.  He slid behind the wheel, adjusted the seat, and drove to my building in record time. 

“You knew where I lived,” I noted absently as he parked.  “When you took me home the first time.” 

“Mom originally wanted me to buy a house on the other side of your development.  Your mother showed me your building to demonstrate that you didn’t need me or my money.  She suggested I bring my A-game when I met you.” 

“You did.” 

“I fucked up but I’ll do better in future.”

Despite the weirdness of…all of it, I wanted him and I wanted him to want me.  I wanted to know if we could work. 

Mom wouldn’t hesitate to weigh in if shit seemed like it was going sideways. 

I asked myself if I was being weak.  I decided a weak woman would run from Jack.  Make all kinds of assumptions and allow insecurity and fear to make her choices for her. 

I wasn’t weak and I deserved the right to get exactly what I wanted for a change.  I already knew Jack could provide it.

Fuck it.  Time to freefall.