Chapter 9
Now, here it is Thursday. I drove myself to work today knowing I would be leaving for my doctor's appointment, not wanting to be a burden on Mychal or his business.
Waiting in the doctor's office has always been the worst for me. Too much quiet, and too little to distract me. I sit there with my legs dangling, swinging my feet. The nurse just left from taking my vitals and asking the million and one health questions they ask at every appointment.
I wait.
I wait some more.
Dr. Mason, a petite lady, probably in her late forties to early fifties, finally arrives and apologizes. “Hi, Piper, sorry I'm late. We've been running a little behind since this morning.”
I smile, “Hi, no problem.”
She sits and opens her laptop to review the information the nurse has entered regarding my visit. “So, you are interested in birth control?”
“Yes.” I blush just enough for her take notice.
“No need to be embarrassed.” She winks and continues. “You are what...” she looks back to her laptop, “twenty-three now? I've been your doctor for at least ten years. Most of my patients inquire about birth control in their teens.” When I don't say anything, so she goes on. “There are a few options to choose from; have you researched any of them? I know you aren't a fan of shots.”
I clear my throat. “No, no shots. I was thinking of just trying the pill for now. I am really good with sticking to routine, so I don't think it should be too difficult for me to remember.”
“I agree.” She says. “Before I write the prescription, we need to go over a few things.” She explains the pros and cons of the pill, to make sure I'm of aware of all the risks and possible side effects. I try to absorb all the new information, although most of it is just a refresher because I really did do my research.
“Now, when is your period due?” She catches me off guard with her question.
“Uh,” I think for a moment. “In just over a week.” I finally respond.
“You won't start your pill until you start your period. I would suggest you take it in the morning and take it at the same time each day. So, if your period comes later in the day, I would suggest waiting until the following morning to take it. That being said, is there any possibility you could already be pregnant?”
“No... maybe... I don't know.” I stammer.
She looks at me inquisitively. “Talk to me. I'm your doctor. There is no reason for embarrassment, and anything you tell me will only be used for me to offer medical advice.” She says reassuringly.
I sigh. “I've known my boyfriend since I was a little girl, but we just recently got into a relationship... I had sex for the first-time last Friday. There was one time... just one time... that we were careless and didn't use a condom.”
“It happens. However, it only takes one time to get pregnant.”
“I know.” I say staring at the floor.
“Since you opted for the pill, you won't be starting it until you start your period anyway... but if you'd let me, I'd like to have blood drawn to do a pregnancy test that way, since it would be so early on. It would probably take till Monday for me to get the results back anyway.”
“Blood work? Can't I just pee in a cup or on a stick or something?”
She laughs. “I understand your fear of needles, but I don't really trust urine tests until after you’ve missed your period.”
“Okay.” I concede. “Dr. Mason?”
“Hmmm?” She asks as she types in what I assume is the order into her laptop... or a note that I'm a complete idiot.
“Do you really think I could be pregnant after just one time?”
She looks up before saying, “I can tell that you're scared. I will not say yes or no, I'm just going to say it is a possibility. Anytime you have sex without protection you take the risk of becoming pregnant... and contracting an STD; but, if you end up pregnant with an unplanned pregnancy, then we can discuss other options.”
Her statement has me confused. “What other options?”
“IF the situation were to arise, we could always discuss abor-”
“No. That would never be an option.” I cut her off before realizing what I've done. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. I understand why some women consider it, but for me... I just know I wouldn't.”
She smiles. “It's fine... and not something we really need to discuss right now anyway.”
Or ever.
“I will email your prescription to your pharmacy; you should be able to pick it up later today, so you have it on hand. I've ordered your blood work, and I'd like you to stop by the lab before leaving to have it drawn. As I said before, I should have your results back by Monday. If you are pregnant, you would be extremely early in the pregnancy which could still result in a false negative. So, even if this test comes back negative, if you don’t start your period, I suggest calling the office to retest, or at the very least taking a home test and then calling us if it should show a positive.”
I agree, trying to retain everything we've discussed.
I mindlessly walk to the lab and sign in. I don't have to wait long before I hear my name. I despise needles. I have to look away as they stick me with it, and it seems an eternity as they take blood from my vein. In all reality, it only took a few seconds and I know my fear is irrational.
My head is a mess as I get back into my car. It is just after three o'clock and I resolve to call, letting my boss know that I am not feeling well. I assure him I will be back to work in the morning even though with my assurance is unnecessary; everyone there knows I am not one to miss work.
The thought of possibly being pregnant has me feeling so confused. I drive back to my apartment, turn on my music, and sit on my bed with my laptop. I Google many articles, blogs, and websites regarding early pregnancy; any I can find. I obviously knew it was a possibility as soon as it was over; but it had not sunk in until hearing Dr. Mason lay it all out there.
How would Mychal truly feel if I were? Would he leave me? He loves me but we've not been together a full week yet. Would he consider abortion? I hope not, because I wouldn't... I couldn't. Is our relationship strong enough to survive something so monumental? I haven't got a clue.
When one of my favorite songs comes on, Kindly Calm Me Down by Meghan Trainor, I close my laptop. Shutting off my thoughts, feeling each and every word as I sing along. It has always struck deep for me. As someone suffering with anxiety and depression most of my life, the lyrics have so much meaning; I feel it in my soul. When the song comes to an end, I open my eyes, realizing I am no longer alone.
“Shit! Mychal!” I scream as I get off the bed. “I didn't know you had come in.”
Taking me into his arms, he kisses my forehead before saying, “That was quite a performance. I haven't heard you sing since you were in choir, back in high school. I hope I get to hear it more often. You have a beautiful voice.” I blush, and he continues. “You were really into that song? I've never heard it before but it seems to have some meaning behind it. Care to talk about it?”
I let out my breath but don't answer.
“Baby, talk to me? What's going on? I know you had your doctor's appointment a few hours ago. I've tried calling and texting, but you haven't answered. I thought maybe you were just busy catching back up at work; so, I dropped by to see you, when Tara informed me that you were out sick... I don’t like her by the way, and really hope you don't consider her a friend.”
“What?” I ask confused by his last remark. “Tara? What about her? No, she isn't my friend. She hates me, for some reason, and strives to make me miserable.”
“Well, that explains things.”
“Explains what?” I ask.
“I had to put her in her place. When she said you were out, I thanked her and started to leave; she stopped me, tried flirting with me, and made the insinuation she'd be happy to fill in for you.”
“WHAT!?” Now I’m pissed. All thoughts of my appointment are gone, replaced with rage. I grab my keys and head for the door when Mychal grabs my arm.
“Where are you going?”
“I'm going to kill her.” I say through gritted teeth. “She can fuck with me at work all she wants, but she will not try fucking with you, Mychal! I can't let her get away with that bullshit!”
“Baby, calm down. It's after six. Isn't the office closed now? Besides, I made it perfectly clear I am yours... only yours, and that I have no interest in her, or anyone but you. Whatever her issue is, it isn't worth losing your job.”
“It pisses me off, Mychal.” I say in defeat.
“I know it does. Now, will you please explain to me what was going on before all of that... what happened at your appointment? What made you pour your heart out into that song? And by the way, I will be that person you were singing about. I will be here for you... no matter what, Baby… always.”
His words sooth me, and with a sigh I sit on the edge of the bed and say, “She sent a prescription over for birth control pills.”
When I don't say anything right away, he sits on the bed with his back leaning against the headboard and motions for me to join him. Once he has me tucked into his side with my head on his shoulder, he encourages me to keep talking. “Well, that's what you went to see her for... but that doesn't explain what had you skipping out on work, coming home and ignoring your phone. What else happened while you were there?”
“She asked if there was any possibility… I could be pregnant, and it kind of made my thoughts go crazy. I mean, I knew there was a chance... obviously... but hearing her talk about it... it made it sink in, that it really could happen.”
“What did it make you think about?” He asks.
“Everything.” I say and then continue. “There are so many questions that are running through my mind. What if I am pregnant? How would you feel if I am? How would I feel if I am? Could our relationship possibly survive if I am? Would you still want me if I am? How could I possibly be a good mom? The list goes on and on.”
I don't realize I've started to cry until he brushes the tears from my cheek. “Hey, look at me.” When I look at him, he goes on. “I love you. I'm not going anywhere. If you are pregnant, I would be nervous, but I'd be here... every step of the way. It would be a part of the two of us, therefore it would have more love than anyone could ever want. I would still want you. I will always want you.” He kisses me on my head. “These are all just ifs at this point, because it was just one time. Yes, there is a possibility you could be pregnant, but there is no point stressing over it now, when we don't even know for sure. I have to know, why would you even question our relationship’s survival?”
“Because, Mychal, sure we've known each other forever, but we've been together for less than a week at this point. Can you honestly say your feelings won't change if a baby is brought into the equation?”
“Yes, I can. Piper, my feelings for you aren't going to change. Not because of a baby; not because of anything. I've finally got you and I'm never letting go.” He hugs me tighter to him; when he does it puts pressure on my arm where I had the blood drawn, and I wince. “What's wrong?” He asks concerned.
“Oh, nothing. My arm is just a little sore. They, um, drew some blood. Dr. Mason wanted to do a pregnancy test, and she said seems how it would be so early, if I were pregnant, using blood to test would be the most accurate. She should have the results Monday. She said it still could be too early to detect even through that, so if it comes back negative and I don't start my period I'm supposed to arrange another appointment or take a home test and call if it shows positive at that point.”
“When are you supposed to start your pill? I mean, you won't take it until you know for sure, will you?”
“No, I pick up the prescription just to have it ready. I won't take it until I start. And if I don't...” I let my statement trail off. “She did say if it comes back positive, if we'd be interested, she'd speak to us about our other options for unplanned pregnancy.”
At this, I feel his entire body tense before he clears his throat. “What did you tell her?”
“I told her there would be no reason, because abortion is not an option I would ever consider.”
He relaxes, releasing a breath I'm not sure even he is aware he was holding, “I love you. IF you are pregnant, the thought of you not wanting to keep our baby would kill me.”
I hold him tighter, relieved that he feels the same as I do. “I love you, Mychal.”
We sit there a while longer before he suggests we grab a bite to eat.
Kenzie and Tyler are in the living room watching a movie when we walk out. “Hey!” Kenzie shouts. “We have plenty of pizza... just grab your plates and drinks.”
Mychal looks at me, I shrug and laugh. We join them for pizza and a movie. It is a nice distraction.
Around ten o'clock, Mychal and I head back to my room. We have both accumulated enough toiletries at each other’s apartments we just decided to leave clothes as well, so we can stay wherever. Neither of us seem willing to spend a single night away from the other. I am completely fine with that. I sleep so much better in his arms.
The following morning, the first thing I do when I arrive is go to Tara. With her false smile plastered on her face she offers her greeting. “Well, good morning, Piper. I hope you are feeling better.”
I get right in her face. “I'm going to tell you this once, and only once, so I suggest you pay very close attention. YOU have made my life miserable since I started working here, and I take it all... not because I'm spineless or intimidated by you... but because I actually value my job. I do however draw the line when it comes to my personal life and my boyfriend! If you EVER try to cross that line again, you WILL regret it. I promise you will.”
I catch the look of shock on her face as I walk out of her cubicle and into mine. Feeling as though a weight has been lifted from me, I fire up my computer and get to work.