CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
As we’re leaving the store, I hear my phone ringing in my bag. I stop immediately and dig around until I find it. I look at Ty apologetically. “I have to grab this.”
He nods and takes my hand again, guiding me while I answer the call.
“Hi, it’s me,” I say. I have an attack of the sillies now that I’m finally talking to my sisters. I have so much to tell them. I’m holding hands with a rock star!
“Hi, Me,” Em says laughing. “You sound happy.”
“I might be.” I can’t give her details because the man behind my happiness is standing right next to me, guiding me toward a coffee shop.
“Yay! Tell me about it.”
“What’s going on with you guys?” I say, trying to direct her away from the subject of me and the crazy emotions that I can barely control.
“Well, we went and got you another plane ticket, but now I’m thinking that was a mistake.”
“Why?”
“Because I talked to Carol. It sounds like maybe you have other plans now?”
“I’m not sure. I really need to talk to you about it, but now is not exactly the time.”
Ty signals a time-out with his hands using a T formation.
“Hold on a second.” I put the phone off to the side. “What’s up?” I ask him.
“I’m going to run in here and grab us a couple drinks. Why don’t you sit down at the table there and talk to whoever that is?”
I nod and take a seat, not wanting to waste any more time. I watch as he walks into the café, mesmerized for a few moments by his sexy swagger, and then put the phone back to my ear.
“Okay. I’m back. I have a few minutes to talk in private.”
“Who are you with? Is it that Ty guy again?”
“Yes. He’s going into a café to get us some coffee.”
“Does he know you don’t drink the stuff?”
“No, probably not.” This is crazy. The lead guitarist for one of the hottest bands in the country is buying me a coffee I won’t drink in Manhattan. If someone had told me a month ago that this is what my life would look like, I would have told them to take another hit off their bong.
“Okay. So what’s the deal?” she asks.
“Is Rose there?”
“No. She still has that porcupine at the clinic. I guess he got hit by a car pretty bad. She’s waiting on the vet to show up.”
Standard-issue Rose emergency. “Okay, well, I may have already made up my mind, but I would really like to know your opinion anyway.”
“Okay, shoot. Tell me all the details, and I will be perfectly honest with you.”
“Okay . . . Where do I start? . . . This morning at breakfast, Red made me an offer. He wants to know if I can stick around here for a couple weeks and help them update their image a little bit.”
“That’s what Carol said. And how do you feel about it?”
How do I feel about it? When I try to concentrate on that question, my head starts to spin with what-ifs and wherefores. “I have mixed feelings.”
“I’ll bet. But which is the overriding feeling?”
“I don’t know . . .” I bite my lip hard. My pulse is racing. This is so nuts. I was supposed to come here, tell those men to screw off, and go home. Easy peasy, not so lemon squeezy.
“Yes, you do. Don’t be coy with me. I can hear it in your voice. I know you’re thinking something crazy. And you’re being silly. It has something to do with this Ty guy. Don’t pretend it doesn’t.”
“Fine.” I let out a long breath, blowing the air up into my hair. I’m sweating with nerves again. “I hate that you can read my mind like that.”
“I’ve been reading your mind since we were six months old.”
“I know, don’t remind me. Anyway, it’s true . . . He’s intriguing.”
“Is that all?”
“Well, he’s talented. He’s also pretty insightful. And he’s . . . a little tortured.”
“Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. So this guy is a tortured genius and you’re going to help solve all his problems.”
I lose my smile. “Don’t say it like that. That sounds mean.”
“I’m not being mean. But you are the solutions girl. Whenever there’s an issue, you’re the one who’s going to resolve it.”
“Is there a problem with that?” I don’t want to remind her that this is why I’m here in New York in the first place, dealing with all of our issues, and it’s also why I live on the farm instead of somewhere else.
“There’s nothing wrong with it at all, unless you run up against somebody who will take advantage of it.”
“What do you mean?” Her comment sounds ominous.
“What I mean is, I don’t know this guy Ty. Is he a good person? Maybe he sees that you’re somebody who can be taken advantage of.”
My heart sinks as her words penetrate and start to make sense. It is kind of strange that Ty was rude to me . . . until he found out exactly who I am and what I mean to the band. Could it be that he’s using me? Being nice to gain something for himself? I want to jump to his defense, because I really don’t think these things are true, but that wouldn’t be fair to my sister. She’s just telling me how it is, being dead honest, and I appreciate that.
“I know what you mean. But I don’t know.”
“What don’t you know?”
“I don’t know if this is a situation I need to avoid or one that was tailor-made for me.”
“Well, huh . . . Are you getting any vibes either way?”
The seed of doubt she planted has taken root. Why exactly is Ty holding my hand now? “I’m getting vibes, but I don’t know if I can trust them.”
“Because it’s coming from that guy, right?”
“Some of them, yes. We held hands, and I felt like I was in high school.”
“Except that we were homeschooled,” she says wryly. “So what does that even feel like?”
“You know how often we talked about high school and how cool it would be if we were walking down those halls and had a locker and a book bag. Believe me, my imagination was very vivid back in those days. I just knew what it would feel like to hold a boy’s hand and walk down the hallway with everyone watching.”
“Me too,” she says sadly. “I get it.” After a pause she continues. “You said some of the vibes were from him.”
“Yes. And the band, of course. I mean, I was supposed to come here and tell them off, but now I’m thinking about working with them? I know Red wants to talk to me about our lives and about our moms. I know I should just walk away from that, but he says there’s more to the story and I can’t help but be curious.”
“Of course you can’t. That’s totally natural. We’re curious too, Rose and I.”
This is part of the reason my sisters and I are so close; we suffered the same dreams lost or never realized, and we’re surrounded by the same history, upbringing, and outlook about the world. We get each other on a level no one else could. I’m so glad I’m talking to Em right now. She’ll help me make the right decision, untainted by silly girly emotions.
“When Red was talking about this job, my first instinct was to say no; but I think this is something I could do. I think it might be fun. And it’s only for two weeks.”
“Listen, you don’t need to sell me on it. It sounds like you want to do it, so I think you should.”
“But what if something goes bad with Ty?”
“What does it matter? It’s either going to go bad because you leave, or it’s going to go bad because something terrible happens between you and him because you’re there. But it could go well too. And he’s not the only reason you’re staying. He’s just a minor character in your world right now. The men in the band are part of our history, like it or not, and knowing our history might do you and us a lot of good. We won’t know until we hear it, though.”
“But I’ll only know what will happen with Ty or our fathers if I stay.”
“Yes. Only if you stay. So, how important is this guy to you? How much do you care about him?”
“I just met him. I don’t know if I care about him at all.”
“It sounds like you do, though. Even though you’ve only known him for a little while.” She’s mocking me, but I deserve it. I sound like a total wiener. Does that stop me from seeking validation? No.
“Maybe it’s because I’m that problem-solver person that you claim I am. Maybe I see that he has problems and I want to resolve them.”
“I don’t know. I think I was too hard on you earlier. We meet people with problems all the time, and you don’t try to solve them. You do it for people who intrigue you in some way or for people you care about. Does it mean you’re going to fall in love with Ty or he’s going to fall in love with you? Probably not. But you could have some fun in the meantime.”
“Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?” I smile. Now my mind is going places it probably shouldn’t.
“Hey, you’re a single woman in New York City. I hear that’s the place for romance. I don’t think you should have too many rules assigned to your situation. And even if there were rules, you should probably break them.”
“Maybe you could come up here and join me.” My fear is getting the better of me. Having one of my sisters by my side could make all the difference.
“Maybe another time,” she says, going a little cagey. “I’m in the middle of a project right now.”
“A project?” I get excited for her. “Are you painting again?” She hasn’t created anything in a long time. She only works when the spirit moves her, and it doesn’t move her very often anymore.
“I don’t know. Maybe. I think you going down to New York has really stirred some things up for me.”
“You are preaching to the choir, sister.” I laugh. Yes, our lives have become very stirred up, and nothing much has even happened yet. If I work for the band, will it get worse or better? Will I regret it? Will it be terrible enough to cause bad blood between myself and my mothers? I don’t believe that this could happen. I love those ladies more than life itself, and whatever I learn about their pasts is not going to change that fact. I feel like I’m about to embark on a journey of self-discovery, learning about how all these people made decisions that impacted the direction my life has gone in since the day I was born.
We sit for a moment in companionable silence. My mind wanders and only comes back when Em speaks. “So, what are you going to do, sister of mine?”
“I think I’m going to do it.” I nearly have a heart attack hearing myself say those words. “If it doesn’t work out, I can always quit and come home, right?”
“Yes,” she says cheerily. “Because this time I got you an open ticket, and all you have to do is go to the counter at the airport and show them your ID and you’re good.”
This feels like an amazingly good omen. “An open ticket? Is that even possible?”
“If you pay a little extra, it is.”
“I hope you didn’t use up too much of your savings.”
“What am I going to do with my savings? I never leave here.”
“You really should come down here sometime.” I look around the city, at all the people hustling and bustling. It’s starting to feel more familiar to me now. I’m not looking at it in disgust anymore; now I see . . . possibilities. “Manhattan really is something else. It’s electric. You can feel the energy humming all the time. It gets into your body.”
“Sounds completely nerve-racking.”
I laugh. “It is a bit at first, but you get used to it. It might actually be a little addictive.” My blood is racing at the idea that I could actually fit in here. I imagine myself as a big-city businesswoman and it makes me almost giddy with excitement. This is the perfect situation; I’m going to live this other life for two weeks. I’m not abandoning my family; I’m just here temporarily. I’ll be back at the farm in no time.
“I think I’ll be happy to just see some pictures and get a report about what’s happening once in a while,” Em says. “Will you keep us posted?”
“I will for sure. I guess I need to go talk to Lister and tell him what I’m thinking about doing, and see what he says. Maybe he’ll be a jerk again, and then I won’t want to work with them anymore and my problems will be solved.”
“And what are the chances of that?” she asks, laughing.
“I know, right?”
Ty opens the door with his elbow and comes out balancing two cups in his hands.
“I have to go; Ty is back.”
“Okay. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“Well, that doesn’t leave me with very many options, does it?”
She laughs. “Be good. I love you. And I’m going to tell Rose everything, okay?”
“Go ahead. And call me anytime you want.”
“I will. Love you, love you, love you. I’m so proud of you too.”
I pause for a minute before hanging up. “Proud of me? Why?”
“Because . . . you’re being bold and brave and beautiful. And I wish I could be more like you.”
“And I wish I could be more like you: artistic, sensitive, sweet, and kind.” I lower my voice to confessionary levels. “I have been so mean to people since I got here.”
“No, you haven’t. You’ve been standing up for what’s right, like you always do. I know who you are, and you don’t have a mean bone in your body.”
She makes my heart melt with her kindness. “Love you, sister.”
“Love you too.”
I fold up the phone and reach up to take the cup from Ty.
“I thought I remembered you don’t like coffee, so here’s a green tea.”
My heart goes as warm as the beverage in my hand.