Chapter Four

I woke the following morning feeling disoriented. Sunlight filtered in through my half-opened curtains, making me groan as my head pounded due to the brightness. I had definitely had too much punch to drink. Combine that with the fact that I had run into my childhood best friend and the previous evening left me reeling. I was feeling far more as though the night had been more a dream, one massive delusion, than real.

The throbbing at the base of my skull served as a reminder that it was indeed very real. I didn’t drag myself out of bed just yet. I had been smart enough to leave a glass of water on my bedside table so I eagerly gulped that down and then allowed my body to drift back into the welcoming abyss of sleep.

By the time I woke again, it was late afternoon. My headache had subsided for the most part. I jumped out of bed and made my way into the shower, washing the grogginess away off of my skin. After that, I went downstairs to make myself some food. My trusty bottle of whiskey was sitting on the kitchen counter. I picked it up and put it into the cupboard beneath the sink.

The last thing that I needed was a drink. Normally, I liked to wipe away all of my thoughts but that day, I wanted to remain clear-headed and lucid. There were so many thoughts racing through my head. While making myself a grilled cheese sandwich, my thoughts kept straying to the previous night. I know that if anyone were present to witness it, they probably would have made a passing comment or two on the fact that I kept smiling.

As I sat down to eat, I was filled with a more positive outlook on life than I had had in a while. For the past few years, my life had felt somewhat empty. I had not really known why and had mostly resorted to drinking it away and enjoying the beauty of a sunset each evening. For the first time in a long time, I was properly thinking about why that was. As it turned out, there were several factors which I could admit to causing my perspective to be less than sunshine and rainbows.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that I was unhappy, nor would I say that I was pessimistic or negative about the life that I lived. What I will say, however, is that my life may have felt unfulfilled. There had been a lot that I had wanted to do which had never come to fruition—the beginning of my own business was definitely one of those things.

The biggest thing that I was beginning to realize as the day went on was that I had had no idea just how much I had missed having my best friend around. I had other friends but the majority of them were colleagues more than anything else or otherwise people that I went to college with and only made the effort to catch up with every few months. Growing up, Roland and I had been incredibly social beings. Having seen my friend and workout buddy, Freddie, again had opened my mind to how different I had become. I had returned from college, gotten myself into a really good company, and given up on any of my other hobbies. I had even stopped running as often as I once had. The occasional jog on a Saturday morning was probably the only reason that I didn’t have a gut at my age.

As if I needed any further confirmation, I looked down at my belly. There was still room between the table and me in my seat. I was still lean, but that was mostly due to having a fast metabolism. I knew that it wouldn’t last forever. I poked my belly softly, a low chuckle escaping my mouth as the flesh pushed inwards the smallest amount. It bounced back when I removed my finger. I decided that the following morning I would wake early and take a jog—on a Sunday instead of a Saturday morning. The mere thought of that had me smiling.

I stood back up from the table, dropping my plate in the kitchen sink and filling a glass with water. I made my way upstairs as the sky outside began to darken, the gray of twilight setting in. I walked out onto my balcony, watching the last few rays of the sun begin to disappear on the horizon, bright orange and pink beneath a sea of midnight blue. The water tasted sweeter than it had in years, better than the heat of whiskey on my throat. It was refreshing, in many ways.

***

I was true to my promise to myself on Sunday morning. I hopped out of bed before the sun had begun to stream into my bedroom, pulled on my gym clothes and made my way out of the door. The run was refreshing, too. I couldn’t run as fast as I had in high school—I had made my way into college on a scholarship—but it was something to be able to be out on the streets, racing against the welcome wind that hit me as I moved. The thing that I had always loved about running was the freedom that it gave me. I felt like I could do anything when I ran, my heart was racing and my legs were burning but I didn’t even notice it. I lost myself to the motion, as natural as it had ever been, and I felt like a child again.

I had raced around the neighborhood and was practically dripping with sweat as I reached the bend that led me back down my street. I jogged the rest of the way, going at a much slower pace. I had not had such an intense run in many months and I knew that my legs were going to cry out in pain later on. I was okay with that.

Standing in my driveway, her eyebrows raised, was a beautiful brunette with pale skin. She was wearing jeans and a tank top today, the kind of attire I was used to seeing her in. She raised her eyebrows at the sight of me.

“Hey Alyssa,” I said. I was breathless from the run.

“Hey Lyle. What the heck are you doing? It’s Sunday.”

“I thought it was about time I got back into shape. Morning jogs are not just for Saturdays, you know.”

She smiled. “You could’ve fooled me. Has that not been your only workout for like, at least five years now?”

“Okay, yeah, but it never used to be, you know. I was on the track team, after all.”

“Fair enough,” she conceded. “That was a really long time ago, though.”

I walked past her and bent down to retrieve the key from inside the flower pot that stood next to my door. I unlocked the door and walked inside, beckoning her to follow me with an inclination of my head. She did, walking into the kitchen, her arms crossed over her chest. I shut the door behind her and walked over to the hallway where my linen cupboard stood, opening it and tugging out a fresh white towel. I used it to dry the sweat from my face and hair before wrapping it loosely around my neck. I desperately craved a shower.

“So, what can I help you with on this fine Sunday morning?” I asked.

“Well, I actually came to check on you to make sure you were all right but you seem to be in really good spirits?” It was meant to be a statement but she posed it more like it was a question. “Like, I haven’t seen you this bright eyed and bushy tailed in a really long time.”

I gave her a smile, shrugging. I went over to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

“Uh… Sure, I’ll have water too, please.”

“Cool.” I pulled out a second glass and started pouring Alyssa some water too.

I could feel her eyes on the back of my head. I wanted to laugh. Alyssa knew me far too well and I was beginning to feel really self-conscious. It was as if she would be able to see through my skull straight into my mind and read all of the thoughts that it was filled with. Irrationally, I started trying to think of anything but Roland. All that did was make me think of him even more, my belly twisting and doing somersaults at the memory of Friday evening. It was his birthday today. I thought that I should probably send him a message at the very least. I had not had the chance to wish him at the party since he had left so abruptly.

“Okay,” Alyssa started. I turned to face her again, handing her the glass and taking a sip from my own. “Seriously though. Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked.

“Well, I really didn’t know that you and Roland knew each other. I mean, I knew that he went to our high school but I never would have guessed that you guys were like, actual best friends. Freddie told me how you two used to do everything together when you guys were kids.”

“Yeah, that’s true. We were a package deal. You couldn’t have Roland without having me and vice versa. Everyone knew that.”

“So, what happened then? I mean, you had not seen him in such a long time that you didn’t even know who he was when I first brought him over to you at the party.”

“Why don’t we sit down?” I said. I walked out of the kitchen and over to the living room.

My living room was so rarely used that it looked practically brand new, which was great considering the upholstery was white. Since I rarely had any guests over, it looked as though I had only bought them yesterday. I took a seat in one of the arm chairs and Alyssa sat across from me on the sofa. She sat her glass down on the table and wrung her hands out. I could tell that she was nervous about something but I couldn’t understand why.

“I feel like I should be asking you if you’re okay, Ally.”

Alyssa looked up at me then, her eyes darting from my face and back down to the floor. “I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“You just seem a bit distracted is all? Did something happen?”

“Uh… You could say that, I guess. I don’t know. I’m quite confused.”

“So, is that the real reason you came here?”

She looked back up at me then. “Oh, no. No way. You just kind of reminded me of Friday and everything, which is weird because that’s why I came here. I just wanted to make sure that I didn’t drag up anything awkward or bad.” She was speaking so fast that her words were almost tumbling together but having known her for as long as I had, I was used to this when she was excited or nervous about something. “Freddie didn’t know why you two stopped hanging out or being friends or whatever, you see. So, I was kind of stressed. It was like, both of your birthdays so it was supposed to be a good thing and I just wanted to make sure that I didn’t make it a bad thing.”

I chuckled. “No, Alyssa. You didn’t make my birthday a bad thing. I had a really good night and you reunited me with an old friend.”

“Oh,” she said. She reached out for the glass on the table and took a sip from it. “So, you had a good time, then? You and Roland aren’t mad at me or anything like that?”

“Why would you think we’d be mad at you?” I asked.

Alyssa didn’t answer. She merely shrugged her slim shoulders. She looked oddly vulnerable for someone I knew to be a very outgoing person.

“I’m not mad at you. I’m actually really grateful.” I sipped my water. My heart rate had slowed down immensely since my run and I was breathing properly again. “In fact, you know how you told me that I’m more bright-eyed and bushy tailed than you have seen me in a long time? That would be thanks to your party, as far as I know.”

My friend’s face brightened up a great deal at that. She smiled, her perfect teeth coming into sight and her big eyes widening. “Really?”

“Oh, yeah. Of course, I can’t speak for Roland. You might have to go and ambush his Sunday morning after you’re done here.”

She blushed at that, pink crossing her already naturally rosy cheeks. “I would but he’s kind of getting settled and stuff. I know you way better. I figured you’d be in bed though.”

“Oh, so you were just going to wake me from a comfortable dream? That sounds like a great plan.”

“Shut up. It was with good intentions, you know.”

I laughed. After a moment’s silence, I moved from my arm chair to sit beside her. She was worrying me. Alyssa wasn’t a quiet person. “So, are you going to tell me what’s up?”

Her expression was suddenly sheepish. She glanced back down at her hands, wringing them out once again. “I really have no idea, at this point.”

“I would hug you but I’m kind of covered in sweat so I don’t feel like that’s an option. I could shower and let you think it all over for a while if that would help? We could go grab a bite to eat.”

Alyssa smiled gratefully and gave me a nod. “Yeah, okay. That sounds good to me.”

“Okay, cool. I’ll be right back in that case. Make yourself at home.”

I bounded up the stairs. As I peeled my sweaty clothes off, I was grateful for the escape. I wanted to be there for Alyssa but that was a bit difficult when I couldn’t even touch her and all I could think about was the fact that I reeked of body odor.