Anna

 

“Did you see that dress she’s wearing? Oh my God, it’s awful.”

“Who wears prints like that? You know she totally made it herself. And those worn out shoes, I mean, I get it, she’s a foster kid but seriously?”

“And she’s so nice all the time, you know it has to be fake.”

I continue to sit in the cold bathroom stall, crouched up on the closed toilet so that they can’t see my legs and my apparently offensive shoes. I look down at the scuffed-up canvas sneakers that I picked up at the thrift store when Dru and I went shopping this past weekend. I scrunch up my nose and try to see what’s wrong with them. Sure, they’re a bit worn but I considered them a lucky find. Up until now. I don’t have to peek through the cracks in the metal door to know that it’s Kayla and Danielle talking about me. They’ve never liked me and ever since Elle graduated last year they feel even less inclined to pretend to be nice. I wait patiently as they continue to talk about my clothes until they move on to Dru. They think she’s weird because she’s pretty but never goes to parties or on dates. Dru wouldn’t care about what they’re saying, and I shouldn’t either.

When I hear their footsteps and then the closing of the bathroom door, I hop down and open the stall door. I look in the mirror. I might not look like I just stepped out of the pages of Seventeen magazine, but my hair looks nice gathered up in a knot and my clothes are clean and fit me well. I smooth down my homemade dress and smile.

One day, none of this will matter. I have Esme and I have my sisters and one day I’ll have someone who loves me just the way I am.

My very own happily ever after.

I drop the blush coloured lip gloss I just smoothed over my lips back into the basket on the bathroom counter and reach for my gold hoop earrings. I’ve got my hair twisted up off my neck and my makeup on the side of natural. I slide in one earring and then the other, the edges of the memory I was currently reliving slipping back into the past. I run my palms down the navy-blue cocktail dress I’m wearing just as Sebastian pauses in the doorway and whistles. The dress is strapless with a lace bodice and a chiffon layered skirt that hits just above my knees.

“Mmm, you look good,” he says, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me back against his chest. “Maybe you should just stay here.”

“Tempting,” I say with a smile.

“You smell good too,” he says against the back of my shoulder. “What am I supposed to do while you’re gone?”

“I’m sure you’re capable of amusing yourself,” I laugh lightly.

His gaze meets mine in the mirror, the desire in his eyes nearly stealing the breath from my lungs. I’m falling. I’ve been falling. And it’s the most unexpected thing. I open my mouth to speak, a confession on the tip of my tongue when the clipping of nails along the hardwood floor interrupt me and I feel a cold little nose sniffing my leg.

I giggle as I bend down and pick up the puppy that Sebastian came home with the other day. We were supposed to go see a movie and when I opened his door to let him know that I was ready, this cute little thing came bounding around the corner, nearly tripping over his clumsy paws. Sebastian followed, holding a spray bottle and a wad of paper towel, looking very grumpy.

“Who’s this?” I ask.

“That, is an ungrateful roommate,” he says, pointing at the bundle in my arms. “He just peed all over my bedroom floor. For the second time.”

“Awww, you didn’t, did you? Oh no, you’re just a little cutie.”

“Don’t encourage him,” Sebastian scowls. “That is the last time I let some guy on the street convince me that I need a dog.”

I can’t help the laughter that bubbles up as Sebastian sulks. “And how exactly did he convince you?” I ask.

“He told me he was going to get put down, I can’t have a puppy murder on my conscience.”

We ended up staying in and watching a movie instead of going out. The next day we went shopping for puppy stuff.

 He wriggles in my hands and licks the side of my face.

“I think we should change his name to cock blocker,” Sebastian says, adjusting himself.

“He didn’t block anything,” I assure him. “I have to leave in five minutes and we both know that is not nearly enough time,” I grin wickedly.

“This is true. Come on Bruno,” he says, taking the lump of fur from my hands. “We’ve got manly stuff to do.”

He leans down and presses his lips firmly to mine, smudging my lip gloss. “I look forward to unwrapping you later,” he says against my lips. “And I am going to take my fucking time.”

“I can hardly wait,” I say back.

 

*

 

“So how are things going with Cal?” I ask Dru.

“Great, actually,” she says. “We’re taking it slow, we’ve met a couple times for coffee. I guess we’re just trying to get to know each other.”

When Dru’s birth mother passed away, we were all surprised to find out that she’d left the identity of Dru’s father with a social worker who was trying to help her turn her life around. It took a little bit of searching but Dru found him and they’ve recently struck up a budding relationship. He didn’t even know that Dru existed until she found him.

“That’s great,” Elle says.

“Yeah, I mean, I want him to meet everyone of course,” she says. “I just want to get to know him myself first, if that makes sense?”

“Of course it does,” I say. “And you know as soon as you’re ready to bring him around, Esme will insist on a family dinner.”

“I just, I never thought I’d meet him, it’s still a bit overwhelming I guess.”

“There’s no rush,” Elle says. “Take your time and when you’re ready let us know.”

We’re sitting in a quiet booth in a swanky restaurant uptown. Usually Dru protests such fancy places but Elle had already made the reservation, insisting that this place has the best cheesecake in the entire city.

“So, I have a bit of news,” Elle says, pausing for a moment and taking a sip of water. “I’m pregnant.”

“What?!”

“Oh my God!”

“I know,” she says beaming. “We were surprised, I mean we knew it would happen eventually, because we were trying…but we didn’t expect it to happen so quickly.”

Elle fills us in on her due date, which will be this winter and on how Blake has already purchased every pregnancy book in existence so that he can be prepared. I think it’s wonderful the way he dotes on her and judging by her beaming smile I think she’s okay with it too. 

“And you’re feeling okay?” I ask.

“Not too bad, the morning sickness is hit or miss and I’m pretty tired but otherwise, I feel good.”

“I’m happy for you,” Dru says, placing her hand on top of Elle’s.

“Thank you,” Elle says. “Oh God, now I’m going to cry, these hormones are crazy,” she laughs. “Tell me something that will distract me.”

“Ethan and I are moving in together,” Dru says.

“I think I’m falling in love with Sebastian,” I say, right after.

We look at each other and start laughing. Elle holds up her glass of water and taps it with her spoon. Dru and I lift our glasses of well.

“To new beginnings,” Elle says.

“Cheers,” Dru and I say together.

We finish our meal with a shared piece of the best cheesecake in the entire city, excitedly talking about baby names and house hunting.

“Are you going to tell him?” Dru asks.

“Tell the guy I’ve been dating for approximately two months that I’ve begun to fall ridiculously in love with him? I’m thinking no.”

“What? Why?” Elle asks.

“I nearly told him before I left tonight,” I acknowledge. I tell them about Bruno interrupting the moment and how I felt a bit relieved.

 “I just don’t want to rush it, you know? I mean, it’s no secret that he wasn’t exactly monogamous before we got together, and I don’t want to freak him out.”

“Well if he scares easy, he isn’t worth it,” Dru says pointedly.

“I know, and I will tell him,” I say. “I just, I want to wait. I know he cares about me and we’re exclusive. That’s enough for now. There’s no rush.”

“That makes sense,” Elle says.

“I have to admit, he does fit in nicely,” Dru says.

I brought Sebastian with me last weekend to Esme’s so he could officially meet everyone. He and Dru spent an hour talking in the living room and when Esme threw a tea towel at him and told him to start drying dishes, he flashed her a charming grin and told her he’d do anything for her. I swear she nearly melted into a puddle right there in the kitchen.

“I’ve never felt this way before,” I confess. “I don’t want to mess it up.”

“Tell him when you’re ready,” Elle says simply.

We finish our dessert and forego our usual night cap since Elle can hardly stifle her yawns. I still can’t believe her and Blake are going to have a baby. I’m still smiling about it when the cab pulls up to my building and I fish my phone out of my purse. It’s only just past ten so I know Sebastian will still be awake. I pay the driver and head upstairs, feeling the heated promise in Sebastian’s words to me earlier this evening. When I reach the landing, I decide to head straight over to his place. I raise my hand and knock lightly before I reach for the knob. The door opens and the smile on my lips crumbles instantly.

I take in the tall brunette in front of me. She’s wearing a tight black dress, her hair and makeup flawless. She’s got more than several inches on me in the tall red pumps she’s wearing and for a minute I hate that my first instinct is to compare myself to her.

“Can I help you?” she asks, arching a dark eyebrow.

“Is Sebastian here?” I ask over the lump in my throat.

“He’s in the shower,” she says smoothly. “Can I take a message?”

“You can just tell him that Anna stopped by.”

“Will do,” she smirks, closing the door in my face without a second thought.