David made good on dinner. And having dinner with David was like having dinner with any other guy. That was a lie. Having dinner with David wasn’t at all like anything I’d experienced before. He was…fun—unpretentious. The dip underneath his neck and above his collarbone was smooth and tan. I wanted to touch that spot, lick it. He didn’t seem to care if I was having a good time either, because he was having a good time, and he assumed I was lively enough to join him. He broke out into song at random times too, singing things instead of saying them. It could have been annoying but it wasn’t. The way his lips moved when he sang was sexy. He wore a plaid sport coat and grey pants that were rolled above his ankles. He opened doors and ordered the calamari. The conversation lagged while we ate and every few minutes he would glance up at me when I wasn’t looking. Was he studying my face? Wondering why he came? Perhaps I wasn’t what he thought. No. I pushed those feelings away. I was acting like this was the first time we were hanging out. We’d been spending time together for weeks, just not as a couple. I flinched at my own thoughts and David tilted his head to the side.
“What are you thinking about, English? Are you having a freak-out moment?”
“Yes,” I said. “Why are you grinning like that?”
“I like that I have the power to cause these freak-out moments.”
“Oh, shut up,” I said. “You’re ridiculous.”
But I was grinning too.
“When you play with your wineglass stem like that, Yara, it makes me kind of hard,” he said, between bites.
I blushed and pulled back my hand. My London best friend, Posey, used to say I had a habit of running my fingers along phallic looking objects. “It’s like you have a stroking obsession, Yara,” she’d say, shaking her head.
“I didn’t want you to stop,” he said. “I just felt like you should know.”
I laughed.
“Look,” he said after the server came around to fill our water glasses. “This place is boring the fuck out of me. We’re too young for this shit. Let’s eat fast and get out of here.” He leaned forward like he was going to tell me a secret. “And then, tacos later.”
“Yes,” I nodded. I pushed my halibut around on my plate, thinking about tacos.
We declined dessert and drained the last of our cocktails. When it was time to pay the bill, David was five dollars short and I loaned him the rest. He didn’t seem at all embarrassed by it, which made me like him more.
“I’ll buy you a restaurant one day to make up for this,” he said as we were leaving.
“I’d love that. I’ve always wanted to own a restaurant.”
“Oh, yeah? What kind?” He took my hand and immediately his thumb began running circles across my skin. I was silently thrilled. It felt so good to hold his hand.
“Something soft,” I told him.
He tilted his head to the side and made a face. I shrugged.
“Soft?” he repeated. “What does that even mean?”
“Soft lighting, food that melts on your tongue, brick walls, and muted colors. Some place that makes you feel good, you know?”
“Mmmm,” he said. “Sounds like you’re describing your vagina.”
I punched him in the arm and he pulled me close so that he could kiss me on the temple.
“We’ll get you that restaurant,” he said. “What will we name it?”
“IOU,” I joked.
“Oh my God, that’s perfect. What vision! What excellent marketing we can do for IOU.” He was being loud and enthusiastic, and I found myself getting caught up in it.
We launched into discussions of an ad campaign. By the time we reached my studio, David had composed a jingle for the commercial and we’d decided on some of the top menu items.
“Sing it again,” I asked him as I opened the door to my building.
He humored me, and the people lulling around the lobby of my building turned to look at us as we walked toward the elevators.
“They’re so hungry right now,” I told him. “Look at their faces.”
“They won’t be after they eat at IOU!” He said this loud enough for them to hear, and I flinched and laughed at the same time. We were good together on a few drinks, our inhibitions set aside. I was stiff the first time he spoke to me, it was a wonder he came back.
“What did you see the first time you came to the bar and saw me?”
“In you?” he asked.
“Yes, in me.”
“Well, you’re beautiful, Yara. You could be covered in shit, walking down the street mooing like a cow, and people would still think you’re beautiful.”
“But, they’d also think I’m a nutter.”
“That’s beside the point. You said nut,” he said. “There was just something. I looked and I knew. That’s not happened to me before, so I decided to explore it.”
By the time we reached my apartment, I felt better about my new boyfriend. Thank God I stopped for that bikini wax after the Market this morning.
David undressed me as soon as we walked through the door of my apartment. We didn’t even make it to the bed. We consummated our new relationship with ten wonderful minutes, during which he looked strained. He told me later that he tried to last longer but my body just pulled everything out of him.
“You’re like sexual magic,” he said.
“It’s always like that in the beginning,” I told him. “But then something changes.”
He was lying on the floor where we’d landed when we fell over naked and kissing. He propped his head up on his elbow and looked at me intently.
“What do you mean?”
I suddenly wished I could take back my words. I slumped down, turning my face to the front door and away from David. I sounded too cynical sometimes, that’s what Ann told me, what Posey my London best friend used to tell me.
“Come on,” he urged. “I want your thoughts, English.”
“All right.” I leaned up on my elbows and he reached out to caress my breast. So familiar.
“In the beginning of relationships, things are exciting. The sex is new, and the touches are new. You’re addicted to everything about the other person because it’s all fresh and untainted. Then monotony kicks in, the fighting about stupid things and the very same thing you found exciting becomes…irritating. Boring.”
“I call bullshit,” he said. “When you love someone nothing gets old.”
I wanted to laugh, but the sincerity in his eyes choked off my humor. Who was I to take this boy’s belief? Someone else would take it eventually, and then he’d know, but until then he had to learn the hard way. I lay back down on the hard floor and stared at the ceiling. It was one of those popcorn ceilings that looked like a skin disease. I’d never lain on my back in bed because I didn’t want the popcorn skin disease ceiling to be the last thing I saw before I fell asleep.
“Why do you like being a bartender?” he asked.
I blew air out through my pursed lips. How did I explain something like that? I had a degree in hospitality management, and yet I had no desire to leave the bar for a more prestigious role in the restaurant business. I’d been offered all sorts of positions and had turned each one down.
“I like the way the bar sounds,” I said. “The tinkling of ice in a glass, the smell of the liquor, the foam the soda gun leaves on top of a drink. It’s all soothing. You can come to work and there’s a formula for what people need. Not to mention the people. I like to watch them, listen to their lives without being involved in their lives. They’re like friends but without the hassle.”
David was laughing. He held his naked belly he laughed so hard.
“You have the personality of an artist, you know that?”
“No way,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t have an artistic bone in my body.”
“Sure you do. You just haven’t found it yet.” He said it with so much conviction I started to consider all the hidden talents I might have.
“One day you’ll wake up and want to make something. Mark my words. Maybe it’ll be a painting, or maybe it’ll be a baby with me.” He shrugged. I punched his arm and he rolled on top of me, my shoulder blades digging into the wood floor. “I know what we could make right now,” he said, kissing my chin. I lifted my head so he had access to my neck.
“We could make—”
I shoved a hand over his mouth so he couldn’t say the words. “Don’t,” I warned him. “We are not a cheesy eighties movie.”
He started to sing “I’ll Make Love to You” by Boyz II Men while I cringed and tried to roll out from underneath him, but in the end, he kissed me so well I lost the will to escape.