Somehow, in the space of half an hour, I had managed to fall asleep.

“Jane, Jane, earth to Jane. Wake up. Your surprise is here. Hello lovely girl.” A voice called out from the distance. My eyes drifted open and I screamed out in shock. Danielle had her face right in front of mine.

“Geez, don’t do that to me. You’re going to give me a heart attack. Did I fall asleep?”

“You sure did. Such a lightweight. One cocktail and you’re out. Come now sleepy head, look around. Look at everything that you’ve missed out on while you’ve been away in la la land.” She signalled around her.

I looked around and was surprised to see that the outside section had been transformed in what looked to be a spa of some sorts. There were beds, towels, and something that looked to be a changing room. There was also a lady standing there staring at them. The lady was gorgeous and looked like she had stepped straight out of a magazine cover.

“Okay, how the heck did I sleep through all of this and what is going on?” I was incredulous. I must’ve really needed that nap. And I must say, that even though it was only half an hour, I suddenly felt good.

“Welcome to your very own spray tanning session, with the wonderful Miss Marian.” With that the lady bowed down.

“A spray tanning session? That’s my surprise? Oh I don’t need to do that. You don’t need to do that either. Look at you. You are already so brown.” I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful but I really wasn’t a fan of self-tanning. I never had been. Which would possibly explain my translucent skin.

“Yes, but I have to keep it looking golden brown. Trust me, it fades so easily. And I refuse to use a tanning bed. Those things are so bad for your health. I cannot tell you the amount of horror stories that I have heard from people who have used those things. Remind me later to show you a list of statistics that I have about it.”

“You have a list of statistics about tanning beds? Now who’s the nerdy one. But seriously, you go, I’ll just watch. I’m more than happy here in the sun. The sun is just what I need. After all, isn’t that the most natural way to go brown?” I thought I had her there, but of course she was always one ahead of me.

“Yeah the sun is great. Unless you’re people like us. And not to be rude, but when I say us I really mean you.”

“What do you mean? What’s wrong with me?”

“I’ve seen your skin in the sun before. You don’t go brown. You go red. Then you go all blistery. Then you peel. You don’t go brown. Come on, I’ve known you long enough now. Be honest with yourself.”

I sighed. “You got me there. I never go brown. And admittedly, I’ve always been a bit jealous of your sheen.”

“My sheen? You make me sound like a dog. Now come on, strip off, we don’t have all day. You deserve a little bit of tender loving care.”

“Uh… can you go first? I’m still half asleep.”

“No problemo!”

The truth was that I felt a bit shy suddenly getting undressed out in the open. I’m not sure why because Danielle had seen my naked body many times before and she had seen me through many different stages in my life. And Miss Marian had probably seen a hundred naked bodies before and I’m sure seeing mine was not going to bother her in the slightest. But still, I felt weird. Instead I watched as Danielle took her clothes off with ease and stepped into the tanning booth while giving me a big thumbs up and a massive grin. She was in her element here. Watching her I suddenly wished that I had chosen to go first and I was so grateful that there was nobody else around but the three of us. Danielle was beautiful and she had the type of confidence that just made her even more beautiful than she was. She was wagging her bum at me now and making me laugh but I couldn’t help but think what a nice bum she had and how white and unimpressive mine was going to look after this show. Danielle had a beautiful backside, as one of her ex-boyfriends had once described – which she said made up for her lack of boobs. But her small boobs suited her. She was tall and lanky and big breasts would’ve only weighed her down. She was all elegance and sophistication. Everything that I was not.

“Okay, your turn now. You’re going to love it. Trust me. Soon, you’ll be wanting to do this every week” She said and came out to sit on the lounger.

“Oh I doubt that!” I was not into things like this and she should know it.

But she just laughed. “Oh trust me, you might not think you’ll like it. But you will. At least, you’ll like the way you look afterwards and you’ll never want to go back to that pale skin again. Miss Marian, make her beautiful.”

“What? So I’m not beautiful already? You’re meant to be my best friend. You’re meant to tell me that I’m already the most beautiful woman in the world even if it’s not true. You cut me deep Danielle. You cut me deep.”

“You ARE the most beautiful snowman in the world. But if you want to become the most beautiful woman in the world you’ll have to get a bit of color on you.” She laughed at that as if she had just told the funniest joke in the world and I tried not to laugh back.

“Fine fine. I’m going in.” I took off my clothes and stepped inside, completely aware that both Danielle and Miss Marian could now see me naked. As Miss Marian started spraying me I suddenly felt emboldened by this nakedness and for a brief moment I felt free. Looking down I was glad that I had taken Danielle’s advice to get a Brazilian wax – because this moment right now would not have been pleasant the way I had looked a few weeks ago. It had been my very first Brazilian wax and I had been petrified. I had even told the ladies behind the counter and they had laughed at me, telling me that they had many clients still that came in for the first time and that there was nothing to be worried or ashamed of. I told them that I wasn’t ashamed at all but more frightened by the thought of the pain that as about to come my way. Again they told me that it was not going to be painful and that even if it was it would still be worth it. And they had been right. I had never thought something like that would make a difference to me and yet it had given me a strange and quiet confidence about myself that I never had before. As the cool spray hit my body I noticed how smooth it felt where they had done the Brazilian wax. A shiver formed up my spine at the sensation and I realized that despite being naked in front of strangers, I actually felt sexy. If only there was a man standing in front of me and not two girls.

“You know what, Jane?” Danielle said while watching me, “That asshole Justin doesn’t know what he’s missing out on here. You would’ve been his happily ever after. Now, he will always regret what he did and he will always wish that he had stayed with you. Guys like that will just never be happy with anything. They could be with the most gorgeous model in the world who also has a great personality and they’ll still look somewhere else. Those are guys that just always want more and more and more. And they are not worth the time and effort. Don’t you ever think that you were the reason he left you. HE was the reason. You really are beautiful my friend and I mean it. I’m saying it to you while you are naked in front of me. I must be telling the truth!”

“Thanks Danielle. You know what, I agree with you about Justin. He is an asshole.” It felt good to hear those words coming out of my mouth.

“That’s it! Say it again. But say it loud.”

“JUSTIN IS AN ASSHOLE.” It felt even more invigorating screaming this while completely naked. I’m not sure why. It just did. I laughed and threw Danielle a grateful smile.

“So, on that note. How about you start looking for someone that’s not an asshole. A gentleman. A real man. I have just the man for you. He’s everything that Justin isn’t. And I know you thought that Justin was gorgeous, but trust me, this guy is even better looking. And to go with the looks comes a sparkly and shiny personality. Just what you need and deserve.”

“Thanks Danielle. But I’m going to say no. I’m sure you’re not surprised at all at. But it’s not because I’m anti-men. Well, maybe I am a little. But I won’t be forever. I just need a bit of time to be myself. To figure out who I am as a person. I was with Justin for a very long time. Years of my life wasted on that idiot. And in that time I have completely forgotten about who I am as a person. What I want. I’ll be honest, I actually have no idea who Jane Griener even is. If you had to ask me I could only tell you that I’m a 26 year old female with a bachelor’s degree in Communication and MBA and that I’m particular good with social media and company branding. I can tell you that I have curves in places I like and curves in places that I don’t like. I can tell you that I have light brown hair and light brown eyes and that I hate how everything is just light brown and nothing else. How I wish my hair flowed down to my legs rather than just cutting short just above my shoulders. How I hate that I’m not taller. I can tell you all these things. But you already know that. And a stranger talking to me would pick all that up within minutes. That’s because that’s not all that I am. But I don’t know what that is anymore. I don’t know who I am. I need this time to just be me.”

There was silence after that. My spray tan was finished and I was standing in the booth just staring into space. Danielle was looking down at her feet. Then she looked up and smiled.

“I’m proud of you Jane. This is your time.”

And standing there, completely unclothed and free for the first time in a long time, I knew that she was right. This was my time!