I’ve never given having a baby much thought. I mean, there were those scares early on when I was just starting my business. A girl I had a one-night stand with thought she might be pregnant. And my ex-wife. But they turned out to be nothing. Just a period that was a few days late. Those were the longest days of my life though. And as much as I knew that I would have to step up and be a father, I also realized that there was no way in hell I could be one. I would pay alimony - a lot of alimony - but that was all I could offer them. Maybe an occasional visit. Man was I happy that those scares never really materialized into anything.

And today? Well, today, hearing about Ellie? A part of me was terrified that I would feel the same way. I never grew up around many kids, let alone babies. So, the thought of having one myself, one that belongs to me, scared the hell out of me. But when Ellie came out and said that she was pregnant and that I wouldn’t have to participate if I didn’t want to, well, it just felt wrong. I don’t know if this is just me being older or the fact that I’m with Ellie, but the stars seemed to have aligned. Suddenly, I’m just not scared. I’m actually excited. I’m looking forward to it. That is if she decides to have it.

It’s Ellie’s decision after all. And I’m okay with it. There’s no way I want to bring a child into this world whose mother isn’t happy to have him or her. There are way too many unwanted children as it is and there’s nothing really worse than for a child to grow up unloved - even though it happens all too often.

Ellie runs past me to throw up in the bathroom, again. I want to hold up her hair and help her in any way I can, but she won’t let me. She doesn’t want me to see her “like that.” Silly girl. Little does she know that I’m in love with her, every last gross bit of her. And no amount of disgusting excrement that comes out of her will change any of it.

“Can you not be here?” she says as I stand next to the bathroom door asking how she’s feeling for the millionth time.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

I walk away and sit down on her bed. I check my emails on my phone when I hear her call my name.

“Yeah?” I get up to walk over.

“Don’t come over.”

“Okay…So, why are you calling me?”

“Because, I just wanted to say that I’ve decided what I’m going to do!” she yells and throws up again.

My heart sinks. This can’t be good. No wise decisions were ever made with someone’s head in the toilet.

“I’m going to keep it,” Ellie says. “We’re going to have a baby!”

I can’t believe my ears. I run into the bathroom and wrap my arms around her. She tries to push me away, but I don’t let her.

“I love you,” I whisper, holding her hair back.

“I love you,” she manages to say.

* * *

I call off work for the afternoon and spend it in bed with her. It’s not exactly as romantic of a time as we’ve previously had, but it’s special in its own way. I stroke her hair as we watch an episode of The Office and laugh.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” Ellie says as one episode ends and the next one starts. “And thank you for…being you.”

“Thank you for being you,” I whisper.

“Oh, man, can we get any more sappy?” she jokes.

“Yes,” I say after a moment. “I could ask you to marry me again.”

She looks up at me, not sure if I’m joking. I am, but only partly.

“Will you marry me, Ellie?” I ask.

“Are you serious?” she asks. I nod.

“Oh, c’mon, Aiden.” Ellie gets up. “Why did you have to ask me when I have vomit on my shirt?”

“Because I don’t care. And from the looks of it, this phase in your pregnancy might last well into the next one, which will also involve a lot of vomit on your shirt.”

“What do you mean?”

“The baby? They’re known to spit up once in a while, too.”

Ellie shakes her head.

“Okay, if you don’t like this, that’s fine. I’ll ask you again. Later. In a more romantic setting.”

Ellie looks away from me. For a few minutes no one says a word. Suddenly, it occurs to me that I have made a terrible mistake. Women don’t like things like this. They like drama and pomp. They like to celebrate important moments in their lives in heels and tight dresses instead of sweatshirts and dirty hair. Fuck.

“I really messed up, didn’t I?” I ask.

She doesn’t respond. I put my hand on her shoulder and turn her to face me. That’s when I see the tears running down her face.

“What’s wrong? Ellie? I’m so sorry,” I whisper.

“No, nothing’s wrong. Nothing at all,” she mumbles through the tears.

I stare at her, not quite sure of what to say next.

“You are just so…wonderful. I really don’t deserve you, Aiden Black.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Here I am wearing my pajamas. I just threw up about a billion times and I’m not wearing a smidge of makeup. And what do you do? You ask me to marry you.”

“That’s because you’re the most beautiful woman in the world and I’m in love with you.”

My words bring tears to her eyes.

“So, what do you say?” I ask after a moment.

“I don’t want to just get married because I’m pregnant,” she says.

“That’s not why I’m asking you. I’ve asked you before, if you remember.”

Of course, she remembers. Ellie stares out in the distance. Does she really want to marry me? Is this the right thing to do?

“Yes,” she finally says. “I will marry you.”

“Oh, Ellie,” I say, wrapping her arms around me. “I love you.”

I press my lips onto hers and the world outside stops spinning. Nothing else matters except for this moment.

I wrap my hands around her breasts and enjoy the plumpness. Then I run my tongue down her neck and along her collarbone. She tilts her head back with pleasure, exposing more of her neck. I pull her shirt over her head and take off her bra. I press her nipples in between my teeth and bite down slightly. She moans with pleasure.

I push her down on the bed and pull off her pants and panties. Then I take off my shirt and drop my pants, along with my boxer shorts. She licks her lips as I climb on top of her. I lick her nipples again and quickly make my way down her body. I pause briefly at her belly button and admire her body as she arches her back. But I keep heading south. I run my tongue along her non-existent panty line. Her hipbones come up to meet my lips and kiss them as well. Her legs open up on their own and I make my way down in between her thighs. Once she’s lying bare before me, I can’t contain myself anymore. I have to have her. I spread her thighs and thrust my tongue deep within her. She moans with pleasure and I press my fingers on her clit. Then I start to massage her and she starts to moan louder. When she is getting close, I push myself up and push my penis inside of her.

“Oh, Aiden!” Ellie yells into my ear. I thrust in and out of her faster and faster. She yells my name even louder and a wave of ecstasy courses through my body. It comes sooner than I had planned, but I ride the wave anyway. There’s no turning back now.

“Oh, Ellie,” I moan and collapse on top of her.