Nitro

Austin, Texas

After taking a deep drink of my ice cold beer, I turned to my club brothers with a grin.

“Damn, that’s a nice brew.”

I was drinking a smooth pale ale from a local microbrewery here in Austin, and it tasted good enough that it had me instantly thinking about how I could get the stuff into Styxx, the bar I ran for my club, the Charon MC, back in Bridgewater.

“Sure is. Tell me, boys, is there anything better than a nice cold beer after a long day’s ride?”

In his late fifties, Bulldog was the oldest of the brothers who had come on this run, and the club’s VP. Tiny was the youngest at twenty-nine, while Bank and I were in our thirties. I’m sure we made an odd looking group with such a broad range of ages, but we were all wearing our club colors and looked rough as hell after spending the last four days on the road, so I guess we didn’t look all that different really. I scratched at the scruff growing over my jaw as I focused for a moment on Tiny’s full beard, wondering if I should grow mine out further.

For most of my life I’d kept my face clean shaven, but these last few months I’d found myself letting my scruff grow out more often than not. It wasn’t like I had an old lady at home who cared one way or the other, and the club whores didn’t give a shit what a brother looked like. The sweet face of the only woman I’d ever truly wanted for an old lady flashed through my mind. It left me wincing and rushing to reach for my beer so I could take a large gulp. Refocusing on my brew, I pushed the memories of her back into the vault where I kept them locked down. I wasn’t that love sick, foolish teenager anymore and I hadn’t seen or heard from her since the day she vanished from my life all those years ago.

“Well, I’d say a warm bed with my old lady in it would be better, but since that ain’t happening this evening, a cold brew ain’t a bad way to end a day of riding.”

Tiny’s comment gave me the distraction I needed to push past the melancholy thinking about her had caused and I laughed easily with the others at his remarks. He and his old lady, Mercedes, only hooked up about five months ago, so were still in the fuck-like-bunnies stage of things. Kinda envied the man that. Mercedes was a good woman.

“Give me a nice cold drink any day of the week, brother.”

I hid my grimace behind my glass as I took another mouthful. That was Bank for you, bringing the mood down several notches with one line. The whole club knew his and his woman’s relationship was a train wreck waiting to happen. I swore those two spent more time fighting than lovin’, so it didn’t really surprise me he’d prefer liquor to her. Still, none of us ever knew what the fuck to say to him when he dropped comments like he’d just made, so as per usual, I changed the damn subject and hoped he didn’t bring it back up.

Lifting my glass, I looked to Bulldog. “What do you think about getting this one in at Styxx?”

Bulldog gave me a serious nod. “I think it would be a good move. Maybe bring in a few different craft beers from around the area. Microbreweries seem to be all the fucking rage at the moment. Might as well cash in on it, if we can.”

“My thoughts exactly, and I’ve been thinking on this shit for a while now. Actually, I’ve been thinking about a few different things we could try. Like adding a beer garden to Styxx. Have somewhere outside where folks can sit and relax with a drink.”

Bulldog’s jaw clenched a moment, which I knew meant he was giving the idea some serious thought, before he gave me another nod. “Yeah, I like the sound of that. Cost that shit out and bring it to church so we can get it moving. The parking lot out back is bigger than we need, so we have the space.”

Loud laughter had me turning in my seat to see a group of women who’d just entered the bar. Everything within me froze as my gaze caught on one of them in particular, dressed like a retro pin-up. She wore a high-waisted, skin-tight red skirt that went just below her knees with a slit that went about halfway up the middle of the front, giving me a glimpse of her stocking clad thighs with every step she took. Her top was an equally tight, black button-up shirt that showed plenty of cleavage. It also revealed arms that were heavily inked. Quite simply, she was the hottest woman I’d ever seen. And she seemed vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t think where I would have met her before.

Trying to place where I knew her from, I kept my gaze on her as she moved with her group up to the bar, and closer to where we sat in a back booth in the shadows. The low lights over the bar were brighter than elsewhere in the place and when they shone on her, it reflected on the glossy sheen of her chestnut brown hair, making it stand out almost as much as the ink on her arms. Her face swung my way and the breath caught in my throat as I knew exactly who she was.

“Fuck it all.”

It must have been nearly twenty years now, since I’d last laid eyes on Cindy, but those blue-gray eyes, those high cheekbones and that sexy as fuck mouth of hers were ingrained in my memory. I scrubbed a hand over my face, trying to get my brain to fucking function properly. Could it really be her? Surely it was just my imagination playing with me because I’d been thinking about her earlier.

“Well, now, those ladies look like a whole lot of trouble.”

Bulldog’s words had me looking back over at her. She’d always been trouble. In the best possible way. I doubted that had changed.

“That brunette in the blue shirt looks like the bird off that old ‘We can do it’ poster, don’t you think?”

“I’m guessing that was the look she was aiming for. Wonder why they’re all dressed up like they are.”

At Bank’s and Bulldog’s comments, I forced my focus from the woman who’d once been the center of my entire fucking universe, taking in the group she was with. There were about a dozen ladies with her and a couple men. A few of the other girls were dressed like her in retro shit, a couple in goth-punk looking outfits, a few others in hippy shit and then a handful of chicks, and the men, that were dressed in normal shit like jeans and shirts. One of the girls was indeed dressed just like a 1940s mechanic, in a pair of short-sleeve, fitted blue overalls. Her dark hair was up with a red bandana wrapped around it.

They were an interesting mix, that’s for sure. I frowned when one of the women draped her arm casually over Cindy’s shoulders. They were a very affectionate group, too. There was a lot of touching going on between them. Nothing overly sexual, thank fuck, but it was more than I’d ever seen within a group of women. Cindy had needed a lot of hands-on affection as a teen, but that had always been my fucking job. Not her friends’.

“Did you just growl?”

Fuck. Had I?

“Just clearing my throat, brother.”

Tiny chuckled before slapping my shoulder. “Brother, you can take as many of them as you like. You don’t need to get all growly about it when you’re the only single man standing, buddy.”

“It ain’t like that. The chick in the red skirt? I think that’s a girl I knew back in school. She was mine, then one day she was fucking gone. I haven’t seen her since.”

That was greeted by silence. Great. Why the fuck did I just admit all that to my brothers? They’d tell the others and I’d be hearing about it for fucking months. Nothing spread quite like a rumor in an MC did. Especially if the old ladies got wind of it.

Bulldog cleared his throat. “She the reason you came to us in the first place?”

“Yeah.”

I didn’t need to say more. Bulldog had been there when I’d first started hanging around the club. I’d been nothing but an eighteen-year-old kid, full of rage and aggression. It had been Bulldog, Scout and a few of the others who, after finding out I was about to fuck up my chances at getting into the SEALs, pulled me aside and got me thinking more clearly. They’d helped me train and get ready, and despite the fact the recruiter had me pegged to fail BUD/S, I passed with flying colors. The club had also forced me to come clean with what had happened to fuck me up before they’d agree to help me. So Bulldog knew precisely who Cindy was to me.

“Looks like she’s heading back to the bathrooms. Why don’t you go have a chat with her where there’s some privacy? Clear the air, if nothing else. We’ve got your back.”

After giving my brothers a quick nod, I drained the rest of my beer and after knocking my knuckles on the table, I got up and headed after her. By the time I got to the hallway outside the ladies’ bathroom, my palms were sweaty and my heart was beating a mile a minute. What the fuck should I say? Was it really her? Would she remember me?

Before I could plan out anything, she pushed through the door and my world narrowed down to just her. Taking her in, I wiped my palms on my jeans, and tried to prepare for her reaction to seeing me. Because now I was this close, I knew it was her. She hadn’t changed that much over the years. Sure, she’d filled out some, gotten curvier, sexier. But her face, her hair, that was the same. And I was dying to touch her again.

“Hey, Cin. It’s been a long time, huh, babe?”

Cindy

With my head down, it wasn’t until I heard a throat clearing that I realized I wasn’t alone in the hallway. Then he’d spoken. That voice. That rough, familiar voice of his shot straight down my spine, just like it always had. The shock of hearing it again after so long had me stumbling, but he didn’t let me fall. Nope, Jonathan Harris had never once let me fall. Even when I’d begged him to let me go, he’d refused, forcing me to make the choice to leave my home and Bridgewater when I’d been seventeen to keep us both safe.

I couldn’t hold in the gasp that slipped free when his warm, callused palms wrapped around my bare biceps, keeping me on my feet. My eyes slid shut as memories of our time together bombarded my senses. I’d had a crush on Johnny since my first week as a freshman, but it wasn’t until I’d been a sophomore that he’d finally noticed me. But the wait had been worth it. He’d been such an attentive and patient boyfriend. From the moment we connected, he only had eyes for me and was always so sweet and protective. We’d dated for nearly a full year before we took it further and I gave him my virginity.

We’d had it all.

Then we didn’t.

The beginning of the end was the day after my parents were seriously injured in a car crash, when I’d received the first threat. I’d found it in our mailbox after I’d returned from visiting my parents in the hospital. A rough, hand-written note, claiming responsibility for the accident and telling me worse would happen if I didn’t cut all ties with Johnny.

I’d only been sixteen fucking years old, and suddenly forced to deal with shit a teenage girl shouldn’t have to. Mom had only suffered a broken arm and a concussion from the wreck, but Dad had nearly died from his various injuries. He’d ended up having to stay in the hospital for weeks. From the get-go, Mom had been preoccupied with recovering herself and caring for Dad. That resulted in her not taking the letter I’d received seriously. She’d told me the crash had been an accident. When Dad swerved to miss a feral pig that had run out in front of them, their car had left the road and ended up running into a tree. Not really seeing how someone could have created the accident, I believed Mom and followed her advice to simply ignore it. That, and I didn’t want to break up with Johnny. He was always so damn sweet with me, making sure I’d eaten and had a ride to school each day. The last thing I’d wanted to do was push him away. I wanted him as close as I could get him.

I’d found the second letter in my locker at school a few days later. That one had made it very clear that whoever was writing them was really angry with me. Apparently, since I’d not been listening and being a bad girl, I’d needed to be taught a lesson. I’d gotten home from school that afternoon to find my sweet cat, Whiskers, dead on the front lawn. He’d been hit by a car and just left there for me to find.

Even then, Mom still didn’t take the threats seriously, and neither did the police. When I’d taken the letters in, they’d told me it was nothing but some kid in my class claiming the accidents for their own to upset me. Cats got run over all the time, apparently. But I’d been so damn scared of what this nut-job would do next, I’d done the only thing I could at the time. I gave in. I’d broken up with Johnny―well, I’d tried to. He’d assumed I’d been just overwhelmed with everything and not thinking clearly, so he’d told me he’d back off but he wasn’t going anywhere. So I’d then done what teenagers do best when they found themselves backed into a corner. I ran.

“Ah, fuck. Cin, are you okay? I didn’t mean to scare you.”

I melted a little more at him calling me Cin. Everyone else called me Cindy. One of his palms stayed on my bicep, while the other slid up until it was wrapped around the back of my neck, then his thumb began to stroke the side of my throat. Just like he used to do back in school right before he’d kiss me.

Reality came crashing down. I couldn’t afford to get close to Johnny, my stalker would find out and make me pay. Or him. Twisting out of his grip, I quickly glanced up and down the hallway, searching for people in the darkness who might be watching us. There were two men at the end of the hallway with their backs turned to us but that didn’t mean they weren’t watching. I had no idea who my stalker was, even all these years later, so I had no idea who to watch out for. Before I could make my getaway, Johnny’s hand shackled my wrist.

“Let me go, Johnny. I need to get out of here.”

“Whoa. Stop right there. Why are you so fucking scared? It can’t be me. I’d never hurt you, you know that. Is someone threatening you? Tell me who and I’ll deal with the fucker.”

Tears pricked my eyes at his words. Always so fucking protective. It would be easy to cave in to him, but then what? The last time I’d dared to test if my stalker was still watching, I’d gone out to dinner with a man. I woke the next morning to discover my car had been keyed down the entire length of both sides, and I’d received another note. I’d reported the damage to the police, who still didn’t take it seriously. Whoever it was hadn’t done anything to harm me, and my car apparently could have been damaged by accident. Just like back in school when both Mom and the police wrote it all off without a second thought. I hadn’t even bothered to tell them about the note.

Although, I think the reason the police brushed it off then was because of my involvement with Her Royal Hellions, the roller derby team I was a member of. We had a bit of a reputation for being wild and rough, which apparently meant we didn’t get to be included under the protection of the men in blue. So after that incident, I’d decided I wouldn’t bother telling anyone at all about anything else my stalker did. Clearly, no one was ever going to believe me, so why bother. I also decided it was simply easier, and safer, to stay single. Even if I did get so fucking lonely being on my own all the time.

Blinking away the moisture gathering in my eyes, I kept scanning the hallway.

“I-” Fuck, I wanted to lie. To tell him I barely remembered him, that he should go away and leave me alone, but my tongue refused to form the words. Maybe it was the hard glint in his eyes, so much like the Doms I saw at the BDSM club, Titanium, where I tended the bar, that had me trembling as my heart fought against my mind on what the hell I should do.

“This is fucking bullshit, Cindy.”

Releasing my wrist, he shifted to cup my face as he’d done earlier, then tilted it up toward his. Emotion clogged my throat. No one had ever held me like he had, and still did.

“Johnny...”

His gaze was fixed on my lips and I knew what he was about to do. I knew I should stop him. Kick him in the shins or something, then run like hell. It was the only way to save us both. But that’s not what I did. Not what I really wanted. For the past eighteen years, eight months, two weeks and three days, my heart, soul, body and mind had been craving this man. Not that I’d been counting or anything.

My mind shut down as instinct and desire took over. Pressing my palms against his solid, muscular chest, I leaned into him as his face descended.

His growl filled my ears a moment before his lips brushed over mine. It was a gentle touch, like he was testing his welcome. It wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough. I pushed up onto my tiptoes and boldly nipped at his lower lip before pressing my mouth solidly over his. That move earned me another growl, then he stopped screwing around and took control of our kiss. I slipped my tongue out to greet his when he licked at my lips. The kiss held none of the finesse I knew he had. It was hot, passionate, a little messy, and rapidly had me breathless. I pulled away to take a breath and his grip tightened on my face.

“Get back here, Cin. I’m not nearly done with you.”

Stroking my palms down his front and around to grip his hips, I smiled up at him and accepted another of his kisses. This one was a little slower, it was Johnny in full-on seduction mode. It had my brain spinning and my heart tripping over itself. Kissing Johnny was everything I remembered and more. This was no longer a boy but a man. A strong, powerful dominant man. I doubted he was a trained Dom like the men at Titanium, but now that I was back in his arms, feeling him against me again. I knew why I’d always felt so comfortable around those men. Without realizing it, I’d gravitated toward them because they’d reminded me of what I’d left behind. Of what I’d craved. Not that I’d ever indulged. I couldn’t risk my stalker finding out if I did, so I’d stayed behind the bar and simply observed what the others did before going home and taking care of myself.

That had a sob catching in my throat. I was being stupid. So fucking stupid. I tore myself away from him and swiping the tears from my eyes, I ran down the hallway, out to find my team, wishing I had my skates on. I’d be able to get out of here so much faster if I was on my wheels. I needed to get out of the bar and up to my room before Johnny came after me, which I knew he’d do within seconds of me bolting. The fact we weren’t in Houston hopefully meant my stalker wasn’t here watching my every move.

My gaze caught Natalie’s and with a frown, she excused herself from the others and came straight over to me.

“What on earth happened? Do I need to go deal with someone?”

Another sob escaped, and I raised my hand to cover my mouth. Along with being the captain of Her Royal Hellions, Natalie was the owner of Titanium. She was also a Domme, who took no shit from anyone. Even though I’d turned down her offer to train me as a submissive, that hadn’t stopped her from taking me under her wing. She was as protective as Johnny, and one of my closest friends.

“I’ll explain later, but right now, I need to get out of here.”

“Damn straight you’ll explain. C’mon, we’ll head up to your room.”

Leaning into her when she wrapped her arm around my shoulders, I kept my gaze down and let her lead me out of the bar. My mind was spinning while my lips still tingled from Johnny’s kisses. I was so fucking torn about what to do. Part of me wanted to turn around and run back to Johnny, to be wrapped up in his arms as I told him everything and hoped he could somehow magically fix it all. But the bigger part of me, the part that was used to living half a life in order to stay safe, won out like it always did and allowed Natalie to guide me out of the hotel bar and into an elevator.

“Assuming this has something to do with the hot biker who came barreling out of the hallway after you, you sure know how to pick ’em, babe.”

After wiping the tears from my cheeks and trying to regain some level of composure I faced her.

“Biker?”

She cocked a brow in surprise. “What the hell happened between the two of you in that hallway that you didn’t seem to notice that man was wearing Charon MC colors?”

Feeling like the breath had been knocked out of me, I reached out a hand for the wall to steady myself.

“Oh, fuck.”

The Charon MC ruled Bridgewater. That meant he’d stayed local. Bridgewater was only about an hour from Houston. I hadn’t ever seen many of the Charons riding around Houston but they did on occasion. Would he find me again? We were in Austin right now, but we were at a hotel so I doubted he’d think I lived here. What would happen when my stalker discovered Johnny was back in my life?

The ding of the elevator arriving at our floor had me pulling out of my thoughts long enough to follow Natalie down the hallway. Pulling my keycard out, I made fast work of opening things up. Once we were inside the room and the door was shut, she didn’t waste a moment.

“Come and sit down, sugar. I’ll grab us something to drink and then you can explain to me what the fuck just happened downstairs.”

Obediently, I went and sat at the table while Natalie grabbed a couple bottles of water. I was rubbing my temples when she set the bottle in front of me before taking a seat in the chair opposite me. Looking into her dark eyes, I opened my mouth but couldn’t find the words. My thoughts were all jumbled and messy. Closing my mouth, I pressed my fingers against my lips that still tingled from his kisses. Where did I start? How much did Natalie want to know? How much should she know? If I told her everything, would she try to find my stalker to handle him herself? She could get hurt. Or worse, would she not believe me and tell me I was being stupid. I couldn’t lose my place on the team, or my job at Titanium.

“Cindy?”

Natalie was using her Domme voice and it had everything in me stilling.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Take a couple of deep breaths and drink some water.” She stopped talking while I followed her instructions. By the time I recapped the bottle I felt much calmer but still wasn’t sure where to start. “The time has come for you to tell me your whole story, Cindy. No more hiding. Who is that man to you?”

I shook my head. “He’s no one anymore. But he was once my whole world. We dated in high school.”

Once I started, it all flowed out of me. I gave Natalie everything. From my and Johnny’s first kiss, to me running away after the second threat, to my car getting keyed after I risked going on a date, and how grateful I was to her and Titanium for giving me a safe place I could relax and enjoy myself. Even if I didn’t take full advantage of it.

By the time I finished speaking, it felt as though a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I’d never told anyone everything in one hit like that before. When I’d first joined Her Royal Hellions and then when I’d started to work at Titanium, I’d given Natalie and the others the barest amount of information about my history as I could get away with. I hadn’t wanted them to turn away from me. It was that fear that had me still tense now, despite the lightness I felt from having unloaded it all. The fear Natalie was about to reject me had me on edge.

“So much makes sense now. You should have told me everything a long time ago, but I can understand why you didn’t. That’s why you refuse to get out from behind the bar at the club, isn’t it?”

I nodded. “I couldn’t risk my stalker somehow finding out. I have no idea who it is, so I don’t know when he’s close to me.”

“I hope like hell we didn’t let that fucker in, but without knowing who he is, there’s no way of knowing for sure. Fuck, I’m so sorry you’ve been living like this for so long. It’s not natural, or healthy.”

I couldn’t hide my shock. “You believe me, then?”

With a frown, she cocked her head to the side. “Why wouldn’t I believe you?”

“No one else has. My parents and the police have never believed anything I’ve told them. Even when I showed them the notes, they always had a way to explain it away.”

“Well, I’ve got no fucking clue why they didn’t believe you, but I do, and the team will back you up too, when you’re ready to tell them. And the sooner you do, the sooner everyone can keep an eye out and we might just be able to figure out who this bastard is. We take care of our own, and we’ll get to the bottom of it. Well, that’s if we get the chance. Now the Charons are involved I dare say your life is about to get really interesting, sugar. Those men aren’t exactly known for sitting back and letting shit like this slide by, even if it’s happening to someone not involved with the club. Given Johnny seems to be re-staking his claim on you? They’ll have it all sorted out in no time, I’m sure”

“You think he’ll find me again? I mean, we’re pretty far from home right now.”

She patted my hand as she snorted out a laugh. “Oh, honey, I can guarantee you, that man will find you again. And soon.”

Fear and excitement mixed inside me, I couldn’t work out if I wanted him to find me again or not. And was Natalie right? Would he and his club really be able to sort out my stalker issue? Assuming they even believed me.