Aveoth had jacked off in the shower. He entered his bedroom and stared at Jill sleeping in his bed. Guilt, disbelief, and shock still echoed through him. His ravage was years away but his body had betrayed him and Jill. She’d never forgive him.
His dick stiffened and he glared down at it. “I deserve sainthood.” He’d only used his mouth on Jill until she’d passed out from exhaustion. There was no way he’d take advantage of her in that condition. He strode over to the nightstand and removed his personal phone before he returned to the bathroom. He called Kelzeb.
His friend answered on the second ring. “Is something wrong?”
“Where are you?”
“Between meetings. I’m walking.” Kelzeb paused. “No one is near me. What is wrong? You sound pissed.”
“I kissed Jill.”
“That’s progress.”
“And it sent her into heat as if I’d withdrawn my hormone fluid from the back of my very neck while suffering the ravage.”
His friend inhaled sharply. “What?”
“You heard me.”
“That’s not possible. It’s not the right time for you.”
“I also didn’t use a needle to withdraw the fluid buildup that I don’t even have.” He closed his eyes and reached behind his neck, feeling for a lump. There wasn’t one. “There’s no sign of the ravage but that’s what happened.”
“I’m coming to you.”
“No. I couldn’t stand you being near her right now. I’m feeling overprotective and aggressive as hell.”
“Is she okay?”
“She’s passed out in my bed.”
“Did you mate her?”
“Hell no. I kept my dick away from her.”
“You just let her suffer through it?” Kelzeb sounded shocked.
“No. I got her through it with oral sex. She’s never going to forgive me. Her reaction…shit. I can’t even blame her for thinking I did this with purpose. She accused me of drugging her like humans do in clubs. What do they call it? Date-rape drugging?”
“You’re going to have to tell her the truth about you when she wakes.”
“I can’t. Not yet. She was already mistrustful but now she’s going to hate me. I can’t share my deepest secret with her, Kelzeb. What if she betrays me?”
“There’s never been anything like you that we know of. And this hasn’t happened to you before. Why now?”
“Maybe it’s because I’d decided to mate her? I don’t know.” His shoulders slumped.
“Look, I’m going to put it out there. You either need to tell her you’re a bit different so she has a chance to understand what happened, or she probably will think you’re a dishonorable asshole who’d unleash a chemical bomb on her sex drive. You said it. You want her to be your mate. This isn’t something you’ll be able to hide from her if your body reacts to her this way. It’s likely to happen again.”
“Fuck.” He wanted to punch something.
“Whatever you do, the rumors are growing stronger amongst the clan. Everyone seems to know about you having a human living in your quarters. Hawk came to me.”
Aveoth got a handle on his emotions. “What did he say?”
“The Gargoyle Council held a secret meeting today. I sure as hell wasn’t informed. He saw them grouped together heading toward their chambers. He wanted you to know.”
“Do you think we can trust Hawk?”
“I do. Hawk loves Chaz and Fray. He had to have heard the rumors that circulated about Abotorus. Can you see him complying if an order came down to eradicate GarLycans in our clan?”
The answer was simple. “Fuck no. He’d have fought alongside his sons to the death.”
“Exactly. He would kill anyone to protect them,” Kelzeb said.
“You’re right. Hawk would never side with the pure-bloods, since most of them agreed with Abotorus that GarLycans have weaknesses they can’t abide.”
“I’m wondering what those ancient fucks are plotting.”
“A flat-out attack would be stupid but I wouldn’t put anything past the council. Quietly alert GarLycans to be vigilant.”
“Already done.”
“You should have called me right away, Kelzeb.”
“I said I would only interrupt your time with Jill if there was something I couldn’t handle.” Humor bled into Kelzeb’s voice. “As much as I hate the council for the way they fuck with us, they are just a pain in our asses. I’m certain they’ve never inspired loyalty to anyone except other full-bloods, considering the way they make no secret about looking down on GarLycans. Their numbers are far fewer than ours these days.”
“I never want it to come to GarLycans fighting Gargoyles in our clan. It would be all kinds of fucked up. Father against son. Never,” Aveoth swore. “I’ll talk to Kado.”
Kelzeb snorted. “He won’t listen. That’s the cold bastard who swore years of service from his own son just to score points with Abotorus. He made Creed a servant to our old lord. I’ve always wondered why he chose Creed and not one of the first three sons.”
“I pondered that myself, and spoke to Nebulas after we discovered the assignments the council had given Creed. Fucking bastards had him out in the dead zone, patrolling far beyond what was considered sane.”
“I remember. What did Kado’s eldest son say? Did he defend his father?”
Aveoth remembered his anger. “No. Nebulas was furious at his father over his brother’s mistreatment. Creed’s wasn’t a planned birth. Kado’s mate went into heat and she got pregnant.”
“Lycans don’t accidently get pregnant.”
Aveoth sighed. “My guess is she wanted another child but Kado didn’t. She probably didn’t care about his wishes. Would you want to take orders from him? I can’t blame her. He gave his son’s life to Abotorus as punishment to his mate and to the son he never wanted.”
“Prick.”
“My opinion of Kado has never been high. Nebulas said he was aware his father had been angry over the matter, but he didn’t know his brother was still paying the price. I promised him that I’d never allow the council to assign Creed duties again. That’s why I had you send him to be a Lycan pack guardian. It keeps him far from his father’s reach.”
Kelzeb grunted. “I wish we could send Kado away. But we’ll deal with whatever the council’s planning.”
“I’ll set up a meeting with him.”
“At least we know that coward won’t challenge you.”
“True.” Aveoth thought about his current problem. “My main issue right now is Jill and what I’m going to do when she wakes.”
“Tell her as much of the truth as you can. Hopefully it will be enough if you don’t want to share your history just yet.”
“I’ll contact Kado now.”
“Don’t meet with him without me there.”
“Of course not. I’m thinking this evening. Are you free?”
“I’ll make sure of it. Good luck with Jill.”
“Thanks. I’m going to need it.” Aveoth disconnected the call and crept back into his bedroom. Jill still slept. He left his bedroom and began to prepare food for her. She’d be hungry. He just hoped she’d give him a chance to explain.
* * * * *
Jill sat up in bed, gripping the thick bedspread covering her body. A light had been left on. It wasn’t the room Aveoth had given her but instead his bedroom. Memories returned and heat warmed her cheeks. He’d gone down on her, gotten her off several times, until she’d passed out from exhaustion.
She glanced around, seeing that she was alone. Her gaze went to where the opening should be to the ledge, but he’d sealed it off. “Of course he did,” she muttered. “So I can’t escape.”
She pushed back the bedspread and stared at her naked body. A quick assessment told her she’d been washed. Nothing hurt but she felt her throat, not feeling any bite marks. Wings had drugged her though. His kiss had turned her on so strongly that she hadn’t even put up a fight.
She stood and let her hand wander down to the V of her thighs. It didn’t hurt there, either, so she was pretty sure he hadn’t done more than use his mouth.
Anger filled her. It had been unfair, what he’d done to her. He talked about honor, but a nice whatever-the-hell he was wouldn’t have dosed her.
The bathroom door lock was still broken but she entered it and stared at her reflection. She again scanned her body, twisting and turning to see if he’d bitten her. There were no marks or bruises. She washed her face, brushed her teeth, and entered her bedroom. A clean shirt had been left on top of the bed. She hesitated but then put it on. It beat walking around naked. The thing had to be Aveoth’s, of course, and it hung to her thighs.
She opened the hallway door and the scent of food hit. Her stomach growled. Part of her wanted to barricade herself inside the bedroom but she was too angry. Hiding wasn’t who she was. Her life had always been hard, and she faced things straight on. Including freaky men with wings. Her and Aveoth were going to talk.
She stormed barefoot toward the kitchen and found him sitting with his back to her at the counter.
“I hope you slept well.”
His deep voice startled her, since he didn’t move on the barstool. He had probably heard or smelled her coming. She crossed her arms over her chest as she came to a halt. “So much for your talk of honor and all that bullshit. You drugged me.”
“It wasn’t intentional.”
“Bullshit.” She wasn’t buying it.
He slowly turned on the stool and stood. His features surprised her. He looked tired, and his normally stimulating eyes were just blue now, no sign of silver. “That has never happened before, Jill. I wasn’t even aware I had the ability to put you into heat with just a kiss. I’m a lot of things, but I’m not a liar.”
“I’m not a cat. I don’t go into heat.”
“I’m mostly Gargoyle, and under certain circumstances we can trigger heat with humans, Lycans, and even other Gargoyles. This truly wasn’t planned. Will you please at least listen to me?”
“Do I have a choice? You have me trapped here.”
“Are you hungry?”
“As if I’d trust you to prepare me anything. You drugged me once. You could do it again.”
He sat back down. “Every thirty years, a Gargoyle experiences the ravage. We usually get a day or two warning before it hits. Our emotions are unstable and a lump forms at the back of our necks. It’s a chemical buildup of sexual hormones. We find a woman to agree to share our ravage with us.”
“I didn’t agree to that shit.”
He nodded. “I’m aware. May I continue?”
She kept silent, staring at him.
“We use a syringe to remove some of that chemical, or hormone, whatever you want to call it, and put it in a glass. The woman will drink it. It affects her quickly, just the way my kiss did to you yesterday. You may feel the back of my neck. There’s no lump. My emotion levels haven’t spiked. I’m not in the ravage, nor is it due, but for whatever reason my body somehow produced that chemical inside my mouth when I kissed you. I swear to you that I don’t know why or even how it happened. This was a first.”
“I still call bullshit.”
His eyes swirled silver but they calmed quickly, returning to a bright blue. “I understand your mistrust but I’m telling you the truth. Don’t you think I would have fully bedded you if this had been planned? You certainly would have let me fuck you.” His voice deepened. “Instead, I tended to you orally and suffered the most painful hard-on of my life. I tended to my own needs afterward in the shower.”
She still didn’t trust him. “Maybe you did things to me after I blacked out.”
His eyebrows rose and he actually had the nerve to smile. “You’d feel it if I’d fucked you. You’re dainty, Jill. I’m not.” He stood and reached for the front of his pants.
“What are you doing?”
It shocked her when he opened them, shoving the black material down. The sight of his straining, thick cock freed wasn’t something she could unsee. He was really big and really hard.
He yanked his pants up, adjusting his hard-on, and sat back down. “You’d know it with certainty if I’d been inside you.”
She recovered, glaring at him. “That was crude.”
“Effective though.” He sighed, breaking eye contact momentarily but quickly looking back at her. “I’m trying to get you to trust and like me, goddamn it. What happened was detrimental to gaining that goal. All I can do is apologize and tell you the truth. I didn’t know that would happen. When it did, I tended to you in the least traumatizing way I could.”
“You think going down on me wasn’t traumatizing?” She knew her cheeks were burning. It was embarrassing to remember how much she’d enjoyed it. “You put your face where it shouldn’t have been!”
He glanced down her body. “You would have suffered if I hadn’t done that.” His gaze returned to hers. “It was either pain or pleasure. I never want to see you hurting, Jill.”
“So that was you doing me a favor?”
He stood and rounded the counter. “I don’t want to fight with you. It was an accident. You don’t seem willing to believe me but I did my best to get you through the end result.” He bent, taking something out of the oven.
She noticed his hands turning gray before he lifted a glass dish and set it on the stovetop. She wondered if that was his version of pot holders, partially shelling.
He turned to face her. “Please eat.”
She was hungry. “Fine, but it better not be drugged.”
He got out plates and a large spoon, dishing what she assumed was some kind of breakfast casserole. It smelled good. He put both of them down on the counter by the barstools, then gathered silverware. “I would never purposely hurt you in any way.”
He looked so defeated and, despite her anger, his voice bothered her. He was usually confident but now he seemed defeated. Even…sad.
What if he was telling the truth? It didn’t excuse what happened. Though she was a little more open to listening and asking questions.
“So you’re telling me that you didn’t know us kissing could drug me?”
He held her gaze. “I did not. I swear on my life.”
“How is that possible?”
He took a seat beside her. “GarLycans and VampLycans are a young race, Jill. There was never any recorded history of our races breeding until after VampLycans came to be. We still are learning what we’re capable of and don’t have answers for everything, like lifespans. For example, will a VampLycan die of old age the way a Lycan would after so many hundreds of years, or will they endure agelessness the way Vampires do, as long as they drink blood? It’s the same for GarLycans, although we do tend to inherit most of our traits from our Gargoyle blood. I can’t tell you what my lifespan will be with certainty. I can guess it will be thousands of years, but who really knows? We don’t. I can do things Gargoyles can’t because I’m not a full-blood. What happened when I kissed you wasn’t planned, nor did I suspect it was a possibility. It’s never happened to me before, or been reported by any other GarLycan.”
She took a bite of the casserole. It was good but slightly odd tasting. She refused to ask him what meat was inside it. With her luck, it might be sheep or maybe even a rabbit. She thought both animals were cute. It was best not to know. His words replayed in her head as she considered everything he’d said.
“I won’t risk kissing you again, Jill. I’m afraid to. I never want a repeat of what happened and the fear I saw in your eyes. You must hate me.”
She glanced over at him and discovered his shoulders slumped, his focus on the food in front of him. He looked depressed, and his tone sounded the same. It made her feel bad…and a little guilty. He certainly seemed sincere.
But her anger returned. It was possible he was telling the truth, but it was still really screwed up that her body had been out of control because of some freaky hormone thing going on with him.
She decided to stay silent and just eat.
They finished their meal and Aveoth stood, carrying their dishes to the sink. “I am going to leave soon and deal with some problems in the clan. A guard will be assigned outside the door but it will be for your protection. I don’t trust Winalin or anyone like her to not try to harm you while I’m gone.”
That surprised her. “You’re actually going to leave me alone and not drag me with you this time?”
He faced her, and the normal sparks of color in his eyes remained absent. “Yes. I believe you’ve had enough of my company recently. I am truly sorry, Jill. I never meant for that to happen.”
Damn. She felt really guilty. He’d been nice to her since they’d met. She couldn’t deny it. The possibility of him telling her the truth about that kiss seemed more likely than not. It might suck that he wouldn’t allow her to go home, but he’d sworn to keep her safe. He also could have nailed her while she was drugged out of her head, but he hadn’t. She believed that too. The guy was hung. She’d have felt that afterward if he’d fucked her.
“I’ll leave you now. I have calls to make to two trusted GarLycans I wish to guard you, and I have the head of the Gargoyle Council to confront. He’s an asshole who loves to cause trouble.”
“Because I’m here?” She’d heard everything that Winalin had said.
“Kado needs no real excuse to be a thorn in my side. He hates me and every other GarLycan, including one of his own sons. I’m not even certain he likes his other three, since they’re GarLycans, but he at least didn’t give them away to that bastard Abotorus. He is cruel.”
“He gave away his own kid? Like, put him up for adoption?”
Aveoth shook his head. “Are you familiar with an indentured servant? Kado signed away his son’s life for a certain amount of years to work for the clan right after his birth. Abotorus allowed it. I never would have. There have been a few times when clan members offered one of their sons to me in that way. I refused.”
She remembered her history. “So this guy is like a slave?” It horrified her. “Can you set him free?”
“It’s a fucked-up tradition I inherited when I became a lord.” He reached up and scrubbed his face with his hand. “I can’t dishonor Creed that way by outright giving him his freedom until the time expires. It would embarrass him and injure his pride.” He dropped his hand, staring at her. “I did, however, assign him a job he wanted that is far from here, so he’s not under the command of the Gargoyle Council. They abused him as a youth with harsh assignments.”
She felt sorry for whoever this Creed was.
The silver flared in his eyes but he looked furious. “I must leave. I hope you will forgive me at some point, Jill.” He bowed and walked toward the hallway.
She stood and reached out as he passed, touching his arm. He froze, his head swiveling to stare at her hand lightly gripping his forearm. His gaze lifted to hers.
“I believe that you didn’t mean to drug me but I can’t say I’m happy about what happened, either.”
Relief showed on his face. “Thank you.”
“Be careful.”
“Always. I have something to protect now.” He pulled away, walking down the hallway and out of sight to his bedroom.
She sighed and closed her eyes. Why does he have to be so damn hot? And sweet? The memory of his face between her thighs—and what he could do with his tongue—had her opening her eyes and taking a seat on the barstool again.
She wanted him, even if he wasn’t human, but they’d be a train wreck. “Damn. I’m in trouble.”