Chapter Six
CAM
Cam flew through the air relishing the feeling of using his wings again after so long.
The Angel Realm looked exactly the same as before he was detained; calm and beautiful with a relaxed atmosphere. He found it both comforting and disturbing. The Angel Realm didn’t develop and evolve like the human world, no matter how long a time had passed. It must have been well over a year, possibly nearly two, since he was detained, and yet nothing much had changed.
He followed Zak, his nerves strung tightly as they ascended higher into the air. He was so eager to see Thea but wasn’t sure how she would respond to him.
There was a point in the past when he realized that his mate was all he needed. Somehow he had forgotten that. He wasn’t sure when—maybe it was when he took the assignment, maybe it was when he felt the darkness again. But none of that was important compared to losing his mate. Losing her to death had been an unbearable thought, but losing her trust was almost as bad. He had lost it before, but it was never like this. If he had to give up his Power duties for Thea, he would do it instantly. He couldn’t take her for granted again. And yet, that wasn’t even an option now.
He didn’t have a lot of time to earn her forgiveness. He had to make sure he remembered his conversation with the Thrones when they released him.
“Camael, you are sentenced to Fall,” Sal had said. “Your wings will be clipped and you will be sent to the human world.”
Cam stood emotionless, facing the group of Thrones in a small hall in their Sanctum. He didn’t look at any of them in particular.
“However, a petition from the Dominion League has been granted by the Seraphim.”
Cam glanced at Adonai, who looked absolutely pissed off. He held in a grin.
“This petition releases you from your detention and grants you with the freedom to take on a particular assignment that will be explained to you by Commander Zakiel. You will be under my supervision, while on this assignment, although you will still report to your commander. Do you understand this?”
“Yes.”
“Once the assignment comes to an end, you will be escorted back to your cell and your sentencing will take place. Do you understand?”
Cam pulled his mind from the Thrones and glided in a slow curve as his building came into view, drifting above the tallest buildings in the Realm, not far from the Stream. This assignment was the only chance he had to spend time with Thea as an angel. Even though Zak was petitioning to get his sentence revoked, he couldn’t rely on that, and he didn’t want Thea to rely on it either.
They landed on the public entrance and used the flightway. It made sense that Thea wouldn’t want them entering through the balcony, but the formality of it felt unnatural to Cam.
Zak stopped outside a door a couple of doors down from Cam’s own. “I’ll wait out here until you’re ready to start the assignment. We have to start it today.”
Cam frowned at the door. “This is Thea’s quarters?”
“Yes.”
“She’s not staying in mine?”
Zak’s expression sobered. “You have a long way to go with her, Cam. Take your time.”
Cam held in the grumble in his throat. She was his mate; even if they were distanced, she should be in his apartment.
He knocked on the door and after a short moment, she opened it.
Thea had always been a beautiful woman. It was as though the Creator had had a direct hand in her creation. Her snowy coloring, her rich brown hair, and sapphire blue eyes always shone with something ethereal and indescribable that Cam had always been drawn to, but seeing her again after such a long time took all thoughts from his head. Intense emotion flooded him—his heart raced, his mouth went dry, and his stomach fluttered. She was stunning. Her eyes met his, her gaze powerful but hesitant. He couldn’t speak. She looked gorgeous, standing there looking up at him. And then her scent crept up on him, that delicious, fragrant aroma he had missed so much. He wasn’t sure how long they stood staring at each other but the urge came over him to be closer to her.
“Thea,” he said, his voice gravelly. Just looking at her made his body react, made him want to touch her, to feel her skin against his. He was overwhelmed with the urge to take her into his arms. He stepped forward but an uneasiness jumped into her eyes and she darted back a tiny amount. He froze, dismay slamming into him. “May I come in, Thea?”
She nodded, her eyes on the floor, before retreating into her quarters.
Zak grabbed his arm before he could follow. “Call me in if she starts to get… restless.”
Cam frowned at him but didn’t say anything. He nodded and closed the door behind him.
Thea sat on the couch in her social room. Her quarters were the same layout and size as his own, but she hadn’t done any decorating. The smooth beige walls were bare and it hardly had any tables, no flowers and no look of being lived in. The only sign of life was the food crowding the kitchen counter. He approached her slowly, noticing she was avoiding looking at him.
He knelt on the floor in front of her but she shrunk back in the chair, clearly uncomfortable.
“I’ve asked you to forgive me before, Thea,” Cam said softly.
She stilled as soon as he spoke, looking down at her hands clasped in her lap.
“And I’m asking you one more time to consider forgiving me. I never meant to hurt you—it was never my intention—and I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you.” He watched her closely, but she didn’t relax. She was truly fucking scared of him. A desperation rose within him so fiercely he had to swallow the growl he wanted to release. He had been wrong—it wasn’t just about trust, it was about something much more than that. “I know you’re scared of me,” he said, trying to keep his voice clear of frustration. “I can feel it. I don’t know if you’ll ever be comfortable around me again, but I will be here for you whenever you need me during this assignment, okay?”
Thea nodded, her eyes still downcast.
“I’ve missed you so much, Thea,” he said, his voice hoarse with gloom. Her behavior toward him was like a knife in his chest and there wasn’t anything he could do about it. “I’m so sorry you had to be alone all these months.”
He raised a hand and slowly placed it on her knee. She lifted her gaze to his hand, and then to his face. Gazing up at her, he could see the lines of stress and fatigue etched on her face. Tiredness and worry were clear in her eyes, and something else… something he couldn’t place… possibly something he had put there.
He scooted closer. She stiffened, but he kept going until he was leaning against her legs. He placed his head in her lap and stroked the back of her calf.
“I love you, Thea,” he whispered. “I will always love you, even if you don’t love me. Remember? I am yours.”
They stayed in that position for a long moment, and then he felt her relax underneath him. Soon the faint brush of her palm stroked his forehead and her fingers gently played with his hair. “I’m yours too,” she whispered.
He smiled into her lap and sighed, a deep satisfaction blooming within him as he breathed in the scent of her and the feel of her. He ignored his hardening cock and resisted the urge to run his hand up her thigh and slip it between her legs.
He focused on her hands touching him, her legs under his cheek. He thought he would never feel her again. He couldn’t deny that he was desperate. Desperate to regain her confidence in him, desperate to protect her for the rest of her life, and desperate to mate with her. With the Thrones’ threat hanging over him, only one of those was possible.
There was a knock at the door.
Thea stiffened again immediately, her fingers curling away from his scalp. He inched backward and away from her slowly until his back was against the couch opposite.
“Come in,” he called.
Zak entered and approached them slowly, a regretful look on his face. “We need to start the assignment.”
“Okay,” Cam said.
Zak sat on the couch next to Thea, and Cam almost narrowed his eyes but Zak gave him a pointed look.
“Your mother’s commander is the first point of call,” Zak said turning to Thea. “She is a Dominion Angel who works in the building opposite my office. She should be able to tell us some information about your mother’s state of mind.”
“Why didn’t we visit her before when we were looking for your mother?” Cam asked.
“Her name was in the file I gave you—you could have visited her.” Zak lifted his shoulders. “But I don’t think it would have been helpful in terms of trying to find her location.”
“Are you going to be doing this assignment with us?” Cam asked, annoyance creeping into his tone. He was an experienced Power angel. He didn’t need to have his commander on this assignment with him.
Zak hesitated before answering. “I will be with you whenever you are pursuing the assignment within the Angel Realm, but not when you go to the human world.”
Cam’s annoyance died quickly as curiosity replaced it. “You never go to the human world anymore,” he said slowly. “Will you be questioned about why you are avoiding it when you’re supposed to be watching me on this assignment?”
Zak’s jaw hardened and he was silent for a long moment. “Just because you have shown poor judgment doesn’t mean you have lost all of the abilities and skills that have made you an excellent warrior,” he said. “I trust you. I trust you will look after Thea. A Throne has been tasked with watching me while I’m on duty, and I’m sure you’re aware there is one who will be watching you. If we act too differently from how we have always acted, they will have cause to question us further.”
Cam nodded, though he wasn’t entirely convinced. Zak’s avoidance of the human world may be a problem for the Thrones in this case.
“If my petition to overturn your sentence is successful, we don’t need them questioning us further about your capability,” Zak said.
Cam glanced at Thea—she seemed to be in her own thoughts. “They seemed pretty clear that my sentence is final and will be exacted as soon as this assignment ends.”
“They can’t carry out your sentence while a petition is in question,” Zak said firmly. “And the Creator has the final say.”
Cam nodded in agreement, not allowing any hope to drift into his thoughts. The Thrones ran the Realm and would have been thorough in their investigations. Their decision would not be easily overthrown.
“How can an angel end up a demon?” Thea asked, suddenly.
Cam straightened at the sound of her voice, but she was looking at Zak.
“Angels and demons have a unique connection,” Zak explained. “We actually have a very similar potency of energy but on opposite ends of the spectrum. It’s not that unlikely or unusual for an angel to scale that spectrum and enter into the vibrancy of a demon. In fact, it is thought that the first Legion demons were originally Power angels.”
Thea looked intrigued by the idea, and Cam almost moved forward to hold her hands.
“Is there a demon Creator, then?” Thea pondered.
“Yes,” Cam answered. He wanted her beautiful eyes on him, and when they settled on his face, a thrill shot through him. “There is a demon that rivals the Creator. No living angel has ever seen him as far as we know, but he does exist.”
“The devil,” Thea murmured.
“Demons have referred to him as the Destroyer or Devourer,” Cam said. “So that’s how we refer to him too.”
“We don’t talk about him hardly at all,” Zak added. “We don’t know much about him.”
Thea nodded. “I just can’t figure out how my mom became a demon.”
“That’s something you have to ask her, Thea,” Zak said. “Are you ready to start?”
Thea glanced at Cam and then nodded.
***
Cam was sure to keep his distance from Thea but couldn’t help watching everything she did. Nothing in her sexy manner or the way she walked or flew suggested she was still feeling any pain, but he sensed something wasn’t right. She was unusually quiet and seemed to lose focus and sink into her own thoughts a lot of the time.
“Has she been this thoughtful and quiet since the attack?” he said to Zak, as they flew.
“I don’t know. I was locked up after the attack, remember?” Zak replied in a low voice. “But she has been getting quieter and more withdrawn since I first met with her.”
“Something’s wrong.”
“Yes, of course it is.” Zak gave him a look. “You’re here.”
Cam bit back a hard remark. Zak was most likely correct—she was trying to deal with his presence. He just needed to give her time, which was one thing they didn’t have.
They arrived at the building and knocked. A harassed looking angel opened the door. A mass of curly blond hair crowded her face, and glasses perched on the tip of her pert nose.
She squinted at them. “Can I help you?”
"Sofia?" Zak said. "We are currently on an assignment and would like to speak to you."
Sofia's shoulders sagged a little. "Can you tell me what it's about?"
"My mother," Thea said.
Sofia stared at her for a moment and then beckoned them into the room.
Her office was not that different from Zak's. Functional, neat, and organized with a desk in the middle and cabinets around the rest of the room. Sofia pulled a couple of extra chairs to the desk and gestured for them to sit down. As they sat, she settled behind the desk and leaned forward on her elbows. Sofia looked just like her office, neat and well put together, but she had a comfortable presence and her large, dark eyes were warm on Thea.
"What is it that you want to know?" Sofia asked glancing over them all.
"You knew her better than most," Zak said. "What can you tell us about her?"
Sofia stared at Thea for a long moment. "Your mother was a good, kind Archangel. She worked hard and really cared about her charges. She kept on top of her workload and even helped out other Archangels who needed support. She was one of the few who happily trained new angels and studied constantly about all kind of topics that could help her do her job better. She was one of kind, really, but in an honest, simple way."
"Well, now she's a demon," Thea said dryly. "So apparently things changed."
Sofia frowned but she didn't seem shocked at Thea's revelation. There was a short, awkward silence. "I don't know much about what happened after she Fell," Sofia said. "I only spoke to her once afterward and I could tell something was wrong."
"Like what?" Thea asked.
"Your mother loved your father very deeply. She was completely happy with her decision, but I've never known any angel who had made that choice before, so after she Fell, I sought her out. I just wanted to see how she was doing."
"And?" Thea seemed impatient. Cam fought the urge to take her hand.
"She settled with your father, but something wasn't right. They kept moving. She was a bit frantic and seemed desperate but... I was shocked that she had Fallen, and I think that made me reluctant to really listen to what she was trying to tell me." Sofia shifted in her chair. "She was scared."
"What exactly did she say?" Zak asked.
"She said they were following her. She asked me if I could help, but she wasn't clear about whom she was talking about. I couldn't understand her and begged her to let me tell someone here about whatever problem she was having. Then…" Sofia lowered her eyes. "Then she told me not to worry about it and convinced me that everything was okay. She told me a little bit about life with her human and then left."
The room was still for a moment.
Cam turned to Zak. "Fallen angels have trouble with local demons, don't they?"
Zak's hazel eyes gained a look of new understanding. "She was running from the demons."
Sofia leaned forward. "What do you mean?"
"Fallen angels do not have their powers as angels,” Zak explained. “They don't have the Creator’s favor and there is no protection for them. Unless they are trained to fight, they need to make deals with the local demons in order to live comfortably. If she kept moving, she could have been trying to escape them."
"Why didn't you help her?" Thea said, sharply.
Sofia's eyes lowered. "It was new for me to deal with someone who had Fallen. I was shocked—I did not behave the way I should have. Oriah was an exemplary Archangel. I couldn't understand why she would choose to Fall for a human male. It didn't make any sense to me. I wasn't willing to listen to her problems—I just wanted to vent my own thoughts." Her voice became quiet. "Obviously, I regret that now."
Thea looked like she was about to snap again, but this time Cam did take her hand. She squeezed his hand back, glanced at him and seemed to calm.
"I recommend going to where she finally settled and speaking to some of the demons there," Sofia said. "They should be able to tell you more about the relationship between them and your mother, Thea."
Thea frowned. "Why would demons tell me anything?"
Sofia didn't answer, but she glanced at Zak and Cam.
Zak turned to Thea. "We have to make them." He glanced at Cam and looked back at Thea. "You have to interrogate them."
Thea digested the information and then slowly pulled her hand from Cam's.
Cam's heart dropped as he realized what Zak was saying. They would have to interrogate demons, which meant being violent with them—and that was the last thing he needed Thea to see him do.
They thanked Sofia and left, all of them quiet as they flew over the Angel Realm back to Thea's apartment.
Cam held his anxiety down, unwilling to believe that Zak felt it was a good idea for him to be in combat with demons around Thea. She was already apprehensive around him as it was. They gathered outside Thea's door.
"I know it's not ideal for you both to be in a situation where you are fighting or restraining demons," Zak said cautiously. "But it is the only way we're going to get the information that we need. So I'm going to recommend that Elyon join you on this occasion."
Cam clenched his fists. "No."
"I cannot send you into the human world to interrogate demons with Thea and not have another Power there with you," Zak said, sharply. "The Thrones will not allow it."
"Give us another Power, then. Give us any other Power, Zak." An unreasonable irritation swept Cam. He could deal with anyone except that fucker Elyon.
"Elyon isn't just any Power," Zak pointed out. "He’s an established warrior, and he will be a great asset to you if you let him. Just give him a chance."
"I don't want him watching over me and my mate," he growled. "Not while we're so fractured."
Zak was about to answer but then stopped and glanced at Thea. She was looking between them, a nervous look on her face.
"What do you think, Thea?" Zak asked. "Do you want Elyon to accompany you to the human world?"
Thea nodded without even looking at Cam.
Cam's anger died in his chest and was replaced with a rush of disappointment as he realized that she would rather not be alone with him. His opinion didn't matter on this point. The only thing that mattered was that she felt safe; she clearly did not feel safe with him without Elyon there. He held in the roar that threatened to burst from his chest.
Zak nodded sharply. "I’ll check if he is currently on any assignments and arrange for him to go with you either tomorrow or the next day. Be ready."
Thea nodded.
"Good night, Thea," Zak said.
Thea looked at them both. "Good night."
Cam nodded his head in response and watched her enter her quarters, quietly closing the door behind her.
Zak beckoned Cam towards his own quarters a few doors down and waited until they were inside to speak. "I'm sorry, Cam, but I had to do what was best for Thea."
"And you think it is best to have her distance herself from me more by having that fuck, Elyon, with us?" Cam tried to hold in his anger, but he couldn’t believe Zak was going to do something that could destroy his chances with Thea. “Why don’t you come with us instead? Get over this avoidance thing you have with the human world!”
"I can’t," Zak snapped. They glared at each other for a moment before Zak looked away. "She needs to feel safe,” he said. “And you need to control yourself. She needs to see that you're able to do that. Are you able to do that?"
Cam exhaled harshly. This was the one chance he had to show her that he could protect her. If he acted too wild, she would be too scared of him to let him get near her again. He grumbled an incoherent response to Zak.
"I'll try and make sure Elyon is available within the next few days, but do not go to see her in the meantime," Zak warned. "Let her be the one to come and see you."
Cam groaned. "Shit, Zak. How many things are you asking of me? Do you know how much I've missed her? I don't know if I can stay away."
Zak's expression softened. "I know it's going to be hard, but please try. If you want to repair things between the two of you, you have to let her be the one to let you know when she's comfortable."
Cam nodded.
Zak turned to go. "I'll be in touch."