Two weeks later, Gaby let the sun warm her face, and a strange sort of contentment suffused her. It wasn’t happiness exactly. It was calm. She was calm here. It had happened the minute she got off the plane. A sense of peace passed over her like a warm wave.

Some people called it island time. The world seemed to slow down on a tropical island, and the little things didn’t seem so insurmountable. With the sun warm on her face and the sound of the ocean in her ears, she seemed far from that place where her heart had been broken. This was a different world, and she had another chance here.

She wiggled her toes in the thick Caribbean sand and smiled at the couple walking past.

“Gaby, isn’t it a lovely day?” A gorgeous redhead in a teeny tiny white bikini called out a greeting. The woman held hands with a man she had not come to the resort with. Gaby was pretty sure her husband was fucking a blonde in the hot tub. She had briefly glimpsed the couple as she’d instructed the staff to clean the deck. The couple hadn’t even looked up from what they were doing.

Oh, the joys of swingers weekend.

But then it also reminded her exactly how far she’d come. A year ago she’d been her Master’s kept plaything, coddled and hidden away from the world’s dirty secrets. Well, the ones that weren’t Cal’s dirty secrets. Now she was the chick who dealt with the secrets, who kept everything running smoothly so those secrets never had to come out into the open.

When she thought about it, she was kind of a badass.

“It certainly is lovely.” She nodded and gave the guests a friendly wave. The temporary couple walked off looking for privacy. It surprised her, since most of the couples didn’t bother with anything as bourgeois as privacy. Sometimes she wondered where Greg had found his first manager. She was the second to manage this little piece of paradise, but she had no illusions that running a fetish resort required a certain sense of humor many people didn’t have.

“Seriously? Half an hour ago I saw that guy with two brunettes and a totally hot hockey player,” a familiar voice said.

Gaby turned and gave the newcomer her most brilliant smile. He shook his head as he watched the couple walk down the beach.

“We’re supposed to pretend we don’t recognize the famous people,” she reminded her dear friend Cody. He leaned into her. Cody didn’t believe in personal space when it came to his friends. Gaby slipped her arms through his. She loved how tactile he was. She could always count on a hug from him. “Especially when they swing both ways.”

A decadent grin crossed Cody’s face. He was a metro hottie with stylish dark hair and green eyes. He used far more product on his hair than she used on hers. When it came to style, she could learn a lot from him. “Honey, he was swinging more than two ways. I’d love to see what that man could do with a hockey stick and a tube of lube.”

Gaby laughed and pushed affectionately at him. “Pervert.”

“I wouldn’t work here if I wasn’t, G.” His green eyes had that sparkle in them that told Gaby someone hot was on the horizon. “Speaking of perverts…the man in the Angelina Suite is so hot, I think I could die.”

A smile slid across her face. She checked her watch. It was an hour before she had to check in on the luncheon arrangements. Her staff was a well-oiled machine. It made her life fairly easy and gave her time to listen to Cody’s amazingly detailed physical descriptions of hot guys. She sank down into the sand and patted the ground next to her. “Hit me.”

Cody sighed as he joined her. “Okay, where to begin? Naturally, he’s gorgeous. He’s roughly six-two.”

“Linebacker or swimmer?” Hot guys came in two categories in Cody’s world.

“Oh, swimmer. He’s lean, but incredibly strong. Big broad shoulders, but not overly muscled. He works out, but it’s not his whole life. His hair is dark as midnight. His face isn’t perfect. He’s hit thirty-five the hard way, but life and experience are written all over him.”

Gaby snorted. “You should really be writing romance novels.”

He waved her off. “His eyes are blue. They’re a deep blue, and when he smiles, which he rarely does, there are these great creases around them. They give him character. He has sensual lips. No man should have those lips. I can feel them wrapped around my cock right now.”

“Don’t tell me he’s gay,” she protested playfully. Everyone was gay in Cody’s fantasies. Even the most macho of men secretly harbored a love for guys in Cody’s world. “You just ruined all my daydreams.”

Cody looked serious for a moment, his brows coming together as he thought. “He’s not gay. I’m out of luck there, but he’s also not looking for a quick hookup. I showed him around a little. He wasn’t interested in the amenities and he definitely wasn’t looking at any of the hot bodies around us. I’m not sure why he’s here this weekend. You know I’ve been around the lifestyle for a very, very long time.”

Cody’s parents were a D/s pair. They’d been in a loving relationship for thirty years. Cody often claimed his parents’ comfort with themselves had led to his own pain-free acceptance of his sexuality.

“This guy isn’t a swinger, and he’s straight as an arrow, unfortunately,” Cody said with a rueful sigh. “He’s a Dom. Trust me, I know one when I see one.”

“Did Heather send him?” She bit back a groan. She wouldn’t put it past her longtime friend to send her a blind date. “She’s been on my ass to find another Dom. I can’t seem to get her and Greg to understand that I don’t want another one.”

Cody’s eyebrow shot straight up. “You want a vanilla boy?”

She shrugged. “Sure, why not? Maybe I want a plain, old, boring love affair where I don’t have to kneel at his feet and call him Sir. Maybe I don’t want to get tied up or have my ass spanked the second I step out of line. Maybe I don’t want to get tortured by someone who makes me come for hours and then gently bathes me.”

Cody coughed. It sounded suspiciously like “bullshit.”

“I’m serious. I want a regular relationship this time,” she said firmly. The truth was she wasn’t sure what she wanted. She knew it was far too soon to get seriously involved with another Dom. Maybe one day. Years from now. Decades. “But a hot affair for a weekend is a completely different story.”

“Now you’re talking. I think sex would make you feel good. I think righteously nasty sex will make you feel even better.” His handsome face was deceptively innocent. He touched his hand to his heart. “You should listen to me. I’m your murse.”

Gaby rolled her eyes but leaned into him all the same. He called himself a murse, a meshing of male and nurse.

Cody Linwood was the best present Heather and Greg could have given her. He was the registered nurse who had helped her through her surgery. Cody had been the one to push and prod her into getting better. He’d been the one to hold her hand when she came out of surgery in so much pain she thought she would die. He’d heard her crying for Callum.

She shook off the thought as she brushed the sand from her khaki shorts. Being the manager of Decadence Resort didn’t call for formal clothes. Her staff had simple uniforms, but she tended to wear whatever she liked.

“You said he was in the Angelina Suite? Maybe I’ll take him a gift basket.” She shook her head when she saw the excited look in Cody’s eyes. “Don’t think it’s going anywhere. He’s still a guest. I just want to take a look. If he’s as hot as you say he is, maybe I’ll make an exception.”

Maybe she would. It was time to put distance between herself and Callum. She had to get over him or it would ruin what should be a good part of her life. She was young. She was freaking healthy.

It was time to embrace everything life had to offer.

“I stand ready to take over so you can debauch yourself for the weekend.” He gave her a saucy salute.

She had to smile as she walked up toward the gorgeous plantation-style resort she called home. She wouldn’t actually start a red-hot affair with the Dom in the Angelina Suite. Probably not. Maybe not.

But it couldn’t hurt to look.

 

* * * *

 

Twenty minutes later, Gaby checked herself out in the ornate mirror outside the resort’s most expensive suite. She needed to talk to reservations and the front desk. They should have notified her when the suite was reserved. She hadn’t checked on his name, but she knew he had to be a VIP if he could afford the Angelina Suite.

But she could deal with the breakdown in protocols later. For now, it was time to be the gracious host and figure out if this Dom was here to play or here at Heather’s behest.

She took a hard look at herself. Her brown hair was starting to get long enough to curl. In this case her island worked against her. The tropical humidity was frizzing her out. She tried to smooth it down. It was too hot to wear much makeup, other than a bit of mascara and some lip-gloss. At least her boobs looked good. They were perky in her neat little polo. And despite what her asshole former Master had said, she was gaining back the weight she’d lost. Her curves were coming back with a vengeance. If she didn’t stay away from the buffet, she would be right back at pleasingly plump.

She held the very nice fruit basket in one hand and plastered a professional smile on her face as she knocked on the door to the suite.

“Come on in,” a masculine voice said. The door swung open, but all she saw was a nice view of a ripped back as the man turned away. “I’ll slip into some pants and be right with you.”

The gorgeous towel-clad figure with the deep voice disappeared behind the bathroom door without ever letting her see his face.

He reminded her of Callum. Yeah, probably everyone would right now. And there went the slight possibility of a hot affair. She sighed as she looked around the suite. Everything appeared to be in its proper place. It was a gorgeously decorated room. The art on the walls were abstracts done by up-and-coming artists. The sofa and chairs were all Italian leather, and her feet sank into the rich carpet that covered the floor.

She opened the curtains to give the new guest the best view of the ocean. The Angelina Suite had a large balcony that overlooked the blue Caribbean. There was no way she could ignore the impulse to walk out there. While her guest was getting ready, she opened the glass door and stepped out. That was perfection right there. White sand beaches and a turquoise blue ocean. The sun sparkled on the waves as they lazily took and gave up territory.

Yes, this was where she needed to be.

Couples walked hand in hand. A woman played like a child in the sand, building castles that would last only as long as the low tide. This was a place to play, to explore, to leave the real world behind. She took a deep breath. The day smelled like clean ocean breeze and sandalwood. The smell brought her right back to Cal. When he’d put his arms around her, she had been able to smell the soap he used, clean sandalwood. The scent had always made her feel safe.

God, was she ever going to forget him?

It had been two weeks since that scene in the gazebo and every single night since she’d dreamed about him. Good dreams. Shitty dreams. It didn’t matter. He was the focus of them all.

The first week had been fueled by a righteous fury. She’d come back to the island with all manner of revenge in her head. She could fuck him over in several ways. But gradually, her rage had fizzled down to a sadness she couldn’t seem to shake. Revenge wouldn’t fix things and it wasn’t her way. By the second week, she’d smiled and went about her business, but ripping Callum out of her heart had been hard. The truth was she felt a little empty now.

She wasn’t ready for this.

What was she doing here? She was never going to hit on this guy, no matter how hot he was. She needed time. She needed to be with herself for a while, maybe a long while.

She stepped back in the room and made her way to the front door.

“Uhm, I just wanted to drop off your gift basket and welcome you to the resort. If you need anything, please call the lobby.” She had her hand on the door when a voice stopped her.

“Why don’t I simply call you, Gabrielle?” The voice was dark and deep. It was a voice that haunted her.

Her breath caught and she forced herself to turn. “Callum?”

He was a sight in black jeans and nothing else. His dark hair had been towel dried and curled around his ears. A sheen of moisture gleamed across his cut torso. Her mouth watered at the sight of his six-pack. There was no need to see his muscular legs or anything else the jeans hid. That amazing masculine body of his was burned into her memory.

“In the flesh, so to speak.” There was a satisfied smile on his face that told her he was reading her like a book. He’d always known the effect he had on her. “It’s good to see you. I was worried I would get here and you would somehow be gone again. God, I didn’t like the way we parted and I thought we should talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” She should have expected this, though she’d rather thought he would call and not show up in person. He hadn’t known about the cancer. He felt bad. Therefore he was here to assuage his conscience. There was absolutely nothing for him to feel guilty about. She forced herself to smile. “I get it. You feel bad. You didn’t know when you pulled that complete dick move in the gazebo. I understand and you’re forgiven. Now, I have work to do. Please let the front desk know if you need anything. I hope you enjoy your stay.”

She turned to go.

“Gabrielle.” He barked her name like an order.

Gaby stopped, unconsciously used to following his commands. She stared at the door, unable to push through it. Why did this man have such power over her? Why did it have to be him?

“You will not walk away from me,” he said in that deep chocolate voice of his. Somehow, even when he was angry as hell, that voice was sex and sin to her. “We are going to talk this out. You lied to me. You left me under false pretenses. I want some answers.”

Was he serious? She turned, facing him. “I don’t owe you anything, Cal. I honored our contract and I left when I felt the relationship was done. If you’re pissed about the money you gave me, I’ll find a way to pay you back.”

His fists clenched at his sides, a sure sign he was emotional. It almost never came across in his voice, but she could tell by the tension of his body. “I don’t give a shit about the money. I want to know why you didn’t tell me you had cancer.”

It was the one word that could make her beyond tired. Just saying the word made her weary. It wouldn’t do any good to reopen old wounds. “It doesn’t matter now. I’m fine. You’re fine. We were in a relationship that was going nowhere. Now we can both find better partners.”

His eyes latched on hers, real heat coming through them. “Is that why you’re here? Are you fucking the guests to figure out what you need?”

Hot anger rushed through her, making her forget her previous weariness. He had no right to question her. No rights to her at all. “Screw you, Callum. Like I said, call the desk if you need anything.”

He reached out to grab her. His hand was gentle but insistent. “Gabrielle, wait. I’m sorry. I’m screwing it up again. You know I’m not good at this. Please. I only want to talk. I’ll keep a civil tongue in my head. Please have dinner with me. I’ve spent the last two weeks working day and night so I could spend time with you. Check through my things. I didn’t even bring my cell.”

Her eyes widened. Cal was surgically attached to his cell phone. He was always working. His hands moved gently, stroking up and down her arms. It was a familiar gesture. She knew she should pull away, but she found herself unwilling to leave him. “Are you serious?”

“I shut down my office and cleared my cases,” he explained. “You were wrong. You said we were fine, but I’m not fine. I haven’t been since you walked out on me.”

She was quiet for a moment. It was hard to believe he’d shut his office down. Even for a few days. Whatever he had to say to her must be damn serious. It seemed beyond dangerous to spend time with him. Any weakness would be used ruthlessly. It wasn’t cruelty on his part. It was merely who he was.

She should walk away.

“All right.” The words came out before she could think to stop them. And her voice came out softer than she liked. She’d replied to him like the old Gabrielle, like the submissive replying to her Master. She squared her shoulders and looked him right in the eyes, forcing herself to speak in a strong tone. “But just dinner. Nothing else.”

He smiled, showing even, white teeth. He held his hands up in supplication. “Just dinner. Just talking. I have questions I need you to answer. In return, I’ll answer any questions you have for me.”

She swallowed. Was he serious? When they had been together, he’d blocked off huge portions of his life that she wasn’t allowed to discuss with him. She should still walk away, but she was curious. “Any questions?”

He nodded slowly. “Any. Does that tell you how desperate I am? I need this. I need to understand what went wrong.”

Of all the reasons he was here, that one made her soften. Perhaps they both needed some closure. “I eat at seven in the main dining room.”

“Gabrielle?” He said her name like a prayer. It forced her to turn and truly look at him. She noticed the weariness around his eyes and the way his forehead creased with worry. “Thank you.”

She nodded and walked out of the room, her heart thudding in her chest.

 

* * * *

 

Callum watched her across the table, hating the fact that she’d chosen the chair across from him. Before, she would have settled in next to him. Even when they were in a booth, he preferred her beside him, their bodies brushing up against each other. The way she was sitting was merely more proof that they were broken.

Not broken up. It was worse than that. They were broken and he had to see if there was any way to put them back together again.

He glanced around the main dining room as she studied the menu. He was fairly certain she had that sucker memorized, but tonight was about making her comfortable. If she wasn’t ready to talk, he would give her a couple of minutes. In the meantime, he would look around and get a feel for this place where she worked.

The dining room was a vision of modern elegance. The colors were muted, with bold swipes of color planted around. The filmy curtains were a stunning peacock blue. The tables were covered in clean white linens. It was very different from the old, sturdy hotel Greg had sent him out to scout a few years ago. This island resort had been one of the first deals he’d brokered for Greg. At the time, the place had been lovely but dated.

Even Cassie had noted the hotel’s old-fashioned feel on the many occasions he had taken her here before she’d died.

How much had Gabrielle contributed to the stunning rehab of the place? He saw touches of her aesthetic everywhere. She had exquisite taste. She had taken their home to an entirely different level.

Why had he never brought her here?

The waiter stepped up and smiled at Gabrielle with obvious affection. Cal had noticed that her staff seemed to adore her. That didn’t surprise him. His office staff had gone into mourning after she’d left him.

He couldn’t take his damn eyes off her.

Greg had said she was strong, but she looked fragile to him. She was lovely in a purple skirt and low-cut white blouse. The white of the blouse contrasted with her tan skin. Still, she was too thin. Was she eating properly? Working too much? How was stress going to affect her recovery? This was a stressful job.

He wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and let her know that he would handle everything from here on out. He would talk to her doctors. He’d already dealt with the bill collectors, but he didn’t mention they wouldn’t bother her again. If this worked, all she would have to do was rest and concentrate on being in remission. He would take care of her.

The way he should have the first time around.

“Are you ready to order your entrees?” the waiter asked.

They ordered and then were left sitting and staring at one another.

He had to make this easy on her. He couldn’t simply jump right on the topic. “So what’s the toughest thing about running this place?”

He would show her how interested he was in her work. Then he would gently try to take her away from her work. Yeah, that was the smart play.

“You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to keep a cleaning staff,” she explained with mirth in her eyes. She was so animated. Her eyes lit up when she talked about working at the resort. “They all come in and are excited about working at someplace this beautiful, but the first orgy they have to clean up after makes them think twice. Can you believe that Greg actually ordered cloth couches? They’re gorgeous, but do you know how hard those suckers are to clean? I switched everything to leather. It’s much simpler. He moaned about the cost, but then he saw how fast our cleaning bill went down.”

Her expression was so cute he had to laugh. Then he thought about the fact that she ran orgies and he frowned.

“What’s wrong, Cal? Don’t like the thought of your former sub organizing the orgy? That’s a terrible word for it. There is truly no organization to it. But I am the woman who makes sure the room is reserved and fully stocked with the two things every good orgy needs.”

“Dare I ask?”

“Condoms and Gatorade. Lots of electrolytes get lost in all that exercise,” she explained. “Sometimes I feel like a coach, you know. I load ’em up with fluids and send them right back on the field.”

He rather thought she was teasing him, like he was being a prissy ass. “I’m sorry. I suppose this is one of those things I likely won’t get over. Sex has always been too intimate to share with a group.”

Her eyes widened and he was surprised to find she had a “dumbass said what” face.

“I didn’t say I had a problem with public sex. I’ve got many exhibitionist tendencies. I have a problem having sex with the public. And yes, it bothers me that you would be on the sidelines during something like that. What if someone thought you were up for grabs?”

“I have security. And I’m not really in there,” she admitted. “I was teasing you. We have some monitors but I sit that one out.”

The waiter set their salads in front of them and walked away, hiding a smile behind his hand.

He leaned in, unable to hold back. “Are you sure this is the best place for you? Shouldn’t you be close to a hospital?”

They had tiptoed around the subject of her illness. She had acknowledged that she had cancer, but now it was in remission. It seemed to be all she was willing to say on the subject.

“I love the sun and beach,” she replied with a dreamy smile. “And Cody is a murse, so we’re good.”

“Murse?”

She speared a cucumber. “It’s his name for male nurse. Apparently, it’s a very hot job for a gay man. He claims to get a lot of tail out of it. Anyway, he also rides my ass about my eating habits and checks me on an altogether too often basis. He deeply enjoys taking my blood pressure.”

She popped the little vegetable in her mouth, her lips caressing it briefly before it disappeared.

Callum played with his fork. He wanted to reach out and grab her hand. He used to like to play with her fingers while they ate. Even better than that, when they were alone, he loved to pull her into his lap and feed her. During those times she was naked, of course. She was almost always naked for him. He took a quick swallow of his tea. The thought of pulling her close was giving him an erection. “I’m glad Greg hired him.”

“He wouldn’t give me the job unless Cody came along,” Gaby admitted.

They were silent for a moment, each halfheartedly eating the lovely salads in front of them. When had it gotten hard to talk to her? It used to be easy.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He carefully kept all accusation out of his voice.

Gaby’s gorgeous gray-green eyes suddenly found the white table linen endlessly fascinating. He noticed the fine lines on her face that hadn’t been there before. He wanted to lean over and kiss them, enjoying the lovely way her face was maturing. Somehow those lines didn’t take away from her beauty. They simply added texture and contour to the work of art that was her face. She would be beautiful at eighty.

He would still want her. He would never stop wanting her.

He reached out and forced her chin gently up. He looked into her eyes. “It might not have been the best relationship of your life, but I was honest with you. And I tried to take care of you.”

She nodded, her eyes wide. “It wasn’t your fault that you couldn’t love me.”

Every word out of her mouth made him feel guilty. “Did you think I would kick you out? That’s what’s haunting me—the idea that you thought I would be that cruel. How could you believe that?”

“I didn’t,” she replied. “I knew you would stand by me.”

He was terribly confused. “Then why did you leave?”

She was quiet for a moment, as though trying to figure out exactly what to say to him. “I got the news and it hit me hard. I tried to think of a way I could tell you and I kept coming back to the fact that you had already been through this once. I left because I knew how hard it was on you when Cassie died. I made the decision to not put you through that again. I was going to leave no matter what you said. If you had magically changed your mind and told me you loved me, I still would have left. I guess I needed to hear the words. I knew what you would say. I had to hear it from you so I could move on with my life.”

Of all the things he’d expected to hear, this hadn’t been one of them. He’d expected her to cry and tell him how she’d been scared he would reject her. Or that he would be angry and cold. But to hear that no matter what he’d said, he hadn’t had a chance? That she’d needed to trap him into saying something so she could move on? How could she have been thinking of moving on when all he’d been thinking about was her? “And it didn’t matter that I cared about you? It didn’t matter that I had built a life with you at the center?”

Her short brown hair shook as she sighed. “I was incidental to your life, Cal. I was something you collected, like your art.”

“How can you say that?” The accusation didn’t sit well with him. “I took care of you. I made sure you had everything you needed.”

“And you canceled most of the plans we made,” she said softly. There was no real heat behind her words. It seemed like something she had accepted a long time ago. “I remember our first anniversary. I planned an amazing meal. I made your favorite lasagna. I put on a French maid’s outfit and waited. Do you recall what happened that night?”

He felt himself flush. Yes, he remembered. He’d gotten a line on a group of buildings Greg had been eyeing for years. He’d left the office without even heading home. “I called you from the airport on my way to New York.”

“And my birthday?”

“I’m sure I forgot that altogether.”

She pushed her salad around on her plate, and he wished he’d never asked the original question. She’d been so happy talking about her work. “Your admin remembered. I should have known it was her. She sent me roses.”

He would never have bought her roses. “You hate roses. You like lilies.”

“I do,” she replied. “I guess your admin didn’t have a list of my favorite things.”

Now he did what came naturally. He reached out and took her hand. It was time to open up to her. He’d hated the last ten months with a passion. He was more than willing to apologize if it bought him a second’s goodwill with her. Despite his earlier promise, he wanted to end the evening buried deep inside her body.

“I am sorry about that, Gabrielle. Maybe I did pay too much attention to work, but you were always in my thoughts. I got flustered at that meeting in New York because I missed you. Sometimes I had to force myself to focus because if I didn’t, I would have called you just to say hello or to find out what you were doing and what you were wearing. If you look back at our relationship, you’ll remember that I actually did that often. I called you when I was away simply to hear your voice. Oh, I made up excuses. I gave you lists of things to do, but mostly I wanted to know you were there. And I wanted to pretend you were naked.”

“I’m sure I was wearing very little at the time,” she said with a wistful smile.

He squeezed her hand, a bit afraid to let it go. “I know I didn’t show it, but you were the center of my world. You weren’t a convenience for me. I thought I was building a life for us.”

“But you didn’t want to marry me or have children with me.” Her eyes were soft as she shook her head. “There wasn’t a future in that for me.”

He felt his mouth firm in frustration. He felt trapped, though, strangely, not by her. That night when she’d made her ultimatum, he’d been wrong to blame her. This was a trap of his own making. Despite what she’d said, he knew damn well if he’d handled her better, she would have been in his bed the next morning and inevitably she would have turned to him and told him everything. He’d reacted poorly. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake. “Does it have to be mapped out? Why couldn’t we just be happy? Why do we have to bring a bunch of kids into the equation?”

The very thought of children made his throat close up. Children were fragile. Children were small and vulnerable. Women still died giving birth. He couldn’t handle that, not if he had the choice.

She pulled her hand out of his. Her posture became rigid, and he missed her previous comfort. “We don’t have to do anything, Cal. We aren’t together anymore. You don’t have to worry about me having your unwanted babies.”

His fist hit the table. “Damn it. I didn’t say that. I certainly didn’t mean anything like that. You never once mentioned that you wanted kids before the night you left me. Not once. I thought we were on the same page. Can you let me catch up?”

“Will you?” She seemed more curious than truly interested in his answer to the question.

“I don’t know,” he muttered, irritated at the way the conversation had gone.

“It’s okay.” Her hands came out to cover his. She’d always been quick to comfort him. “Forget I said anything. How long are you here?”

“A week.” He loved the way her hands felt against his. He had one week to try to win her back.

“Can we shelve the relationship stuff? Look, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about us. I’m not sure we were ever going to work. It’s as much my fault as yours. I pretended to be something I’m not. I’m not as submissive as I played at. I like it for sex, but it was annoying outside the bedroom. I’m more independent now. I went through something that made me understand how strong I am. I’m not a slave anymore.”

“I never thought of you that way.”

She took a deep breath. “But a slave is what you seem to need. I should never have gotten involved with you. I wasn’t what you needed.”

How could she possibly think that? She had been everything he needed. He’d been as happy as he could have imagined himself being for the years they were together. At first, it had been about sex, but after about six months, he’d gotten comfortable and settled into the relationship. It had been the single best relationship of his life. He’d come to rely on it, on her.

She’d given him everything he could have wanted.

“You were exactly what I needed,” he admitted, a hole opening up inside him. “I wasn’t what you needed.”

She’d been right that night months ago. She’d played the role of his wife to perfection. She’d kept his house, hosted his parties and dinners, and kept the books. He’d never had to worry about anything beyond work. Between Gaby and his longtime assistant, Helen, he’d been covered on every front. Now, he wondered how hard it had been on her to think of herself essentially as an employee rather than a beloved female.

Her mouth curled up in the semblance of a smile. “I thought I needed you. It’s funny now. I was twenty-six and so sure that I knew what I was doing. I was sure that all you needed was time. I met you and I knew you were the one for me. It was like a lightning bolt.”

He remembered the night like it was yesterday. Greg had introduced them. He’d heard about Heather’s close friend for months, but he hadn’t cared. He hadn’t been interested in a relationship. Cassie had only been gone for a year when he’d met Gabrielle. It had been far too soon to think about anything beyond his physical needs. Annoyance had been his major emotion that night. He didn’t want to be polite to one of Heather’s friends.

All of that had changed the minute he looked at her. She’d smiled shyly at him, and he was lost.

“I knew you didn’t want anything serious…”

He cut her off. He wasn’t going to allow her to rewrite their history. “I signed a contract with you two weeks after we met. I know I wasn’t interested in marriage, but that contract was serious to me.”

She took a sip of her drink and nodded, obviously conceding the point. “All right. I’ll rephrase. I knew you weren’t interested in anything beyond a D/s relationship.”

He hated the way she put that but forced himself to remain silent. He wasn’t going to win her over by arguing semantics.

“So I became your perfect sub,” she explained. “I’d never been in a twenty-four seven relationship before. I never even wanted one, but I knew it was the only way to keep you, so I tried it. When I think about it, I was really arrogant. Stupid and way younger than I am now. I thought if I became exactly what you wanted, you would love me. I thought after a while you would realize how perfect we were together and we’d be married and have some kids and everything would be hearts and flowers and happily ever after.”

“I never promised you that.” He’d promised her the exact opposite.

“I know. It’s all right, Cal. I’m trying to explain. It wasn’t your fault. It was mine. I knew what you wanted, and I tried to change you anyway. It’s a mistake I’ve heard a lot of women make. You told me you would never love another woman, and I arrogantly thought I could change your mind.” She sat back in her chair, her shoulders straight, her head held high. “I was wrong to do that to you. I knew from the moment I met you that I wanted to marry you and have babies with you. I should have honored your feelings and walked away that night.”

He swallowed a long drink of Scotch, his hand clutching the glass like it was some kind of life raft. He wouldn’t have let her walk away. He’d known he had to have her.

“Instead, I forced us both to waste three years of our lives,” she continued. “So, I want you to know that I don’t hate you. I’m pissed at myself, but I certainly don’t hate you. You couldn’t help the fact that I wasn’t someone you could love. I know you feel bad because you didn’t know about the cancer.”

“You didn’t tell me.” He growled the accusation.

“Hey,” she said softly. It was the voice she used to soothe him. “I didn’t want to worry you. It wasn’t your problem. It was mine. I knew it would bring back all kinds of bad memories. You didn’t need to go through losing someone again and I wasn’t sure I would make it.”

His hands clenched. He wanted her to hold his hands again. “That wasn’t your call to make. You should have told me. You should have told me the minute you suspected something was wrong. I would have taken care of it. I would have taken care of you. I consider it tantamount to lying that you kept this from me.”

She shrugged. The negligent gesture enraged him. It took everything he had not to toss her over his shoulder and find someplace more private. “I wasn’t anything more than a nice body in bed with you, Cal. You wouldn’t have thought my body was so nice after chemo decimated me. And you were right. You don’t like silicone. You wouldn’t want me now. I saved myself some heartache. I have no doubt you would have done your duty by me. But that was all it would have been.”

“Goddamn it, Gabrielle,” he practically shouted. He slapped at the table, making everything on it jump. “Give me some fucking credit.”

He flushed as he realized he’d lost his temper in front of a roomful of guests. Curious eyes were all around him. Naturally his anger was utterly wasted on Gabrielle. She rolled her eyes his way and sighed. It made his hands shake with the need to turn her little rear over his knee and reintroduce her to the boss. His sub needed a spanking.

“Calm down, Cal,” she said in an even voice that set his temper on edge.

He leaned forward. “I am trying to be fair with you. I’m trying to have a conversation about this rather than giving you a lecture.”

“How very kind of you.” There was a quirky smile on her face.

Her perky ass wasn’t all he’d smack. He’d spank her pussy, too. He’d slap at it until she begged him to let her come. By the time he was through punishing her, she wouldn’t be thinking of anything having to do with her illness or her insecurities. All that would be left was the driving need to orgasm. She might not understand it, but she needed their relationship more than ever. “Don’t push me, pet. I won’t hesitate to redden your rear in front of these people. They won’t help you.”

She frowned, but at least he got a blush out of her. “I’m not yours to discipline anymore.”

The last bit was said with no small amount of hesitance. It was still in her nature to obey him, to want his dominance. He still had a shot. He stared at her, trying to let her feel his hunger. He wanted her to sense the predator he kept carefully hidden behind designer suits. Maybe she hadn’t really known him. He’d never been forced to pursue her, so she’d never been treated to the beast he knew lived buried inside him.

“That is not your decision to make. You can take the collar off, but I’ll put it right back on now that I understand why you left. I fully intend to have that collar around your neck by the time I leave here. You’ll be on the plane beside me.”

She turned the slightest bit white as her fingers tightened around the fork in her hand. “I get that you’re angry. I did something that prevented you from performing the duties you feel you owed me. I understand you want to punish me.”

He made sure his eyes were very serious as he interrupted her. “This isn’t about punishing you, Gabrielle. This is about making things right. We should never have split up. I was wrong to allow you to leave. You left under a misconception. I intend to correct it.”

Her mouth tightened. “Do you have any idea how arrogant you sound? Allow me to leave? I wasn’t under a misconception. We had a difference of opinion. I wanted to get married, and you didn’t.”

His heart pounded, but he forced his face to remain relaxed. He’d known this was what he needed to do, and he was going to get through it. He’d made a terrible mistake ten months back. She could argue all she liked that she would have left no matter what, but he knew differently. He’d spent the last two weeks thinking about what he owed his submissive. Once he’d decided what he owed Gabrielle, he’d known his path was chosen. No matter what promises he’d made in the past. He had an obligation to her in the here and now. “I’ve changed my mind. We’ll stop in Vegas on our way home.”