Simon... Spellbound (Studs & Steel Book 6) by Heather Mar-Gerrison (1)

Simon… Spellbound

Studs & Steel #5

 

Heather Mar-Gerrison

 

Kindle Edition

Heather Mar-Gerrison Copyright 2018

 

Beautiful front cover design by

selfpubbookcovers/winterheart design

 

 

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronically or mechanically, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except where permitted by law. This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work.

 

 

 

Prologue

 

Bailey

 

Oh, my God. I really must have been losing my mind since breaking up with Joss.

Just what the hell was I doing here? It might have been a classy place but this guy was a total creep – even compared to Joss, he was bad... I really had to get out of here. I stood up and picked up my jacket.

He looked up with a puzzled frown as I stood up. “Hey,” he scowled at me and grabbed my arm as I made to leave, “Where do you think you’re going? We only just got here.”

I shrugged, “I have something better to do.” I said truthfully – even though it meant watching Netflix alone in my room – it was still preferable to spending another second in this twat’s company, “I’m going home.”

He shook his head, “Nuh-uh,” he said, “You’re not going anywhere. I was told on good authority that you were a sure thing.”

A sure thing? How fucking rude? I looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “And, uh, who told you that?” I asked.

“I believe she said she was your sister.” He grinned at me but it was really more of a snarl. In that split second moment all I felt for my foster sister was utter hatred. But no... Laura wasn’t that bad, he had to be exaggerating. She could be a right bitch when she wanted to be, but she wasn’t that bad… not deep down.

Taking a deep, calming breath I decided that I was prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt and to believe that she meant well and was trying to set me up with a new guy to make me feel better following my utterly disastrous relationship with Joss – after all, I was a better person than that… So why was there still that nagging feeling that I couldn’t let go of that she’d totally set me up with this creep? I made a mental note to give her a piece of my mind when I got back…

“Laura?” I scoffed, “Are you actually serious?” Would she really be so crass? Actually yes, she totally would but not in a malicious way. Laura was my foster sister and we were definitely not what you could call particularly close. It hadn’t always been that way – when we were little we got on great guns... It was just lately that we’d become a little more distant with each other – what with both of us looking for boyfriends…

I shook my head as he continued to grin at me in that predatory way – I was no one’s bitch… “Well, she was mistaken – and she’s not my sister anyway, dickhead, she’s only my foster sister and we don’t really get along.” Okay so it was a lie but I was beginning to get a little desperate, “I’m guessing she thought this was some kind of joke, so I’ll apologise on her behalf and I’ll be on my way.”

His grip on my arm got tighter and his expression turned ugly. Well, that was just great, wasn’t it? I could see that I was going to have to show him that being gay didn’t mean being a pansy as so many people seemed to labour under the misapprehension of… “Let go of my arm, dude.” I said in a warning voice.

“Hey!” Another voice to my left shouted, making us both jump. I turned to find the most gorgeous guy I’d ever had the pleasure of seeing stood in front of me and Dickhead looking heartily annoyed, “You heard him,” he snarled, “Let go of my friend’s arm.”

I was about to open my mouth and tell him quite indignantly that I was not apprehending Dickhead at all when Dickhead spoke and I realised that Gorgeous was actually speaking to him.

“Your friend?” Dickhead sneered, looking him up and down as if he were a cockroach or something equally as horrible.

Gorgeous took a step closer, “That’s what I just said, isn’t it?”  He asked sarcastically.

Dickhead dropped my arm and snorted, “He was a crap date anyway,” he muttered and walked away.

I turned towards Gorgeous, “Thanks.” I said awkwardly, “I was handling it – but thanks for the support all the same.”

He just smiled and nodded, “Glad to be of help.” He said sticking his hand out, “My name’s Simon, Simon Porter.”

I grinned and took his hand in mine. It was warm and slightly roughened making me wonder what he did for a living. “Bailey.” I said, “It’s uh, it’s really nice to meet you.”

Simon nodded, “Likewise.” He said looking at me with unguarded interest, “Do you really have somewhere you have to be, or would you like to stay for a drink with me? I promise I’m not a creep and I will let you go whenever you’re sick of me.”

I grinned. Being hit on by someone that looked like him was rare – and very welcome… “A drink sounds pretty good actually.” I agreed.

 

 

Chapter 1 – Wading in…

 

Simon

 

Sitting in my booth at the club I rarely frequented, while nursing my glass of cola, just to be doing something rather than being at home on my night off where it was becoming more than unbearable to be, I couldn’t help overhearing a conversation going on in the booth right next to me.

Some guy was having a drink with another guy – but the arsehole of the two of them seemed to be under the impression that the other one wanted to go home with him – and that really wasn’t what it sounded like to me…

“Let go of my arm, dude.” His voice had gone up in volume and he sounded kind of annoyed as opposed to scared, but you know how you get a feeling sometimes?

That was it. I’d heard enough… I shot out of my seat and rounded the corner, “You heard him.” I snarled, “Let go of my friend’s arm.” I’d acted on instinct and well before I’d even had a good look at the aggressor. I wasn’t unduly worried – being built like a rugby player (I played at school but I really didn’t fancy ending up with cauliflower ears or a broken nose and missing teeth and gave it up before I left for university) I was pretty well built and strong enough to take on pretty much anyone – that said, I wasn’t a street-fighter kind of guy and I wouldn’t dream of carrying a knife – but I knew nothing of this guy... At this point I still hadn’t even looked at the guy being manhandled. As much as I knew, he might have been totally able to take care of himself for all the notice I’d taken before wading in. It was a terrible weakness of mine...

I decided to check at that moment and I’m not gonna lie to you, my knees about buckled when he looked around at me with a slightly surprised look on his beautiful face. Holy fucking shit, Date Guy was the most beautiful guy I’d ever laid eyes on – and since he was on a date with another guy, I was pretty confident that he must also be gay…

The bully decided it was time for a sharp exit as he looked up, and up again (six feet five – what can I say? I’m huge) and Date Guy smiled up at me, “Thanks.” He said, “I was handling it – but thanks anyway.”

I smiled back at him, my heart in my mouth. He had dark wavy hair and dark brown eyes that I swear were made up with mascara and a little guy liner – something I’d only used when I was staying over at a friend’s house or when Mum and Dad were away on business. They would totally freak if they saw me wearing anything other than jeans and a tee shirt and make up was definitely not an option at home – it was something they would never accept in a million years.

Date Guy was looking at me with open interest but I had no idea what I was going to do now that I’d charged in and helped – I was utterly crap at the whole chatting up thing. Hell, I was crap at the whole dating thing, truth be known...

My brother had come out when I was only around thirteen but his confession that he was gay had struck a chord with me. It had never really occurred to me that I didn’t really find girls all that attractive like some of my mates did. I’d just thought I might be a bit too much into rugby – but actually it was because I liked the guys that played rugby...

My parents reacted badly to Buzz coming out and that made me feel really uncomfortable about doing the same, so I played it down, telling them I thought I might like guys as well as girls and then, I actually allowed them to try to talk me out of it.

 Since they were now convinced that they’d had me cured, I was terrified of anyone ever finding out and enlightening them again.

Still, there was something about this particular guy that I couldn’t help being drawn to. I stuck my hand out – I know, I know – I’m way too formal and old before my time… “Glad to be of help,” I said, “My name is Simon.”

His answering smile made my heart beat even faster. He grabbed my offered hand and pumped it, “I’m Bailey.” He said, “It’s really nice to meet you.”

 

 

Chapter 2 – Knight in shining armour?

 

Bailey

 

I got home a couple of hours later – with Simon’s phone number and a promise that he’d call if I didn’t.

Rich, one of my foster dads was still up when I got in. To be fair, we weren’t really their foster kids anymore – we totally just lived with them still, having both turned eighteen a while ago. Hell I was twenty already and Laura was nineteen. We’d just been with them since forever and they wouldn’t hear of us leaving them just because we’d become young adults and they no longer got any funding. I loved them so much. They were my parents as far as I was concerned – and Laura’s too.

He looked up from his laptop, “Hey Bailey.” He said with a grin, “Good night?”

I shrugged, “I’ve had better,” I said, “…And worse.”  I added as I recalled Simon and his incredible body and cute face. Damn, he was everything I’d dreamt of in a boyfriend…

He frowned, “Wasn’t this a friend of Laura’s?” he asked.

I shrugged, “Yeah, well…”

He shook his head, frowning at me, “What happened?” he growled.

“He wasn’t a nice guy.” I said shortly, “Let’s just leave it at that, shall we?”

Rich’s frown became a scowl, “Do you need me to have a word with her?”

I shook my head, “I dealt with it – he won’t be bothering me again.” Thanks to Simon…

Rich raised an eyebrow, a small smile on his face, “So if it didn’t work out with him – where have you been until this time?”

I couldn’t stop the wide smile from breaking out across my face, “Well, as it happens, I met this other guy…”

Rich nodded, his smile growing as he looked at me hopefully, “And?”

I sighed. He might have been the most beautiful guy on the planet but there was something about him that made me think he was so deeply buried in the closet he’d have to dig his way out, “Well, if he is gay – I uh, I don’t think he’s out.” Understatement of the century…

Rich sighed along with me, “Then keep looking,” He said shortly, “You’ve nothing to be ashamed of and that’s the way he’ll make you feel if you allow him to.”

I shook my head, “No, I don’t think he will – we exchanged numbers – I’m... hopeful, Rich.” And I really was. For the first time in a long time, I’d met someone who made me feel alive and excited and looking forward to the future.

Rich nodded, “Well, just so long as he doesn’t try to pull you back into the closet with him, son.” He muttered, “you’ve had enough to deal with recently – what with that Jools fellow.”

I smirked, “Joss,” I corrected.

“Whatever his name was,” Rich grumbled, “He didn’t deserve a boyfriend like you.”

I smiled, “Don’t worry about me,” I said, “I’m out and proud and I’m never gonna let anyone bring me down again.”

Rich smiled at me fondly, “Good for you.” He said, and then chuckled, “You were out and proud even when you were only five years old.” He said, “Chris and I both knew – even when you first came to stay with us, you brought one prize possession with you – your fairy princess bike. It was too small for you and really needed throwing out but you wouldn’t have any other – and you came home all excited from your first day of school saying you’d met the most perfect boy and that you were going to marry him, just as soon as you were both all grown up.” He chuckled.

I chuckled along with him, “Well, it didn’t seem weird at all to me – I had great role models in you and Chris – and Nathan Matthews was... well, Nathan Matthews,” I said with a bit of a sigh. Christ, Nathan was everything I’d ever wanted growing up, “He’s a great guy and damn, he’s still beautiful.”

Rich laughed with me, “Beautiful,” he agreed, “But sadly, straight as a die.”

I nodded, “Yeah, well,” I shrugged, a big grin all over my face, “can’t win ‘em all – he still loves me.”

Dad grinned and nodded, “But not as much as he loves his wife.” He reminded me with a wink.

It was true, Nathan and Sophie had dated since they were sixteen and had gotten married a year ago after five years of dating. As his best friend, I was his best man even though most people probably thought I’d have been better suited as a bridesmaid...

I was blessed with good friends that accepted me for being the way I was without thinking there was something wrong with me. It made me wonder what sort of a life Simon had, to be so reluctant to be out…

 

 

Chapter 3 – Sneaking around…

 

Simon

 

I sneaked back into the house, my heart in my mouth. I’d moved back in with my parents a couple of months back after graduating from university. I still hadn’t gotten around to admitting that my degree was in Art and Design rather than engineering as Dad believed – long story...

Previous to moving back here, I’d lived with my brother and a couple of our friends and things had been great for a while. Inevitably, now that we were all in our early twenties we were meeting other guys – and in Seth’s case, girls. Seth was the first to move out. He and his girlfriend had moved in together with her son and they had been blissfully happy and I knew that Seth had been planning to ask her to marry him later on in the year, when her life had been cut short and his had been changed forever. He’d been badly hurt in the car accident too. Thankfully, he was going to get better but still being in an induced coma to assist with the initial damage to his skin through the burns he’d sustained, it was going to be a long, slow, process.

After Seth left, Buzz, my brother, was approached by the owner of the flat and asked if he wanted to buy it. He jumped at the chance and I’d rented a room off him for a while, but I was staying over at my mates’ houses more than I was staying there since we kept different hours to each other – and once he’d started to get serious with Franz, which happened incredibly quickly, it made more sense for me to move out permanently. It was all well and good staying with friends, and River and Jodie had been kind enough to let me stay with them – and we got on really well – but night after night of hearing those two having absolutely awesome sex got a little tiring after a while – or maybe I was just horribly jealous that I didn’t have my own guy to have awesome sex with, I don’t know – all I knew was that I had to get out of there but it was a huge mistake to move back with my parents and I’d regretted it almost immediately. It was only ever supposed to be a temporary measure – I hated having my wings clipped once I’d been free to do as I pleased – and I’d been looking more or less constantly to find a reasonably priced flat or maisonette to rent ever since – but I still didn’t have a full time job and even though I was working at Studs and part time at another bar there was no way I could afford my own place at the moment without having a roommate to share the costs with.

Looking ahead, I guessed that Seth would probably need a little help with the upkeep of his place, he definitely had room at his place and it would be a great solution – but I couldn’t very well bother him about that now. For starters it would be completely insensitive of me – he’d just lost the love of his life – he certainly didn’t need me reminding him of that fact while he was trying to learn to walk again, and having skin grafts and the like, which they would no doubt have to do... On the other hand – he wasn’t earning anything much at the moment and he needed someone to pay the rent... Maybe I’d have to talk to Peyton about it. He was close to Seth, having Siobhan and Will in common with him...

Heaven only knew what was going to happen once Seth got out of hospital but right now he was in no fit state to discuss it, having been put into an induced coma for a few days following the accident. I was hopeful he’d be awake next time I went to see him.

Day to day living with Mum and Dad was pretty much the same as it had always been and I might be twenty-two years old but if my parents found out where I’d been last night – well, let’s just say it could start to get awkward since I was playing the straight card around them at the moment.

Dad had finally accepted that Buzz was a lost cause – and weirdly got on really well with him these days – well, he had to really after Buzz saved his life with a bone marrow transplant – and he really liked Franz too. But where he and Mum had once rolled their eyes and chuckled that I thought I was gay – they really didn’t wear it well once I’d brought a couple of boyfriends home.

Buzz was totally unaware that after putting up with their awful attitude for a few months, I’d told them I’d made a mistake and that actually I was pretty certain that I was straight after all. I’d never told Buzz that I’d lied to them, and quite clearly Mum and Dad had never mentioned my straight status because I’m quite sure that Buzz would never have agreed to save Dad’s life if he knew.

Once they could see that I wasn’t about to start dating girls again, their whole demeanour changed towards me. Instead of being breezy about it, as they had been in the beginning, things started to get a little nasty.

They tried everything they could think of – apart from beating it out of me – thankfully they didn’t agree with physical violence... They’d bought me pretty much anything I desired on the understanding I dated only girls and they’d even tried taking me to the doctor – who told them I was as healthy as a horse and that they had problems, not me – but they still refused to accept me for they way I was. They hadn’t been any better when they found out about my older brother, Buzz. Well, obviously Buzz wasn’t his real name – his real name was Barnard – which I always thought was kind of cool but he hated it, so...

Buzz was sorted out these days. He and Franz just worked... And he’d never given a fuck about what Mum and Dad thought anyway. He was totally my hero...

I guess part of Mum and Dad’s issue with me being gay was that I was, in their eyes, their only chance for grandkids to continue on the Porter name... I was constantly battling with myself as to whether I should tell them the truth – that I was a raving queer and there was no hope of me ever dating a woman or to continue to pretend. Maybe I would when I’d found somewhere else to live, but right now it was better that I continue to pretend that I’d seen the light and realised that I was straight – even if I had thought I’d met my perfect man this evening – hell, they’d only totally freak out again if I brought a guy home – and probably ground me for the next hundred years or so, too even though I was an adult and had been for the past four years…

I removed my shoes and stole up the stairs in my socks. I’d just made it into my room and into bed when my door opened. I jumped violently. Fuck. Busted...

I needn’t have worried; it was only my sister, Darcy. She knew I was gay – as, I suspected, my parents did underneath it all – but they didn’t agree with homosexuality and were therefore perfectly happy to pretend it wasn’t happening. They were good at ignoring what they didn’t agree with.

Darcy grinned at me, “Meet any hot dudes?” she whispered.

I shrugged. Bailey would definitely rank as a hot dude and I’d met him – so I could totally agree with her – but I’d hardly made a connection. “There was this one guy that was kind of cool.”

“And was he gay?” she gazed at me with unmistakable love in her eyes. Darcy had never judged me – well, either of us...

I nodded, feeling utterly delighted that I hadn’t imagined it. He really had been interested in me… “Yeah, he was – and out and proud too – I felt totally stupid around him.”

Darcy sighed. “You’ve got to just tell Mum and Dad that you’re not gonna put up with their passive bullying any longer. You’ve got a life to live, Si – they can’t make you straight!”

I nodded. “I do know that, Darcy,” I said, “I’m just gonna have to leave home again I think – if they get wind of me being out and seeing guys they’ll just throw me out anyway.” They’d thrown my brother out years ago and they hadn’t talked for years. I didn’t want that – despite their ignorance, I did love my parents...

Darcy nodded, “Yeah, I know.” She said, “But don’t you dare leave me with them – if you go – I’m damned well coming with you!”

 

*

 

That actually wasn’t a bad idea. I was twenty-two – it wasn’t like I couldn’t move out – and I’d been away from home for almost two years previously anyway. Living with my brother and his friends had been absolutely liberating.

Darcy was going to university later on in the year – maybe if she rented a place with me instead of going into halls as she’d been planning things could work out for us both nicely. She wasn’t going far and could easily commute from home, but we’d argued pretty successfully that she needed to get the full uni experience by moving out – even though we all knew that it was just to escape the Porter regime...

It was definitely worth looking into. Maybe we’d have to talk about it...

 

 

Chapter 4 – Joss…

 

Bailey

 

I woke up with a boner, which wasn’t really all that unusual – but mostly when it happened it was because I had a thing going with someone…

Sadly, I hadn’t had anything going with someone for a while. My last attempt at a relationship had ended with me nursing a broken heart when my wonderful boyfriend turned out to be a cheating bastard.

I’d invested a whole lot of myself in the relationship and I’d been absolutely convinced that he was the one – what I hadn’t been aware of was that while he was dating me – he was also seeing this older guy on the side who had a lot of money and owned a gay strip joint. The real stinger was that I was also unaware that my boyfriend Joss performed for him with other guys (and it wasn’t only stripping they were doing) at the strip joint and usually ended the night blowing the owner in front of all the punters.

I found out by going to the strip joint with a group of friends who wanted to help me celebrate my twenty-first birthday in style.

Joss had told me he was away on business and that he’d make it up to me. I was so blindly in love with him that I believed every sugar coated word he came out with.

Imagine my horror when the entertainment was my boyfriend being sucked off by some other guy on the stage and then going on to perform other sexual acts on each other that required condoms. Most of my mates are gay so they were totally into the entertainment. Nathan was a little disgusted but more for the fact that Joss was supposed to be my boyfriend and therefore faithful, than what was actually going down – let’s face it – sex is sex and is therefore a turn-on no matter what orientation you are...

I’m not even sure if Joss sucking off the owner of the club was the end of the performance because I didn’t stick around long enough to find out, but he confessed to me the next day that he was also in a relationship with him and had been for almost as long as he’d been with me. He laughed when I told him we were over. “Well, I kind of gathered that.” He said, ‘No hard feelings, huh?”

No hard feelings? Seriously? The guy was truly heartless…

I felt absolutely devastated and Nathan had been my absolute rock that night and many nights after. I’d cried on his and Sophie’s shoulder for a long time after that night.

Obviously I finished things with Joss, but every now and then – probably when he’d fallen out with his boss, he’d call me, trying to rekindle things – telling me he regretted everything that had happened. I didn’t want to be anything other than someone’s number one though – so no, thanks – not a chance, buddy... Thankfully, he hadn’t called me in a while.

My thoughts drifted to the previous evening and that guy that had just appeared from nowhere and shooed away the irritating guy that wanted more from me than I was willing to give. He wasn’t even bothered that the guy was built like a tank – I’m guessing that was because he was built similarly himself – but regardless, he’d taken care of the situation and that sort of confidence did something to my insides. He’d been sexy without even realising it. He didn’t seem to have any idea what sort of an effect he’d had on me. He seemed embarrassed to have even been thanked. It was stupid of me to be interested in him since he was most definitely not out, but damn, he was beautiful… I’d gotten a number from him just in case – I just hoped it really was his number and not a fake…

 

*

 

I sat up in my bed and started stroking myself. I needed to get a little relief and it wouldn’t take long to do. I allowed my thoughts to drift to the gorgeous blonde guy from last night. Imagining that it was his lips around my dick rather than my own hand, I gasped as I came in my boxer shorts. Damn, that was good… Opening my eyes and blinking a little as my heart rate returned to normal, I reached for my phone. I didn’t even think before I’d hit the call button. I was going to damned well call him and ask him out…

 

 

Chapter 5 – Trouble…

 

Simon

 

When my phone lit up and started dancing towards me on my bedside, my first thought was one of alarm. No one ever called me – the guys at Studs knew only to call in an emergency – otherwise we communicated by text messaging. I’d programmed them all with alternative names, apart from my brother and his boyfriend, who, as I’ve mentioned previously, my parents now begrudgingly accepted.

They wouldn’t accept me working at a gay nightclub though, so they had absolutely no idea I was a dancer and bar tender at the same club as my brother was a bouncer.

My relationship with my parents, since I told them I was gay at fourteen, had never been the same. Mum had sobbed her heart out that someone had ‘turned’ her little boy. She blamed everyone – including herself – that I’d somehow turned out ‘wrong’.

It didn’t occur to her that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me – that I was actually a perfectly functioning human being that happened to prefer boys to girls. So fucking what?

Dad was even worse. He decided to try to shame me out of me. When that didn’t work he tried religion. I decided to let him know at that point I was an atheist, which incensed him even further. He enrolled me in the army cadets to make a ‘real’ man out of me. Well, that was a total waste of time and effort on his behalf. I had absolutely no interest whatsoever in a career with the armed forces and I didn’t enjoy any of the practical subjects. I’d always wanted to go to Art College but Dad refused to let me go there…

So, like I said earlier. I ended up telling them that I’d been wrong, that I did really like girls and, utterly delighted – even if he was completely in denial about me, Dad starting taking more of an interest in me and tried his hardest to shape my future as a real man. He even ‘helped’ me apply to university. I applied for an engineering course on Dad’s advice (well, instruction was probably a better word). As I’ve briefly mentioned earlier, I dropped out of that course and changed it to the Art and Design course – and I’d never looked back.

I never told my parents that I’d swapped courses and as far as they were concerned I was looking for a job to do with my engineering degree. It couldn’t be further from the truth. I had no real idea what I wanted to do as a job and I’d been working at Studs and at another pub for months now, trying to get some money together to be able to move out.

I had a pretty healthy bank balance now but it still wasn’t enough. I definitely needed a better job.

I’d vaguely wondered about being a tattooist but I wasn’t sure that my designs would be what the general public would want. I wasn’t exactly what you’d call confident in myself.

I’d been a part of the LGBTQ group at university and had a lot of gay friends. None of whom I’d ever introduced to my parents. Well, what was the point? They’d only be rude beyond all reason to them, anyway. I’d been really lucky to have been close enough to my older brother that he’d gotten me a job at the club he was a bouncer at – and I’d made some really cool friends there while I’d been studying. I stayed over so often that I eventually moved in with him and his mates – things had just fallen apart more recently – since they’d all found love...

I picked up my phone. It was the guy from the pub the other night. My heart started to beat a little faster. Holy shit! What was I gonna say? What was he gonna say? Was this the moment I found the love of my life, too? Don’t be a dick, like that’s ever gonna happen? I pressed the accept key, “Hello?”

“Simon?” his deep, melodious voice came through loud and clear, and making my dick twitch with immediate interest. “It’s Bailey.”

Bailey. That sounded nice, “Uh, hi.” I sat up and ran my hand through my hair. He couldn’t see me of course but I couldn’t seem to help it.

“I, uh – I wondered if you were doing anything tonight – there’s a movie on at the flicks, I fancied – I uh, I wondered if you’d like to come with me?”

Would I like to come with him? Hell, yes! I’d fucking love to come with him! “Uh, what time?” I asked pathetically.

“The showing is at seven – I thought we could meet at around five, maybe we could get something to eat…” he trailed off, sounding nervous.

“That sounds amazing.” I said, “Where are we meeting?”

I could hear the smile in his voice as he told me where to meet him and I ended the call with the biggest smile – and the biggest boner – I’d sported in months.

 

 

Chapter 6 – First date...

 

Bailey

 

To begin with, our first date was a little strange. We met and found somewhere to have a burger before the show and as we sat devouring our food, we somehow managed to get onto the subject of our exes and spent the first half an hour, at least, grumbling to each other about how terrible our exes had treated us – although it wasn’t really to each other, we were kind of lost in our own little worlds as we filled our faces, it was kind of weird...

“I wouldn’t have minded so much, but he could have spent that time, effort and money on me – instead of his fancy piece…” Simon was glaring at his tall glass of coke and turning it around and around, wiping his fingers down the glass to wipe off the condensation. It was kind of hot to watch. I was totally imagining his hands somewhere else... But to be fair, I was grumbling just as badly about Joss...

“He didn’t have to lie to me.” I grumbled, not even hearing his lament. It would have just made things easier. I’d have finished with him months before he could have humiliated me. It wasn’t so much that he was cheating – it was that he was cheating so fucking openly and all of our so called ‘friends’ – friends that were actually his friends, not mine – knew about his penchant for performing when I was otherwise engaged. The bastards... Thank God I never trusted him enough to go bareback. I was eternally grateful for my inner voice that sounded suspiciously like my mother...

“Why couldn’t he just invest that time into us instead?” Simon continued, still glaring venomously at his pint.

I stared back at him helplessly, finally tuning in. Jeez, he was as fucked up as I was. “I don’t know, man,” I said, “I don’t know…” I let out a massive sigh. “They were just wankers.”

He nodded, “Yeah,” he said gloomily. “I’ve got a talent for attracting them.”

I chuckled, “Me too,” I agreed, “What does that say about us two?”

He chuckled with me, “I guess we’ll find out.” He said. Checking his watch, his eyes widened, “Hey, man,” he said, grabbing his drink and taking a massive swig, “we really need to move – the movie starts in ten minutes!”

I popped the last bit of my burger in my mouth and took a quick swig of my juice, “Right,” I agreed, “Let’s go!”

He took my hand, which sent a little thrill all the way through me, right down to my toes, and we headed across the street to the cinema.

 

*

 

“Did you enjoy the movie?” I looked at Simon, biting my lip. It was my choice of movie and I really had no idea if it had been his bag or not.

He smiled at me and nodded. “It was really good – I’m a total sucker for sci-fi movies.”

I grinned at him excitedly, “I have all the Star Wars movies at home – and all the Transformers, all the Marvel movies too...” Please come home and watch them all with me all night...

He chuckled, “Wow. You’re the perfect man.”

I grinned. I was beginning to think he was the perfect man for me too. “I’ve really enjoyed myself tonight – can we maybe go for a drink or something before we call it a night?”

Simon nodded, “Sure,” he said, “That sounds like a lot of fun.”

 

 

Chapter 7 – Perfect...

 

Simon

 

Oh, my God. Could he be any more perfect?

Bailey went to find a table for us to sit at while I queued at the bar for the drinks.

I came back to the table and put his drink down in front of him.

He picked it up and then put it down again without taking so much as a sip, “So are you uh, out to your folks?” Bailey looked me in the eye across the table.

My heart almost stopped and I swear I started to sweat. I hated talking about my homophobic parents and the fact that I lived a total lie was just totally embarrassing. Bailey had just totally busted me. I had no idea how he knew but I totally got the feeling that he did. Did I have a bubble above my head that shouted to the world that I was in the closet? I shrugged, “Well, they know I’m gay.” I said. I didn’t really know how to tell him the rest and to my shame, I kind of left him hanging.

To his credit, he changed the subject and we carried on talking about all sorts of other stuff – including my job as a dancer at Studs and Steel nightclub.

“Studs and Steel?” he asked, his eyes shining, “Wow! I’ve heard about that place.”

I nodded, “Yeah, it’s really cool and I’ve got a load of really good mates there too – my brother is the doorman.”

“Bouncer?” Bailey asked.

I shrugged, “I guess you’d call him that, really – the club needs another one if you ask me – the clientele has doubled in numbers since it opened.”

Bailey nodded, “Yeah, they’ve advertised for more staff, haven’t they?”

I nodded, “Yeah, I think so. I was considering taking on more hours, but I’m already committed to a bar-tending job in a small boutique restaurant – they pay’s pretty good there and the hours aren’t all through the night – it can get exhausting working all night every night.”

He chuckled, “It sounds as if you’re a very busy guy.” He said, “So what were you doing last night, then? Apart from swooping in like Superman and saving me from the date from hell?”

I shrugged, grinning at the hero acknowledgement, “I guess I was just trying to have a little alone time.” I said, “Is that a bad thing?” I was flirting a little – he was so damned good-looking I just couldn’t help myself.

He sucked in a breath and regarded me with slightly narrowed eyes, “I’m not sure,” he said, “If you’re okay hanging out in gay pubs, it’s bound to happen at sometime or other. Is it gonna cause you trouble? ‘Cause I’ve gotta warn you – I usually try to avoid trouble.” I got that by trouble he meant, I avoid guys that are in the closet, but he was smiling at me, “I think I might like your sort of trouble though. In fact I’m thinking I could do with a healthy dose of trouble like you in my life.”

I beamed at him, “Bring it on.” I murmured.

 

 

Chapter 8 – Interview...

 

Bailey

 

The next morning I woke up feeling a little worse for wear, which wasn’t the best idea, since I had a job interview. I’d known about it the night before but I really wanted to see Simon and I really didn’t expect it to be such a successful evening. We finally parted company after a few rather nice goodnight kisses at 2am.

Still, at least I hadn’t been drinking and was able to drive to the club where I hoped I’d be working before long. I’d been between jobs for too long.

I took the relatively short drive to the club and got out of the car. I heaved a sigh as I looked at the club. It wasn’t much to look at from the outside. The large shiny signage was kind of cool. Big block lettering shouting out to all of the neighbourhood that this was the gay club to be seen at ‘Studs and Steel’ wasn’t quite so dramatic in the daytime without the dramatic white lighting but it was still pretty impressive.

The club wasn’t open until the evening but the interviews, for the extra bar staff, were being held today and I was, as usual, early.

There were a few cars parked up in the car park. That would likely be the management but I doubted any of the other staff were within the place – why turn up for work when you weren’t being paid?

I made my way over to the doors wondering the whole time if this was a really bad idea. Simon might not like me applying for a job at his place of work...

I was surprised when the door opened as soon as I got to it and I found myself eye-to-eye with a friendly face.

“Hi,” he said, sticking his hand out to me, “I’m guessing you’re either Bailey or Raife, since we’ve already met and hired Jaime.”

I nodded, my heart sinking a little that I was up against two other far more interesting sounding guys, “Bailey,” I said a little breathlessly, “I’ve got an interview...” Well of course you have an interview you great turd.

The guy grinned, “Don’t be nervous.” He said, “Rob’s a total pussy-cat.”

I chuckled, “Really.” I asked sceptically.

He nodded, “Honestly.” He said, “He thinks we’re all his extended family – you’ll fit right in, I’m sure.”

I frowned. I wasn’t built anything like him, that was for sure, “What do you do?” I asked.

He grinned, showing brilliant white teeth, “I’m Buzz, the doorman.” Buzz? Hang on a minute – was Simon’s brother? Why the hell did he have a name like Buzz when Simon was called Simon? I was so confused. I made a mental note to ask Simon when I next saw him.

Buzz was still smiling at me, “We’ve had to extend the bar hence the recruitment program – but I’m guessing we may have to recruit another bouncer or two – this place is getting more and more popular and I’m good,” he flashed another amazing grin, “but I can’t be in two places at once – as much as everyone seems to think I can.” He chuckled.

I nodded slowly, “Yeah,” I agreed, “I can see how that could be a problem.”

He grinned, “So if you have a bear of a boyfriend...?”

I blushed, thinking of Simon and wondering if he’d mentioned meeting a guy called Bailey – but then I dismissed the thought. One date didn’t make him anything like my boyfriend – yet – but I was definitely working on it... “Uh, I’m single at the moment.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Really?” he said, “I’d have thought someone like you would have the pick of the bunch.”

I shrugged, feeling my face heating up at the compliment, “Maybe I’m too picky.”

He nodded sagely, “Nothing wrong with being picky.” He said, “It’s how you end up with the racehorse instead of the donkey.”

I chuckled and nodded, “Nice analogy.” I murmured.

“Take a seat.” Buzz waved his hand in the general direction of the bar area. I looked around. It was absolutely stunning in here. I’d never been to the club on a night out. I tended to stick to the bars nearer to home – feeling safer there than venturing out to places like this but Simon had mentioned it and I was really curious. Maybe he’d come in when I was tending the bar and we’d get chatting... chance would be a fine thing.

I sat down and looked around. I can’t lie, I was absolutely bricking it. I’d helped out at the bar belonging to my uncle the year before while Id been on holiday in Greece. It didn’t mean I knew how to run a busy bar that was full to the brim with guys all wanting cocktails with weird names and weirder ingredients all night long...

Stop worrying, I commanded myself, you haven’t even met the boss yet...

Buzz had offered me a coffee and came over with it at that moment. “Rob’ll be with you soon.” He said, “And the dancers will probably be here soon too so you’ll have someone else to talk to – I’m just going back out to the door to greet the others.”

I nodded and waved my hand in the air to show that I’d listened to him, “Sure, sure.’ I agreed. My nerves were returning now that I was alone with my very nice cup of coffee. I breathed in slowly through my nose, trying my best to calm my nerves. The last thing I needed was to start off my IBS. That really would be a disaster – farting in the interview... or worse. I gave myself a mental shake. No need to even think about the worst happening.

 

*

 

“Bailey?”

I jumped slightly and looked up. A young guy, probably around the same age as me, maybe a little older, was looking at me with a smile.

I smiled back at him, “Yeah, that’s me.” I said as I scrambled to me feet. I stuck my hand out to shake his. He shook my hand heartily, “My name’s River and I’m one of the dancers here – you’ll actually be taking over my position at the bar if you’re taken on – we’re all doubling up our roles at the moment and while that’s okay – it’s a bit full on and the punters are getting a little pissed off that they’re coming to see a show that isn’t really happening at the moment.” He chuckled.

I laughed along with him. He was incredibly good-looking and totally charismatic. “I can understand that.” I said.

He nodded, “Oh, yeah.” He agreed, “Totally.” He smiled, “We’re all hoping that Seth – he’s the bar manager – will be back soon and everything will get back to sort of normal. It’s not the same without him.” He looked sad and I wondered what the deal was with this Seth guy.

“Is he on some sort of extended leave?”

River nodded, “Yeah,” he said, scratching his neck, “He was involved in a really bad car accident a week or so ago – his girlfriend was killed and he was really badly injured – he severely broke his leg and suffered quite extensive burns. He’s in an induced coma at the moment.”

I winced, “Oh, my God.” I said.

He nodded, looking grave, “Yeah, it was awful.”  He seemed to shake himself and smiled ruefully, “Come on – I’ll show you to Rob’s office.”

I followed him through the club to the mirrored wall at the back of the club. My jaw dropped as one of the panels turned out to be a door, “Oh, my God.” I laughed, “That’s fucking awesome!”

River chuckled, “Yeah.” He said, “And no – it can get pretty embarrassing coming out of here at night when you’ve got guys humping against it and admiring the length of their dicks.”

I choked back a laugh, “They don’t?”

He raised an eyebrow, “Fuck, yeah they do!” he said.

Holy shit. What the hell was I getting myself into?

River opened the door and showed me inside. I sat down on the sofa and waited.

I’d heard voices around the club before River came to my rescue, but I hadn’t actually seen anyone – the staff quarters were clearly kept hidden from the main attraction, which I guess was a good thing. There were bound to be guys that got fixated with the dancers and it wouldn’t do for them to be able to get into the private areas of the club.

I waited a few minutes and then the door at the back of the office opened and Rob walked in.

I stood, feeling suddenly unbearably nervous again.

He smiled and strode forward, “Bailey,” he said with a smile, “Good to meet you.”

I nodded and tried to smile through my nervousness, “Good to m-meet you t-too.” I stammered.

“Hey – no need to be nervous – it’s not so much an interview as a getting to know you session – relax.”

I laughed and nodded, “Okay.”

Rob sat down at his desk and leaned back in his chair, “So,” He started, “What attracted you to Studs and Steel?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know really.” Great start. Way to go Bailey. Walk right out of the door now. “The advert kind of grabbed my attention and the place just looks really cool...”

He smiled and nodded, “Have you come as a guest before?”

I shook my head, “Uh, no.” I admitted, “I tend to stay closer to home when I go out.”

He nodded again, “And have you done bar work before?”

I swallowed, “No, sir, not really...” I admitted, my anxiety levels rising with every passing second. I’d pass out if I wasn’t careful. Suddenly my head started swimming and I lost most of my hearing. Time to escape before things got embarrassing.  I got up, “I don’t think I’m really cut out for this,” I gasped, “I’m sorry I wasted your time.”

I stumbled towards the door that led back out to the dance floor but in that second, the door burst open and two guys landed on the floor in front of me. They were laughing loudly and swearing at each other as they grappled with each other on the floor.

I heard Rob’s angry voice as if through a fog. My eyes were fixed on one of the guys on the floor. I recognised him immediately – I was kind of fascinated with him. Simon...

“Simon! Thai! What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

They sprang apart like a pair of dogs doused with water and looked up at Rob guiltily. “Sorry, boss.” The guy called Thai spoke up, a grin breaking out over his rather beautiful face, “Things just got a little out of hand.”

“I’m trying to conduct an interview in here.” Rob said, sounding more amused than angry.

I hadn’t been unable to take my eyes off Simon yet, and finally he looked up and our eyes met. His jaw dropped, “Bailey!” he exclaimed, a look of delighted surprise on his face that made me feel warm all over.

I nodded, “Hi, Simon.” I murmured. My panic attack was subsiding and my hearing had come back in full HD. Everything seemed louder than ever.

“What are you doing here?” He asked scrambling to his feet and dusting his jeans down, “I thought you said last night that you were concentrating on your studies.”

I shrugged, “I am – but I also need the extra money.” I shook my head, “but I totally blew it.” I laughed embarrassedly, “Had a panic attack before I even got started – so I was just leaving before I shit myself and really made a fool of myself.” Stop talking Bailey, for fuck’s sake – Rob’s still right there!

Simon frowned, “Hey,” he said, reaching out and taking my hand in his, calming me down almost the instant our skin touched, “You’d be great working here.” He looked at Rob, “Isn’t that right, Rob?”

To my surprise, Rob seemed to agree, “He’s certainly got the right look.” He agreed, “I was just about to tell him that we could start training him on the bar tonight, but he was trying to escape – so I guess I should thank you and Thai for being a pair of idiots and stopping him in his tracks.” He was teasing me.

I looked around at him in shock, “You’re really willing to give me a chance when you saw me go to pieces like that?”

Rob shrugged, “Everyone loses it sometimes.” He said easily, “We’re a family here – we look out for each other – and I can see that you and Simon already have a connection,” he smiled and his eyes twinkled. He was a fair few steps ahead of what was really going on between Simon and I but I was hopeful that he was right, “so I’m satisfied that we can work something out. How about a month’s trial?”

I nodded, “Wow, thanks.” I beamed at him, “That’s brilliant.”

He grinned, “Simon – can you show our new recruit the ropes? And has the other guy arrived yet? Raife wasn’t it?”

He nodded, “I saw Buzz chatting to someone earlier so I’m guessing that might be him. And the other guy starting was Jaime wasn’t it?”

Rob nodded, “Yeah,” he agreed, “Nice kid – pretty much completely deaf but in this place that’s probably an advantage.” He chuckled, “His lip reading is impeccable.”

Simon raised his eyebrows and nodded, “Right,” he said. Turning to me he smiled, “Come with me.” he said, taking my hand again, “I’ll give you the grand tour and then we’ll get started behind the bar.”

 

 

Chapter 9 – Magical...

 

Simon

 

That first day, showing Bailey around and watching him learn how to pull a pint and flirt with the clientele had been absolutely magical. He was really good looking – to the point of being kind of beautiful and it would be fair to say that I was really attracted to him.

It was manically busy for a few days after that though, and apart from seeing each other at work, there was little time for any further dates between us.

Finally, we both had the same day off and I really wanted to spend some time with him – but I also had to go to the hospital to see Seth and I didn’t really think it was fair to drag him along with me when he didn’t even know him.

I’d mentioned Seth a couple of times to Bailey but I don’t think he really understood just how close we all were at Studs – or if he would really understand that we really were just friends – albeit extremely close friends.

Seth was still in a coma, which was really beginning to get the guys and I worried. We’d all figured he’d be awake again after a day or two of them stopping the medication that had him in the induced coma – but it had been almost a week already, now since they’d reduced the meds and he was still unconscious. The staff didn’t seem to think it was strange, though, so we had to take whatever comfort we could in that.

 I hated hospitals. I hated the smell and the misery and the never-ending grey, soulless corridors that all looked the same. However, I loved my friend and he needed his friends around him while he battled to get himself fit and healthy again.

I turned the corner and spied out of the corner of my eye a young man that I vaguely recognised walking towards me. He was coming from the ward and it occurred to me that he’d been here the other day when I’d come with Buzz and Franz. I nodded as I passed him, figuring that he must be here to see a loved one too. I was a little surprised that he looked at me as if I was something to fear and scuttled off towards the exit. Jeez. I knew I was tall – but intimidation was never something I could be accused of possessing. I frowned and headed for the entrance to the ward.

I went up to the reception area and smiled at the woman sat down.

She smiled back at me, “Hello, there.” She said, “How can I help you?”

I cleared my throat nervously. Buzz had done the talking last time we were here, “I’m uh, here to see my friend, Seth Matthews.”

She nodded, “Ah, right – you do know that he’s not awake yet?”

I nodded, “Yeah,” I said, “I uh, I do know that – I just don’t like to think of him being here all by himself.”

She blinked, “Oh, he hasn’t been – you’ve actually just missed another one of his friends – Joel?” She was looking at me as if I was supposed to know who she was talking about.

I frowned. Joel? I’d never fucking heard of any Joel. I shook my head, “I don’t know all of his friends – I’m more a work colleague, really.”

She smiled, “Well, go on in – he’s in the room at the end.”

I nodded and still wondering who the hell Joel was, I opened the door and went inside.

His hair looked as if it had been stroked away from his face. Had the mysterious Joel done that?

Suddenly I wondered if the guy in the corridor was Joel. He’d looked quite a lot younger than us, though... I had absolutely no idea if he knew him or not – and besides, the guy could have been visiting anyone...

I sat down and thought about something I could tell him. I felt a little silly talking to him when he couldn’t even respond, but at the same time, it seemed completely pointless to sit here in silence.

I started to tell him a little about Bailey. “He looked so cute when Thai and I burst through the door and landed at his feet – you’d have laughed your head off, Seth.”

I sighed. I wanted to hear his low chuckle. It was amazing that someone so quiet and unassuming could be missed so much – but Seth was like the centre pin for the whole group of us. His mild manner was soothing somehow. Without him at the club, the atmosphere just wasn’t the same. We were all trying hard. Hell, Rob had the builders in, extending the bar – and it was coming on a treat, too, just so that things would be better for Seth when he came back to work.

“You should see the place, Seth – you won’t recognise it. All the seating down the wall has been ripped out and more’s been put in on the back wall instead and the bar now extends all the way down to the bathrooms – you’re gonna fucking love it!”

And so was I – because Bailey was going to be a more or less permanent fixture and I honestly couldn’t have been happier about that...

All too soon it was time for me to get going. I had to work at my second job tonight. I’d thought about asking Bailey to come and join me but I didn’t want him thinking that I couldn’t be bothered to take him on a proper date and I wasn’t really sure how I’d explain that I’d been to see Seth either.

The relationship we all shared at Studs was difficult to explain. Most people kind of assumed that we were all sleeping together, which was absurd but it was a common misconception.

I really didn’t want to get into any sort of disagreement with Bailey over my friendship with Seth – not that I thought we would but I wasn’t one for confrontation, so I chose to just not tell him that I was visiting him in the hospital. I should have done so from the outset – of course I should – but I’m a right nob when it comes to matters of the heart and I thought it would be better not to mention it. Yeah, yeah – call me a dick and let’s move on...

 

 

Chapter 10 – Fun...

 

Bailey

 

Working at Studs was, honest to God, the most fun I’d ever had.

The place had an amazing vibe. Full of young men all looking to find that special someone in their life – some of them were looking just for that night, others for a life-partner but all of them looking...

The bar was absolutely stunning since the renovations had been completed – in less than two weeks the place had been transformed – and now there were usually three of us behind our own little station along the entire wall. The cocktail bar, which would eventually be managed by the infamous Seth again, was currently being manned by the very beautiful and very deaf Jaime. He grinned and signed hello, at the same time as he said the words perfectly, as I approached and slid behind the bar to my own workstation, which catered more for beers and soft drinks.

I signed a hello back to him – we were all learning bits and pieces off him but we were nowhere near as fluent at it as his best friend, Fernando. Apparently, Fernando was straight but for a straight guy, he was sure as hell touchy-feely around his best friend – and it was obvious to anyone with eyes that Jaime was head-over-heels in love with him – not that we were crass enough to mention it. I guess things would work out or not...

I wasn’t about to criticise him for it – hell, I wasn’t much different. I was falling head-over-heels for Simon. The only trouble there was, I really couldn’t work out what he was really feeling for me. He seemed to really like me when we were together – and we’d had some really delicious, toe-curling kisses. When we were together everything felt absolutely right but that was the problem – moments together were kind of few and far between. I couldn’t really complain. I saw him every time I was working – so it was totally win-win. I got paid and I saw the guy I was very definitely falling for but I wanted to go on another date with him – only he never asked and I was becoming increasingly concerned that he felt more for this injured Seth guy than he’d ever feel for me. He talked about him so much and I can’t deny that I was fucking jealous. Seth seemed to be universally adored at Studs – and yet the guy was apparently straight and had lost his girlfriend in the accident. What the fuck was so special about him? I had to know... but who the fuck was I supposed to ask? I couldn’t very well ask Simon. That would just piss him off. To say our relationship was fledging was an understatement – it was barely getting off the ground...

And the downside of working together all of the time was that we got very few days off together – and every time we did get one together, he always seemed to have something else that he had to do other than to see me – like going to see Seth...

I kept telling myself that I had nothing to worry about – that Seth had been in love with a woman who died in the accident, so it was actually pretty unlikely that he’d ever want to have a relationship with my beautiful Simon – and I felt kind of ashamed of myself for jumping to conclusions...

But that wasn’t the only issue. The other thing that bugged me was that he never seemed to want to take me home. It might have been my imagination – and to begin with I really did think that I was just being paranoid. But the longer it went on – the more I began to think that although he’d met and gotten on really well with my family – he really didn’t want me to meet his...

“Hey, Simon – my folks are having a party on Saturday night – it’s kind of a barbeque but if the weather is really bad we’ll be eating indoors – we’ll just have to nip outside to get food from the barn.”

He frowned, “The barn? Do you live on a farm or something?”

I chuckled, “Nah, but Richard has a big old barn – it’s totally his man-cave – in the back garden and it’s got a brick oven built into it along with his massive barbequing area – you’ll love it.”

He grinned, “That sounds amazing.” He said, “What time do you want me to swing by?”

I grinned, “About seven?”

He nodded and headed back to his podium while I went back to serving cocktails with a big sappy grin on my face. I couldn’t wait for him to meet everyone.

After his dance session ended, Simon came back over to the bar and sat down on one of the empty barstools at the bar.

I grinned at him and put a bottle of water down in front of him. He’d probably want a beer later on in the evening, but I knew he preferred to hydrate before he went onto having an alcoholic drink.

“You look fantastic tonight.” He said as he placed his bottle back on the bar, “Have you done something different to your hair?”

I blushed, happy that he’d noticed. I’d had it cut and highlighted and my stylist – a really lovely guy called Jules – had done the most amazing job of straightening it and making it look awesome – until I next went to get it cut, in eight weeks time because between then and now, believe you me, I wouldn’t even get my straighteners out of the box... “Thanks,” I said, “I uh, yeah – I went to the barbers this afternoon.”

His look of appreciation made my dick start to harden. Fuck I fancied the pants off him.

He grinned, “Have you had your break yet?”

I shook my head, “No, I’m due half an hour in ten minutes.”

He nodded, “Cool, shall we, uh, go and get a little fresh air together?”

I nodded again, my dick feeling definitely hard now.

 

*

 

“Fuuuuuckkkk!” I groaned as Simon’s mouth closed around my cock.

I was sat on the roof of the building, my jeans and boxer shorts round my ankles as Simon bent over me, sucking my cock for all he was worth.

He moaned as he sucked me, little sexy noises in the back of his throat as he lapped and sucked and teased with his tongue until I thought I would lose my mind. Oh, my God! I’d never experienced anything like it.

“Is that good,” he panted as he pulled off me, his lips shiny and swollen with passion.

I nodded, “More than good – I wanna come all over you.”

He smiled, “That could be arranged,” he smirked as he pulled his tee shirt over his head, “But not on the tee shirt – the punters might go crazy if they see jizz stains on the clothes...”

Fuck. He was actually serious. Seriously? I could come on his chest? Oh, my God...

He sucked harder, pumping me as he did so. I watched him in fascination, just allowing him to suck my cock as I sat there. I was doing nothing for him – not that I didn’t want to. The ideas that were whizzing through my brain of all the things I could be doing to him as he sucked were getting me closer and closer to the edge...

“Oh, my God!” I yelled, “I’m really gonna fucking come!

He pulled off me just in time for me to come all over his neck and chest.

He smiled as he swiped his finger through a stream of come and licked it off his fingertip. “Mm.” He said, “Next time I get to swallow.”

I nodded dumbly, “Sure.” I agreed.

“And then I get to come on you too – and then maybe I’ll let you fuck me.”

My jaw dropped. Had he really just said that? I was so sure he’d be a top, “You bottom?” I asked.

He shrugged, looking a little embarrassed, “Sure,” he said, “Why not?”

Holy fucking shit...

 

 

Chapter 11 – Meeting the parents...

 

Simon

 

I couldn’t really tell how Bailey had taken my admission that I bottomed. He went a little quiet about it and that made me feel a little like I’d lost him along the way.

“You okay?” I asked a little later when we were back in the club.

He looked up, startled, “Uh?”

I smiled, my heart stuttering in my chest at his beauty, “I said, are you okay?”

He smiled back at me and relief flooded through me at his genuine warmth, “I’m more than okay.” He said, “I’m still totally buzzing – and I can’t wait to return the compliment.” He winked.

I chuckled, “Phew,” I said as I sat down. “I thought I’d freaked you out.”

Bailey blinked, “Why?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes, “With what I said about...” I stopped talking as a punter came to the bar for a drink.

Bailey sorted him out with a couple of beers and then turned back to me, “Hey,” he said, “I’m not gonna deny it – I was a little surprised that that was your preference – but I wasn’t put off – quite the opposite.”

I smiled, “Seriously?” I asked, “I know I don’t really look the part...”

He grinned and raised his eyebrows, “You look just fine to me, babe.” He said, “Just fine.”

 

*

 

It was great meeting Bailey’s foster parents, Richard and Chris – and the formidable Laura wasn’t even as bad as I’d expected her to be...

“So it was you who rescued Bailey from the evil clutches of Scott, huh?” She sidled up to me in the kitchen.

I turned to her and frowned, “Scott?” I asked, completely confused. Who the fuck was Scott?

She nodded, rolling her eyes in a similar fashion to the way Bailey did, making me smile. “The date I set him up on. I honestly thought Scott was a much nicer person than he turned out to be...”

“Ohhh,” I nodded, as I finally realised who she was referring to, “Yeah,” I agreed, wrinkling my nose, “No, he really was a total dick.”

She grinned, “Yeah,” she agreed, “But if it hadn’t have been for him being a total sleaze-ball – you and Bailey would never have met. You should thank me really.”

I smiled, “True.” I agreed, “I should probably thank you...” But there was no fucking way.

She nearly choked on her drink at my sarcasm, “Maybe.” She said with a laugh, “If you really want to thank me, find me a guy that’s totally straight and reasonably handsome, without the ego of the Hoff.”

I chuckled, “I don’t think he exists.” I said, “But I’ll keep my ear to the ground – although it’ll be slim pickings where I hang out and work.”

She laughed again, “I like you.” She said, “And I think you’re good for Bailey – he’s been so much nicer to be around since he’s been seeing you.”

I smiled. Good to know...

The only problem with meeting Bailey’s family – and they were all a really lovely bunch – was that it put pressure on me to introduce him to my folks. Something I would have really loved to do – if only they were worthy of him but they weren’t. Buzz and Darcy would be totally cool – Hell, Buzz was totally cool around him – but Mum and Dad were a far cry from Richard and Chris who were the two most welcoming men I’d ever met. My parents were nothing like his. They were pretty awful and I knew they would only make things awkward for him – and for me.

And I didn’t even know how to explain to Buzz that I couldn’t bring him around because Buzz was under the impression that Mum and Dad were cool with my sexuality and that I was always taking guys back. Fuck. I’d totally spun a massive web of lies and now it was all going to backfire on me in spectacular style...

I should have just explained things to Bailey. It would totally have been the simplest way out – but I felt embarrassed about my parents and I felt embarrassed about my inability to tell them the truth and so I ignored the problem, which was probably the worst thing I could have done. It just made things so much worse – it made him think that I wasn’t really interested in him, which couldn’t have been farther from the truth – I was very interested in him, in fact I’d fallen for him, hook, line and sinker...

 

*

 

We were sat in Bailey’s bedroom. His dad’s were totally cool with him having guys in his room, which was completely alien to me. I’d never been allowed to have anyone in my bedroom and neither had Buzz or Darcy. Mum and Dad were kind of old school like that.

“Are you sure it’s okay for us to be up here?” I asked nervously, “Won’t they keep coming up to check on us?”

Bailey laughed, “No, babe.” He said, “They trust me to make my own judgements now that I’m an adult.”

I nodded, feeling completely stupid. My parents hadn’t seemed to notice that all three of their children were becoming adults. There was only Darcy left to turn eighteen next week... “Right, right.” I stammered, “Course.”

He frowned slightly and looked as if he was going to say something, but he stopped himself and changed the subject, offering for us to play on his games console. Well, I was happy to do that...

We started to play but I could tell that there was something bothering Bailey. I wasn’t in the slightest bit surprised when he brought up my family.

“So uh, Buzz doesn’t live at home then?”

I shook my head, “Uh, no. He uh, left when he was sixteen.”

Bailey blinked, “Sixteen?” he squawked, “Christ, that was young.”

I nodded, “Yeah, he uh, he didn’t get on with Dad...” Fuck. This was getting into dangerous territory. I could feel my armpits beginning to prickle. I hated talking about them, hated it...

Bailey raised an eyebrow, “Oh, right – why is that, then?”

I shrugged, “They, uh, they just never really saw eye to eye. I guess it’s the way with dads and sons sometimes. He’s my stepdad so we’ve never really had the same sort of dramas.” Because I just rolled over and died and did as I was told to keep the peace...

“Right.” Bailey seemed to accept what I’d said and carried on playing the game. I bit my lip. It was on the end of my tongue and I could have totally gotten everything off my chest that I wanted to tell him about my shitty double life and my awful situation of pretending to be straight and having to hide everything I did, including my friends and now the most important person of all – him – from my parents. But the moment turned into five minutes and then ten, and then half an hour and the opportunity was lost. Next time. I’d tell him next time...

 

 

Chapter 12 – Clearing my head...

 

Bailey

 

I needed a walk. I needed fresh air and I needed to get my head on straight about my feelings for Simon versus his feelings for me.

Oh, I’m sure he liked me well enough – but for the way I was beginning to feel for him that wasn’t really enough.

I should have listened to Richard when he warned me off guys who were in the closet but I’d brushed off his words of warning as if they were nothing.

Why was he in the closet? Was it because his parents didn’t approve? Or was it because they didn’t know? What?

It wasn’t like he’d ever talked about them – even when I’d not-so-subtly tried to start a conversation the other night – he’d been vague and even when he’d mentioned his brother and his dad not getting on, he hadn’t talked about it in any great depth. Then again, he hardly talked about anyone else in his family either, apart from Buzz, his brother...

I wondered if I maybe should talk to Buzz instead – although that felt a bit like I was going behind his back and snooping on him. God I was in such a state. A walk would really help me – and Cyril...

Cyril was our neighbour’s dog and I’d been neglecting the poor thing for weeks since getting the job at Studs. It would be fair to say that I’d been leaving it pretty much to Laura – and that wasn’t really very fair of me. Cyril lived with an old gentleman called Ted, and he couldn’t really get out a lot anymore. Between Laura and I, we’d been giving Cyril, who was still a relatively young dog and needed plenty of exercise a run on the park for the best part of the last two years.

I pulled on my jeans and my hoody and grabbed the lead off the hook in the hallway. “I’m going round to Ted’s,” I shouted to anyone that might be listening, “I’m gonna take Cyril for a walk.”

I slammed the door behind me and set off for Ted’s.

Ted was delighted to see me, “Bailey, son!” he beamed at me when he’d finally gotten to the door. Bless him. I really should get a key cut so he could stay in his chair...

“Hi, Ted.” I grinned back at him, “Long time, no see.”

He nodded, “Ahh, you’ve got a life to live – fella’s to meet too, no doubt.” He winked at me and chuckled wheezily.

I grinned at him, “You know me so well.” I teased.

He nodded, eyeing me beadily, “You haven’t been avoiding them just because of one bad’un have you?” Ted knew all about my disastrous relationship with Joss, since I’d spilled my guts to him over a coffee and some custard creams months ago when it had all kicked off. I always went to Ted to offload – maybe I should talk to him about Simon too – only things with Simon hadn’t even gotten off the ground yet and I felt as if I was just whinging...

I shrugged. Truth be told I had been put off looking for someone since Joss had humiliated me – not consciously of course but now that I looked back on things – I really hadn’t gone out of my way to look for anyone since. The date from hell that Simon had rescued me from had been Laura’s idea. It was a wonder I even went. “Well, I guess I might have,” I admitted, “But I managed to meet someone regardless of that.”

He brightened, “And?”

I smiled, “And he’s really nice. Tall, good-looking. He’s a dancer too...”

Ted blinked, “A dancer?” he asked, “What sort of dancer?”

I could feel my face heating up and I giggled, “A pole dancer, actually – and he’s absolutely amazing at it.”

Ted’s jaw dropped, “You young’uns.” He chortled, shaking his head, “You’d have been lynched back in my day.”

I nodded. It couldn’t have been easy back in his day for guys like me and Simon and all the others at Studs. I was so glad I’d been born into this world and not Ted’s. “Yeah,” I agreed, “You’re probably right.”

He smiled at me, “So, are you taking Cyril out for me?”

I nodded, “I am.” I said, “I thought I’d take him down to the river.”

Ted sighed, “I’d love to come with you.” He said, “George and I used to love it down there.”

George was his late partner. They’d been together for more than fifty years when George lost his fight with cancer just two years ago and he still missed him terribly – as we all did – George had been the really flamboyant one of the two of them. Ted was a much more sedate man and now that he was alone, he was almost a recluse.

“I’ll look into getting you a scooter.” I said, “And then you can come with us.”

Ted smiled, “You’re so thoughtful, son.” He said, ruffling my hair with his gnarled old fingers.

I grinned, “So where is the lazy old beast?” I asked, “In the conservatory?”

He chuckled and nodded, “Yeah,” he said, “Go on through and get him.”

 

 

Chapter 13 – Best walk ever...

 

Simon

 

I picked up the lead that was hanging up in the hall next to my coat. We’d always had a dog, growing up and Rocky was the latest in a long line of waifs and strays that Mum insisted on bringing home from the shelter where she volunteered one day a week. See, she wasn’t all bad – she was just afraid of gay people...

Rocky was a nice dog – and I’d gotten pretty fond of him since he’d been living with us on a more or less permanent basis. He was definitely not a pedigree with his mismatched ears and too-short legs and too-long tail.

He looked up at me with his tongue hanging out and panting even though we’d gone nowhere yet. His tail was wagging happily. “Shall we go to the park?” I asked.

He looked up at me, his tail going a little faster. Rocky never barked. He just wagged his tail and whined occasionally. He was such a sweet old thing.

I hooked his lead on to his collar and grabbed a couple of poop bags. I always had a handful of treats in my jacket pocket. Pulling on my beanie hat and my gloves I opened the front door, “Come on then, boy.”

It was a freezing cold morning. The grass was frosted and crunchy to walk on and the sun was just beginning to get the upper hand through the mist. It was a truly beautiful day.

I walked down by the side of the river. Rocky zigzagged in front of me on the path, happily snuffling along the hedgerows, smelling goodness knows what, but clearly enjoying himself immensely.

I liked this walk. We rarely bumped into other walkers, as it was kind of only known by the locals and few of the people around here had dogs – and even fewer wanted to be out at this time of the morning. I cross the bridge and headed for the massive expanse of parkland.

Letting Rocky off his lead I threw his ball for him with the launcher. He shot off as fast as his little legs could carry his rather bulky body.

I smiled. There was no way I was leaving home without him. If I did, Mum would definitely have him go to a good home and I wasn’t giving him up for anyone. I’d already decided that if I couldn’t rent somewhere that would allow me to keep him, Buzz and Franz would happily welcome another dog to be friends with Gumdrop and Zac temporarily without putting up too much of a fight...

I watched as Rocky picked up his ball. “Come on, Rocky! Here boy!”

But Rocky clearly had other ideas this morning. He looked around at me and then started to run in the opposite direction. He disappeared into the mist.

“Oh, fuck.” I muttered as I could just make out another solitary figure – walking a much bigger dog than Rocky...

I started to run. Rocky had an uncanny knack of pissing other dogs – and their owners come to think of it – off. He just believed wholeheartedly that he was universally adored... He really wasn’t.

“Sorry!” I shouted to the guy. He had his back to me and was trying his best to untangle his great big bear of a dog from Rocky. “Rocky! Come here!” I tried my best to sound commanding.

“No, really – it’s not your dog’s fault, Cyril’s a total pain in the arse – he just thinks everyone wants to be friends...”

He turned and my eyes just about popped out of my head, “Oh, wow! Hi.” I said, forgetting all about Rocky and Cyril momentarily.

“Hi.” His lips curved up in the sexiest grin, “I didn’t realise it was you – are you some sort of secret sprinter in your spare time? You made it across that field faster than Usain Bolt!”

I chuckled, “Nah, I didn’t.” I felt a little embarrassed that he’d seen me belting after the dog like a man possessed.

He was still smiling at me, though.

“Wanna walk together?” I asked before I could even think how he might take it.

To my surprise and delight, he nodded, “Sure,” he said, “is this your dog?” He nodded towards Rocky.

I nodded, “He will be when I adopt him officially. We’re fostering him at the moment. But I’ve kind of fallen in love with him.” I chuckled, embarrassed to admit that the dog had wormed his way into my heart.

Bailey smiled, “Yeah, I know what you mean – old Cyril here is actually my neighbour’s dog – but Ted’s getting a bit old and he can’t walk him far enough anymore. Cyril’s a big old boy and as lazy as he is – he needs a lot of exercise.”

I could see that. He was fucking huge. “What sort of dog is he?”

Bailey grinned, “He’s a cross between a greyhound and a Newfoundland if you can believe anyone would be so damned stupid to think that would ever be a good idea – so he’s a very fast, very big, very furry beast.” He laughed, “Look at him – he knows I’m talking about him.”

I laughed. The dog very definitely knew he was centre of attention. He was prancing around like a horse doing dressage.

“You were great the other night.” Bailey blurted out, surprising me, “Meeting my dads and everything...”

I blinked, “Uh, thanks.” I smiled at him, “They’re really nice people – and so is Laura.”

He chuckled, “Yeah, she’s great – most of time – when she’s not trying to hook me up with psycho guy.”

I laughed, “Yeah, she seemed to like me though – so I think you’re safe from her doing that again in the immediate future.”

He grinned at me, “Well, thank God for that.”

I fell into step beside him and we started to walk together, “Are you working tonight?”

He nodded, “Yeah, you are too, aren’t you?”

I nodded, “Yeah, I’m in tonight and tomorrow, I’ve got Saturday night off, but I’ll be back at work Sunday, unless you wanted to do something together on Saturday...?” I held my breath. Would he want to?

He nodded, his eyes lighting up, “That would be great!” he said, “We can arrange it later – between your dance sets.”

“Great.”

He leaned into me, “I really missed you last night – it wasn’t the same without you there.”

I bit my lip. I should really tell him that it was Darcy’s eighteenth birthday last night and that was why I was absent but I hadn’t even mentioned having a sister, never mind celebrating her eighteenth. It wasn’t like we were exclusive or anything, but I really wanted him to be my boyfriend. Only trouble was, I knew I wasn’t being honest with him about my life and to ask him out; to ask him to be my boyfriend when I couldn’t even be honest with him about the relationship I had with my parents was stupid. I needed to move out first. Then, once I was safely out of their reach, I’d come clean. I’d tell him all about them and then I’d ask him to be mine.

I must have been silent for longer than I realised because he’d stopped and was looking at me enquiringly, “Penny for your thoughts?” he teased.

I rolled my eyes, “They’re not worth jack shit.” I replied, “I’m sorry. I was miles away.”

He smiled, “Yeah, you were.” He agreed, “Because I asked you to kiss me and you just carried on walking.”

My jaw dropped, “Fuck!” I exclaimed, “My bad! Come here!”

I shot back towards him and gathered him up in my arms. He felt so damned right pressed up against me like this. I could forget that I had the weight of the world pressing down on my shoulders when he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a hug. I bent my head and our lips met perfectly together.

I slid my tongue into his mouth and brushed it against his. God I could kiss him forever and never get tired of the way he made me feel.

I pulled away reluctantly, “Kissing you is like being high.” I said.

He chuckled, “Been high a lot?”

I shook my head, “Nah,” I said, “Once or twice – I prefer the high I get from kissing you – there’s no come down from it. I feel great for days afterwards.” I blushed a little at the admission, but it was the truth. Every time I so much as thought about him, I felt great.

He stroked my face with his fingertips, “I know what you mean,” he murmured, “I feel the same way.”

We carried on walking and got back to the road. Bailey was going in the opposite direction to me, “Well, I guess I’ll see you later then – and we can arrange that date.”

I nodded, “Definitely.” I agreed, and went home with a spring in my step that hadn’t been there before.

 

 

Chapter 14 – Asking a favour...

 

Bailey

 

“Morning Buzz.”

Buzz grinned at me, “You are aware that it’s gone six in the evening?”

I chuckled and nodded, “Yeah – but I only had a bowl of cornflakes, like half an hour ago.”

He laughed, “Fair enough.” He said, “What happened to you last night?”

I frowned, “Last night?” I asked, my stomach clenching with anxiety. Fuck. Had I missed something important? My stress levels went into overload almost instantly. “I was here, working. Why? Where should I have been?”

Buzz shook his head, looking slightly alarmed at my reaction, “No, no,” he said, “I didn’t mean to worry you – I just assumed that you’d have come to Darcy’s birthday party.”

Who the fuck was Darcy and why was he looking at me with that frown? “Uh?” stared back at him blankly. He’d totally lost me.

Buzz’s frown deepened, “Our sister, Darcy.” He said, “She turned eighteen – we had a big family party...” he trailed off, realisation dawning as he could see I was completely clueless, “Oh, my God. He didn’t tell you, did he?” He went red in the face.

“I didn’t even know you guys had a sister.” I said, feeling mortally embarrassed that I knew so little about Simon. Why hadn’t he mentioned having a sister when he met mine? And why hadn’t he mentioned the party? Had he taken someone else with him?

“Who did he take with him?” I asked.

Buzz scratched his chin, his frown deepening as he tried to figure out what was going on with his brother, “No one.” He said, “He was alone – I just figured you had something else on. I honestly thought he’d have asked you to come.”

I shook my head. I thought things were pretty good between us – but now it looked as if things were pretty non-existent between us, “No,” I said shortly, “I wasn’t invited.” It hurt to think that he hadn’t even considered inviting me. As far as I knew, he wasn’t seeing anyone else and I was beginning to get hopeful about the two of us going the distance – exclusively – but this kind of proved that I was just getting ahead of myself – story of my life – look at the way things turned out with Nathan... Still, I wasn’t about to show Buzz how much it bothered me. I had my pride... I swallowed, “I guess Simon’s just not that into me to ask me to meet the family.” Even though I’d totally introduced him to all of mine already. Was I too eager? Was that the issue?

Buzz took a deep breath, a frown on his face, “I don’t think that’s the case,” he murmured, “because he never stops talking about you when he comes to mine.”

I frowned. I had no clue what the fuck was going on with Simon. “Could you maybe ask him?” I asked, wincing at the way my voice sounded. God, could I be more needy?

He didn’t seem to notice. He just nodded, “Leave it with me,” he said, “We’ll get the root of the problem. Simon’s always been a bit socially awkward – and Mum and Dad aren’t the easiest guys to be around, either...” he trailed off, “Leave it with me.” he repeated.

I’d kind of already assumed that Simon wasn’t out – but he’d never said one way or the other if his parents were on board with his sexuality or not. If they were – what the hell was the problem with taking me home?

I really didn’t know how to broach the subject. It wasn’t as if we were really a couple or anything. A handful of dates, a few nice kisses and a cheeky blowjob followed by a promise of a whole lot more (that had never materialised) and a family barbeque didn’t make us the next big thing. But I really wanted us to be – that wasn’t likely however if he couldn’t even ask me to his sister’s eighteenth birthday party...

 

*

 

It had been a couple of days and Buzz hadn’t enlightened me as to what was going on with his brother, something that I really thought he should have sorted out by now and I can’t deny it, I was definitely sulking.

Richard wasn’t one for allowing any of his kids to sit and stew.

“What’s up with you?” he asked, throwing a cushion at me.

I scowled back at him, “Nothing.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Well, call me anything you like but I’d suggest that something is bothering you. Is it Laura – is she setting you up on dodgy dates again?”

I shook my head, “Not since I told her where she could shove her good intentions, no.” I said with a smile. Laura had been so pissed off with me over not liking her choice of guy for me – until she met Simon and then she’d been as enchanted with him as I was.

Richard nodded, “So?” he probed, “What’s the problem.”

I sighed. I was going to drive myself insane if I didn’t talk to someone about Simon’s weird attitude towards me. “It’s Simon.”

Richard frowned, “Your closet superhero?”

I nodded, “Yeah – but I don’t think he’s really in the closet...”

“But?”

I smiled, “But I’m guessing his nearest and dearest are either totally oblivious to his sexuality – or totally against it – and my money is on the latter.”

Richard sucked in a sharp breath and shook his head, “Are you sure he’s really the one for you?”

I nodded. Simon was everything I’d been looking for – but I couldn’t deny that it hurt like hell that he wouldn’t introduce me to his parents. What the hell was the problem? Buzz didn’t seem to have a clue and he was his brother. He and his boyfriend Franz had gone to the family party together – so why not ask me? What wasn’t good enough about me? Was it because I was fostered? Nah... That would be ridiculous.

Richard gave me a stern look, “Listen, mate.” He said, “You have to talk to Simon about this?”

I felt my face reddening. I’d never been one for confrontation. I nodded, “I know I do.” I said, “I just don’t want to.”

Richard smiled and patted my shoulder, “You’ll get there.” He said, “You always do.”

 

*

 

I locked the car, took a deep breath and headed towards the club.

I didn’t particularly want to confront Simon about the fact that he never invited me home but at the same time, I didn’t want to be his dirty little secret. I was proud to have him as my boyfriend and I wanted him to be as proud to have me as his.

I pushed the door open. Buzz was nowhere to be seen, which was a little weird since he seemed to be here all of the fucking time but that was least of my worries. I wanted to see Simon – and I wanted to deal with this right now – before I lost my nerve.

 

 

Chapter 15 – Withholding the truth...

 

Simon

 

I’d just walked into the club for my shift, kind of desperate to see Bailey. I felt horribly guilty for not telling him about our little sister’s eighteenth birthday party. I’d battled with myself for weeks beforehand, wondering if I should just show up with Bailey – who my parents would immediately see was as gay as a picnic basket – and ride out the storm, or to go alone. In the end I’d totally bottled it and gone alone, much to Darcy’s disappointment because I’d told her all about him and she’d been dying to meet him.

The party had been really nice for Darcy – and Buzz and Franz had seemed to have a good time but it had been as boring as fuck for me. I had no one really to talk to. Darcy was all about her friends and Buzz and Franz had spent the majority of the time in the kitchen away from everyone else. The worst of it was that Mum and Dad had spent most of the night away from the whole party. They probably wouldn’t have even noticed Bailey – until he started to thread his fingers through mine, which was something he did quite a lot these days – and I fucking loved it.

I really needed to talk to him. I needed to tell him that I was a hopeless closet case and to let him go and find someone who wasn’t trying to hide who he really was for the sake of his parents...

Buzz appeared almost the minute I got to the dressing rooms. He shut the door behind him and pinned me with his stare through the mirror, “So what’s going on, dude?” he asked, a frown on his face, “Why haven’t you taken Bailey home? He’s a really great guy – and if you don’t mind me saying – probably the best guy I’ve ever seen you with.”

I sighed and nodded, “I know.” I agreed. Fuck. I knew this day would come one day – and now I had to come clean to my brother about the fact that I’d been lying to Mum and Dad since I was sixteen and ‘cured’ of my gayness... “He’s the best thing to ever happen to me but I’m not the guy for him – I’m really not what he needs...”

Buzz frowned, “Are you going to stop talking in riddles and tell me what the fuck is going on with you?”

I nodded, “I want you to be calm, okay?” I said.

His frown deepened and I really wished Franz was around to keep him from flying off the handle. No such luck today, though. Franz was busy doing something and unlike most nights where the dancers all milled around, pushing past each other to nick something from each other’s rooms, it was just the two of us.

“I uh, I’ve not been entirely honest with Mum and Dad for a few years now.” I looked down, but feeling as if my brother’s eyes were boring into the back of my head I looked back into his eyes through the mirror, “They uh, they think I’m straight, okay? So I can’t suddenly show up, six years after telling them I’d been confused and was definitely straight, with a boyfriend in tow.”

Buzz’s jaw dropped, “What the fuck are you talking about?” he asked, staring at me aghast, “You’ve never been fucking straight and they fucking know it!”

I couldn’t blame him. As far as he knew, I came out to them the year after he did – and they’d taken it in their stride, totally pissing Buzz off, since they’d thrown him out over his coming out...

I took a deep breath. He was about to go absolutely ape-shit... “They, uh, they kind of changed towards me once you left and it became obvious I wasn’t, uh, going through a ‘phase’.”

His jaw dropped, “A phase? What sort of a phase? Oh, come on. You’re not serious?” His eyes were flashing with anger now. Buzz was well annoyed –as I knew he would be.

And I was deadly serious but I was really trying to play it down. I shrugged, “Yeah, you know what they’re like – telling me it was unnatural – all the same shit that they levied at you actually – apart from the throwing me out bit. Mum wouldn’t let him do that while I was only fourteen – so they uh, compromised...”

Buzz frowned, “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?” he started and then his frown deepened, “hang on a minute, compromised how?”

Ohh, fuck, he really was gonna go nuts now... “They uh, they decided I needed therapy.” I mumbled, unable to meet his gaze this time.

“Therapy?” he asked, his voice came out like a flat growl, “What sort of fucking therapy?”

I sighed, looking back up at him sheepishly, “It wasn’t all that bad. They sent me to cadets, Buzz.” I said, “Said I needed to spend time with ‘real’ boys.” I smiled at the memory of them sending me somewhere that they thought would straighten me out, “It was pretty cool – most of the guys there were as queer as I was. I was in a threesome for a while with two other guys – they’re still a couple as far as I know. I had a fucking great time there.”

His frown softened, “Perv.” He said with a grin, “But I’ll bet that was fun.”

I nodded, “It was.” Hell it had been absolutely awesome – apart from the jealousy thing I had going on. I’d been more attracted to Tim than I was to Angus but it was clear to me that Tim and Angus preferred each other and as happy as they were to include me in their games, there was no way Tim was ever going to give up on Angus to pursue a relationship with me. I was happy to leave them to it. I’m sure being in a threesome worked for some guys but I was clearly not cut out for it. I was a one-man-only sort of a guy. I just wanted to be with Bailey – but had I totally blown it? Probably... story of my life...

“I’ll talk to the olds and sort this shit out,” he growled, “But you seriously need to talk to Bailey – the poor guy’s in pieces because you didn’t invite him to Darcy’s party.”

I stared at him, “Fuck – how the hell did he find out about that?” I asked. But from the look on Buzz’s face, I was beginning to understand.

“I’m sorry for dropping you in it, mate.” He said with a sigh, “I just assumed he’d been double booked or something. I asked him where he’d gotten to.”

I nodded. Of course he’d ask him. Buzz was as honest as the day was long. It simply wouldn’t occur to him that I’d been lying through my teeth for years about myself.

Buzz was looking at me with exasperation mixed with sympathy and a little amusement, “I knew something was up – you fucking idiot. Why the fuck didn’t you tell me when they turned on you? I would have totally found you a room at my place even if you were only a kid then – and why the fuck did you ever go back home after you finished uni when you knew I had a permanent place by then?”

I shrugged. I couldn’t speak, I had a lump in my throat and I was feeling a little tearful. I had no answers and now that he’d pointed out all of the stupid things I’d allowed to happen – I felt pretty damned stupid.

He shook his head, “Well, when you next go home – pack your fucking bags – you’re not staying there being suffocated another minute – you’re moving in with me. You know I’ve got a spare room at mine – since it was your room for a while anyway. I promise you that Franz won’t mind – you never had to move out in the first place, you dick.”

My jaw dropped, “Are you sure?” I asked. Surely Franz would prefer them to have the place to themselves? And what about Darcy? She’d be really pissed off at me leaving her with them on her own...

He nodded, “I’m absolutely sure. They’ve fucked us up for long enough, mate.” He said, “We’ll go back together and talk to them. Once you’re safely out of their clutches – and Darcy has to move out too – before they fuck her over too.”

My eyes started to fill with tears, “I love you, man.” I said, throwing my arms around his neck and giving him a hug, “You’re the best brother ever, do you know that?”

He mumbled something but I didn’t catch what he said. I think he was kind of pleased though.

“Can I bring Rocky with me?” I mumbled into his neck.

He chuckled, “Of course you can – the more the merrier, mate.”

 

“Ready to go and face the folks?”

I nodded. I wasn’t really. I was shitting bricks. They were going to freak. I’d moved all of my stuff out without them noticing over the last few days and I was actually only going back to tell them the truth about myself and to fetch Rocky.

Buzz was looking at me, “I know what you’re going through.” He said, “I can pretty much guess word for word what you’re thinking – but listen – they’re just two people and they can’t tell you how to run your life. Okay?”

I nodded, “I know you’re right. And rationally I can see that they’re just two people – but they’re also two massive monsters in my sub-conscience – two massive monsters that tell me how to live and make me feel disgusting and perverted for feeling the way I feel.”

He nodded, “I know.” He said, “I spent years feeling as if I was a freak and wrong for being the way I am – but it’s not wrong, Simon. We’re just not straight – that’s all.” He sighed, “We love, just like they do – we just don’t love the opposite sex, we love men – it’s not a fucking crime. What is a crime is making us feel less for the way we are. They’re the ones in the wrong – not us.”

I nodded, “I know.” I said, “Let’s go and get it over with.”

He smiled and squeezed my arm, “Let’s do it.” He agreed.

I climbed onto the back of his motorbike and we made our way to Mum and Dad’s...

 

*

 

“Oh, hello boys,” Mum greeted us at the front door. “What a lovely surprise.”

Buzz nodded, “Hi, Mum.” He said, “Is Dad in?”

She nodded, “He’s just doing something in the garage.” She said, “Shall I put the kettle on?”

Buzz nodded, “Sure.”

I still hadn’t said a word. I felt sick. I had no idea how to broach the subject of my sexuality – and I was beginning to wonder why I was even here at all. Let them live in ignorance if they wanted to – what did it matter to me anymore? I had found the love of my life in Bailey and if they never met him, so what?

But then I thought about Bailey. Bailey would want me to do this – to acknowledge that I was committed to us as a couple. I cleared my throat, “Uh, Mum.” I said, amazed at how normal my voice sounded to say I was cringing with fear on the inside, “I need to talk to you and Dad about a couple of things.”

She turned sharply. “What about?”

She knew. She knew exactly what was coming – and so would Dad. The selfish bastards...

“If you could get Dad in, I’ll make the coffee, and Buzz and I will meet you both in the lounge.”

She tittered, “Ooh, very mysterious.” She said, but I could see the look in her eye and her laugh was forced.

Buzz smiled at me, “It’s gonna be fine, mate.” He said, “You’re doing really well.”

I nodded, “They’re gonna freak.” I whispered.

Buzz nodded, “Yup.” He agreed.

 

*

 

I walked into the lounge with two coffees – mine and Buzz’s.

Buzz followed with Mum and Dad’s and he put them down in the table in front of them.

“What’s all this, then?” Dad asked, looking up at me, “What’s with the family meeting?”

I sat down and took a sip of my coffee. “I wanted to tell you that I’d met someone who’s really important to me and that I’ve fallen in love for the first time in my life.”

Mum’s jaw dropped open, “Well, that’s lovely, darling,” she said, smiling at me, “And what’s her name?” she asked.

I narrowed my eyes. She was practiced in this behaviour. The fact that she’d immediately jumped in and asked her name was on purpose... She was trying to undermine my confidence. Well, not this time. “His name is Bailey.” I said and I was proud of myself for finally standing my ground.

Dad stood up, “We discussed this a while ago.” He growled, “And you promised us that you weren’t going down the same road as him.” He nodded towards Buzz with a look of annoyance.

Buzz looked back at him, “Do you seriously think he was ‘going down the same road’ out of choice, Dad? Still? After all this time?”

Dad snorted and sat back down, “Do as you like.” He muttered, “It’s makes no difference to me.”

Mum was in tears, “Well, I can’t say that I’m not disappointed,” she started, which was par for the course. She was always disappointed one way or another. “Why do you want to torture me like this?”

My stomach turned over. Torture her? What the actual fuck? “Right.” I said, “I just thought you’d like to know that I was happy – clearly that was a mistake, so I won’t take up anymore of your time – oh, apart from one other little thing. While I’m disappointing you, you might as well know that I got my degree in Art and Design, not engineering – and I’m opening my own tattoo parlour. Oh, and I’m taking Rocky with me. See you guys around.”

I shot out of my seat without looking at either of them and headed for the front door. Rocky bounding around me and Buzz right behind me, providing a barrier between me and Rocky, and my squawking mother telling me that I wasn’t allowed to take the dog.

We got on his bike and rode in silence all the way back to his flat. Rocky wedged between us, as good as gold. I guessed he knew he was being rescued...

Once Buzz stopped the bike and we’d both got off, we looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“Simon,” Buzz said, “That was fucking awesome, mate – I love you, bro’,”

I hugged him, “I love you too, mate.” I said, “Thanks for making me do that – I feel... freed.”

He grinned at me, “You know what,” he said, “They’re the disappointing ones – not us.”

I nodded, “I know.’ I said softly, “But it still hurts that she feels that she can say things like that.” I felt that she was disappointed in me unjustly. Bailey’s disappointment in me for denying my sexuality was understandable – and I’d taken steps to put that right now. Mum’s attitude was just shitty and selfish.

Buzz shrugged, “She’s disappointed in her whole life.” He said, “Pay her no attention. You’ve got to live your life the way you see fit – not the way they see fit.”

I nodded, “Yeah,” I agreed, “You’re right.”

 

 

Chapter 16 – Stewing...

 

Bailey

 

Following my heart-to-heart with Richard and my subsequent failure to talk to Simon about it, I’d gone from feeing hurt and disappointed in him to silently fuming the more I stewed over it – and yes, I did still stew over it, despite Richard’s best efforts to get me to talk things through sensibly – what can I say? I was a terrible procrastinator – and a terrible stewer...

After the way Joss had treated me, making me feel worthless and knocking my confidence for six, I’d vowed never to be fucked around again. So now, every one of my instincts for protecting my heart was telling me to bail on Simon. Richard was right. I should either talk to him about his issues or to just forget the whole thing – but I just couldn’t do it. It wasn’t as if he was cheating on me – well, I didn’t think he was – he was just closeted and I knew that wasn’t a great basis for a relationship but I really liked him. He was funny, charming and call me shallow – incredibly attractive. I just had no idea why he didn’t want to introduce me to the rest of his family – and I had no idea why he kept disappearing off on his own whenever he was away from the bar and never letting on where he was going. That was beginning to bug me more than the family thing...

Thankfully, Buzz finally put me out of my misery by telling me exactly what was going on with him – and where he was going when he was never around. Once I’d been enlightened, I had no idea why Simon hadn’t just told me himself – so then that started to bug me too...

“He’s visiting our friend, Seth in hospital – and you don’t have to give me that look,” he chuckled as I felt my face redden. I really had been looking at him as if Simon was in love with Seth, “he really is just a friend – of all of ours.” Buzz smiled a little too understandingly, making me feel horribly embarrassed.

“So why not just tell me where he’s going?”

Buzz shrugged, “He’s kind of private.” He said, “And a bit shy, if truth be told – maybe he’s just not sure of you yet. I’m guessing he hasn’t told you about being sent to straight camp, either, has he?”

My jaw dropped, “You’re kidding?” Holy shit. He really hadn’t told me anything about himself. I kicked myself mentally for sharing too much about myself too soon.

Buzz shook his head, his face grave, “Mum and Dad are... intense – and a pair of fucking idiots if I’m gonna be completely honest with you. They went ape shit when I came out and I was really pissed off when they seemed to just accept it from him – little did I know that once they realised he was serious and that he really was gay, they told him to shape up or ship out, too.”

I frowned. I wanted him to be sure of me and to be able to confide in me. I hadn’t given him any reason to doubt my intentions... Maybe I should be more worried about his real feelings for me. If he really did want me in his life, surely he’d want to open up? Maybe I was just a stopgap and being used. Story of my fucking life...

Buzz patted my shoulder, “I’ve heard nothing but good things about you – hang in there, buddy. His walls will come down and then you’ll be made for life – if of course you want it.”

I nodded. God I hoped he was right. I felt a little pathetic wanting it so much to happen but I couldn’t help the way I felt about him. I’d fallen for him pretty hard... “I want it.” I whispered, “You’ve no idea how much.”

He smiled and nodded, “Believe me, dude,” he said, “I have a pretty good idea.”

I’d come to work with the intention of confronting Simon again, but now that I’d talked to Buzz, most of the fight had gone out of me and I just really needed to talk to him. I needed to tell him the way I was feeling and I needed to know how he really felt about me – to see if we had any sort of a future together because right now, I’m not gonna lie, I was floundering.

 

*

 

I finally got a chance to talk to him about it right at the end of the night. It was late and we were both tired – not the best combination for a heart-to-heart... I was crabby because it was student night and I’m not gonna lie, young, horny guys were pretty damned obnoxious at the best of times, but tonight they seemed to be out just to fucking irritate me and I’d had it up to here with them all.

“Thank God that’s over.” I heaved a sigh and tossed my dish-towel onto the bar with a little more force than was necessary, “Nearly all the punters tonight were fucking annoying.”

Simon, who had been sitting at the end of the bar, sipping a beer, raised his eyebrows, “Everything okay, babe?”

Well, this was my chance... “Not really.” I bit my lip. I avoided confrontation of any kind if I could – but this was the difference between Simon and I having a future together or not, “Can we talk? Or is it too late?”

Simon misunderstood that I was actually talking about the lateness of the hour as opposed to things being too bad between us to save... bless him, “Oh, God.” He ran his hand through his hair and stared at me in horror, “Please don’t say that – I’ve been a total tit, I know it – but don’t give up on us, please...”

My jaw dropped. My heart started to beat a little harder, “I’m not...”

He was round the end of the bar and holding me in his arms in a heartbeat, “Can I kiss you?” he asked.

I nodded, “Of course you can, I didn’t mean...”

He didn’t give me a chance to get my words out. His mouth was on mine and devouring me before I could even stop to think. I melted into him, wishing I could melt right into his body and become one. Hell fire, he couldn’t half kiss...

 

 

Chapter 17 – Talking it out...

 

Simon

 

Too late? Fuck! No!

I shot round the end of the bar and wrapped him up in my arms before he could protest – well, of course he could have protested and I’d have let go again, but he didn’t appear to want to resist at all. He positively welded himself against me as I took him in my arms. Phew!

“Can I kiss you?” I asked. Please say I can...

He looked up at, slightly dazed and started to say something but the desire to put my mouth over his and to kiss him was too much. I bent my head, adoring the fact that he was so many inches shorter than I was. I loved the way he fit against me so perfectly. My mind went deliciously blank as I explored his sweet mouth and pressed my cock against his. Bliss. Utter bliss.

Of course we still had a lot to talk about – not least, Seth – who he seemed to have gotten an idea about me fancying. I really had no idea where he’d gotten that idea from but I was going to set him straight about that one as soon as possible. He could even come with me to see him, but it was pretty dreadful at the hospital and I couldn’t see him really wanting to.

We finally broke apart. “Come and sit down with me on the sofas,” I said, “I need to explain a few things.”

“Buzz already told me.” Bailey said, going a little pink, “You don’t have to explain about anything.”

I shook my head, “I do.” I said, “I have to tell you first hand. I should have already told you in the first place.” He shrugged and followed me to the sofas.

I took a deep breath and turned to him, taking his hand in mine, “When we met, I wasn’t out at home.”

He nodded, “I kind of got that from our first date.”

I cringed a little, “Yeah, well...” I looked at him sheepishly. “I came out when I was fourteen. I was a bag of nerves because they’d already thrown Buzz out and I really didn’t know what I was going to do if they did the same to me.”

Bailey frowned, “What made you think they’d react any differently?”

I swallowed, “Buzz was Dad’s flesh and blood but my dad went AWOL years ago and I’ve not heard from him since. I’ve always called Dad, Dad but he’s always treated me differently to Buzz, always been more lenient on me. It was like he never expected anything of me because I wasn’t really his – or that was the way I saw it, anyway. I could be wrong.”

Bailey frowned, “They sound like a right pair of wankers to me – no offense intended of course.”

I sighed and nodded, letting him know that I got where he was coming from and that I’d not taken it wrong, “Well, regardless of that, I always loved them...” Whether that made me weak, or stupid, or just a nice guy I really didn’t know. I guess they’d done their best but they’d got it very wrong with both me and with Buzz. They’d probably have been fine if we’d both been straight – they had no issues with Darcy and her many boyfriends. “They just didn’t know how to handle it when we both came out. They handled Buzz really badly –and they wore it a little better when I did – until they realised I was serious – then they made it clear that they really weren’t happy about it and that was when they tried everything – and I mean everything to change me back into a good little straight boy.” Which had been really stupid, since there was nothing little about me and I was about as gay as a picnic basket...

Bailey frowned, “Shit.” He said, “What did they do?”

I rolled my eyes, “They enlisted the help of doctors and then they turned to religion and finally, after none of that worked, they sent me to army cadets. That was kind of fun actually – it’s not a particularly well known source to find gay guys to date but quite a few gay guys get sent there by their homophobic parents.” I chuckled as I remembered a really intense three-way blowjob between me Angus and Tim. Like I mentioned earlier, they’d ended up a couple, which was fine. I didn’t want to make it a permanent arrangement. I wasn’t really into sharing once someone had made a commitment.

Bailey’s eyebrows shot up, “Seriously?” he asked, “You actually managed to have fun there?”

I shrugged, “Well, mostly it was bloody awful – but like I said, some of the guys there were actually pretty cool.”

“So, how come you ended up back at home?”

I grimaced, “Well, I used to live with my brother. But I spent so little time there – sofa surfing all over the place with different friends, I kind of moved out and then Franz moved in and I didn’t think it was right to always be in their way – and my other really good friend, River said I could move in with him but I didn’t want to – he and Jody have far too much noisy sex...”

Bailey pulled a face, “Ooh, no – that’s just wrong if you’re not involved, isn’t it?”  He winked at me and I almost choked on my drink, “So how’s that going, then – being back at home with the folks?”