Chapter10
The following week slowly dragged on. Rita couldn’t forget what Eliza had told her. She didn’t want to believe that Axel was a dealer, but at the same time, it made sense. She had tried looking around the apartment for any clues that might give him away, but he seemed adept at keeping that part of his life away from his baby sister.
It was a Saturday and Rita was making some toast with the stale loaf of bread she found on top of the fridge. Luckily, there was still a smidge of butter left hiding in the fridge so when the bread popped out of the toaster she started to butter them slowly, separating five slices into three plates. Setting the small kitchen table, she waited for Axel and his sister.
“Good morning!” Eliza suddenly chimed as she walked into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Axel followed close behind, his thick curly hair a disheveled mess. A grin appeared on his face as he looked at Rita. He noticed that she was starting to show and even though her pregnancy was still a shock to him at times, at others, he was excited to meet his child.
“Morning,” Axel finally mumbled as he walked over to the table, grabbing a piece of toast and biting off a huge chunk. Eliza watched her brother as she sat down and began nibbling on hers. “Where was this bread?” Axel inquired, tasting its staleness.
“Top of the fridge,” Rita answered a little coldly. She hadn’t been quite the same after discovering what Axel did for income. “What are you doing today?”
“Well, I just got a new car in the garage. Someone blew their engine and they want me to fix it, so I should be at the shop all day. Why do you ask?” Axel raised a well-groomed eyebrow in her direction as he wiped some crumbs off his chest.
“You’re going to work on a Saturday?” Rita had the hunch that he would be doing more than just fixing cars.
“You act like that’s a surprise. You’ve been living with us for almost a month now, I thought you were getting the hang of things around here.” Axel picked up his second piece of toast.
“I just thought you might like to go to the park with Eliza and me,” Rita offered, looking hopeful.
Axel’s eyes darted across the kitchen, observing how barren it looked. He knew how empty the pantry was and all the food the fridge was lacking. His jaw locked as he studied Rita’s face, wondering what had caused the sudden change in her demeanor.
“Sorry, I can’t.”
Across the table, Eliza frowned, hearing her brother’s response. She had been hopeful he would say yes. She got up with a sigh, leaving half of her breakfast untouched as she walked over to Spot and started to play with him. Rita glanced in her direction, noticing her disappointed expression.
“Look what you did,” Rita said in a hushed whisper, reprimanding him.
“It’s either I go to work or we starve. You pick,” Axel nearly growled as he walked out of the kitchen, his body tense and his steps heavy. A few minutes later, the front door slammed shut as he left the house. Rita sighed, slumping down into her chair and leaning her head against the wall. What was she going to do?
“Rita?” Eliza’s gentle voice sounded from the doorway as she peered inside, hugging the door frame. “Are we still going to the park?”
Rita bit her lip, trying to come up with something to tell the young girl. She didn’t want to disappoint her, but at this point, she only had enough bus fare money to get to Axel’s shop. If they went to the park, she wouldn’t be able to check up on him. With this in mind, she got up, her eyes looking for some sort of diversion. Finally, she sighed, realizing she would have to tell the little girl the truth.
“I can’t. I have to check on your brother, okay?”
“Why? Is he in trouble?” Eliza asked, her innocent face wrought with worry.
“No, pumpkin, I just want to see what he’s doing, that’s all.”
Rita knew it was a lame response, but she could think of nothing else to say. Resting a hand on the girl’s head, she could feel her own heart racing. She had no experience with the drug scene and didn’t know what to expect. Nevertheless, Axel was the father of her unborn child. She had to figure out what he was up to.
“I’ll be back later, okay?” she whispered softly before she grabbed her jacket and made her way out of the apartment, locking the door behind her. She felt bad about leaving Eliza all alone but knew that Spot would take good care of her while she was gone.
Taking a steadying breath, she made her way down the rickety stairs, avoiding the third step on the second floor. She was forever fearful that one of these days, it would give out under her increasing weight.
Outside, the sun was up and shining brightly, but there was still a chilly breeze rolling around. She zipped her jacket up, hoping it would fend off the cold as she made her way down the street. She took caution to avoid the scattered shards of glass that littered the sidewalk as she headed toward the bus stop. Various people decorated the streets, from tenants smoking a cigarette on their porches to kids playing street hockey. The scene was so utterly different to what she was used to. Even though she had been living in this neighborhood for nearly a month now, the never ending sirens and arguments that constantly plagued the area were still a surprise and even an annoyance at times.
A few men catcalled her, but she ignored them. Reaching the bus stop, she prayed it would arrive sooner rather than later. Minutes seemed to drag on as she moved her weight from one leg to the other in nervousness. In her pocket was the exact change needed for the bus.
***
After a long and bumpy bus ride, Rita finally got off. She was in some commercial district. There was a pawn shop in the corner, its windows busted and boarded up with two by fours. Next to that was a laundromat teeming with people. The streets were littered with trash and debris. Rolling down the sidewalk were tumbleweeds, consisting of cigarette butts, lottery tickets, and dust.
She frowned, feeling her spirits dampen. Her mind wandered back to the luxurious malls that she used to frequent not so long ago. What she wouldn’t do to go back to the modern amenities she had while living with her father. Fresh, clean clothes. Hot running water. A dishwasher. All these things seemed to belong to another world now as Rita took a step forward, toward a building with two garage doors.
Above them was a large, worn-out sign reading “Axel’s Automobile Fix-up.” This had to be the place. Rita pulled out the small business card she found in Axel’s drawer. The address matched up at least. She advanced toward the building. Once she got close enough, she could hear voices coming from inside. She pressed herself against the cool brick wall, straining her hearing as she listened in, trying to make out the conversation.
“How much do you have?” a gruff voice asked.
“I have ten, one-ounce bags I could sell you,” Axel’s voice replied.
“That’s all man? I’m having a wild party tonight. I need at least a dozen ounces.”
“It’s all I have, take it or leave it.” Axel’s voice was firm as he tried to close the deal.
“How much?” the unknown person asked after a moment.
Rita felt her blood boil in her veins. She couldn’t believe that the father of her child was a dealer. Anger blurred her vision as she pushed herself off the wall. With her jaw locked and fists clenched by her side, she barged her way into the mechanic shop, her face livid.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Her voice echoed through the garage as she marched her way up to Axel.
His face washed over with surprise as he saw her. He glanced over at his client who looked just as shocked to see her.
“Who’s this?” the man asked, looking Rita up and down. There seemed to be a predatory gaze in his eyes as he glanced in her direction. “She with you?”
“Yeah…she’s with me,” Axel answered through gritted teeth as he tried to compose himself. He didn’t know what Rita was doing there or how she had even made her way to the shop, but what he did know was that she was getting between him and a much-needed transaction. “Excuse me,” he said to his client before harshly grabbing Rita’s arm, pulling her to the side. “What the hell are you doing here?” he asked in a hushed whisper, his face getting close to hers.
“I should be asking you that. What do you think you’re doing selling drugs?” Rita hissed at him as she stood her ground.
“This doesn’t concern you. This is my life; I can do whatever I want.” Axel’s voice was venom as he spewed out the words.
“Are you going to sell me any dope or not?” the man asked, getting irritated by the delay.
“Of course,” Axel answered, forcing a smile on his face. He was about to move away from Rita when she held him back.
“No, you’re not.” Her dark eyes were serious.
Axel’s face darkened as he looked down at her once again.
“I’d suggest letting go before you get hurt, Rita.” His voice was as sharp as glass as he threatened her.
Moments later, he shrugged her off, glaring at her. He couldn’t believe that she had the audacity to step into his affairs like that. He stepped away from her and opened a large red toolbox, set up in the back of the shop. He counted out ten bags of weed and placed them in a black bag for his client.
“Here you are.”
The man however only paid him for eight ounces and then left. Axel grimaced as he saw two bags walk out of his shop for free. That money could have been used to buy some proper food for the apartment. With a bitter taste in his mouth, he placed the crisp bills in his wallet before turning back to Rita, who was still standing where he had left her, a dazed look on her face.
She couldn’t believe that Axel would treat her like this. During the time she had lived with him, he had done nothing but treat her with respect. All of a sudden, however, it was like a switch had been flipped and he wasn’t the same person anymore. She could still feel his words slicing through her, sending a shiver up her spine.
“I’ll ask you one more time. What the hell are you doing in my body shop? Why aren’t you with Eliza?” His voice was cruel as he closed the distance between them.
When she didn’t reply, he tilted her chin upwards, forcing her to look at him. As their eyes locked together, he could feel his anger grow. He didn’t want to involve Rita in any of this, but now she had barged into the part of his life that he had tried his best to keep secret.
“Why do you do it?” Rita finally whispered, her dark eyes wavering as she tried to search his, looking for answers. Instantly, his expression clouded over and he stepped away from her, turning his back. As he crossed his arms over his chest, it was obvious that he wanted nothing to do with this conversation. “Axel. Answer me. Tell me why you live like this. There is no need for you to sell drugs. Not when you have a beautiful sister who loves you at home. Tell me what’s going to happen to her if you get hurt one day.” Rita tried to persuade him as she moved next to him, her hands on his arms, trying to get him to look at her.
Still, Axel wouldn’t answer her. Shrugging her off, he grabbed a ratchet instead and shimmied his way under a car. Rita sighed, squatting down next to the beat-up car. She wanted to say something, but as his power tools made a racket, she knew they wouldn’t be able to have a proper conversation. Feeling irritated, she saw no other option but to sit down and wait for him to finish his work.
She looked around the shop and sat down on a pile of boxes, shoved against the back wall. Hours seemed to drag on for an eternity before, finally, Axel got up. He saw her sitting there, but he still didn’t address her. He simply got in the driver’s seat and tried to start the car. It sputtered, but failed to start. A look of weariness took over his face as he looked up at Rita through the windshield. He wouldn’t be able to get anything done with her just sitting there, watching him.
“Are you just going to sit there all day?” Axel asked as he moved over to the front of the car, leaning against the hood as he stared at her.
“I’ll wait as long as I need to, in order to get answers.” Her voice was determined as she peered into his eyes.
Axel sighed. “Why do women have to be so stubborn all the time? Why can’t you just mind your own business?” Axel mumbled under his breath.
“Because your business is my business now. Why can’t you realize that?” Rita implored as she got closer.
“Why? Just because I’m your baby daddy?” His voice was cruel as he made the comment.
“Yes. This child will need you as a father one day and I’ll be damned if I let their father be a drug dealer.” Rita sounded angry.
“You make it sound so horrible. Tons of people do it. Besides, I only sell weed, it’s practically harmless.” Axel tried to defend himself as his face turned red with anger. “I don’t go around judging your life choices, do I?”
“You don’t have to do this.”
“Well, what the hell else am I supposed to do? No one wants to hire a deadbeat like me, who couldn’t even make it through the second year of high school. Sure, I have this body shop, but the only customers I get are people who want to get high. No one ever has the money to pay me. Tell me, how am I supposed to feed my sister and now you on nothing?” His cheeks turned red as he spewed the words out. His eyes narrowed and his body tensed. “You think it’s so easy. Well, it isn’t. You try living on the streets while your mother is out somewhere, banging every guy in town. Try sleeping when the only thing you can hear is sirens at night. I do everything that I can, only to help my sister have a better life than I did.” Axel paced around the shop as his emotions started to get the better of him.
“But what will happen when one day someone decides to steal all of your drugs? Or pull a gun out on you and decide to blow your brains out? I may not be familiar with your lifestyle, but I’m not naïve. I know how dangerous all of this can be. Why do you do it when you know you have your little sister at home, waiting for you? What happens on the night when you never come back? Do you want to see her in some sort of an orphanage?” Rita posed the questions, hoping it would get him to reconsider his actions.
“Stop bringing her into this. Nothing is going to happen to her or to me. I’m perfectly fine. I never sell a lot, just small quantities. Don’t worry about me.”
“It certainly didn’t look like a small quantity just now. What was that, half a pound? I’m worried about you; how can I not?” Rita pressed.
“Just don’t. I don’t need you to pity me. I can take care of myself.” Axel’s words fell like stones between them. Without another word, he turned around and headed back to the car, popping the hood. He looked at the engine before grabbing a hand drill and unscrewing some of the major bolts. He would need to take the whole engine apart if he had any chance of fixing this car.
He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, getting grease on his face. Glancing at the overhead clock, he sighed. It was already four. It was going to be a long, tough night by the looks of it. Nevertheless, he had to finish the repairs if he was to even stand a chance of entering the race next Saturday. It was the biggest underground race of the season and he was determined to win this time. He grinned, thinking about what he would do with a couple grand in his pocket. Maybe he could finally bring Eliza to an amusement park or maybe even move to a new apartment, one where the water wasn’t the color of clay.