Connie
I hesitantly step into the fertility clinic with my friend Ashley.
“Ash,” I whisper. “I feel weird.”
“Don’t worry,” says my friend airily. “No one knows that we don’t have any money. You can’t tell just by looking at someone how much they’re worth, silly.”
I nod, trying to look confident. But it’s hard because the ads online said that we could get fertility treatments for as little as three thousand per round of IVF. It was a “special deal” that was only going to be good for a few weeks.
But three thousand is way out of my range because as a secretary at a small accounting firm, I can’t afford that kind of money. I can’t afford even two hundred bucks, to be honest. Between rent, food, and kibble for my cat, there’s not a lot left over most months.
But I’ve wanted to be a mom for so long, and unfortunately, Sunset Medical was the only realistic option on my horizon. My last two relationships went ker-SPLAT! on hot cement. After they were over, there was egg on my face but not a lot of doubt as to what I needed to do next.
So when I saw the ad online, I was immediately on the phone with my best friend Ashley.
“Ash,” I said. “We’ve gotta go to this information session. There’s no time to wait. We’re getting older, and you know what the medical community says. Women are most fertile at age seventeen, and you and I are twenty-five already.”
I could almost hear Ashley making a face on the other end.
“Connie, relax,” she says soothingly. “Twenty-five is hardly over the hill. Isn’t the Duchess of Wales pregnant right now? And she’s thirty-two or something ancient like that.”
That only made my blood pressure go up.
“First, the Duchess of Wales is only thirty-one,” I said frostily. “Second, Kate Middleton is pregnant with her third child, and not her first, so she’s a proven commodity. Last, Kate Middleton is rich as fuck! She can afford multiple rounds of IVF if that’s what it takes, whereas you know we can’t spare a dime. So we need to go to this info session,” I say firmly. “We have to cover our bases before it’s too late.”
Ashley sighs dramatically on the other side.
“Is it free at least?”
“Of course it’s free!” I sputter. “It’s an information session where they tell you about their services. In fact, I bet they serve free cake and cookies just to get more guests.”
I can hear Ashley thinking, but I know what the answer’s going to be. After all, my best friend is just like me. We went to college, but somehow we weren’t able to land good jobs after getting our diplomas. So Ashley’s scraping by on a minimum wage retail job at the mall, and the lure of free food drew her in.
“Okay,” she said magnanimously. “When is it again?”
“This Thursday,” I said with a sigh of relief. “It’s just a quick go-see. Afterwards, we can swing by and then head to my place for pizza and wine. Or soda, if they the doctors say we shouldn’t drink.”
Ashley lets out another dramatic sigh.
“Okay, but I’m not staying a minute past eight,” she says in a bossy tone. “We’ve got better things to do. And Connie, you know you’re not old. Twenty-five is not over the hill. We don’t need the services of a fertility clinic.”
Biting my lip, I thanked her gratefully and hung up, but my thoughts were in a darker place. Because I wasn’t so sure about her statement. How did my blonde friend know that I didn’t need to see a doctor? I’ve certainly never been pregnant before, so how could that be proof one way or another?
Plus, the boys that I dated in the past left a lot to be desired. I’ve only had two boyfriends, and both of them were terrible. Like hold-your-nose-while-vomiting-in-the-toilet terrible. Timmy Smith had been cute, but he couldn’t get it up. We tried a couple times, and he sweated and huffed mightily. But after five attempts, it was clear he wasn’t going to be able to deliver.
Mike Macchio was even worse. This guy talked a big game, but when we were in bed, he had a pathetic case of limp dick. His Big Man on Campus, football player persona was all a lie. When it came down to sexy times, the guy had a pecker as big as my little finger that wouldn’t harden despite my best efforts.
So the fertility clinic it was. After all, the two failures make me doubt myself sometimes. What are the chances that two guys in their twenties would both experience erectile dysfunction when it came to hitting the sack? Was there something about me? Was I causing it? That’s where Sunset Medical came in.
Advertised as the best of the best, the clinic had received five star ratings from the medical board for the last five years straight. And leading the team was their head physician, Chase Roman. Dr. Roman was a reproductive specialist who’d allegedly helped hundreds of women get pregnant and deliver healthy, cooing babies.
Of course, the ads also featured portraits of Dr. Roman with his white lab coat on, and I couldn’t help but stare. Because Dr. Roman wasn’t some nerd with a receding hairline and stooped shoulders. Instead, Dr. Roman was incredibly handsome with piercing blue eyes, a head of coal-black hair and shoulders as broad as a tank. How someone so gorgeous was a doctor was beyond me, but I wasn’t going to question it.
But now, it was Thursday night and Ashley and I were at Sunset Medical for the information session. I’d tried to wear something nicer than usual so as to seem a well-to-do professional, but Ashley hadn’t even bothered. She was in jeans and sneakers, scanning the room as soon as we entered.
“Where are the cookies?” she asked in a loud voice. “Are there free drinks as well?”
“Shhh!” I hissed, frantically looking around. “Don’t be so obvious!”
Fortunately, no one heard and the other women in the room continued to stare down at their phones. From our right, a woman dressed in blue sheath with her hair tied in a smooth bun approached us.
“Hello, I’m Kathy Miles, Dr. Roman’s receptionist. Are you here for the information session on women’s reproduction?”
I nodded.
“Yes, I’m Connie and this is my friend Ashley.”
“Perfect,” she said with a welcoming smile. “If you could just sign-in, Dr. Roman will be coming out in a moment to speak.”
I took a pen and made to sit down, but Ashley wasn’t going to give up so easily.
“Um, excuse me, Kathy? Do you have any food and drink available? Soda maybe? Or crackers? I’d love some nourishment because it’s about seven, and we skipped dinner to be here,” she said meaningfully.
I blushed scarlet. Oh my god, Ashley was so embarrassing sometimes!
But Kathy took it all in a stride, her blonde head nodding.
“Of course. I was just about to bring a tray of hors d'oeuvres out, as well as some champagne. Please give me a moment,” she said, bldisappearing into the back.
“See?” said Ashley loudly, surveying the room. “You have to complain, otherwise you won’t get results.”
I rolled my eyes, but didn’t say anything. Instead, I signed both our names on the clipboard and sat down. My friend is just the way she is, and there’s no way to change her.
We nibbled on crackers and cheese, looking around the waiting room. The ladies there really ranged the spectrum. There were older ones who looked about fifty, with their hair shot through with silver strands. There were also younger girls like us, some of who appeared to be barely out of their teens.
But what everyone shared was a worried expression because medicine is so cruel and callous these days. There’s so much propaganda out there screaming at women to reproduce before it’s too late, making you feel like you’re a loser if you don’t have a baby by thirty. So I slunk down into my chair, hunching my shoulders and suddenly regretting my decision to come. It was depressing to assess my place in life and realize I was a big fat zero.
Ashley poked me in the shoulder.
“This food is good,” she said, taking a huge bite of her carrot with a big crunch. “Very nutritious and healthy.”
I was about to shush her when suddenly, the receptionist appeared again.
“Ladies,” she said with a professional smile. “My name is Kathy Miles, and I work at Sunset Medical. We’re just waiting for Dr. Roman to join us, and oh! Here he is.”
Because suddenly, the door leading from the medical office swung open, and a man stood there, so huge and imposing that he blocked out the light in back of him.
A collective gasp rose from the women in the crowd, our eyes growing wide. Because this man was absolutely gorgeous. Dressed in blue scrubs and a white lab coat, the loose clothes couldn’t hide the magnificence of his physique. Broad shoulders tapered to a narrow waist, with legs thick as tree trunks beneath. His hands were large and capable-looking, with square, clean nails.
But it wasn’t just the Olympian body. This man had a face to die for as well. Piercing blue eyes surveyed the crowd within a tan, austerely handsome face with chiseled cheekbones and a strong jaw. A bit of dark scruff shadowed his chin but it only made him seem more authentic, like he’d just finished a long day at the hospital.
“Ladies,” came that low voice. “Welcome to Sunset Medical. I’m Dr. Chase Roman.”
I swear, a few of us swooned right then and there. This was the famed reproductive specialist with an MD, a PhD, and god knows how many other advanced diplomas? This was the guy who made millions helping women get pregnant?
But even as my heart began to race, face flushing, Ashley stepped in with perfect timing.
“Hi,” she said loudly. “I’m Ashley and this is my friend Connie. We’re here to learn more.”
My soul shriveled. How could Ash embarrass me like this? It was already bad enough with the loud chomping on her carrot and the not-so-subtle hints for food. But at least that had been in front of other women. Now that Dr. Roman was here in all his magnificent glory, my cheeks flamed red as that blue gaze swung to take us in.
He nodded, eyes surveying us coolly. Oh god, I was breaking out into a sweat, my skin heating under that gaze. And yet the good doctor looked completely unruffled with a relaxed stance, his feet set shoulder-length apart.
“Welcome,” he said, nodding. Those eyes swept over me again and I wondered if he could see my hardened nipples beneath the wool sweater. I’d pulled on my most expensive cashmere, but the problem was that the fabric was thin. So my tips jutted out embarrassingly from the huge shelf of my breasts like little rocks dying to be tasted.
But the doctor gave no indication that he noticed. Instead, he nodded again.
“As soon as I’m done with my presentation, I’ll be meeting with each of you individually to hear about your concerns, and what Sunset Medical can do for you. If you’ll just wait fifteen minutes, I’ll be able to talk with you one-on-one.”
Ashley smiled winningly, showing a bit of carrot stuck in her front teeth.
“Sure Doc,” she said. “Looking forward. I’ve already got my pencil in hand, ready to take notes.”
And with that, Dr. Roman turned to an easel behind him and began to speak.
“Again, welcome to Sunset Medical,” that low voice rumbled. “We’re here to discuss reproductive issues specific to women of childbearing age. Now if you’re on the edges of what’s traditionally considered “childbearing age,” I’m excited to say that there are new technologies that could potentially transform your experience. I’m here today to talk with you about your hopes and expectations, as well as introduce the array of services that we offer here.”
I should have listened. I should have been taking notes and carefully jotting down every sentence the doctor said. But instead, his words flowed through my soul like music as I stared at that handsome face. Because Dr. Roman was extraordinarily charismatic, intelligent, and dare I say it? He was melt-your-panties hot. The brains behind that amazing physique had me in awe, and I dissolved into a puddle right there in the waiting room. What would it feel like to have this particular babymaker work his magic on me? All I knew was … I couldn’t wait to find out.