Connie
I can’t believe this is happening. It’s been weeks since I first met Dr. Roman, and I’ve practically moved into his condo now. Sure, I still have my old apartment, but I’m only there to pick stuff up and make sure the bills are paid. Otherwise, I’m at Chase’s place all the time.
But believe it or not, we never worked out a formal arrangement. He propositioned me and I went over fully intending to reject his dirty offer. But instead, that night turned into something sinful and yet absolutely amazing. Yes, Chase and I had an incredible night of love, and neither of us could stop after that. So we’ve been seeing each other regularly to the point where I’ve basically moved in with the handsome doctor.
But still, I can’t get it out of my head that this isn’t a normal arrangement. First, we only just met. I’ve only known this man for a month max, and so I shouldn’t have any feelings. We don’t know each other well enough, and yet I can’t keep my heart from pumping madly whenever he’s around because the doctor is so gorgeous and handsome, and I can’t help but feel attracted whenever he’s in the same space. The other night, he came home from a long night at the office, and I welcomed him with open arms and a panful of bubbling spaghetti.
Stop it! I told myself as the key snicked in the lock. He’s your lover but nothing else. You’re not actually in love, that’s something different.
But still, I couldn’t help the sudden rush of butterflies in my stomach and the way my breath started to come fast. Hurriedly I wiped my hands on a dish towel and ran over to the foyer just in time to see Chase come in and put down his briefcase. I ran into those strong arms like a little girl, the alpha male surrounding me with his maleness and the dusky scent of his cologne.
“Hey,” he murmured into my hair. “How’ve you been today?”
I pulled back, smiling at him. Those blue eyes were genuinely interested, and I beamed happily.
“I’m good,” was my chirp. “Nothing much happened. Just another day at the office. They want to start preparing for tax season even though it’s only fall.”
He laughed a little, stopping to take off his jacket. Like a good wife, I took it from him and hung the handsome trench coat in the hall closet. Stop, the voice in my head spoke sternly. You’re not his wife. You’re not even his girlfriend, so don’t get carried away.
But even the dose of caution couldn’t tamp down on my happy mood because this is just what Chase does to me. Being around him lifts my spirits and I shot him another warm smile.
“It’s funny. I’m just a secretary but they say tax season is a team event. So I have to be prepared as well.”
The doctor shook his head thoughtfully.
“I can see why,” he said. “After all, during busy periods everyone at my office has to put forth maximum effort, even the janitor and my admin assistants. No one person can do it on their own.”
I sighed a little.
“It’s true, but I just wish they would give me a little more responsibility, you know? I really want to be an accountant and Xeroxing documents isn’t my idea of a good time. Of course, I don’t mind doing administrative work, but it feels like that’s all I’ve been doing lately. I’m parked in front of the copier for five or six hours every day.”
Chase frowned then, taking my hand and leading me to the kitchen. I’d put out two place settings on the breakfast bar, complete with a sprig of flowers and a jar of sparkling water.
“Five or six hours?” he rumbled, sitting down. The handsome man’s brow creased. “That’s a lot of papers that have to be copied.”
“I know,” I said, moving over to stir the red sauce again. “It’s insane. I think some of this stuff is just made up too. They don’t have enough work for me, so they’re asking me to photograph all sorts of manuals and handbooks to keep me busy.”
Chase leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table as he thought for a minute.
“Sweetheart, I’m not sure if this is going to go over well, but it doesn’t seem like you’re been utilized in the best way. You’re talented and smart, and that accounting firm seems hell-bent on keeping you in a support staff position.”
“Yes,” I nodded sadly, keeping my eyes on the bright orange, tangy sauce before me. “Like I said, I think the boss’s nephew is going to join the firm in a couple months, and they want to give the junior slot to him. So that’s it for me,” was my wry reply. “I’m going nowhere, I suppose.”
Chase thought for a moment again, and I could almost see the parts whirring in his head. But then those blue eyes turned towards me, fierce yet loving at once.
“Do you want to come work for me?” he asked. “I have a business as well, and we need an accountant.”
The paddle clattered from my hand onto the tabletop.
“Really?” I gasped. “You’d do that?”
He grinned, flashing even white teeth.
“Now I can’t promise too much,” he said, holding two palms up. “I think it’d be more of a bookkeeper position than an actual accountant, but yes, we’ve been thinking about hiring someone junior to help Marisa, my business manager. So it’s definitely a possibility.”
I ran towards him then, uncaring if I got tomato sauce on that perfectly cut black suit.
“Thank you,” I breathed into his ear, covering that strong jaw with kisses. “I’d appreciate it so much. Thank you for thinking of me,” I said almost tearfully.
And the handsome doctor didn’t hesitate. He took my face between two big palms while looking deep into my eyes, his gaze serious.
“No, thank you, Connie,” he said. “You’ve made my life so sweet, what with your home cooking and the way you take care of me,” he rumbled. “You’re the perfect package, all rolled into one.”
So how can I resist? Words like that made my heart pound, and I’m falling in love with the man, if I haven’t already. But at the same time, it’s important to be cautious because Dr. Roman hasn’t made any promises. We’ve never had “the Talk” with a capital T where you discuss where you are as a couple and where you’re going. Heck, I’m not even sure if we’re a couple, things are that vague.
But it feels so good to be with him despite the uncertainty, and I can only think that we’re growing closer because now I work for him, in addition to staying at his apartment. It sounds too close for comfort but actually, the situation is okay because we don’t see each other when we’re at the office.
But one day at my new job, a co-worker asked the question I’d been dreading.
“So are you and Dr. Roman an item?” asked Corrie. She was a bubbly blonde only a few years older than me who was training for a specialty in anesthesiology. I guess as a nurse anesthetist you can make a lot of money and still work reasonable hours.
But how to respond? On the one hand, I wanted to scream the truth and shout it out to the world. Yes! Dr. Chase Roman and I are in love. We’re a couple, and it feels good! But on the other hand, I was definitely overthinking things. In fact, the L-word has never been mentioned aloud. It was just something that I had in my head, the musings of a woman head over heels in love with her man.
But whenever I spoke about Dr. Roman, I couldn’t help but glow.
“Why do you say that?” I asked mysteriously.
Corrie giggled.
“Because of what you’re doing right now!” she said. “Look at you. You’re blushing and there are sparkles in your eyes.”
“There are?” I gasped, whipping out a compact to look at myself. But there was truth to Corrie’s words because the girl in the mirror was me, and yet not me. She was lit by a light from within, with warm caramel eyes and a sense of happiness and peace that radiated outwards. When had I become a happy mother goddess? It was crazy.
But suddenly, Corrie spoke and her words made me freeze.
“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” she asked importantly. “Trust me, I can tell from a mile away. Fertility is our business after all.”
I couldn’t move for a moment. Oh my god. I’d been so dumb because of course that was why Chase wanted me. Sure, we hadn’t reached any type of agreement ever since that proposition a month ago, but things were certainly going according to his plan. I was sleeping in his bed night after night, having unprotected sex four five times a night sometimes. We wanted each other that bad.
Was that the cause of my glow? They often say that pregnant women have a halo around them, and I certainly looked like I was emitting light.
“No, no I’m not,” I said quickly. “I can’t be.”
Corrie shot me a puzzled look.
“You can’t as in you haven’t been having sex? Or have you been using the fertility treatments here?” she asked on a whisper. “You know, it’s okay if you have. We tell all our patients not to be embarrassed of needing a little help. Nature sometimes just needs a little push.”
I blushed furiously again because yes, I’d been using the services of Sunset Medical, but not in the way Corrie was speaking of right now. I was having unprotected sex with Sunset Medical’s handsome lead physician non-stop, and that’s why I might be in danger.
So many thoughts were running through my head in a blur that I tried to change the subject to take some of the focus off.
“Oh my god, your puppy’s so cute!” I squealed with fake verve, pointing to the screen saver on Corrie’s phone. “Is that a Malti-poo or just a regular Maltese?”
And that did the trick because dog owners can be as crazy as the parents of human babies.
“Don’t say ‘just a regular Maltese,’” Corrie scolded playfully. “There’s no such thing as a ‘regular’ Maltese. The breed was bred to be a companion to kings, and was even the royal dog of King Louis XV. So there’s no such thing as ‘regular.’ Sugar is pure-bred with a heart of gold. I spend hours brushing her fur every week,” said Corrie, staring with adoration at the bundle of fur on her screen.
I would have laughed at the ridiculousness if my heart hadn’t been pumping with a mixture of panic and happiness. Because was I pregnant? Had it happened? It’d only been a month since Chase and I took up, and yet even just once is enough right? At least that’s what they always warn you in junior high sex ed classes. You can get pregnant from just one session if you don’t use protection.
So I was desperate to get to the drugstore to buy a pregnancy test. Oh my god. What would I say to Dr. Roman if I were pregnant? Would he be happy? Would he be elated? After all, he was the one who’d propositioned me. So he’d be on Cloud Nine right?
But suddenly, I remembered the terms of his particular agreement, and a chill ran through my soul. Because Dr. Roman had been extremely business-like about the whole thing. He’d said that he would support me financially, yes, but that we would also be co-parents. Nothing more, nothing less. We weren’t going to be a loving family, not by a long shot. We would be parenting the baby together, but also apart, as two entities interested in the welfare of a child.
Oh god. A lump rose in my throat and tears sprang to my eyes. Fortunately, Corrie didn’t notice because she was now scrolling through pictures of her dog on her phone.
“Sugar,” she crooned. “Mommy misses you. Mommy will be home soon, don’t you worry.”
I used her distraction to slip away to the women’s restroom unnoticed. And once I shut the door, I looked at myself in the mirror. Oh god, the glow was definitely there, but there was also a sense of apprehension and even fear. Because what if Chase stuck to the terms of the fertility deal? What if my handsome doctor wanted to be a babymaker and nothing else? I would be devastated … because I’ve already lost my heart to the handsome man.