Taking the flowers from Great Aunt Mildred’s funeral wasn’t stealing.

Was it?

Technically, I planned to borrow them. The family knew she loved white flowers, and the funeral parlor crammed was full of lilies and orchids and roses and everything else that, quite frankly, was a little depressing.

Great Aunt Mildred didn’t need the flowers anymore, and our florist didn’t have enough time to deliver anything but red carnations. Lindsey hated red carnations.

So, for what I hoped would be the first, last, and only time in my life, I went grave-robbing. I borrowed the flowers from a dead woman and snuck out of the back of the funeral parlor with baskets, bouquets, and wreaths.

I might have felt bad, but it wasn’t possible to think of myself as anything lower than the scum of the earth.

Because I was pretty sure that’s what Nate thought of me too.

He hadn’t called. I tried once, but I couldn’t will the words out for a voice mail. Texting was just as horrible. I had no idea what to say, what to write.

How to fix it.

I loaded the flowers in the car and hurried to the church for the final wedding preparations and rehearsal…cheese and crackers? It wasn’t even a dinner at this point. My great aunt’s insulted spirit wouldn’t have to haunt us to wreck the wedding. It was already a disaster.

And I wasn’t sure how much energy I had left to pull us together.

I hopped out of the car and promptly broke the heel on my black shoes.

Yep. That was karma. They were my only pair for the night, and I hadn’t brought a change of clothes. The mourning black dress seemed less sincere as I limped into the party with an armload of stolen—borrowed—funeral flowers.

I set the bundle on the card tables haphazardly sprawled across the church’s back lawn. The bridal party hustled to set up chairs, finalize the seating chart, write out name tags, string the lights and load the premade food into the fellowship hall.

Mom and Dad screamed at each other, though I had no idea what the family vacation from 1999 had to do with stringing crepe paper between rows of off center chairs. The Washingtons and Rick struggled with a busted ladder and a strand of flickering Christmas lights.

Lindsey surveyed the yard in yoga pants and white pumps, trying to break in her shoes and memorize pitted places in the grass. Bryce followed behind, discretely searching the ground too, but for something smaller than potential divots…

I pretended not to see the empty ring box in his hand.

All normal chaos.

I searched, but one person was still missing.

Nate wasn’t here.

The thought crushed me, but I didn’t let it show. My family was already in shambles, and I ran out of material to patch them together. At this point, I tugged only on strings, and most of them were mine as I unraveled.

We only had to survive one more day, then Nate and I could really discuss things without the shock fueling our arguments.

If it wasn’t too late.

“Well, I hope you’re happy, Conrad,” Mom stood, hands on her hips as Dad strung more crepe paper. “You got your wish. A small wedding in a fellowship hall. Or outside of it. Why aren’t you celebrating?"

“My hands are a little full right now, Sandra. We’ll leap for joy later, when the kids have an extra ten grand they can use for a down payment on the house.”

“They have their entire lives to pay off a mortgage. This day is special.”

“They’re getting a special day,” Dad said.

“How? In the middle of a backyard? With traffic and noise and no string quartet?”

“What do you want from me? It’s not like I can do CPR on Mildred!” He laughed as Mom sputtered. “Go ahead. Tell me her dying is my fault.”

“Your attitude isn’t helping!” Mom shouted. “This is their only wedding day!”

“We hope.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She pointed a finger at him. “Don’t you throw that in my face today of all days.”

Dad snorted. “I’m getting real tired of playing hot and cold with you, Sandra. I’ve accepted my fault in our marriage. When will you?”

“I accepted fault for thirty years!”

“Like hell.”

I found a chair at the far corner of the yard where I could ignore the screaming. I checked my to-do list.

Not much of it was doable.

I was supposed to check things off, not add more problems to solve. But nothing I said or did would forgive me for keeping the secret about the pregnancy.

Now it wasn’t about me. I had to think about the baby. I spent too long running scared, and it wasn’t fair to the little guy or girl who deserved as much love and attention and care as I could give. Part of that would include taking better care of myself.

After Nate had left, I tossed and turned and threw up all night. I was already a pregnancy-zombie, shuffling around in a state of tempered terror and exhaustion. I might have fallen asleep in the chair right there if Lindsey hadn’t screamed for the flowers.

That was my cue.

I rose, a little weepy and a lot nauseous. It was the classic pregnancy duo, back to strike me down. I emptied my car and dropped most of the baskets and wreaths near where we planned to set up the altar.

Lindsey stared at me like I’d dragged Mildred herself to the party.

She gasped. “Did you…take the flowers?”

“I borrowed the flowers. It’s not stealing. It’s resourceful.”

“But—”

I pointed at her, my voice a little too shrill. “Look. We’re pressed for time and it’s not looking any better. We have to adapt.”

“They’re funeral flowers.”

“So? We’re on our own right now, Lindsey. Do you understand? This is it. It’s our only shot. No one else is coming to help us. We can’t waste time and hope for the best. We have to do whatever we can to stay afloat. You’re either in or out, but I’m not going to stop when the only opportunity I have left is about to slip through my fingers. You got it?”

Lindsey’s mouth dropped open. She timidly nodded. “Yeah…yeah, whatever you want, Mandy. That’s fine.”

I headed back to the car for the last load of requisitioned flowers, but Rick stopped me before I snuck through the fellowship hall. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the dark and quiet beyond the set-up.

“Okay, Mandy,” he said. “What the hell was that?”

Rick didn’t take a shrug and frown for an answer. He stood in my way, arms crossed and doing his best impersonation of the big brother I never had.

“I’m fine,” I said.

“You’re not fine. You’re upset.” He lowered his voice. “Nate’s not here.”

“I hadn’t noticed.”

“Liar. Where is he?”

I wished I knew. “I don’t know. We had the talk yesterday. I haven’t seen him since.”

“You told him?” Rick swore. “And he ran off?”

It wasn’t like that. I covered my eyes.

“No. Look, he offered to marry me—”

“—Nate?”

“I said no.”

Rick took a little walk, huffing as he paced. “Why?”

Why didn’t anyone understand? “I won’t get married just because I accidentally conceived child.”

“That’s the way it’s done.”

“It’s not the right way for me!” I bit my lip. “I know I’d be happy with Nate. I can’t stop thinking about him. I’m completely overwhelmed by him. But I can’t marry him for the wrong reasons.”

“If you fell for him, then how can it be the wrong reason?”

“Because we’ve only been together for three months, and I’ve only been honest with him for like, eighteen hours.”

“You care about him.”

“I do, and that’s why I want to do this right. I want to know what we have is real. I’m not afraid of being alone in this. I’m afraid of losing Nate forever.”

Rick pulled me close. “Mandy, you will never be alone. You have your family. You have me. I promise you.”

I’d missed his hugs. He always knew what to say. I rested my head on his shoulder.

“It means a lot to me,” I said.

“It’s the truth. I want you to know if Nate doesn’t come through for you…I will.”

“You’re very sweet.”

He stroked my back. “This isn’t about being sweet. I know you don’t think it’s the right thing, but Nate offered to marry you so he could provide you with stability. It wasn’t just about how he felt, it was him taking responsibility.”

I hugged him closer. “Taking responsibility is a slippery slope into feeling resentment.”

“No.” Rick shook his head. “Not always. We’re men. We like to protect our woman and our families. What better way than to live with you, stay with you, take care of you?”

I sniffled. “I guess. But if I want more than that…?”

“Then you work at it.”

“I don’t even know if he’d ask again. Or what I’d say.”

Rick hesitated. “Mandy, I just want you to know you have more than one option here.”

“I do?”

“Yeah. You have me.”

I pulled away. Rick wasn’t smiling. He looked…serious.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“You can marry me.”

I froze.

He wasn’t…he didn’t actually mean…?

His divorce was hardly finalized and he offered to marry me?

“We’re not in love,” I said.

He nodded. “I know. But we’re friends. You and I have something special, and it’s something rare. I’d provide for you, keep you safe, give the baby a good home.”

“Rick—”

“Don’t answer now, because it’s probably confusing for you. But know that you will never be alone. Marriage is about more than fairy tales and cupids. It’s an agreement between two people with mutual interests who care about one an other. I hope you understand that.”

I didn’t.

I couldn’t.

I had no idea what to say or if I could even produce the words to puff out any sort of unflattering squeak. I swallowed.

A loveless marriage…but one that was built on friendship. If I hadn’t felt that thrill in Nate’s arms, I’d have thought Rick’s offer was the only logical way to approach a relationship.

But I’d felt the truth when Nate moved in me. Our passion wasn’t lust or selfish desire but a shared trust. In those few moments together, I found an eternity of happiness. Nate was everything I wanted, and what sparked between us was the beginning of perfect bond between two imperfect people.

“Thank you, Rick.” I pulled him into a hug. “You have no idea how much you mean to me.”

“I didn’t even get to use my line on you yet.”

“What’s that?”

He winked. “I’m a cardiologist. I’d never break your heart.”

I groaned. “A woman would be crazy to resist you.”

“Are you crazy?”

I bit my lip. “Rick…I…”

A shadow dropped over us, the light blocked from the doorway to the fellowship hall.

Oh no.

I knew exactly who it was. And I knew why he had stormed off.

Rick swore, but I left him outside, racing through the church.

What had he seen? What did he think he overheard? I rushed into the parking lot, staring through the darkness to stop him before he left. I hadn’t run fast enough.

“Nate, wait!”

His car peeled out of the gravel lot. He was gone. I sunk onto the stairs.

How was I going to get him back now?