“You didn’t come to the restaurant for breakfast, you didn’t order room service, and no one has seen you since last night.”
Bailey looked at Lacey standing in her doorway. The last thing she needed was someone watching her life fall apart.
“And you look like hell,” Lacey continued and nudged Bailey aside so she could enter. “At least let me fix you something from the single server in the kitchen. Or maybe I should just give it to you intravenously.”
Bailey didn’t want to offend her friend, but she wasn’t in the mood to see Lacey or anyone else. Except maybe the two people who didn’t want to see her. Lacey led her out to the patio and pointed to a chair at the umbrella table.
“Sit. And don’t move.”
Bailey sat, mostly because she didn’t have the whatever to argue. When Lacey handed her a full mug, she took it with shaking hands and gingerly sipped at the hot liquid.
Lacey sat in the chair across from her and studied her.
“Warren Blake was asking for you this morning. Wanted to know if I’d seen you. I gave him some lame excuse, which I think he bought.”
“Oh hell.” Bailey closed her eyes. “I’d better go find him.”
“Yes, but not just yet. Like I said, you really do look like hell. Actually, like someone who’s been crying for a week. Now, I know up until dinner last night you were wearing a smile, so what’s going on? What’s happened to throw your life into such an uproar?”
Bailey took another fortifying sip of coffee and tried to smile. Too bad her lips wouldn’t obey her instructions.
“I think I have totally screwed up my life.” Tears gathered in her eyes again. “I’ve made a real mess, Lacey, and there’s just no way to fix it.”
Lacey flipped a hand at her. “I refuse to believe that. How do you think I felt when a hurricane blew through here and destroyed the only home my daughter and I had, along with nearly all our worldly goods? Come on. Let’s figure this out.”
At once, Bailey felt ashamed of herself. Lacey had survived a disaster with her grit and sense of humor intact and come out on top of everything. And here she was, poor Bailey George, crying over a situation entirely of her own making.
Bailey sighed. “I can’t blame anyone for this muddle except myself. Maybe that’s the worst part of it. I was very, very stupid, and now I’m paying for it.”
“Would it have anything to do with the fact your son and the hunk who had you in a lip-lock the other night look enough alike to be father and son?”
“Everything.” She took another sip of coffee. The hot liquid didn’t solve her problems, but it was indeed making her feel a little better. At least it was helping her brain to settle.
Lacey leaned forward in the chair. “Bailey, you and I have become good friends. I don’t want to presume on the friendship by sticking my nose in where it isn’t wanted, but they didn’t look any happier than you do. Maybe if you tell me about it, I can figure out a way to help you fix it.”
“I don’t think there’s any fixing here.” Bailey brushed at her tears with the heel of her hand. “I’m not sure either of them will ever speak to me again, and rightfully so.”
Lacey gave an unladylike snort. “Listen. We’ve all been there, done that. You should ask Zoe Bradley what deliberate chaos her life was and how it almost cost her Oliver. In fact, for a while, she lost him to someone else. Or Jocelyn Palmer, who very nearly lost both Will and her dad. Come on, girl. We’ve all made mistakes compounded by youth and stupidity. So, give.”
What can it hurt? It’s all probably going to come out anyway, especially after Michael pushes me out of his life and Zack gets the hell out of here.
She fixed another cup of coffee for herself, sat down again, and let it all out. The whole story. All of it. What she did and why. To Lacey’s credit, she never said a word, just sat quietly and listened. Bailey talked. And talked. And talked. When she’d related every last unpleasant detail, she sat back in her chair, exhausted.
“So you see? I thought I was doing a good thing and ended up making things worse than I ever could have expected.”
Lacey nodded. “I agree it’s a mess, but not really the biggest. Was what you did stupid? In retrospect, yes. But, come on, Bailey, you were barely twenty years old. You loved this man and believed in your heart Zack would choose duty over desire. So you wanted to do the right thing for him.”
“He asked me why I never got in touch with him later. You know. After a while.”
“Call me curious, but why didn’t you?”
Bailey sighed. “Call me a coward. I was afraid of so many things. That he’d be as angry with me as he is now. That he’d hate me for keeping it from him. That maybe he’d even try to take Michael away from me, and I could not have handled that.” She blew out a breath. “In the end, it doesn’t matter. Because I’ve lost them both anyway.”
Lacey shook her head. “I’m not convinced of that. I’ve never seen two people look so miserable as those two men.
“Do you know where Michael is now, by any chance? I tried his cell, but he’s not picking up. And he’s ignoring my text messages.”
“Rumor has it he spent the night in Zack’s suite. I saw them just getting a table for breakfast before I headed over here.”
Bailey sniffled “They’re probably tearing me apart.”
“No. Uh uh. I don’t believe that. He’s had a bad shock—they both have—but he’s not going to turn away from you. I know for a fact your son loves you the way every mother hopes her kid will love her. And if Zack really hated you and wanted nothing to do with you, he wouldn’t still be hanging around the resort. He’d have hightailed it out of here and maybe taken Michael with him.”
That started a fresh spate of tears. Lacey got up and brought her a wad of tissues, which she stuffed into her hand.
“I don’t know how to fix this, Lacey,” she told the other woman in a tearful voice.
“You aren’t going to fix it sitting here watering the world with your tears and looking like ten kinds of disaster. I want you to get up, shower and dress, and put on your makeup. Pretend you’re going out on a hot date.”
“Hot date. Right.” Bailey made a sound between a hiccup and a snort.
“I mean it, Bailey.” She looked at her watch. ”Be ready in thirty. I’m sending the golf cart to bring you to my house. I’m not sure you’re ready to be in public yet, especially here at Casa Blanca.”
“Oh god,” Bailey groaned. “They’ll be up there, won’t they? I can’t face them now, Lacey. Maybe not ever.”
“You’ll have to do it sooner or later. But, first, pull yourself together then we’ll see what’s what.” She walked to the door. “And do not flake out on me, or I will come back and drag you out in front of people.”
“Uh, okay. I’ll do my best.”
But, after Lacey left, she sat for a long moment.
Too bad I don’t believe my best will be enough.
******
Zack had taken Michael to his suite where they’d spent hours talking, feeling their way toward each other, equally hungry for details about then other person. It had been an agonizing night for both of them as they tried to figure out this unexpected relationship, both venting their bitterness that Bailey had kept them from each other.
By four in the morning, they still had no answers, but exhaustion overtook them. Michael conked out on the couch, and Zack lay down in his bed, sure he’d never be able to sleep. He was shocked when he opened his eyes again and saw it was morning and Michael was standing in the bedroom doorway.
“I used one of the toothbrushes in your bathroom,” he said. “Hope that’s okay.”
“Of course.” He sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. “I could use a hot shower and a gallon of coffee. How about you?”
Michael nodded. “You bet. I went down to my car before and brought my duffel up here. I hope that’s okay. I just came back from a trip for Clay.”
He’d already told Zack about his job with Clay Walker and his architectural dreams.
“Great. Why don’t you go first while I check for messages and calls, since I had my phone turned off?”
Now they were sitting at a table on the restaurant patio, letting the breeze and the sunlight wash over them, and Zack realized they had come to a place where the question was, what next? He waited while the waitress refilled both his and Michael’s coffee cups. They had picked at breakfast rolls, neither of them with much appetite. And after the veritable waterfall of questions and answers, they seemed to have run out of conversation.
Or maybe they were both trying to figure out where to go next. Michael was a grown man. Twenty-four, with a bright future. It wasn’t as if Zack could snatch him up and take him back to Atlanta with him. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to go back to Atlanta. He had a son here he wanted to build a relationship with.
And Bailey was here.
Bailey, who he was so angry with yet couldn’t find it in himself to hate.
In the shower, with the hot water clearing his brain, he’d forced himself to take a look at things from her side. To be that scared twenty-year-old, so in love she didn’t want to ruin a man’s dream. To love someone so much you’d give up everything to let him follow that dream.
Okay, so it wasn’t the best way to look at it. And she sure hadn’t given him much credit if she thought he’d look at a wife and child as destroying his dream. So maybe Alaska didn’t seem like the place to go hauling off to with a brand-new infant. He’d like to think they would have worked things out so everybody won, but he remembered how addicted he was to flying and how excited he was to dive into his uncle’s offer. And worse than that. How he’d never really asked her what she thought. How he’d made his announcement and seemed to just assume everything could turn their lives upside down without giving her a chance to say yes or no. Or asking her how they could work it out. He’d just assumed it would be the way he wanted because flying was so important to him. His dream.
Okay, points to Bailey there. But couldn’t she have given him some credit for wisdom, too? Wait! Had he even shown any there?
“You look like you’re about as happy as I am.” Michael gave a short laugh.
“I am happy,” Zack insisted. “Are you kidding? I can’t believe I have a son who has turned out to be an outstanding individual. But…”
“But you can’t figure out whether to love or hate my mom, right?” He took a swallow of coffee. “I want you to know she’s been an absolutely great mom. Outstanding, even.” A note of pride crept into his voice. “And she just became a senior partner. That firm is stingy about who they ask to step into that position.”
“I always knew she’d be special.” Be special? Who was he kidding? She always was special.
“You never stopped loving her.”
Zack shook his head. “Not for a minute. What’s even worse? As angry as I am with her, I don’t think I’ll ever get over her.”
“Look.” Michael set his coffee cup down. “I’m not ten years old, kicking and screaming because I don’t have my daddy. And who knows? Maybe it wouldn’t have worked out if she’d gone to Alaska with you. I realize I can’t ever get back all those lost years but, sitting here, it occurs to me I don’t want to lose the future.”
“She’s got a lot to make up for,” Zack told him.
“I know, but—”
“No wonder I thought you reminded me of someone.”
Zack looked up to see Lacey Walker standing by their table. He’d been so engrossed in the conversation, he hadn’t even seen her walk up to them. He nodded to her.
“Hi, Lacey.” Michael rose to greet her, but she flapped a hand at him.
“Sit. Sit.” She shifted her gaze from one to the other. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen two more miserable people in my life. The only other face I’ve seen like that today belongs to your mother, Michael. I’d say she maybe outdoes both of you.”
“You talked to her this morning?”
“I did. She’s eaten up with guilt and dying because she knows she’s losing both of you.” She paused. “Is that right? Is she?”
“She told you the story?” Zack asked.
“She did. And, yes, we all agree she should never have kept you two apart all these years. But I’m just going to throw something on the table. You can find a way to forgive and maybe still have that life together. Or you can let the hate consume you and then you’ll all be miserable. You can get past this or not. Your choice.”
Zack looked at Michael, as conflicted as he was. But god. Over and above it all was his love for Lacey. Maybe this time he could look at her side of the story, something he hadn’t done twenty-four years ago. And maybe Michael could let all these good years with his mother override everything else.
“If you decide you want to do something besides sit here being angry at her and looking totally miserable, she’s at the villa. I told her I was sending the golf cart to take her to my house, but I think she’d be a lot happier to see the two of you.” She winked. “Just sayin’.”
Zack looked across the table at his son, who he was enormously proud of and who he intended to make an integral part of his life. The next move was up to him, and he had to make sure it was the right one.
“Okay, Son,” he said to Michael. “Let’s do this.”
He signed the check the waitress brought to him, then he and his son—his son!—left the table and headed toward the villa.