Lila allowed herself to indulge in every sensation, vowing to commit every touch to memory. This was going to be their last time together and she never wanted to forget how Nick made her feel, body and soul.
He stripped off his shorts and briefs, leaving nothing between them except her very tiny pair of panties. His body next to hers, skin to skin, fanned her desire and soothed her anxious heart.
“What’s wrong? Baby, look at me,” he crooned.
She did as he asked, locking her gaze with his. There was warmth, caring, even passion in the dark depths of his eyes. It was everything Lila dreamed about, not only while waiting for him to return, but all of her life. But people woke up from dreams, and for her it was just a matter of time until she had to face the truth.
Running her hands up and down his sides, she slid one between them and stroked his erection. He moaned part in agony, part in pleasure, so she did it again. And again.
“You’re going to set me off, Lila.”
“I don’t want to do that. Not yet, anyway.”
Inching her panties down, he ran his fingers along her center; she was ready for him and for once, Lila didn’t want the playing and teasing. She just wanted him, to be filled with his heat. She wanted him moving, driving her to a climax that would rock her for days.
“I need you, Nick. I need you in me.”
“Let me bring you along a little…”
“No. I want to make love. All night. Gentle and slow. Hot and dirty. However we can.”
“Jesus, Lila. Thinking about what I could do to you…”
“I know. But right now, I want you inside me. Please. Don’t make me beg.”
Raising himself above her, he looked down wickedly. “Not even a little?”
“Nick, please.”
With a pleasured laugh, Nick rolled, and in one quick move Lila was on top of him. His erection settled nicely against her and Nick gave her the kind of look that whispered I dare you.
Lila relished being in control. It gave her the chance to tease him unmercifully. With her knees planted, one beside each of his thighs, Lila bent forward and kissed him in the middle of his chest. Then she did it again, and again, moving down each time, following the patch of hair from his belly button to his very healthy erection.
She stared at it, then lifted her eyes to his and deliberately licked her lips. Nick drew a breath as she licked him from his balls to the tip of his shaft.
“Christ, Lila. What are you trying to do to me? I thought…”
“I want to make you crazy. How am I doing?”
She licked him again, and then slowly drew him into her mouth, inch by incredible inch.
“Fuck,” he ground out. “You’re doing great.”
Lila kept her eyes on his as she moved her lips; sucking, licking, and teasing him to insanity. When he got to the point of incoherence, Lila released him, slid up his body, and kissed him soundly. “Are you ready?” she asked.
He nodded, grinning seductively. “Oh, yeah.”
That’s when he grabbed her hips, lifted her over him, and lowered her down. At first, he went slowly, settling himself inside her, but then he surprised her with one powerful thrust that sent her desire into overdrive.
Bracing her arms on his, Lila moved. Slowly first, she caught her rhythm, and feeling every inch of him moving inside her, Lila rode.
This was perfection, a joining of bodies meant to be together. Matched before they ever knew each other, no one would ever affect her like he did. It was crazy and sane, a mess of contrasts, much like her feelings. They were all over the place, but everything came together when she and Nick forgot about who they were supposed to be. The walls came down and the uncertainty dissolved, if only for a moment. And Lila was happy.
Light exploded behind her eyes, sparks of fire and dreams of a future she and Nick would never have. They drove each other higher and higher. Nick held her tight as he pulled himself up to face her. He kissed her hot and deep, dipping his tongue in her mouth, edging her toward unreason.
“You’re amazing,” he ground out. “I thought about you every day I was gone.”
“I thought about you too. Missed you.”
He was so tall that even with her on his lap, they were face to face, and their eyes never left each other as the sensations built. He kissed her, again and again, until their frenetic pace slowed, becoming a glorious, intense torture.
The tiny shock waves started to hit her, growing with each thrust. Finally, the wave crashed through her, her body tensing as every nerve ending fired at the same time. Lila arched, and Nick held her safely against him as he climaxed too, pressing his face into her shoulder, calling out her name in the way only a lover does.
Lila wanted to tell him how she felt about him. That she loved him. But that would just add more twists to an already complicated situation. She didn’t want him to feel any more pressure to be the knight in shining armor.
“Lila, please don’t leave, not yet.” His words gripped her heart—hard.
“I have to leave,” she whispered into his hair. “But we have all night.”
With amazing ease, Nick brought her with him as he lay on the bed, tucking her body securely into his. “We should have every night.”
When Nick woke, the first thing he did was check the clock. Zero-three-hundred. On the dot.
That’s the time his captors would wake him for his nightly questioning and beating. And no matter where he was, if he wasn’t being kept in a coma, he woke like clockwork. But tonight was different.
Tonight he woke without the nightmare. For the first time since his captivity, Nick didn’t wake up reliving one beating or another. Running his hand slowly over the curves of Lila’s body, he wondered if she had anything to do with that. Dropping a kiss on her shoulder, he rolled away from her.
His mouth felt like he’d eaten a bowl of sand, so he headed for the kitchen and poured himself some water from the pitcher in the fridge. Leaning against the countertop, the cold granite on the small of his back felt good, easing the soreness in his spine. What the hell was he going to do about Lila? She was set on leaving, and if he didn’t think it was about getting away from him, he’d be fine with her jetting off to the palace to see his sister. But she was running, and for a woman who had declared that wasn’t her style she’d broken into a damn sprint. Why? That was the question. Why?
But it was about getting away from him, and he didn’t know how he was supposed to make her believe that he wanted to marry her. He couldn’t explain the latest push back, only that it burned.
Turning, he found his phone where he left it on the counter the night before and keyed in a text to Tony. Are you really sending the plane for her?
It’s leaving in an hour, came the reply. Problem?
Big problem. I need time with her to convince her marrying me is the right thing to do.
Is it?
What kind of question was that? Fuck, yes.
Why?
What are you, my shrink? She’s pregnant with my baby. She’s getting all kinds of shit at work. If we get married, she doesn’t have to deal with any crap.
I can’t live without her. He deleted that line before he sent the message.
You are without sense. She won’t marry you unless she believes you love her. Too proud. Your sister was the same way.
Well that’s bullshit. Nick was totally out of his element with the emotional stuff. Tell him to blow up a building, he was good to go. Infiltrate behind enemy lines and blend in? He was your guy. Emotions? He was a fucking lightweight.
The answer was slow to come back, but finally, it did. Did you tell her you love her?
No, he responded.
DO you love her?
Nick had no idea. He just knew the thought of her leaving left him feeling like he’d failed both of them. That he didn’t do enough. She deserved his best. She deserved everything.
His phone pinged.
Stop thinking so much.
What’s that supposed to mean?
It means Lila isn’t a mission you approach with a strategy. You have to prove she matters to you. That’s something you can’t plan.
Prove himself. Josie had pretty much said the same thing. He’d thought he was doing that by offering marriage. By committing his life to her and their child. If that wasn’t enough, if it didn’t show he cared, he didn’t know what else to do. Putting his phone down, Nick ran his hand along the back of his neck. God, women were so complicated. But this one was as important to him as breathing, so he had to figure her out.
“Nick?” Lila’s voice wrapped around him. Turning, he saw her standing in the doorway, looking more concerned than he deserved. She’d pulled on one of his T-shirts, which hung on her, covering her to mid-thigh. Still, she was a thing of beauty.
“Hey. Why are you up?” he asked.
“I should ask you the same question? Are you okay? Do you always get up at three in the morning?”
“Not always.”
“But often?”
Damn. She’d noticed. Nick felt a crack in his heart, and Lila worked her way inside. “Let’s go back to bed.”
He noticed as he got closer, she was staring at him, concerned, kind—her blue eyes sparkled in the faint light coming from outside. His erection was straining his briefs. Again. He just couldn’t get enough of her. “You make me as horny as a seventeen-year-old boy.”
“This is my fault?” she teased.
“It’s completely your fault.” Pulling her in, Nick tucked her head under his chin, and held tight. Her soft, silky hair smelled of tropical flowers and rain.
“What’s going on?” she asked quietly.
“I don’t want you to leave.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist, melting into him. She fit him like no one ever had.
“I know, but I need to go. It will give me time to think.”
“I’ll miss you. So much.”
“Nick…” His name came out on a whoosh of breath as he scooped her up and carried her to bed.
“It’s the truth.” Pulling the T-shirt over her head when he set her down, he nuzzled her neck, leaving a kiss at the curve of her shoulder. “Let me show you.”
Lacing her hands with his, Lila nodded and Nick slipped inside her. She moaned her pleasure as he moved with long, purposeful strokes. “I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you, too. I love you so much. But I need to be sure about us.”
Her words, so soft and sweet, ripped at him. “Don’t leave, Lila. Stay with me.”
Her legs were wrapped around his waist, and she tilted her pelvis so he could go deeper. He did what she wanted, bringing both of them right to the edge. Her quick breaths were audible as the pace quickened, and Nick had to keep himself from possibly hurting her. This was the fourth time they’d made love since yesterday afternoon, she had to be sore. But Lila’s body welcomed him easily.
His woman. The one he’d been made for.
Her back arched suddenly as her body clenched around his dick, squeezing and triggering his own release. He poured into her, marveling how they were in complete sync.
“I love you,” he whispered against her lips. “Please believe me.”
Lila drew a breath, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him close. “I want to.”
Examining Lila’s face, Nick saw he wasn’t going to change her mind. Something was holding her back. She was getting on a jet in a few hours and nothing he could say would change it. But he’d ask, one more time.
“Please stay. Let’s work on this.”
Shaking her head, she wasn’t budging.
“You won’t give me a chance?”
“Please understand…”
“Shit.”
He didn’t hear the rest of what she said because he wasn’t there for it. He pulled on his shorts and walked out the glass doors to the pitch black beach. Nick needed time to think, too.
* * *
Ten hours later, Lila squeezed Nick’s hand as she left the private plane terminal at the small airport in Naples where the royal jet was waiting for her.
“I’ll be there in two weeks,” he said. “Please don’t do anything dumb like marry a duke or something.”
“I’ll do my best. I’m sure everything will make more sense with some time apart.”
“I don’t know how. We need to work this out together, not apart.”
“Nick, my whole life is changing faster than I can keep up. I need time. You need time, too. Those nightmares aren’t going to go away just because you put a ring on my finger.”
The way his lips had narrowed told her she’d struck a nerve. He didn’t respond, but kissed her sweetly at the bottom of the jet’s stairs. “Safe flight.”
“I’ll let you know when I land.”
Once she ascended the steps and found a seat, it was only moments before they taxied toward the runway. Looking out the window, she saw Nick’s form getting smaller and smaller.
When she couldn’t see him anymore, Lila allowed herself to cry.