Hessa

I was relishing sleeping in on Saturday morning, knowing I had stacks of papers to grade, but enjoying just a moment longer in bed. My sheets were warm and cozy, my pillow inviting me to stay a little longer. But my brain was focused on replaying my encounters with Kai. All my awkwardness, his hot and cold treatment, his pet name for me. Ono, meaning delicious? Did that mean he thought I was tasty? Or he wanted to taste me? Or was he just teasing me? Call the fat girl delicious as she orders more sugary chocolate?

I tossed my sheets back and climbed out of bed in a huff. There was no use second-guessing things. I wasn't fat by any means. I was a size twelve for God's sake. That was smaller than the average American female. I wasn't overly self-conscious about my body and I wasn't going to let some muscled-up, tattoo-bearing, hazel-eyed lifeguard make me start doubting myself. So there.

With my attitude readjusted, I threw on some workout clothes and put my hair up in my standard ponytail. My doorbell went off, making me whip my head up from tying my tennis shoes. My pony whacked me in the eye and I hopped, one foot in a shoe, one barefoot, one eye squeezed shut and the other darting around. By some small miracle, I made it down the stairs and swung the door open.

My stinging eye became the least of my problems when I saw who'd darkened my door.

"Hessa."

"Rainna."

My sister. My twin sister. My twin sister who I hadn't spoken to in two years.

"May I come in?" She didn't smile and neither did I. But I did back up to let her step through the doorway.

You give her an inch, she'll take a mile, just like always. She waltzed right into my private space and helped herself to a seat on my couch.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, dear sister?" I sat down on the chair next to the couch and crossed my arms over my chest. I couldn't imagine why she was here. We'd said all we needed to say two years ago when I'd loaned her money yet again, correct as usual that she'd piss it away with nothing to show for it. The break had been a peaceful one, even though I'd find myself about to call her and putting the phone back down again, heart dropping at the loss.

We'd been close growing up, until we'd hit puberty. I hadn't changed much but Rainna became a wild child. She cut her hair super short, dyed it crazy colors and body piercings started showing up in random locations. I resented these changes as I took them as a personal offense. She didn't want to look like me anymore and that hurt. Things got worse after high school when I went off to college and Rainna jumped from minimum wage job to minimum wage job, all while only contacting me when she needed financial help from the responsible sister. I'd grumble, I'd give lectures, but I'd always give her the money.

Until two years ago. For whatever reason, I'd snapped, refusing to give her a damn penny and kicking her out of my house. When I was done, I was done.

She was following in the footsteps of our father, completely abandoning responsibility and letting everyone else pick up the slack. I hadn't had a choice when I was just a kid. He'd left us with our mother, traveling in his van all over the country, never remembering to write us on our birthday or send child support checks. When we did see him, he'd laugh off our concerns, saying we needed to "chill". I hated everything about his hippie lifestyle and now as an adult, I had no intention of being involved with anyone like that again.

Now we sat, staring at each other, cataloguing the differences that two years can make. Rainna's hair was longer than mine and dark brown now. She looked thinner but in a healthy, fit way. A few more tattoos decorated her arms and several facial piercings were noticeably missing.

"You look good, Hessa."

I snorted in response. Her eyes dropped and I watched her square her shoulders to try again.

"It's been two years." She looked up at me and I thought I saw a confidence and clarity in her gaze that had never been there before.

"It has. How's life been?" I did want to know what she'd been up to since I saw her last. I may not approve of how she was living her life, or how she was trying to use me, but that didn't mean I'd stopped caring. She was my twin; I'd never stop caring.

Her eyes softened at my question and I felt like we were eight years old again, sharing secrets in our indoor tent made of blankets draped over chair backs.

"I've been really good, Hess. I'm part owner of a tattoo shop north of L.A. I'm saving for a down payment for a small house up there." She stopped and the corners of her mouth turned down. "But I miss you."

I closed my eyes, savoring her words. My heart melted and I wanted to believe her so badly. But part of me still wondered if she was buttering me up for an outrageous request. I hated that I expected that from her, but years of similar treatment trained me to think like that.

"I miss you too, Rain." That was honest and I could give her that.

"But you won't forgive me, is that it?" The hardness was back in her eyes, dousing the hope that flared.

"It's not a matter of forgiving you. I'll always forgive you, you know that. What I won't do is continue to let you, or anyone else, treat me badly." I was tired of having this conversation. Maybe one day it would get through her thick skull.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and continued. "I know. I know I treated you badly and I'm sorry. I can promise I won't treat you like that again. I'm getting my life together. Finally. I hope one day you'll come to trust me. Can you at least keep an open mind about me?"

I'm sure coming here and apologizing, for the first time ever, took a lot of courage. I didn't know what her angle was, but I could meet her halfway and promise to give her a second chance.

"Thank you for your apology. And yes, I'll try to lock down the negativity and keep an open mind." I nodded, confirming my commitment.

A smile formed on her face, transforming her from average woman to beautiful creature. I'd missed that smile, so open and free with unrestrained happiness.

I put my hand on hers, giving her a squeeze meant to convey forgiveness, hope, and love. A small gesture to signal the start of our long journey back.

She stood up, looking ready to head out. She glanced down at the ottoman in front of the couch and promptly sat back down. Her hands shuffled the papers there, before grabbing them up in excitement.

"Are you writing a poem? A song?" She looked overly intrigued and I couldn't let her continue to read my inner most thoughts expressed on paper.

I snatched the papers out of her hands and held them to my chest. "Just playing around so I don't lose the plot dealing with teenagers all day."

She laughed, entertained by my attempt to cover my panic, I'm sure. "You're the last person who will ever 'lose the plot', Hessa. When you look up practicality in the dictionary, it pops up your picture," she said out of the side of her mouth, a wry smile in place.

"Exactly. That's why I write. To make sure I don't lose my mind. They say using both sides of your brain leads to a lower chance of mental decline later in life."

Rainna chuckled and walked to my front door. "I'm sure they do. See you soon?"

"Absolutely."

Kai

"Have you heard anything about an online dare or challenge game?" I was sitting on the beach, stretching to prepare for my run. After my disastrous talk with Hessa, I'd decided to call Jack, a detective at HB Police. I had that feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was off. It may have nothing to do with Hessa's Care Dare, but I'd bet my life there was something organized going on, causing these people to attempt dangerous stunts. It wouldn't hurt to call Jack and rope him in on it. As a precaution.

"Hmm. I don't think so, off the top of my head. Would you give me more information on what you're talking about?" Jack's voice came through the phone dead serious.

I gave him the quick version on the two saves I'd made, the wording that they used, and my suspicions about Hessa's program.

"Isn't that Bailey and Esa's new friend? The school teacher?" Jack's voice perked up.

"I think so. Wait, are they friends?" I was confused. I figured they knew each other, but friends? The woman drove me crazy in the best and worst of ways. I wasn't sure I could handle seeing her at all our group gatherings. Esa took her Beach Squad seriously. If she wanted Hessa, that girl was as good as branded.

"Yeah, I think so. Bailey was talking about their shopping trip the other day and they're planning on getting together today to run on the beach. I assumed that meant they were friends. But those girls are crazy, your guess is as good as mine. They do what they want and I'm sure they'll tell us about it later when it suits them." Jack sounded about as frustrated as I was.

Time to move the conversation on so I could get to my run and burn off my frustration. "Okay, well let me know if you hear anything about these dares. If anything else comes up on my end, I'll give you the heads-up."

"Sounds good, brother. Be safe."

I turned my phone off, stashed it in my glove box and locked my truck. I was about to walk over to the cement walkway when I spotted a gaggle of women walking on the sand down by the water. Based on the volume and cackling, it was easy to see it was the very women Jack and I were discussing.

My eyes sought out Hessa, finding her in the middle of the pack, that blonde hair up in a ponytail swinging in the wind as they walked. My gaze traveled downward, taking in the sway of those hips, the ones I'd had my hands on for too brief a moment the other night.

The sound of her laughter carried over and I could barely control my body from moving toward her. It was like every cell in my body knew I needed to be near her, while my head didn't want anything to do with another argument with her. I had always enjoyed peace and quiet, and I experienced anything but that when I was with her.

With that reminder in my head, I spun around and began jogging the opposite way. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen and she was getting under my skin, but she wasn't for me.

Hessa

Today was turning out to be the oddest day ever. It started with my sister's unexpected visit and all the emotions that churned up. Then I'd gotten a text from Bailey, inviting me to join her and her friends at the beach for a jog. I'd tried to let her know there was no 'I' in jogging, before I realized there actually was one, and she insisted I come. It was the promise of frequent walking breaks and brunch afterwards that lured me in. Getting further intel on Kai from the ladies wasn't part of the decision process at all. Nope.

When I'd arrived, I realized the Beach Squad, as they called themselves, consisted of quite a few ladies. I'd met Bailey and Esa, of course, but I was also introduced to Brinley, the most stunning specimen of a woman I'd ever seen. Then there was Shasta, a pretty, middle-aged woman who owned a self-defense studio here in HB. And Autumn, who had these legs that were so gorgeous I wanted to take a picture of them as a physical example of perfection.

"Ladies, I must tell you, I don't jog much. Like at all. So, if you need to leave me, just run ahead. I'll take no offense." I was nervous surrounded by all these beauties, my self-confidence taking another hit.

"Yo, Hessa. I'm gonna lay this out straight away so there's no confusion. You're part of the Beach Squad now. We don't leave a woman behind. Period." Shasta laid a gentle hand on my shoulder, her fierce gaze telling me she wasn't joking.

I nodded. "Okay, got it." Hello, intimidating.

"I doubt you do, but you'll catch on." Shasta squeezed my shoulder and gave me a warm smile.

We started up at a slow jog pace, Autumn and Brinley leading the pack with entertaining stories about swimsuit malfunctions during volleyball games. I didn't say a word; I just focused on putting one foot in front of the other and not making a fool of myself.

Just when I thought my lungs might actually catch on fire with all the burning that was going on, Bailey called for a break. We slowed to a walk and my calves begged me to give it up already. I figured out how Autumn got those legs and I wanted no part of it. Perfection was overrated.

"Ready to pick it up again?" Brinley called out, enthusiasm dripping from every word.

"For the love..." I muttered. Esa shot me a sympathetic look.

I limped along in the back, cursing myself for ever meeting these girls. Cursing the cell phone that delivered the text inviting me here. Cursing my decision to locate to HB where these sadists lived. Why did the sand shift and give me nothing to push off of? Why did the beach go on for so long? Why were we running when society had invented automobiles, therefore negating the need for physical exertion?

Finally, the burning and huffing and puffing was so bad I had to tap out. "Sorry--girls--I can't--go--any further," I gasped out, stopping to stoop over and gulp in oxygen.

The girls all stopped and gathered around me. "No worries, girlie. I was wanting a break too. Why don't you catch your breath and we'll just walk?" Esa was sweet to offer me an out.

I looked up at them and realized no one else looked like they were about to pass out. "How the hell do you all do it? Am I really that out of shape? I can't drag my fat ass for a paltry mile run?" It was depressing. I'd be embarrassed later, once I was reassured I'd survive this torture.

"Oh hell, no." Bailey pushed her way in front of me, dragging me back up to standing. "Not one of us has a fat ass around here, and even if we did, we'd celebrate that thing. Bad asses come in all shapes and sizes, my dear. And speaking of asses. If you continue to throw shade at yours, I will kick your ass. You got me?"

"Um..."

"Leave the girl alone, B. You're scaring her." Esa wedged in and drew my attention away from Bailey. "What she's trying to say is that we're all about loving our bodies around here. We love their shapes, sizes, and quirks. We still work to be as healthy as we can, but we let go of any shame about our physical selves. Life's too short for that shit, you know?"

Shasta interjected. "You're Beach Squad now. We're a group of women who truly believe in ourselves as human beings, not just as women. We don't impose society's beauty rules on ourselves. We recognize and create our own beauty, no matter what form it comes in. We don't care to shrink down smaller. We strive to live big. We have more to offer than six-pack abs or a booty that don't stop. And I bet you do too."

I blinked. A wave crashed onto the sand, spraying mist up into the air. A seagull swooped low over our heads and skimmed the water. A child ran screaming from the water into her parent’s arms. I took it all in and let it swirl through my brain. These women, those words.

It was like a calming wave of empowerment filled up my chest cavity, leaving my heart on fire and my brain at rest. The bitch voice in my head was silent for the first time since puberty. I didn't know exercise endorphins were this intense, but maybe I'd be doing more jogging if I could feel like this again.

I began softly, my voice gaining confidence as I laid it all out there. "I felt like a fish out of water when we first started our jog. Now I know for sure I've found my tribe. You ladies are a gift and I'm blessed to be part of your group." I gave a big smile to each of them. "Thanks for pulling my head out of my fabulous ass."

"Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!" Bailey pulled me into a hug, then sent me down the line to hug everyone else.

I woke bright and early Monday morning, getting ready for another day teaching the bright minds of our youth. I took extra time to wear one of my new outfits picked out by Bailey, enjoying the way the tailored skirt and shirt fit my body, confident in all my curves.

When I bustled onto campus, I went straight to my classroom to make a list of which students still needed to turn in their dare approval sheets. Ten minutes before the first bell rang, my door swung open and a group of students rushed in all talking at once.

"Slow down, guys. One at a time, tell me what's going on." I held my hands up, trying to bring the excitement level down a few notches.

"Ms. Woodland. Is it true? Are you going to do the dare too?" This question came from Alessa, a bright girl in my third period English class.

"Me? Do a dare? No. That's definitely not on the table." I chuckled, wondering what she was thinking.

"But you've been dared already! Are you saying you won't do it?" Josh piped in, looking confused.

I furrowed my brow, trying to piece together what he as talking about. "I don't know what you mean, Josh. I haven't been dared."

"Yes, you have. See?" Alessa held up her iPhone, showing my own Instabook page.

The top cover photo was gone. In its place was one sentence: I DARE you, Hessa Woodland: sing one of your songs publicly. #CAREDARE