CHAPTER 6
When Tessa awoke the next morning, she, by instinct, moved her arm over to the other side of the bed. But touching nothing but air, the reality of her situation came into brutal clarity. The images of last night- the party, the drugs, seeing Lucas in the middle of being pleasured by two girls whose ages combined probably weren’t much more than Tessa’s- flooded her mind. She felt sick, she felt weak, and she felt lost. She lay in bed for a time, not wanting to move, as though she could pretend that reality wasn’t what it was simply by refusing to interact with it.
Eventually, however, she made the decision to not be a weak woman, lost without her man. Placing both feet on the ground, she stepped out of bed. The bedroom was just as sunny and cheerful as it had been the previous morning, but now she was alone. Her first stop was the bathroom, to take a long, hot shower, as though she could wash away the memories of last night. As she soaked, she realized that at the very least, she could wash away the grime that the air at that horrible party seemed to be full of.
Stepping out and wrapping a towel around her body, she thought about just what her husband had gotten himself into. Tessa had considered that he was having an affair, and had considered that he had picked up a substance abuse problem- what other reasons could a husband have for acting the way he did, after all- but what he was into was something that she wasn’t prepared for at all. She couldn’t tell for certain by what she saw over the course of that horrible minute, but it appeared that Lucas was involved in the meth business- not simply using it, but dealing it. There were hundreds of young adults, kids, just about, at that party last night, and judging by the amount of drugs in that room, it wasn’t hard to believe that he was responsible for supplying the whole thing. She wondered how the artist she fell in love with so many years ago could fall so low as to get involved with something like this.
Tessa threw on some simple clothes, making sure to put what she wore the previous night in a sealed bag for fear of that astringent, industrial smell of burning meth would infect the house. And as she tossed the plastic bag stuffed full of her clothes into the back of her closet, the image of the two girls came into her thoughts like an invader. She knew that the sight of her husband sitting at the edge of the bed, his cock deep in the mouth of another woman while yet another serviced him, would be burned into her memory for as long as she lived. She cursed Lucas for doing this to her, knowing that these two girls were likely just two of many others.
And their age stuck in Tessa’s mind like a pebble in a shoe. She knew that she was still beautiful, that she was still an object of desire for men. But she also knew that however attractive she might be now, it wasn’t going to last forever. When she married Lucas, she had hoped that he would be the man that she would grow old with, that he would still be at her side when her looks faded, that she wouldn’t have to worry about finding someone knew, that that part of her life was taken care of. But it wasn’t to be. And now, just a few years short of 40, she found her world turned upside down. Not only was she left to pick up the pieces, but she now had to wonder whether or not she would ever again find someone to love.
After finishing her morning routine, she stepped into the kitchen. She wasn’t hungry in the slightest, but she knew how easy it would be to ignore her appetite and let the stress take over her body. She was determined not to let that happen. Pouring herself a tall glass of orange juice and a small bowl of granola, she ate and drank, forcing down each swallow as she stared listlessly out of the window. As she watched the gentle rustling of the leaves in the trees, she even felt something approaching calm and peace.
But the rumbling of a motorcycle up the path to their home broke that feeling right in half.
Tessa’s stomach dropped when she heard the sound of what couldn’t be anything other than Lucas’s bike approach the house. Looking down, she saw that her hands were shaking as the noise grew louder. Soon, Lucas appeared on the path leading to the home, racing towards the house. Lucas drove the bike right onto the lawn, letting it drop out from under him and onto its side when he reached the house.
“Tessa!” he shouted as the engine died. “You get out here right now!”
Tessa ducked away from the window, watching Lucas run up to the door and attempt to open it. She thanked herself for having the presence of mind to lock the deadbolts last night, though she knew this wouldn’t stop him if he was truly determined.
“Get out here right now!” he yelled, his face twisted in rage.
She stayed still, fear creeping over her body. Opening the kitchen junk drawer, she removed the mace that she kept in there, feeling disbelief at the fact that she might have to use it on her own husband. Steeling herself, she walked to the front door and opened it, looking into Lucas’s eyes as she did so.
“There you are,” he said, his voice edged with anger. “What the hell did you think you were doing last night? Huh?”
Tessa said nothing.
“Coming to Dusty’s place like that. You have no idea what kind of people were there!”
She still said nothing.
“And I don’t know what you think you saw, but it wasn’t what it looked like,” he said, his body tight and tense as a bowstring pulled taut.
Now Tessa was angry that he would think she was so stupid. But she said nothing.
“You better say something,” he said, his hands clenching and unclenching as he stood on the lawn.
She didn’t know what to do. She was trying to stay strong, to look tough, but she knew that she wasn’t prepared to handle this confrontation. It wouldn’t take much for her to break into wracking sobs. Tessa wished that she’d just stayed inside and hoped that he might leave.
“I said 'say something!’” demanded Lucas.
“You need to leave and never come back,” said Tessa, her voice weak.
“What?” said Lucas. “You think you can tell me to leave my own damn house? You got another thing coming.”
He paced back and forth for a moment, as if deciding just what to do. Then, he turned to face Tessa, and began walking towards her.
“Not at a chance in hell you’re gonna tell me what to do.”
But then, just as he seemed poised to do something terrible, a strange thing took place. Right at that moment, Tessa spotted the shaking of leaves in the distance at the edge of the lawn. Her eyes tracked to the spot as Lucas’s stayed fixed upon her. From within the dense, green leaves, emerged a massive, dark animal; it was a black bear. Tessa didn’t know how but she recognized it instantly as one of the bears that she saw last night, and not only that, but the one that approached her. Just as it did yesterday, the bear stared at her impassively. It stood still once it fully emerged from the forest, standing there for reasons Tessa didn’t understand.
But something about the bear’s presence filled her with a sense of safety. She felt as though it were watching out for her, a thought that she instantly recognized as silly, if not insane. What she felt, however, couldn’t be disputed.
Then, before Tessa could say anything, the bear made its presence known. It stood up on its back legs and let out a deafening, mighty roar- a roar so loud and powerful that it shook the branches of the nearby trees and sent the birds perched upon them into the clear, blue sky above.
“What the hell?” said Lucas, turning around and staggering at the sight of the black-furred beast.
Tessa took advantage of the distraction and ran back into the house, setting every lock on the door and rushing back into the kitchen.
“This isn’t over!” said Lucas, lifting his motorcycle back upright and hopping on top of it.
With that, he revved the engine and flew down the path, disappearing down the road, the bear watching him carefully as he left, as though to make sure he was gone. Tessa listened as the engine faded, the sound diminishing as Lucas drove away.
From the safety of the kitchen, she watched as the bear looked towards the house, then back towards the road. He looked to Tessa like some kind of guard at his post, making sure that no one approached without his knowing. Then, after a time, he disappeared back into the trees, leaving Tessa in the silence that there had been only a few minutes before.