I run out of the room, all the way to my bedroom. My heart is beating hard and fast, my stomach in knots. But not from fear of Adir, or at least not all of it. I remember the look on his face when he saw me sitting in his chair with his writing on my lap. The look of utter vulnerability. Of betrayal. Like he couldn’t understand why I would hurt him like that. In his eyes, I could see he thought I had stripped him bare and he wasn't ready for it, and in that moment, I was ashamed. Ashamed to have violated his privacy, snooped through the one area he told me was off limits. Read his private journal.

But, if I’m honest with myself, I don't regret it. Not when I consider the knowledge I've gained. Not after catching a glimpse of who he really is inside. He never would have let me see that side of him voluntarily. Not when he actively maintains such a gruff, uncaring exterior; only showing lust, anger, ruthlessness. No, I don't regret taking the chance, but I do regret hurting him. I turn to my closed bedroom door, my breath slowly calming. He shouldn't be ashamed of himself. He’s beautiful. I consider the door. He should know that I admire everything I discovered. That I admire the him I saw in that journal.

I hesitate with my hand on the knob, he probably doesn't want to see me right now. This could just be one more bad decision after the last. But then I recall the expression of utter vulnerability, and yes, fear in his eyes. I can't let him worry over me judging him. He needs to know what I think. Shoring up my courage, I open the door and walk out. This is probably an extremely stupid idea. I rub my damp palms on my dress as I make my way back over to the study. The door is closed again, but there’s light coming out from underneath, through the crack. He's still inside.

Taking a breath, I raise my hand and knock lightly. No answer. I wait, wondering if I should just leave. It's most likely the smartest move, but I wait. Father always tells me I'm too stubborn for my own good sometimes. I have to admit he may have a point.

"Lips soft as a rose, words spilling forth sharp and pointed," I say quietly at the door, knowing he'll hear me. I repeat a few more lines from the poem then pause, hoping for some kind of response. None comes. "It's beautiful," I finally say when it's clear he isn't going to say anything. "Is it yours?"

I wait. Nothing. Maybe he doesn't want to hear what I think. Maybe I'm giving myself too much credit. Why would he even care about my opinion? Maybe he’s just angry that I didn't listen. I take a slow step back, disappointed. Maybe I'm reading way too much into everything.

The door opens.

"You liked it?"

His face is carefully composed, his eyes painfully vulnerable. This is him. The part of him that wrote all of those beautiful words, the part that he hides away like a dirty secret. The part that makes me want him even more.

"Yes," I say with a smile. "I'm sorry for reading your work without your permission," I take a step forward, "but it was beautiful."

"Beautiful?" he repeats, his face still unreadable.

"Yes," I agree, stepping even closer.

This isn't smart. In fact, it's incredibly stupid. But I find I just don't care. The Prince with the dominating presence and dark sensuality is temptation enough, but the Adir whose secret place is surrounded by books, who keeps his words hidden to protect himself— he’s irresistible. And I'm feeling reckless.

I place my hand on Adir's chest. He looks down at it, going still.

"I want that part of you," I say quietly, his heart beating faster under my hand. He looks up at me, his eyes intense as they meet mine. "I want that part of you...to have me."

"Be careful," he warns, his voice deeper as he watches me. "You don't know what you're playing with. Or how far I'll go."

I should heed his warning. It would be the safe thing to do.But I've already come this far. Safe is apparently no longer in my vocabulary. I swallow, taking another step closer until the front of me skims the front of his body and I know just how much he wants me.

"I want that you," I repeat, licking my lips. "I think...I know you want me too."

He growls, reaching down to wrap his hands around my wrists and twists my arms behind my back, pushing me firmly up against him with his grip. I gasp at the abrupt heat of the contact, our bodies pressed together in one, long line. The beat of his heart hammers through the hard length of him.

"Yes, I want you," he says in a low voice. "But do you really know that you want me? Think carefully," he says quietly, his eyes searing. "Your innocence will be gone. I will not hold back."

I frown, irritated at the almost condescending words. "Do you think I’m incapable of knowing who I want to give myself to?" I shoot back, pulling at his hands but finding mine firmly, yet gently, trapped.

"No," he says, shaking his head slowly. "I just want to be certain before I take you." He lowers his head until his hot breath hits my ear. "Before I make you scream with pleasure. Before I make every inch of you mine." He bites my earlobe gently, making me shudder. I'm well and truly out of my league. "I won't be a pretty, gentle lover. I want you too badly. Are you sure that is what you want for your first time?"

My heart beats so hard in my chest I know he can feel it. Heat pools between my legs, my breasts are full, tender against him. My body is ready for everything he's promising. And I want the man I caught a glimpse of. Badly.

"I've never wanted anyone like this before," I whisper.

He nods and then sweeps me up in his arms, walking me away from his study.

"Where are we going?" I ask, wrapping my arms around his neck, butterflies in my belly. I want this but I'm nervous too. What if he thinks my inexperience is unattractive? What if I don't know what to do? What if this whole thing is a mistake and it turns out to be a complete and utter disaster?

"To my room," he says in a low voice, his eyes hot as they look at my body. "I want a bed for your first time."

I nod, thrilled at that simple statement. Then we're in his room and he kicks the door shut with a foot. I catch a glimpse of a modern, large space complete with a sitting area and a bed bigger than any I've ever seen. But I don't have time to admire the room. He sets me down on my feet and unzips the yellow dress, not wasting any time. Nerves flutter in my belly as I help him take it off, until I'm standing in just my bra and panties.

He reaches for my bra and I tense.

"Shh. You're beautiful," he murmurs, kissing my neck as he slowly pulls it off.

My panties are gone in the next instant, a puddle on the floor.

"Step out of them," he says in a low voice, the voice that has me trembling with want. That voice is a weapon.

I step out of them and flick off my shoes, a slight chill in the air now that I'm completely naked. I shiver, moving to cover myself, but Adir stills my hands.

"No," he says in a thick voice. "Let me look at you."

I finally look up to meet his eyes, but find his scanning my nakedness. The way he looks at me, I’m not quite so self-conscious anymore. Not when there's no mistaking his desire. His breath comes faster, his cheeks are flushed, his jaw tense.

"You too," I say huskily, reaching out to tug at his clothes. "Take them off."

"In a minute."

And then he's pushing me back against the bed until I lie down, my feet still on the floor. His weight is on me in the next second. I gasp as his mouth comes down on mine, his tongue slipping expertly inside. I expect it to be ravenous, deep. But it's gentle. Exploring. I hum in the back of my throat, my hands creeping up to wrap around his neck as I give myself to the kiss. Our first kiss. My first kiss and I'm already naked. A bit backwards, but I'm not complaining.

His hand skims down my side, grazing the side of my breast and my thigh. I groan, acutely aware of every point we touch. His chest on mine, his legs against mine. His mouth. His cock throbs against me, the thick length impressive and a little frightening. How will that possibly fit? The thought drifts away as he leaves my mouth to kiss down my neck, his fangs scrape against skin, sending shivers down my spine. He groans as he reaches my breasts, shaping them with his hands as he rubs his face against them. I slide my hands into his soft hair as I arch up when his mouth closes over my nipple.

"Oh!" I gasp. I twist under him as his hot suckling makes me clench, a new wave of wetness between my thighs.

"Too hard?" he murmurs, kissing my nipple and looking up at me, his hand cupping the round curve possessively.

I shake my head. "I didn't know it would feel like that," I say, my face flushing.

He grins, the dark edge to it so hot. I want whatever that smile is promising even if I don't quite know what it is.

"There's a lot more than that," he assures me, lowering his face to my other breast. "Much more."

I want to know it all. I roll my hips against him as he suckles even harder, his fangs pressing against me, his hands petting me, shaping me. There's so much sensation coming in at once. "I don't know if I can handle more," I confess, unable to remain still.

"You can," he growls, leaving my chest and kissing his way down. "You will."

And then he's between my legs, his broad shoulders pushing my legs wide apart. I fight off the urge to snap them shut as he looks at me, staring for a long moment.

"Gorgeous," he mutters. "Look at how ready you are for me."

He meets my eyes as he lowers his head and licks a long line right up the center of me. My eyes shut at the almost too intense sensation, at the thought of him down there, the thought of his mouth on me. And then he licks at my clitoris, his experienced tongue drawing small circles, flicking at me. I groan, my legs starting to close of their own accord. It's too much. But his large hands immediately grip the insides of my thighs and hold them apart, continuing the mind numbing torture with his mouth. My hands fist in the sheets as I try to twist away, something big building inside me. It’s dangerous. Like it will take me over somehow.

"I...I can't," I mutter, my legs trying to close again.

"You can," he growls.

And then he licks me harder. Faster. The pressure building tighter and tighter. The tingling sensation inexorably coalesces in the center of me, a wave of warmth flushes every cell. I open my eyes and look down at his large body between my thighs, his mouth on that most intimate part of me. I cry out as the pressure abruptly snaps. I throw my head back as the pleasure washes over me, through every inch of my body as he keeps his mouth on me. Keeps me at the height of the pleasure, drawing it out, making it last. I groan, my head tossing to the side as he wrings me out, plays me expertly until my body finally goes limp, everything taken. I'm floating.

He gives me one last kiss and then his weight leaves the bed. Sighing, I open my eyes a crack to watch as he quickly undresses, his eyes on my splayed body. I feel way too good to be self-conscious. Adir’s body is impressive as he reveals it efficiently. And in this case, I definitely appreciate efficiency. Large, muscled, strong arms, and thick legs covered in soft hair. His heavy erection already leaking. I rise up to my elbows as he sets a knee on the bed, his eyes intent on the place between my legs.

"Wait," I say, coming up to my knees. "I want to touch you."

"You can touch me later," he says in that gravelly voice.

"No," I say stubbornly. "I want to know what you like too."

"I like everything," he counters, but gives in. He lies down on the bed, his gaze lingering on me. "But I only have so much patience right now," he warns.

I'll take what I can get. I climb on to of him, running my greedy hands over his hot skin, combing my fingers through his chest hair, enjoying the grip of it. I rub his small, flat nipple.

"Do you like to be touched here?" I ask.

"Hmm. That feels nice."

Pushing my hair back, I lean down to lick at it, figuring maybe he'll like that too. I certainly did. He combs his fingers through my hair, sighing as I bite down gently on the small nub. But my eye is really on the impressive length resting on his stomach. Scooting back, I look up as I take it in my hands. His body tenses a little.

"How do you want me to touch you?" I ask, enjoying the hot, silky skin stretched tight over his rigid length. It’s so alive. So vital.

"Slide your hand up and down," he says, his eyelids lowering as he watches me comply tentatively. His cock throbs harder. "Yes," he sighs. "That's good."

I stroke his length, fascinated. It's so big, so completely male. I watch as his balls clench.

"How about here?" I ask, reaching down to touch them, stroking the delicate skin. It's so soft.

He lets out a strangled sound. "Yes, I like to be touched there," he grates out. "You can cup me there. Squeeze me, but not too hard."

I cup the heavy weight of his sack, squeezing cautiously, not wanting to hurt him.

"Good?" I ask, looking at his face.

His eyes are closed as he bites his lip. "Yes, good," he agrees.

But he isn't going as crazy as I was. I look down at his thick shaft, at the tracery of veins running up the underside. His mouth felt really good on me. I dip my head and lightly lick the glistening head. His hips move as he gasps, his eyes snapping open to look down at me.

"No?" I ask, raising my head immediately.

He shakes his head, chuckling. "It feels good," he explains. "It would feel even better if you take the tip in your mouth."

"Oh."

I pick up his erection and point it upwards, it's already wet at the tip. He very carefully doesn't move. Curious, I lick at it. It's pleasant, a little salty. I take him into my mouth and he lets out a hoarse sound, his hips starting to move again. He makes an effort to stop himself, to stay in place for me. I slowly slide my head down a little, licking at the swollen head. I touch him with my hand where my mouth can't reach, exploring what makes him tense, what makes his cock shudder.

I pull my mouth off, stroking as I look up. "Like that?" I ask.

He nods, his head turned to the side. "Yes, that's good. If you suck a little, that feels good too."

Nodding, I slide my mouth back over him. And suck. He groans, his hand sliding into my hair. I keep up the licks and the suction, but only for a few more seconds. He tugs gently and I lift my head.

"Not what you wanted?" I ask, concerned. "Did I hurt you?"

He laughs again, breathless. "No, no. It was almost too good." He sits up, cupping my face, his eyes almost soft as he meets mine. "But I want to be inside you when I come."

"Oh." Oh.

"Lie down," he says, his hands sliding over me as he helps me down and then he's between my legs, the large, wet length of him in his hand.

His eyes meet mine. "Ready?"

I look at his erection with a mix of excitement and trepidation. I've seen pictures and videos before, but none of them compared to this. It's impressive.

"How will it fit?" I blurt out.

He groans, his hand tightening on himself. "I'll go slow," he promises, pushing my legs up and apart to make room for himself. "As slow as you need me to."

I nod, nervous but wanting him inside me. I watch as he lowers himself, his head sliding against me. His eyes meet mine, the dark possessiveness in them sending another thrill through me.

I want this. I want him.