Do you have a minute, Meg?

Her reply is nearly instant. Always, for you. What’s up?

How are you feeling?

I’m bloated, hungry and happy. But what’s going on with you? I know you’re not reaching out just to ask about my health.

It’s nice to have a friend who knows me so well.

Agreed. Now, spill — does this have anything to do with your biker. And his TWIN? (Zoe told me!!!)

I need advice, I write.

The text window is instantly replaced with an incoming call alert.

“Hi…”

“Hey, sweetie,” Megan says. “Thought it would be better if we talked.”

“Are the guys home?”

“Late practice tonight. Meetings too, probably. I’m glad you got in touch. This big house can feel awfully empty when Brock and Cody aren’t home.”

“It won’t be empty for long,” I remind her.

She’s silent for a beat, and I know she’s smiling. “So what's up? Did your biker twins take you out to get a tattoo and now you regret it?”

Laughter bursts out of me and it feels so good. The ultimate stress reliever — next to sex.

“No,” I say, still laughing until my voice turns serious. “I wish it were that simple. I'm in big trouble, Meg.”

“Have they kidnapped you? Are you tied up somewhere?” She's still joking but her tones grows more serious with mine.

“I think I'm falling for them.”

She laughs again but it sounds understanding. “Twins seem to have a way of making that happen.”

“I can't fall in love with twins! I mean, I know you did and you're making it work, but I'm not you. And they own a bar and lead a motorcycle club, Meg. We're from completely different worlds.”

She’s silent for a moment before asking, “Does that really matter?”

“Yes, it does. I mean, I think…” The argument is clear in my head but I can't verbalize it.

There's my parents and their certain disapproval, my whole extended family, really. There's work and school — I can't keep taking breaks from my responsibilities to have time for not one but two men.

And then there's their world. They may not fit into my world, but I surely don't fit into theirs.

Meg interrupts my jumbled thoughts. “What would the harm be in just letting things happen? Whatever will be, will be?”

I picture my pregnant friend sitting atop a mountain, legs crossed in lotus position, offering her Mother Earth wisdom to all who visit her. I giggle to release more tension.

“You make it sound so easy, Meg.”

“I say this with all kinds of love for you, Tara: Maybe you're making this harder than it needs to be.”

* * *

Over the next several weeks I do my best to stop worrying and just let things happen. I go on the ride to Lewiston with the Brimstone Friars, ignore Angel, and pretend to fit in. Apart from Angel, everyone seems friendly. I enjoy myself and don't think about my future or any expectations Deke and Jake may have.

Staying in the moment is a struggle at times, but it's well worth it when I'm in their arms, or even just in their presence. It feels right ... when I can keep myself from remembering all the reasons that it's impossible.

Thanksgiving comes, and it's a blow to the fantasy life I'm trying to live alongside my real life. The holiday is a formal affair in my family. With a dozen of us gathered around the table, everyone in dresses and ties, with dry conversation about whose niece is getting married and whose neighbor needs to trim their trees, I feel hopeless about the idea of ever bringing Jake and Deke here.

Much as I love my family, part of me wishes I were kicking back with the twins, watching an action flick, eating pizza and drinking beer. I always feel so alive when I’m with them, so connected to what’s important.

But family’s important, too. And I can’t just ditch mine.

After dinner, I help clean up in the kitchen before I escape to the bathroom with my cell phone. I wish I could text Megan and Zoe to see how their Thanksgivings are going — now that Zoe’s drama is over, Alex and Lucas have staked their claim, and things are getting serious there.

But I don’t want to intrude. There’s a little moment of self-pity — poor me, stuck with my uptight family while my besties enjoy their better-than-fantasy love lives.

And then my phone chimes.

Come outside.

It’s Jake. My heart starts to pound. I told the guys where my parents live, but I never imagined they’d come over. It’s as if they knew I wanted them.

I leave the bathroom and slip through the house as unobtrusively as possible.

“Where you going, hon?” my dad calls as I reach the front door.

“Just getting some fresh air.”

“Well, for heaven’s sake, put your coat on,” Mom says from the door of the kitchen. “It’s cold out there.”

I go and get my coat, because otherwise she’ll be coming out after me in thirty seconds or less. When I slip through the door, the crisp November air feels glorious after the stuffy warmth of my parents’ house.

Jake and Deke are there on their bikes, pulled up to the curb. I’m suddenly glad to have the coat on — it camouflages my dinner attire, so different from their jeans and leather and flannel. “Hey,” I say when I reach them.

Deke wastes no time. “You. Us. Pizza. Beer. Movies. What do you say?”

My smile is big enough to swallow the Grand Canyon. The brothers and their invitation are so perfect, so exactly what I need, that my heart swells with happiness. I open my mouth to reply — and out of nowhere, three little words nearly ambush me.

“I love ... that idea.” Good save, Tara. I can’t say those words out loud to them! They’ll think I mean them literally, and not in the sense of I really appreciate you.

I hurry on with my response before they can notice anything wrong. “I have to make my excuses here, and then go and change. I’ll text you when I’m on my way home so you can order?”

“Sounds good,” Jake says. Both of them are watching me like they’re the cats and I’m the cream — still, after all these weeks. “See you soon, sugar.”

I head toward the house, turning when I reach the front door. They’ve backed their bikes into the street, preparatory to taking off. With a wiggle of my fingers in their direction, I go inside, remembering at the last instant to wipe the silly grin off my face.

It freaks me out that I came so close to blowing it. I’ll have to be careful not to ruin our easy vibe.