Edgewood is one of my favorite restaurants. Wes and I come every time we visit Tahoe. The food is incredible, but what I love the most is the fire pit outside on the terrace and the view of the lake. Dinner isn’t any different from before. We usually have artichoke hearts as an appetizer. Wes orders the French onion soup—his favorite. I eat the bacon spinach salad. It’s not that I’m a salad girl, I’m actually a bacon girl. And the bacon they use is crispy and flavorful. Bacon is one of my weaknesses; my favorite food. Every dish in the world should include bacon. Life is better with a daily dose of bacon.

Over dinner, we talk about the weekend and how to include Sterling. Wes likes to pretend that Sterling annoys him, when in fact he enjoys having his brother close by. Since their father’s death, they’ve become closer. Last year, Sterling moved back to Colorado, and he’s trying to be a part of Wes’ life. Even when he seems like the selfish brat who doesn’t give a shit about life, he still adores and looks up to his older brother.

“Dessert?” Wes asks, pushing back a plate that contains nothing more than a lobster shell.

“Not for me,” I sigh looking at the delicious choices. “They need to add a gluten-free option. It’s not that hard.”

He reaches out his hand to me, entwining our fingers. “We could order ice cream if you want.” Wes kisses my knuckles. “There’re plenty of strawberries at home and chocolate. We could eat them on the terrace.”

“The terrace?” I stutter as my cheeks heat up.

My core tightens as I remember the kiss he gave me back there. Before today, his kisses had been gentle, soft, and patient.

Tonight though, after we watched the sunset, he took me into his arms and without a word, his lips were on me, his hands tangled in my hair, his tongue thrusting into my mouth. I sucked in a breath, and my body froze for a second because I was caught off guard by his roughness. But his scent and raspy moans reminded me that I was safe with him. The kiss was intense, desperate—even demanding and bossy.

I let him take me as he wanted. Actually, I matched his rhythm and greediness. It might have been the four daiquiris I drank, or the powerful kiss that made me feel bold, but either way, it quieted my mind to the point that I allowed myself to just enjoy it. An intense fire burned deep inside me. His hands went to my hips. He pressed my body against his. I felt weak; my legs nearly collapsed. Our mouths continued dancing with one another, the same way our bodies do when we’re at a party or a nightclub.

When he stopped, I whimpered at the loss, but I was thankful that he was able to stop. I’ve got no idea what would’ve happened had he continued.

He’s like eating a soft, warm, fresh-out-of-the-oven croissant. I want to spread butter and jelly on him and lick it. But I know that croissants contain gluten, and I’m allergic to them. Just like I know that my past experiences won’t allow me to be with him the way normal couples do. It already happened once, in college. I was at a frat party making out with a guy, and when his cold hand touched my stomach, I began to scream, and begged him to leave me alone.

That’s the only time I ever allowed anyone to touch me like that. My dates before Wes were just friendly meetings where I pretended to be interested, but I always ended up going home, grabbing my phone, and calling my best friend Wes instead.

“What are you thinking?” He places a strand of hair behind my ear. “You suddenly went quiet, but you look a little flushed.”

“You’re amazing,” I say, squeezing his hand. “I’m lucky to have you.”

“We’re lucky to have each other,” he offers, tracing his finger up and down my arm.

I shiver, and suddenly I want just a little more. Maybe a taste of what we can have because with him I feel incredibly safe. Safer than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. If we do this slowly, I might be able to conquer the power they’ve exercised over me all these years. With Wes, I might be able to take control of myself, my body, and my reactions to others.

“We can have dessert on the terrace,” I offer. “Why don’t we order Sterling’s chocolate cake and go home.”

He takes out a small box and hands it to me.

“You’re spoiling me, Wes,” I gasp when I unwrap a purple heart shaped pendant surrounded by a halo of diamonds. “It’s beautiful.”

“It’s to remind you that I’m always with you. A promise that I’ll never leave you.”

My heart grows inside my chest. He’s perfect. So perfect that I hope he can accept all of me, even the imperfect parts.

We’ve been on the terrace, sharing a platter of berries and a lounge chair. We’ve kissed more than once. If I could, I would frame this moment. This one long, languid embrace where time stands still. I wish it’d last forever.

As my eyes begin to close, I dare to ask, “Are you staying with me tonight?”

“What do you want, Abby?”

I snuggle closer to him. We’re sharing a lounge chair, and he’s the most comfortable pillow in the world. The sound of his heart beating soothes me, and his arms around me feel like the only protection I need for the rest of my life.

“You,” I answer, kissing his rough jaw.

“Are you sure?”

“It won’t be the first time we’ve shared a bed, Ahern.”

“You’re tempting me, Abigail.”

“Am I?” I say playfully.

My fingers skim across his bare arm. They want to touch him a little more. Can I take it without running away screaming for my life?

“How far can we go?”

I suck in my breath, going completely still at his question. The only sound I hear is my heart pumping hard.

He kisses the tip of my nose. “I wish I could read your mind.”

“I’m glad that’s not possible. You don’t want to know what’s inside. It’s both scary and sad.”

If it’s too scary for me to handle, I’m terrified that he’ll leave me after I tell him everything. I touch the pendant he gave me in hopes that what he said is true. He’ll always be with me and nothing can come between us.