14
BENJAMIN
The phone rang on my desk and I picked up the receiver without glancing at the digital caller-ID screen.
“This is Benjamin Johnson.”
“Benjamin!” a familiar voice gushed, and I immediately felt my shoulders clench up. I hadn’t heard that voice in years, but it immediately filled me with the same sense of dread that I felt the last time my sister Celeste called.
The circumstances have always varied, sometimes she would be calling from a holding cell at jail, other times she would be on the side of the road, calling because she just crashed her car, but she couldn’t call AAA because she was drunk.
I wasn’t sure what I hated worse, the years and years of those surprise phone calls, begging me to come to the rescue and clean up whatever mess Celeste had gotten herself into, or the years of silence that followed.
But now things were different. I had been waiting on this phone call. I had been counting the days, wondering when Celeste would finally show some semblance of remorse or regard for her daughter.
“Celeste,” I said finally, exhaling and forcing myself to stay calm. There were so many things I want to say to my sister. But I knew there was no point in getting them off of my chest now. I needed to figure out what the plan was. I needed to know where she was, how long she would be there, and what steps she was taking towards building a stable home for Harper.
“I’m sorry I haven’t called sooner,” Celeste said. Her voice sounded soft and shy. A far cry from the anger I had gotten used to in years past.
“Where are you?” I asked, ignoring the apology. That was another thing I’d gotten used to. Empty apologies. My sister was never sorry for the bad decisions that she made, and she was never sorry for the impact that her actions had on the people around her. If anything, she was sorry she got caught, sorry she had to spend a night in the drunk tank instead of downing shots at the club, sorry she had to look after a screaming infant instead of jetting off for a five-day bender in the Virgin Islands with her famous friends.
“I’m in the hospital,” she sniffled in a small voice. “Benjamin, I think I really fucked up this time.”
“You say that every time.”.
“God, I know.” Her voice cracked and I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.
“Harper is ok,” I said. That should have been the first thing she asked. How was her daughter? Was Harper ok? Was she safe? Was she happy? Was she asking any questions? Was she asking why her mother hadn’t come home yet? My bear roared in anger. She was ours to protect now, even from her own mother.
“I knew she would be,” Celeste said sadly. I wanted to slam down the phone, because I was disgusted with how selfish my sister was.
“No,” I said, “You assumed that she was ok. You assumed I would take care of things for you, just like I always do. Or if I didn’t Mom and Dad would step in. None of that is fair.”
“Benjamin…”
“Celeste,” I cut her off sternly. “This isn’t about you and me. If you want to let your life go up in smoke, that’s your prerogative. But you can’t take that sweet little girl down with you.”
“I know, I… I…”
“No,” I stopped her. “I don’t want to hear your excuses. I don’t. There’s nothing you can say that would justify the way you abandoned your daughter.”
“I’m trying to get better,” she sniffled. “I swear, Benjamin. That’s why I’m here. That’s why I checked myself into treatment, because I knew I couldn’t do this anymore. I haven’t Shifted in a year. A year, Benjamin. I felt like I was losing my mind. I didn’t even know if I could do it anymore. But I did. And I’m ok now.”
“Good,” I said, shaking my head. I’d heard this a dozen times before. I have heard the tears, the emotional appeals. I did not believe it anymore. Until my sister came home, sober and ready to behave like a decent person, I would not believe it. “I hope, for Harper’s sake, that you can get your life together.”
I was tempted to hang up the phone.
“Celeste, just to be clear, I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing this for Harper.”
Then I slammed down the phone and sunk back into my chair. My head was throbbing and I needed to get out of this office. I reached for my cell phone and I pulled the thread of text messages that I’d exchanged with Lia.
“Join Harper and I for dinner tonight?”
I hit ‘send,’ and then I second-guessed myself. This wasn’t exactly a sexy follow-up to our last date, but before I could think too much about it, her response showed onto the screen:
“As long as it’s our little secret :)”
I smiled, sliding my phone back into my pocket, and despite the phone call from Celeste, everything somehow felt brighter.