15
LIA
“God, look at you,” Polly rolled her eyes as she watched me grin into the screen of my phone. “You’re so smitten with this guy that literally it’s disgusting.”
“Shut up,” I said, even though her comment made my smile grow wider.
“I know that look,” Polly eyed me up and down knowingly. “You got the D.”
My entire face burned bright red and I slapped her arm, glancing around the schoolyard to make sure nobody overheard.
“You did!” Polly insisted. “Don’t deny it.”
“That’s none of your business,” I snapped. “And besides, I shouldn’t be talking about this at school anyway. Not after what Mr. Richmond said--”
“Ok, Mr. Strict-mond needs to loosen the hell up,” Polly said, rolling her eyes again. “And you, missy, need to give me all the dirty details.”
I sighed, then I flicked my eyes to her. I tried to keep a straight face, but my resolve immediately melted and I busted into a huge smile.
“Ok, ok,” I admitted. “We might have,” I nodded my head, filling in the blanks.
“Oh my God!” Polly squealed, grabbing my shoulders and pulling me in for a hug. This time, a few pairs of curious eyes looked our way, but Polly ignored them.
“Finally!” she gushed. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for this? Oh my God I feel like I should get you a cupcake or something. Do you want a cupcake? I want a cupcake.”
“Slow down,” I said, glancing around anxiously for any sign of Mr. Richmond. “Let’s not make a huge deal out of this.”
“It is a huge deal!” Polly clapped her hands together. Then, in a whisper, she added, “You’re a woman now! And with a sexy shifter, badass woman.”
I stabbed her in the ribs with my elbow, and she finally forced herself to take a deep breath and contain her enthusiasm.
“I need all the details, obviously.”
“No way,” I said. “That’s private.”
“Please,” Polly rolled her eyes. “It’s Benjamin Johnson. The man is about as private as a bus stop bench.”
“Eww,” I grimaced.
“It’s true! Homeboy is hot as hell, but he’s got a bad reputation,” she said, and then, assessing the concerned look on my face, she added “But you knew that. You’re being smart about this, because you’re Lia Lewis, and Lia Lewis doesn’t trust anyone.”
I blinked reluctantly and Polly’s eyes went wide.
“Lia,” she said. “Don’t tell me this is about more than just sex.”
“Of course not,” I sniffed quickly, shaking my head.
“Good,” she said firmly. “Because sex is all Benjamin Johnson is good for.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I asked. “Aren’t you usually nagging me to trust more? To give guys a chance? To stop being so cynical?”
“Well, yeah,” Polly shrugged. “But that doesn’t mean you should trust just anyone, and it definitely doesn’t mean you should trust someone like one of the famous Johnson boys.”
I swallowed heavily, trying not to take her words to heart. I knew she was right. I knew that Benjamin probably had a crazy tabloid persona that I wouldn’t understand, just like his sister Celeste did. But I also believed that I was seeing a different side of him. He told me the truth about his shifter, side. He was opening up, and there was no way the man who just texted to invite me to dinner with him and Harper could be the kind of womanizing monster that the newspaper headlines made him out to be. He may be more experienced than me, and maybe he had a wild past. But that did not have anything to do with who he was now.
“Just look out for yourself,” Polly shrugged. “That’s all I’m saying. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Then the worry on her face twisted back into a smile.
“And I definitely want to hear a full report on what went down in the bedroom!”
I blushed and rolled my eyes, but inside the curiosity was eating me alive. I had avoided the tabloids and gossip sites, knowing that I wouldn’t find anything good if I did look. But now I suddenly couldn’t resist. I needed to know.
“Shit,” I said, patting my pockets. “I forgot my keys in my room. I’ll be right back.”
“Sure,” Polly nodded.
It was a lie, but it bought me some time to slink down to my room and pull up the web browser on my phone. With shaking hands I typed in Benjamin’s name. The screen flashed white as the browser sluggishly struggled to load up, the cell service was hit or miss in my room, and I tapped my fingers on the desk, waiting.
I tried to prepare myself for the worst. What if he has a girlfriend? What if he’s seeing someone else? What if he’s been secretly married this entire time?
As I waited, anxiously tapping my feet on the tile floor, I tried to convince myself that I could handle anything I might uncover. After all, wasn’t this just about sex? Wasn’t I in control? Didn’t I already accept, implicitly, that whatever happened between Benjamin and me was just physical?
So if I was so certain that I don’t care, then why was my heart pounding so frantically in my chest? Why was my stomach twisting with dread as I imagined all the possibilities that might be revealed when the search engine finished loading?