Sergei said nothing to me on the ride to the cemetery. He and Timur looked at each other intently, as if they were privy to some kind of secret code.

“We will watch your father sprinkle dirt on his son, and then we go home. You’re a mess, and you smell like Matt Wilde.” He raised his nose in the air and breathed deeply. “I hope he wore a condom. I don’t want to raise his son.”

“Please give me some credit, which is more than I can give you or my father.” I pulled the skirt of my dress up my thigh to show the angry gash. “You both left me standing there in the hail of gunfire. It was Matt who protected me.” I turned and looked out the window. We had entered the cemetery and were winding around to the Petrenko plot of land. No one was buried there, not even my mother, but there was a large granite stone that had our name on it. Mikhail would be the first to rest beneath it. “How funny that I have to look to our enemy for protection because my family can’t manage to care.”

We stayed at the cemetery until the casket was lowered and buried, and we headed home. I played with the idea of pitting my father against Sergei. If they were fighting each other, they wouldn’t be paying much attention to me.

I turned and faced him. “I want to tell you something, but I feel I’m being disloyal to my father if I do.”

He turned and gave me his full attention. “Your loyalty lies with your husband.”

“But we aren’t married yet.”

“It’s a certainty, Katya. We don’t need love to have an understanding. And I don’t need to put a ring on your finger to demand your loyalty.”

Wrong. I screamed inside, but I held on to my calm facade because this was a game where I didn’t want to find myself on the losing team. “I’ve been snooping.”

His brows lifted. “My intended is a spy? Should I be worried?”

“Not as long as I’m spying for you.” I pushed my back against the door and continued. “It’s important for you to know about the health of the business.” I watched him for some reaction, but of course, there was none. “Let’s be honest, you didn’t come here to be my father’s second in command; you came here to rule. Don’t you want to know the value of your kingdom?”

One thing I knew for certain was, Sergei was a big man with a big ego, and the more I fed it, the better. “I’m not a great hacker, but I can get into my father’s accounts because he’s lazy and cheap when it comes to protection.”

“Get to the point. What do I need to know?”

“A large amount of money changed hands recently. I think it had something to do with the attack today. I’m not sure who the target was, but I’d guess it was you or me.”

His eyes grew big. “Your father would never be that stupid.”

“We are talking about my father. I’d say a hundred grand labeled as waste disposal is telling.”

“You keep spying, my love.”

“Whatever you need, my love.”

Each time I said those words, I wanted to barf, but they seemed to placate him. I needed time to figure this mess out. All I knew was that Matt couldn’t be the only one trying to extricate me from this disaster.

We pulled in front of the house, and Timur opened the door to let us out. They walked into the gardens no doubt to discuss the new information I’d given him while I walked inside.

I’d raised my foot to the first step when my father summoned me to his office. While the last person I wanted to see was him, I knew better than to ignore his call.

I kicked off my heels and walked down the hall to find my father sitting behind his desk. It was back to business.

“Sit down.”

I did as he told me. I had to pick and choose my battles, and this wasn’t one of them.

“What can I do for you, Father?”

He smiled and kicked back in his chair like he hadn’t just buried his only son moments before. “How are you?”

My mind drew a blank. Not once in the last two decades had he asked about me. “Given the circumstances, I’m doing well.” My fingers ran over the cut on my leg. Though sore, it would heal in a matter of days. “Did you try to have me killed today?”

He laughed. It had been a lifetime since I’d heard him really laugh. “Silly girl. If I’d tried to kill you, you’d be in the ground next to your mother. That hit was for someone else. Dumb assholes got the target wrong.”

“Who?” I sat forward. If the target was wrong, that meant the bullets weren’t destined for Sergei or me. “Who did you put a hit on?”

He poured himself a glass of vodka and sipped. He took his time, as if debating how honest he wanted to be.

“I believe in an eye for an eye.” He drank deeply and put the glass down. “The Wildes owe me a son.”

While I didn’t want to give my feelings for Matt away, I couldn’t help the gasp that left my mouth. “Matt didn’t kill Mikhail. What would he gain from that?”

In a calm that could only be considered clinically scary, he said, “I killed his father, he killed my son.”

“You said you believed in an eye for an eye.”

My father got up and paced behind his desk. “This is not even. I took an old, worthless man. He took my entire future.”

“Matt didn’t do that. Alex didn’t do it. None of the Wildes are responsible. They’re out of the business.”

A cackle-like laugh filled the air. “You are so damn dumb. Don’t you know? The only way to the leave the business is in a coffin.”

“You’re looking in the wrong direction.” I got up and looked out the door to make sure Sergei wasn’t within earshot. “There was no way Mikhail would hang himself. I’d bet my life the Bratva killed my brother.”

He walked to the safe hidden behind a picture of the Kremlin. “Your faith and loyalty are misplaced. You’re so much like your mother.” He dialed in the combination and pulled out a bright blue book. “She got confused, but I sent her out of this world with the truth. Let’s hope you’re smarter and you don’t find yourself in her situation. Don’t confuse a good lay with loyalty. One will give you a moment of bliss, the other a lifetime of privilege. Your mother chose poorly and paid the price.”

My mouth hung open. Had he just told me he killed my mother? “You killed her?”

“She got what she deserved. Her kind of betrayal could never be forgiven.”

I flew out of my chair and ran at him. “How could you kill the mother of your children?” I beat on his chest until he pushed me away. Standing several feet back, I watched a sinister smile lift his lips.

“You mean the mother of my son.” He looked at the book in his hand. “You were never mine.” He threw the book at me. The binding grazed my forehead. I reached up to feel the blood oozing from a cut.

“How could you?”

He chuckled. “It was easy enough, one push, and she was gone.”

My knees buckled beneath me, and the ground met my ass. “Why didn’t you kill us both?”

"A man never bets everything at once. You will marry Sergei and get my ass out of hot water. You’ll give him a son. He’ll try to kill us both and inherit what’s mine, but he won’t because I’m older and smarter, and I’m a hell of a lot more devious.”

I scrambled to my feet. It dawned on me that they were playing from the same deck. They both wanted the same thing from me. While my father could marry and have another son, it was easier to whore me out, get me pregnant and take my child. I was expendable.

No matter whose plan I fell under, one thing was certain. I had no longevity in either scenario.

I hugged the book to my chest. I recognized it as the journal my mom kept by her bed. I raced away from my father in hopes of discovering the truth.

There wasn’t a moment where I’d have guessed I wasn’t Yuri’s child. I’d been raised as his daughter, but tonight I locked my door and pressed a chair under the doorknob. I’d never felt completely safe in this household, but never had I ever felt in danger. I’d always felt like an outsider. Now I knew why.

Matt asked me to not lock him out, so I opened my computer and let him into my ugly world. If something happened to me, at least there was a chance he would see.

I changed into flannel pants and a T-shirt, then sat in the center of my bed and opened my mother’s journal. Why had Yuri kept it when he had destroyed everything else?

January 1st

My New Year’s Resolution—never tell the truth. I look at my sweet little girl and wish she could meet her father. I’d considered myself lucky that she looked like me, but now I’m not so sure. We’re trapped in this fortress, prisoners of a man who kills for pleasure. I’ve seen what he’s done with our son. I don’t want him to erase everything good in Katya with his evil.

I read through the next few weeks, where my mother talked about me and my brother and how terrible she felt that she’d need to leave Mikhail behind but he was already ruined. She couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t reach out to Yuri.

January 15th

My plan is set in motion. He’ll ruin her if I stay. I’ve managed to squirrel money away through shopping and returns. It doesn’t amount to much in our world, but a few thousand dollars will at least get us to another city. I’ve been thinking about new names. Something decidedly American will be best if we want to disappear. Katya will become Katherine, and I will become Anna instead of Anya. When I close my eyes, I see a better world for us. I hope someday Lucky can be a part of it. I love that man so much. For now, I can’t risk his life too. How was it I fell in love with a man as powerful as Yuri? I guess that’s my thing. Big, strong men with a soft side, except Yuri never had that softness.

I sat back and wondered who my father was. So far, all I had was the name Lucky. No doubt it was a nickname. A kid growing up with that name would have been beaten to a pulp each day because of it.

I swiped at the cut on my forehead and smeared what little blood oozed from it away, then dug back in to my mom’s journal. The entries were daily accounts of what was happening, from my A on a spelling test to me losing another tooth. I remembered putting that tooth under my pillow and waking up to find a dollar bill and a candy bar. I always thought it odd that the tooth fairy would give me money and something that would rot my teeth, but Mom said it was a guarantee she’d stay in business. That was the last time I got anything from the tooth fairy.

March 16th

My roses are budding. I spent the whole day pruning the branches. It aggravates Yuri that I put my hands in the soil and won’t touch him. I’d lost any desire to be a real wife after he forced himself on me two weeks after Mikhail was born. Since that day, I lived in the guest suite and locked my door. Not that a lock stopped him from entering. He took what he wanted with regularity. Hard to believe I endured him for so long. If it weren’t for Lucky, I would have never survived. That day in the spa changed my life forever. He’d sneak me out the back door and make love to me all day long and then sneak me back inside. Eventually, we had our own room, and we stayed there because it was safer. Yuri spent thousands on spa treatments, not even realizing he was footing the bill for my indiscretions, but I craved love, and Lucky gave it to me.

March 31st

He knows something. He’s upped my security detail, which means he realizes that my time away is about something other than the appointments I claim to have. I wish he was the type of man I could be honest with. I’d love to be able to tell him that Katya isn’t his child. That she’s the daughter of a man I’d fallen in love with years ago. If Yuri found out I’d been cheating on him, he would have killed both Katya and me. It was safer if Lucky didn’t know he was Katya’s father, so I never told him. I’ve kept that secret for almost eight years, but life with Yuri is worse than living in a prison. I don’t want this for myself or for Katya. She deserves to be happy. If I can save just a little more, I’ll take her and we’ll be gone.

I brushed the tears away. I was happy when you were alive. My mother spoiled me. Until her death, so did my father. It all makes sense. He found out the years he’d spent doting on me were wasted on another man’s offspring. I wondered if he knew who Lucky was?

April 21st

Hell, I live in hell, but at least I have a peek at heaven from my balcony. My roses are budding. I can’t wait for them to bloom. It’s all I have to look forward to.

The money I’d hidden is gone, which means I have no hope for escape. I don’t know if it’s the housekeeper or Yuri who took it. It’s not like I can ask, so I smile and pretend everything is okay.

May 12th

Yuri came into my room last night and took from me what I refused to give him. I told him I’d call the police, and he told me he owned the police. What was I thinking when I said yes to him all those years ago? The reality was that back then, I knew the word no wouldn’t be an acceptable answer.

Poor Katya has been knocking on my door all day, but I can’t let her see me like this. I want to protect her for as long as I can. She’s only a little girl.

May 28th

Katya and I had tea on the balcony. We made paper tiaras and held our pinkies high as we sipped Earl Grey and ate Irish soda bread drizzled with honey. It tickles me that she loves it so much.

She’s the sweetest little girl in the world, but that’s because her father’s blood runs through her veins. She’s so much like him in so many ways. Wicked sense of humor. Robust laugh. Eyes as blue as a summer sky. Had I made a mistake by staying with Yuri for Mikhail? As long as Yuri thinks Katya is his, she’s safe. I’m safe.

June 12th

Sixteen days until my baby turns eight. She wants a pretty princess party. I’ve ordered Tiaras and a Cinderella dress for her birthday. Invites will go out the week before to all her classmates. Today, when I asked her if she could have anyone be her prince who would she choose, and she named the middle Wilde boy. I told her to keep that to herself because Daddy wouldn’t be happy to know she’d chosen an Italian. The truth was, he hated Vince Wilde because he had what Yuri wanted. But I didn’t want Katya’s life to be filled with messages about hate and told her to choose wisely when she chose a prince. I wish I’d been more discerning.

June 21st

Yuri is like a caged animal today. He’s burst into my room three times, demanding to know the name of the man I’ve been sleeping with. How he knows, I can’t guess, but I’ll never tell him. I’ve got our bags packed, and once everyone goes to sleep, Katya and I will disappear.

I read through all six months again and memorized the details I knew for certain.

My father has blue eyes.

He is powerful but kind.

His nickname is Lucky.

He is enough for my mom to risk everything.

She died keeping his identity a secret.

I buried my face in my pillow and cried for over an hour. What thoughts were in my mother’s head when Yuri pushed her over the balcony? I knew without a doubt she was thinking of my real father and me.

“Katya, open the damn door.”

Yuri’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. He twisted the knob and pounded on the door.

“Leave me alone!” I screamed.

“Stay away from the Wildes. Do your job and marry Sergei, and you won’t meet the same fate as your mother.”

Certainly, he couldn’t keep me alive now that I knew the truth. I was next on his list, along with Matt. Yuri had been clear about killing him. I had to warn him.

I tucked the journal between my mattresses, slipped on a pair of sneakers, grabbed my purse, and left via my balcony. Lucky for me, I had a trellis where my mother’s favorite roses climbed toward the sky as if trying to reach her.

I made my way down the thorny branches. Scraped and bleeding, I slipped into the end stall and started my car.

I didn’t waste any time leaving the compound. In my rearview mirror, my prison faded until it completely disappeared. I had one objective, and that was to reach Matt. I only hoped he was sincere when he told me I belonged to him, because in ten minutes I’d land on his doorstep and he’d have to decide whether to let me and my problems inside.