Chapter 16
Kathryn
I didn’t know what made me think I would be able to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I felt Samantha’s hand across my face, heard her threaten to kill me. I felt Mason’s hand over my nose and mouth, his arm rough around my waist. When I turned on my side, I winced in pain, pressing the bruises against the pillow until I wanted to cry. I rolled over and couldn’t get comfortable, not used to sleeping on that side.
And when I opened my eyes, all I could think of was Zane.
He was hurt, too, and I hadn’t bothered to take that into account until Crystal had said something about it. She’d pointed out that he’d been a pawn in a game for a decade, and he didn’t know how else to handle things. Samantha had hurt him, and then I’d hurt him by pushing him away.
Tonight, he’d been so much more open and honest. But I kept thinking he hadn’t done it soon enough. I sighed and sat up, then flopped back down, irritated with myself for having a million questions, a hundred excuses, and absolutely no answers.
I gazed at my door and wondered if Zane had kept his clothes on to go to sleep or if he’d stripped to his boxers. Or if he was completely nude with those slim hips, strong legs, hard abs, other hard parts, and…
I decided that, maybe if I just went to check on him, I could get him out of my mind. So I quietly opened my door, glancing at the clock to find it was nearly three in the morning, and winced. I assumed he would be sleeping at this time. After all, I didn’t even have a good reason for being awake myself.
I tiptoed into the room, but the floorboards squeaked, and he lifted his head. I frowned. “I’m sorry I woke you.”
“You didn’t,” he said in a low, sexy tone.
Taking a deep breath, I moved closer to the couch and asked, “How are you? Other than awake at an ungodly hour.”
He shrugged. “I’m doing all right, under the circumstances. I finally get to live my life the way I wanted all along, for the most part.” His contented expression fell away, replaced by a concerned frown. “I’m more worried about you. How are you holding up?”
I wasn’t sure what he was referring to – the events of the day or the physical injury on my face. I decided to address both. “My face is sore, but it’s not aching anymore. And it might take a while to get past…what happened. But I’m okay. Under the circumstances.” I winked, and he chuckled softly. The gentle sound was intoxicating, and I couldn’t help it. I wanted to be closer to him.
So I walked over and sat beside him. “You know, I was just going to grab a glass of water and check on you to make sure you were sleeping okay out here. I didn’t expect you to be awake. Is the couch not comfortable enough for you?”
“No, it’s really comfortable with all the blankets and pillows.” But he cast his eyes downward. “I’m just thinking about everything and what I have to do now.”
I gave him a curious look, and he smiled ruefully.
“I talked to my lawyer earlier,” he explained. “Sam will get the divorce papers in the morning. It’s going to piss her off, but she doesn’t have a choice. She’ll be afraid I’ll turn her in for illegal trading. She’ll have to accept that it’s only out of my generosity and the kindness of my heart that I’m even offering her half of whatever the house sells for. She has no rights to my club, my bar, or any of the money I’ve put away.”
I all but gaped at him. He had planned ahead to leave her, and I’d cast so much doubt. I had believed he was sticking it out, due to greed or pride or whatever reason. Even fear. But he had been honest about working on clearing up the issue.
And what was more, while he’d stockpiled some assets, he was giving up everything he’d had for ten years, to find his freedom and lead an honest life.
For me?
I couldn’t fathom that, and I realized that, maybe, I hadn’t given him the credit he deserved. I didn’t want to consider that I had brought him to this point – no home, no money. Well, not no money, but compared to what Samantha had access to when they were playing House, it was probably pennies. And yet, he looked happy, relieved.
Still, there was a sadness to his eyes, and I wanted to take it away. I met his gaze, in awe of what the man was willing to do to correct his mistakes. I had a lot of reservations about diving into a future with Zane, after all the lies and fear and pain. But my concerns were based on self-preservation, and it seemed like, with what I heard now, I didn’t have to worry anymore. He’d opened up to me earlier, and he’d done it again just now.
I felt drawn to him, more than ever, and I leaned closer. “You’ve had a really rough time, haven’t you? I mean, not just lately. This has been going on for a long time.”
He shrugged. “I guess it’s karma. I made a bad decision, had no patience to earn the money I needed honestly, and I paid for it.” He sighed and shook his head. “The funny thing is, I don’t feel like I lost that much. I’m financially stable, still have my businesses that are both in good shape and profitable, and I’ve even broken out of the prison I’ve been in for ten years. I’m a free man.” But he gave me an anguished look. “The only thing that’s missing is you.”
I swallowed hard, emotion welling up inside. I could see it in Zane’s eyes – this was obviously a man who loved me. And I knew I loved him more than I’d allowed myself to believe. I couldn’t hold back anymore, the need for him so strong and urgent I didn’t know what else to do. I leaned in further, putting a hand to his cheek to turn him toward me, and I pressed my lips to his.
I had missed his taste, the scent of mint chocolate on his breath. I moaned with pleasure. It started out chaste, questioning, and from Zane’s angle, full of surprise. But I coaxed his mouth open, and I snaked my tongue between his lips. He inhaled sharply, and the kiss became an exploration, as if our tongues were new lovers, learning each other slowly and carefully.
But flames surged inside me, and I felt like I was going to explode. I fed that fire into the kiss, and he met me again with his own need. It pulled me in deeper, and I let my hand slide from his cheek around the back of his neck, locking him into it so he couldn’t pull back. I didn’t want to break the connection for any reason, not for questions, not for reassurance, not to take a breath. I drew my sustenance from Zane, from his strength, his will to survive and come out on top, and his incredible passion.
But it wasn’t enough. His arms were still tight at his sides, like he was afraid to touch me, and I wanted to feel his hands on me, anywhere and everywhere. I pushed into him, so I was almost in his lap.
He wrapped his arms around me, cupped my ass, and pulled me the rest of the way into his lap, and then his fingers were kneading my back under my pajama top. The searing warmth of his skin to mine made me whimper, and I realized we were in the living room, not the bedroom. Crystal wasn’t exactly a heavy sleeper, and I was coming to the point that I couldn’t control the noises I was going to make.
I started to pull back from the kiss to tell him we needed to move, but he fisted his hands in the back of my hair, holding me in place, his other hand still curled under me. Expertly, he stood, and I wrapped my legs around his waist, helping him carry me as he stumbled toward my bedroom.
I had one arm around his neck, and I used the other hand to shove the door closed behind us. He fell on me as he laid me back, and I finally had to break away, gasping for air. Zane gulped in breaths, and I took the opportunity to pull my shirt over my head. His eyes lit with fire, and he dove in, taking one nipple between his lips, rolling his tongue over and around it. I gasped, my back arching, at the lightning bolt that shot straight to my core.
My center turned to liquid instantly, and I pushed my hips forward, grinding against his hardness that thrust forward inside his pants. I wanted to free it, but when I reached, Zane pinned my wrists over my head with one strong hand. His lips found mine again, his free hand massaging my breasts. I writhed, the stimulation coming from all angles and overwhelming me.
I wantonly wrapped a leg around his back and pulled his hips toward me as I lifted again to meet him, and he groaned into my mouth, making my blood boil. I fought free of his hold, and I reached to yank his shirt over his head, desperate to draw my fingertips over the hard muscles of his chest and abs. I didn’t think I could ever get used to his beauty, the perfection of his sculpted body, and I wanted to marvel at it tonight, and again tomorrow. In fact, I wanted it to be my permanent view.
He came down on me with furious desire, and his hands slipped my pajama pants over my hips, along with my panties. I used my feet to slide them down as I worked at the fly of his jeans. My fingers fumbled with my impatience, but I managed to free his member, which stood tall and hard against his stomach. I grasped it, making Zane hiss as he sucked in a breath through his teeth.
I was bared to him, but I was so lost in the moment I didn’t see his hand between us, didn’t notice his movement until I felt his fingers stroke my folds. I cried out, the slick moisture making them glide in the most arousing way, and he pressed his thumb against my bundle of nerves, rolling gently until I panted and couldn’t catch my breath.
The first wave of pleasure crashed over me without warning, and I cried out with surprise at the force of it. I must have needed Zane more desperately than I knew, the shuddering ecstasy taking control and lasting for what seemed like hours. When it finally subsided, I moaned, the shockwaves still making me buck against his hand as he worked me over, launching me into yet another crazed orgasm.
My vision blurred, and I clutched at Zane’s shoulders with fingers and nails, trying to pull him down to me. I needed to taste him again, and I wanted him as bare as I was.
But he kept toying with me as he lifted his hips to work his jeans and boxers down his legs. As I fought to recover some sense, I tried to help, and when he finally kicked his pants from his ankles, I yanked him down, feeling his body pressed to mine from head to toe as I drew him in for a kiss, licking his teeth and nibbling at his lips.
He used a knee to spread my legs and settled between them, the weight of his erection pressing against my wet center. I rolled my eyes up and tilted my head back with a long, soft moan, the resulting pleasure that coursed through my veins almost unbearable. I drew my hands down his back, over the swell of his ass, and back up with fingernails scraping along his skin.
With calculated motions, Zane stroked against my folds and I gasped over and over, the edges of my vision going black as I nearly passed out from the glorious sensation. I shoved my hips up, begging him to fill me. I needed him inside, and I didn’t know how much longer I could wait. I begged silently, using my legs to pull him in, but he teased and taunted as his lips seared the skin along my neck, behind my ear, and down over my chest. He licked a line in the valley between the peaks of my breasts, and I whimpered.
His mouth found mine in a hot, seductive kiss, and as his tongue thrust against mine, he surged into me, deep and hard. I came with a cry of delight, my inner walls convulsing around his girth, pulsing and sending electricity through the rest of my body. I grasped at anything I could reach – sheets, pillows, Zane’s hair and arms – to try to ground myself as I felt like I was floating away.
But the onslaught didn’t stop as he stroked out and in again. I found his rhythm and moved my hips with him, meeting every thrust with my fervor matching his. We built the tension, increased the pace, and the friction of his strokes inside me had the eruption boiling to the surface as he grew with his arousal. I felt him ready and holding back, but I was ready, and I rolled my hips up to take him deeper. I crashed over the edge, a mind-blowing explosion pushing me over the cliff and into the depths of ecstasy.
As I convulsed from head to toe, my core throbbing with the intensity, he couldn’t hold on, and he shuddered as he spilled into me, his teeth clenched and his eyes squeezed shut. My orgasm dipped and surged again, and it was almost painful, just at that perfect measure of erotic sensation that created an unimaginable rush.
His arms shook with his effort to hold himself up, but I wanted to feel him against me, have his weight rest on top of me, so I gently urged him, and he let his body collapse on mine. The sheen of sweat between us, combined with the scent of sex in the air, had me in a heady place, deep in the afterglow, and I ran lazy lines with my fingers over his ribs and back and arms. It raised goosebumps on his flesh, and I smiled to myself.
This was what life was all about, and I was never going to let go of this man. He loved me like no one else could, worshiped me in the bedroom and made me feel things I hadn’t known were possible. And he was willing to give up everything he’d had, just to be with me. What more could a woman ask for?
His soft, even breathing tickled my neck, giving me goosebumps, too. I realized that I didn’t want the perfect, traditional life I’d convinced myself would be sensible when I’d started dating Christian, not even with Zane. I wanted excitement and wonder and something special. Sure, a family and a nice house would be great, but it wasn’t enough for me.
I liked the hints of mystery, of not always knowing exactly what the day – or the night – would hold for me. I loved that Zane had a spontaneous side to him, and we could change our mind about where we were going or what we were doing at any time. I liked that he was romantic, and I reveled in the idea of spending the occasional night at the club or bar with him, taking in the atmosphere and watching him work his magic on the crowd. Especially knowing that I was the one he’d be coming home to.
After a while, he slid to the side and snuggled in against me, burying his face in my neck and throwing one arm and leg over me. I smiled again, feeling languid.
I was ready to drift off, and I let my eyes shut, breathing deeply of Zane’s delicious natural musk, coupled with the citrus and spice cologne he wore. It was hypnotizing, especially with his body curled around me like a little boy holding his teddy bear protectively. I sighed and settled my head deeper into my pillow, and he stirred slightly.
Tilting his head so his lips were right against my ear, he breathed, “I love you, Kathryn.”
I laughed so softly it was more a rumble in my chest than a sound. I rolled my head so I could press my lips to his forehead.
“I love you, too, Zane,” I whispered. Content and exhausted, I fell into a deep, restful sleep.