Chapter 4
“Just a kiss,” Devon said.
Violet gazed up into his eyes and he pulled back just slightly to look down at her. “A kiss.” Her body trembled at the thought. This was dangerous. She’d been fighting her reaction to him all evening. She couldn’t allow herself to fall for him all over again – couldn’t. It had been too hard to say goodbye the first time. She didn’t know if she had the strength in her to do it again.
“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea…” Her hands tightened on the platform behind her, to the point her fingers began to hurt. But his body was so warm, in contrast to the cool water. And he was looking down at her with such hunger and if she wasn’t mistaken, affection, in his eyes. It was all becoming too much, her reason was losing the battle with her body and emotions. It was as if her body remembered his and was drawn to him.
A cocky grin spread across his lips as he leaned into her, his lips brushing her earlobe. “A bet’s a bet, V. Favours are non-negotiable.”
He had a point, they were non-negotiable. They’d made a deal over a decade ago. How could she deny that reasoning? It was the only honorable thing to do. She was also all too aware of the status of his erection, pressing tight to her. It was teasing, reminding her of their times together, of the pleasure he could offer her if only she’d ask for it.
“So, Miss Phillips.” His lips moved across her jawline, sending a shiver of need through her. “Are you going to deny me my win?”
She opened her mouth to speak, though she wasn’t even sure what she planned to say, when his lips came crashing down onto hers, tasting of wine and berries. She melted, every ounce of resolve she had in her shattered and she was his. It was as if the past seven years hadn’t happened and they’d never parted.
Releasing the platform, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself flush against his hard heat, their bodies forming together beautifully, like they always had.
One kiss, that’s all. No big deal…
But damn, had his lips been this soft before? She parted her lips as she moaned softly against his mouth. He took opportunity to thrust his tongue between her parted lips; the feel of their tongues as they touched sent a rush of pleasure and yearning through her so intense the fire between her legs ignited. Suddenly, she couldn’t get close enough to him. Her fingers caressed the muscle of his shoulders and the muscle flexed under her fingertips.
She knew she needed to stop this, but he felt so good, so familiar. After having her heart and pride get stomped on by Logan, being in Devon’s arms felt so, so good – and right. This was Devon, he’d never hurt her, he’d never deceive her. Devon had always been there for her and she’d blown it, hurting them both in the process.
And I’m going to end up doing it again… The thought was like dumping a bucket of ice water over her head. She pulled away, ducking under his arm and swimming away from him as quickly as she could. Her mother was right, it was a bad, bad idea by a silly girl who’d wished for something she knew she couldn’t have.
~*~*~*~
“Please just take me to my mother’s place, Devon.”
“No.” He pulled out of the deserted, dirt road and onto the main road. “I know what you’re doing.”
Violet huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and refusing to look at him; instead she stared out of the front windshield. “I don’t have the energy for this. Please, just take me home.”
“No.”
She shot him a glare. “What? You planning on kidnapping me?”
“If that’s what it takes, yes.”
“Please, this isn’t going to work out.”
He glanced from the road to her. “I’m not asking you to marry me, V. I’m asking to spend some time together. Hang out, have fun. Talk.”
“And what’s that going to accomplish? Ultimately I’m going back to New York and you’re staying here. The only thing that is going to come out of us spending time together is either one of us or both getting hurt.”
Devon diverted his attention back to the road. “We’re not naïve teenagers anymore, V. I would hope we both realize this isn’t a restart of what we had. We were kids back then. We’re adults now. I just thought we could spend some time together, have some fun. I hope I didn’t give the wrong –”
Oh my god! She was thankful for the darkness of the cab, because she could feel the color drain from her face. It was apparent she’d jumped to some sort of vain conclusion. Was she so high on herself that she’d assume he’d fall head over heels for her after one day or even consider being with her again after the way they’d broken up? He just wanted to play around, have a little fun with her. In typical Violet Phillips fashion she’d jumped to conclusions. But the realization hurt.
She felt stupid, like a teenager with a crush. Just gotta harden myself. Of course he wasn’t expecting anything but a good time. She took a deep breath in and slowly released it. “No, of course not. I just –” Babbling. I’m babbling. Could I possibly make an even bigger ass of myself?
Feeling his eyes on her, she forced herself to meet his gaze and shrugged. “So where are we going?”
A grin formed on his lips. It was like he could read her mind and was amused by her distress. “I was thinking you might want to check out my place…”
No, don’t do it! a voice in the back of her head warned. Her emotions had been in turmoil since their kiss at the platform. His house could lead to more intimate time together, which could lead to sex, which could lead to falling for him all over again, which could lead to going back to New York even more fucked up than she was now.
But if I don’t go then he’ll know his effect on me. He’ll think I’m some insecure, silly girl who falls in love over a single kiss. Don’t overthink this Violet, she told herself. Don’t overthink it.
“You know, you’re right. I’d like to check it out.”
“Only if you want to.” There was a challenge in his stare as if he could read her mind and it was greatly amusing to him.
She gave him a dubious look, doing her best to sound flippant. “I didn’t think I had a choice.”
*~*~*~*
She’d attempted to be dismissive, but he could see she was struggling being with him. The kiss had shaken her up, hell the kiss had shaken him up as well, but he was just better equipped to hide it from her, masking the mix of emotions rushing through him with sarcasm and teasing.
“We’re here.” A part of him felt he was being an asshole for doing this to her, presenting her with the home they talked and dreamed about, but he reasoned that if she’d left him all those years ago for the reasons she’d stated then it wouldn’t matter.
She sat forward in the seat and her eyes grew wide as she took in the two-storey farmhouse. They’d spent hours of their youth discussing the house they’d want when they got on and it was identical to their musings, right down to the white picket fence bordering the expansive front lawn, the stables to their left housing two horses and the little Martha Stewart-style chicken coop in the back.
Would she think it pathetic that he still kept those dreams? Would she think he hadn’t moved on? Though in truth, a part of him never did. It may have been easy for her to move on, but for him – not so much. She’d been the one and only woman he’d ever loved or wanted to marry. His first and only love, it wasn’t something he was willing to forget even if he could. As pathetic as it was she was the standard to whom every woman he dated was compared – and none ever lived up to his memories of Violet Phillips.
But those were memories…
“Come on, it’s dark, but I’ll show you around as best I can.” Getting out, he didn’t make it to the front of the truck before her door was open and she was hopping out.
“So you said it’s a little hobby farm?”
“Yeah.”
Grabbing a flashlight that was hanging on the corner of the porch he took her hand and began leading her towards the stables. “I’ll show you the horses first, they’re in for the night, but…”
They approached the barn and entered. He flicked a couple of switches just inside the stable doors and the fluorescent overhead lights flickered on. Their entry caused the horses to stir, snorting and bucking against their stalls. She didn’t hesitate, but scurried past him and into the barn, heading towards the brown American quarter horse mare.
Devon watched as she spent time caressing and cooing over each of the two horses. A part of him had feared she’d grown prissy, not being around the farm life for years, but that seemed to be hardly the case. “What else do you have?”
“I have some chickens.”
She turned and eyed him. “Silkies?”
He shrugged. Aside from being cute pets, silkies were pretty much pointless in a farm environment – they turned broody often and their eggs were tiny. “After all the fuss you used to make over them, how could I have chickens without having some?”
“Show me!”
“They’re asleep… The roosters…”
Grabbing his hand she pulled him from the barn, and as if she knew where she was going headed towards the coop. “So they’ll crow a little bit, big deal.”
With a sigh, he gave in to her. Every moment he spent in her presence the more she seemed to morph into the girl he used to know. And with each second it made him want her more. Maybe she’d been right and this was a bad idea.
She didn’t wait for his approval, she unlatched the coop door and pulled it open. The interruption caused the chickens to stir and as expected the four roosters perked up and the crowing began. Violet immediately went to the groggy white silkie hen and picked it up, hugging it tight to her chest. “She’s so cute. God, I wish I could have these in New York.” She began stroking its satiny feathers as it snuggled tight to her, closing its eyes. “This is the stuff I really miss, you know.”
“Yeah, but don’t you guys have rats?”
She laughed. “Yeah, forgot about those. And the cockroaches.”
“Sounds like a dream.”
“It has its moments.” Looking down at the chicken, she placed a little kiss on its head and then set it back down onto the ground. “So, how about you show me the house?”
~*~*~*~
It was everything she’d dreamed of for them. It was like he’d gone forward without her. Which, of course, is what he did. Why wouldn’t he? She felt stupid even thinking that he’d give up what he wanted just because she’d changed her mind. But she hadn’t changed her mind, she’d been forced to make an impossible decision.
“What’s wrong?” Devon asked as he passed her a glass of white wine and then sat down next to her on the sofa, placing the open bottle on the wooden table in front of them.
“Just thinking.”
“About?”
“I guess it’s the house. Your life. It’s what I’d dreamed – what we’d dreamed of.”
“You expected me to just give up what I planned, just because you decided you didn’t want it or me anymore?”
It felt like he’d just twisted the knife already in her heart. “You don’t understand.” She looked down at the glass of white wine in her hands, fumbling with its stem.
“No, you’re right. I don’t understand now and I didn’t understand then either. You gave me some bullshit excuse about needing to experience life beyond this stupid little town – your exact words I might add – and meet new people and date some college jack-offs. You didn’t think about the life we’d planned then, you only thought about Violet.”
His jaw clenched and anger flashed in his grey eyes. She cringed. “I deserved that.”
Downing the glass of wine he refilled the glass and sighed, the hardness in his expression softening. “I didn’t –”
“Yeah, you did. It’s all right. And, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, just tell me the truth, V. I know what you told me all those years ago was bullshit. I think I deserve the truth. I’ve waited long enough for it.”