Chapter 5
“Does it really matter anymore Devon?” It wouldn’t change a thing. Why hash up the past, but unfortunately the entire night was filled with the past.
“It matters because I’ve lived knowing the woman I was going to propose to, the woman I expected to spend the rest of my life with ruined it all for some unknown reason. It matters because my world was crushed and it was all a lie, I deserve to know the truth.”
“I didn’t have a choice, Devon.”
“I don’t understand, of course you had a choice, you chose to leave.”
“No.” Tears filled her eyes. “No, I didn’t. My father was sick, remember. He’d been diagnosed with lung cancer and it wasn’t good.”
“I got along with your father. Hell, he called me son. Why would that have anything to do with us?”
She looked back up into his confused grey eyes and sighed. This was almost as hard as ending it in the first place. “I know. But…” Telling him the truth was going to cause a ripple effect far greater than he expected. She didn’t want to open Pandora’s box, but on the other hand, was it fair she continue to carry the burden? Wasn’t it time the guilty parties be held accountable for their part in their break-up?
“Just tell me, V. Jesus, did you get knocked up by someone? Did I imagine how we felt about each other?”
“No, no. None of that. It was real.”
“Then tell me.”
She took a deep breath in and slowly released it. Fuck it! It was about time the people responsible be held accountable, she’d held the weight on her shoulders for long enough. She no longer had anything to lose.
“Your mother was blackmailing me.”
Devon frowned, opened his mouth, seemed to be about to say something and then snapped it shut again. The room fell quiet; in the background she could faintly hear one of the roosters crowing.
“Come again?”
“My mother was having an affair with your father.”
His frown deepened and he drank down the content of his glass, quickly refilling it. “Wait, so. Why?” He gave his head a little shake. “I mean, why would that have anything to do with us?”
“Just after the prom your mother called me and asked me to have lunch with her. I knew she disliked me, we both know that, and I was hoping she wanted to call a truce, but that wasn’t it. She told me about the affair and told me if I didn’t break up with you and leave she’d tell my dying father about the affair.” A single tear slid down her cheek. She cursed herself for being so weak, but it had been such a trying week. “I didn’t want to do it, but I couldn’t…” A sob took hold of her. “My father would have been crushed.”
“Dammit V, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it was part of the deal. I go to school, she’d even pay for it, but I couldn’t come back. I had to make you think I didn’t want this life or you, or she’d tell Dad. It would have killed him, Devon. Between the chemo and radiation, he was becoming so physically weak, he didn’t need that too. He didn’t need my mother’s infidelity weighing on his mind in his final days.”
“Well, why wouldn’t you tell me after he passed?”
“I was going to, but my mother told me that you’d found someone and you were happy. So I just… I figured you’d moved on and I didn’t… I figured I didn’t deserve you anyhow.” She shrugged. “And I was scared you’d reject me and I’d have to heal all over again. It wasn’t a decision I took lightly.”
“Shit.” He thrust a hand into his hair and placed his wine glass on the coffee table. “I can’t believe her. Can’t fucking believe it.” Standing, he began to pace back and forth across the living room. “I can believe it. But at the same time… It’s so hard to grasp. A million explanations went through my head over the years, but that was never one of them.”
She didn’t know what to do or say, so she said nothing, only watched him pace back and forth. However, it felt like a ton of bricks had been lifted from her shoulders. It had nagged at the back of her mind for seven years. Yes, her mother and his father were at fault, but she and Devon had been the ones who paid the price.
“She hated me Devon, we both know that. Every time you were in trouble, I was standing beside you. She wanted me gone, she found a way to break us up and she used it.”
He stopped pacing, and spun to face her, anger flashing in his eyes. “It was none of her fucking business.”
She cringed. She felt so stupid, she’d fallen for it, hook line and sinker. She’d allowed herself to be bullied out of the happy life they’d been building together.
“You should have come to me.”
“Why, Devon? Why? So you could confront her and she’d tell my father everything?”
“We were the kids, it wasn’t our business who was fucking whom. For all you know your father knew about it and chose to ignore it. Did you ever confront your mother?”
“No. I was told to keep it to myself. It was between her and me. If I were to say anything to anyone then she’d let my father and everyone in town know.”
“You should have come to me. You should have called her bluff. For all you know it’s a heap of lies.”
“I was 18 and stupid and knew I had a limited amount of time left with my father. What do you want me to say that I haven’t already said, Devon? I’m sorry.” She stood. Anger was beginning to boil up within her. She wasn’t the villain here, she’d done what she felt was right at the time and she’d be damned if she was going to let him scold her like a naughty child. Maybe she should have discussed it with her mother after her father died, but she just didn’t want to rehash it all. In her eyes the damage had been done.
“You made the decision for both of us, V!”
“I sacrificed for what I thought was right.” Walking over to him she poked him in the chest. “I left the life I planned on sharing with you because I didn’t think I had a choice, you think that was easy for me? Did you think it was easy for me when my mother told me you were with someone and happy, without me? That you’d moved on? I promise you, it wasn’t. I hurt every time I thought of you with someone else. I hurt every time I allowed myself to think of what could have been.”
I need to get out of here… She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes again. It had already been a stressful week, she didn’t need this additional pain. Not over something that was ancient history. She stormed past him and into the kitchen, heading for the front door.
“Violet!”
She heard him call behind her, but it only caused her to increase her pace. Grasping the door handle she turned it and began to open the door, to have it slammed closed again.
“Hell no. You’re not going anywhere. No fucking way.”
She spun to face him. “I want to leave.”
“You’re not going anywhere until we sort this out once and for all, you owe me that much.” The emotions in his eyes and expression – the hurt, the anger – it was like another slam to the stomach leaving her breathless, and brought back the memories of the day she’d broken up with him. They were 18 again and they were reliving one of the worst days of her life.
“Your wicked fucking mother owes you that, not me. I may have been young and stupid back then, but she took advantage.”
~*~*~*~
Devon forced himself to calm down. It really wasn’t her fault. She was right, she’d been young and his mother was a very intimidating and persuasive woman who always got her way. He didn’t doubt his mother had spun things to the point where Violet felt she had no other choice. But dammit, it hurt that she hadn’t gone to him and told him. She’d made the decision for both of them.
Taking a deep breath in, he forced the air through clenched teeth. “I’m sorry. I reacted without thinking. I’ve spent seven years waiting for the truth and to find out it was my mother who was behind it, I just don’t know what to think or feel right now.”
“I’m not lying, Devon.”
“I know you’re not. That’s not…” He closed his eyes and attempted to make some sort of order to his thoughts. “She found the ring.”
Tears trickled from her eyes and down her cheeks; seeing the tears was like a fist squeezing his heart. The instinct to grab her and hold her tight like he used to do was next to impossible to ignore. “What are you talking about?”
“I think that’s why she interfered. She found the ring I was going to propose with prom night. She convinced me to wait until after prom. She had me convinced that I shouldn’t mix the two, that a proposal needed to be special on its own. Fuck, I was an idiot.”
“She took advantage of us both.” She sniffed, swiping at the tears with the back of her hand as if disgusted with herself for showing emotion. She motioned to her face, where a couple of streaks of mascara had been left in the wake of the tears. “It’s been a trying few days. It’s just overwhelming right now.”
He stopped denying himself. It was pointless. Releasing his grasp on the door, he pulled her into his arms. She slid her arms around his back and held tight, fisting the back of his shirt. She fit so damned well against him, the top of her head settling under his chin. She was meant for him, perfect for him in every way. And she’d been stolen away.
“Stay here tonight, V. We can hang out, like old times. Maybe watch some stupidly awful horror movie, make some popcorn. Catch up. I want to get to know you again.”
“I’m not sure…” She started to pull back, but his grasp on her remained ironclad.
“You’re not escaping from me that easily again, V. It wasn’t a request.”
He allowed her to pull back enough to look up at him, her brow creasing. “What is this?”
“I don’t know. Spend the night with me, find out.”
~*~*~*~
She twirled, modelling the oversized navy t-shirt with POLICE written across the front of it in bold white lettering. “So, does it suit me?” She watched Devon finish dumping the popcorn into a bowl, turn to face her and freeze. His eyes slowly worked their way up the length of her body from her bare feet, all the way up, pausing at her breasts before meeting her stare. The blatant scrutiny caused a blush to colour her cheeks as she shifted nervously from one foot to the other.
Taking a deep breath in, he slowly released it and nodded. “It does.” He stared into her eyes another moment before clearing his throat and nodding towards the fridge. “How about you grab some soda and find us a movie, and I’ll take this into the living room.”
He appeared a little uneasy and she didn’t miss the look of desire that had flashed in his eyes as he’d looked at her. They’d spent the evening chatting and getting reacquainted in a friendly manner, although the entire time they chatted there’d been an undeniable sexual connection flowing between them. It was as if her body remembered his and longed to feel all of what he could offer. And dammit if it wasn’t becoming nearly impossible to deny.
She made her way into the living room, placed the soda onto the coffee table and flopped down onto the sofa. Grabbing the remote she began flipping the channels until she came to the horror movie channel. They were both huge horror movie buffs.
“Okay, I have dill pickle and BBQ seasoning for the popcorn,” he stated, coming into the living room and setting the popcorn and seasonings onto the coffee table next to the sodas.
“Are you still scared of clowns?” she asked, realizing the mini-series It was playing and leaving the channel there.
“I’m not scared of clowns. They’re creepy. I just feel they…”
Her eyebrows lifted as she waited.
He sighed, throwing his hands up in defeat. “Okay, yes, I’m still scared of clowns. Happy now?” Glancing over at the television he rolled his eyes. “It, really?”
She nodded, enjoying how unsettled he’d become at the prospect of watching It. Grabbing a pillow, she laid it on his lap and stretched out on the sofa, with her head on his lap. It was a position she’d regularly taken when they were young watching movies. She hadn’t even realized what she’d done until she was already settled on him.