Ruby
I was getting bold.
But I was desperate.
I held my breath until Jett’s mouth came down on mine, sending a spark to every cell in my body.
Jett didn’t just kiss me. He owned everything he touched. I sank into his warmth, and opened to him because I wanted everything he was willing to give me.
He devoured me like a man who had been hungry for way too long, and I felt the same urgency as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
I needed him to give me something because my body was urging me to seek more.
Heat flowed between my thighs, and something inside me clenched, begging for something elusive I didn’t understand.
“Jett,” I gasped as he released my mouth and started nipping and licking at the sensitive skin of my neck.
I fell back on the couch as he moved next to me and over me with a powerful presence that made me even more desperate for him to make the painful need I was experiencing go away.
“I need…” I whimpered, my voice trailing off because I didn’t know exactly what I had to have.
“I know what you need, sweetheart,” he said in a husky voice beside my ear.
I shivered as his hand moved under my dress and up my thigh, making my skin burn with heat everywhere he touched.
I almost jumped out of my skin as his fingers moved my panties aside and met my wet sex.
“Look at me, Ruby,” he demanded.
Not realizing I’d closed my eyes, I opened them and immediately met his steely gaze.
“Don’t look away. I want you to remember who you’re with and not the past.”
Every touch, every word he spoke was so intense that I didn’t think my mind was going anywhere else. It couldn’t. I was mesmerized by Jett.
“Show me what I need,” I pleaded.
“This,” he rasped.
I moaned as I felt his strong fingers stroke over my clit.
“Oh, God,” I whimpered.
“Don’t close your eyes,” he demanded.
Instinctively, I wanted to escape in the sensual world he was building, so it was hard to stay focused on his face.
His touch was gentle, but demanding. He explored me, and I let my legs fall apart, silently entreating for more.
My body was restless, searching for something just out of my reach as I lifted my hips and rubbed hard against his marauding fingers.
“I think I need you to fuck me,” I said in a breathless voice.
“No, you don’t,” Jett answered in a graveled voice. “Do you trust me, Ruby?”
“Yes,” I whimpered as I felt myself quivering with need. I had faith that Jett could take care of almost anything, including the fire he’d started inside me.
“Then close your eyes, remember that I’m right here, and let yourself feel everything. Don’t think about anything else except pleasure.”
My eyes slammed closed, thinking that if what he was doing was less intense, maybe my body would stop aching.
It didn’t.
I fell into a darkness that only allowed me to feel the madness even more.
His strokes grew bolder and harder, giving me some of the rougher pressure I instinctively knew I needed.
“Please,” I cried out.
“Relax,” he crooned. “Just feel.”
“I feel too much,” I gasped out.
“Because it’s new. It’s not too much. You’re wet and you’re so ready to come.”
I felt him penetrate me with one of his fingers, and I mewled, my head starting to thrash with frustration.
“You’re so tight, sweetheart,” he said gently.
I let out a loud moan, and lifted my hips again urgently.
I wasn’t too sure how long I could handle the pleasure and torment of what he was doing to me.
He retreated and completely focused on the tiny bundle of nerves that were throbbing for attention.
Harder.
Faster.
And so mind-blowing that I felt the tight ball in my belly start to unfurl and shoot straight between my thighs, intensifying an ache that was almost unbearable.
“Yes. Yes, please,” I urged him on mindlessly.
My body started to tremor and I experienced nothing but pleasure waving over my entire body as I helplessly tried to hold onto my sanity.
“Jett!” I screamed as I reached some kind of pinnacle.
His mouth slammed over mine as though he wanted to swallow my gratification. I kissed him roughly as my body started to wind down, never wanting to let my beautiful man go.
I was panting as he finally moved his hand from my sex.
I watched as he put his fingers into his mouth one by one and sucked my juices from the digits.
“Someday, I’m going to taste your pussy, and lick every sweet drop,” he said gruffly as he looked into my eyes.
I shivered, and my body went taut all over again. Yeah, I knew about oral sex. I wasn’t uneducated about the human body—not in theory. But after what had happened, I couldn’t imagine how intense that experience would be.
My mouth was suddenly dry. I licked my lips before I asked, “Will I get to do that to you?”
His eyes grew fierce as he answered, “Maybe. Some women don’t like to do that.”
“I think I’d love it,” I answered eagerly, wondering what it would be like to pleasure Jett until he lost control.
He smirked at me as he made us comfortable lying close and face-to-face, his arm tightly around my waist. “Baby, there aren’t many guys who would turn it down.”
“Is it better than having sex?” I asked curiously. Now that I had somebody who had a plethora of knowledge, and wasn’t shy about talking about sex, I wanted to know everything.
He shook his head slightly. “Not better. Just different.”
“I want to do everything with you,” I confessed.
He stroked my hair back from my face as he said, “We need to take this slow, Ruby. It’s not easy because I want you so bad that my balls are constantly blue, but I need to get this right. Did what we did scare you?”
“I think it’s a knee-jerk reaction to be alarmed for a second,” I explained. “But I think I want to be with you so much that it goes away before I ever really acknowledge it. I want to know what I’ve been missing, and what I never got a chance to figure out because of my past. And somehow I know I can only do that with you.”
He ran a hand through his hair in what appeared to be frustration. “Nothing needs to happen fast, Ruby. And I need you to tell me if something feels wrong.”
I smiled at him mischievously. “What you did felt pretty damn right to me. My only regret is that you didn’t get anything out of it. It doesn’t seem fair.”
I wanted to please Jett, too. I didn’t want my sexual introduction to be entirely one-sided, and I knew how it felt to need.
“It will happen eventually,” he promised. “And don’t ever think that I don’t get anything out of hearing you scream my name while you come. It gives me satisfaction, and it’s pretty damn good for my ego.”
“I’m sure you already knew that you were good in the sex department,” I said drily.
“I do,” he agreed arrogantly. “But it’s been awhile for me, Ruby. I haven’t been with anyone since the accident.”
I frowned at him. “Why?”
“Lisette’s rejection destroyed my confidence, I guess. I didn’t want to get naked because of my scars. And I’m not as athletic as I used to be because of my leg.”
My heart ached, and once again, I really wanted to hurt Lisette. “I wish I could bitch-slap her,” I said angrily. “Honestly, Jett, I understand that you lost some of your confidence, but you’re still drop-dead gorgeous, ripped like a male model, and you’re in incredible physical shape except for your leg. And I still want to take a bite of your ass every time I see you. Who cares about a few scars when you have so much to offer any woman? You’re special. You said that finding pleasure is much more than just a fuck. I don’t think many men really think that way.”
Jett chuckled and kissed me on the forehead. “You are good for my ego, Cinderella,” he said, his voice overflowing with humor.
“You should already have a healthy ego about everything,” I insisted. “You have everything a woman could ever want, and I’m not talking about all the money you have. That’s just a bonus.”
“Most women don’t think like you do, either,” Jett said in a more serious tone. “Not in my world.”
“Then you need to find another world, because I think yours is full of silly, superficial bimbos,” I told him emphatically.
I couldn’t see how any woman could look at Jett and not want him.
He grinned at me. “I guess there are a few good ones, like Dani and Harper. But they never really lived in our world. Harper made a career out of building homeless shelters all over the country, giving away her skills as an architect, and you know what Dani is like.”
“Did you love Lisette?” I asked, knowing I’d asked him about that before, but hoping I might get a more thorough answer this time.
“I thought I did,” he explained thoughtfully. “But when I look back on our relationship, she pretty much orchestrated everything. And I just accepted it. I went to engagements and events that she thought were important, and I can see now how we really didn’t spend any time together alone. I don’t think we ever truly got to know each other. I didn’t see anybody else, and when she hinted that it was time to get married, I just went along with it. I was so busy all the time between volunteering for PRO, and working my part of the business to keep it growing. I guess I never questioned my relationship because I’d gotten used to Lisette. Now, I wonder how I never noticed that she’d never even said that she loved me.”
My heart squeezed painfully in my chest. “I know she hurt you, but you’re so much better off without her,” I said softly as I stroked his jawline. “You can rebuild your ego.”
“I think you’re doing that for me, Cinderella,” he said with a laugh.
“And I’ll keep on doing it until you think the same way as I do about yourself.”
He raised a brow. “I don’t think I’m ever going to want to take a bite out of my own ass.”
A laugh escaped from my lips before I replied, “But you’ll know that you deserve the best.”
“I wish you knew that, too,” he retorted. “Then maybe you wouldn’t argue about taking things that you need right now.”
“I’m working on it,” I said. “I’m just so used to struggling alone. It’s hard for me, Jett. I went for a very long time not feeling like I deserved anything.”
“But you’re technically mine for now,” he said thoughtfully. “If we were really a couple, would it be so difficult?”
If Jett was mine, I’d feel like the luckiest woman in the world. “But we aren’t, really.”
“We could be,” Jett suggested. “And I’d feel a whole lot better about being your sexual education teacher if we were trying to build a relationship. I care about you, Ruby. I want to be your guy. All you have to do is say yes. I have no idea where it will all go, but we have more than some couples do. We’re attracted to each other, and we’re friends.”
I looked at the sincerity in his gorgeous eyes. “You can’t possibly mean that.”
“I’ve never meant something more,” he argued. “I value our friendship, but I think both of us want more. Let’s figure out how much more together.”
Never in a million years would I have thought that Jett would want to try to have a real relationship with me. “I want to be your friend. But I want to be close to you, too,” I said honestly.
“Then be mine,” he said persuasively. “If we’re together, then it would make sense that I would do everything I could to help you and vice versa. That’s what couples do, right?”
He’d been part of a couple, and I found it sad that he had to ask that question.
“What would you get out of it?” I asked in a tremulous voice.
“That’s easy,” he answered swiftly. “I’d get you.”
“A homeless woman who has no future and not even a high school education?” I said sadly.
“Don’t say that,” he said angrily. “I’d get the bravest, most beautiful, intelligent, and talented woman I’ve ever met. Don’t put yourself down because of your circumstances, Ruby. That’s not who you are. Being homeless wasn’t your fault. If anything, I admire your courage. You’ve kept fighting because nobody was there for you. But I’m here now. And I’m not going anywhere.”
It was at that exact moment that I realized that I was totally, completely, and irrevocably in love with Jett Lawson. Maybe I’d already been falling for him, but I wasn’t falling anymore. I’d landed with a thud, and gotten slammed over the head with the knowledge that he’d always be the man I wanted.
And the thought terrified me.
“Whatever is going through that beautiful head of yours right now, get rid of it. You look scared,” Jett grumbled.
“I am,” I confessed. “I want to say yes more than I’ve ever wanted anything, but you’re way out of my league.”
“Yeah, well, I think you’re way out of mine, too. But I’m still asking.”
“Is the relationship going to be real?” I asked, still not understanding why he actually wanted me. I was already more than willing to have sex with him.
“As real as it gets,” he answered firmly. “Say yes, Ruby. What do we have to lose?”
My heart. I could lose my heart.
I took a deep breath and remembered what I’d learned so far in therapy.
My reality isn’t what other people think or see. It’s distorted because of my background.
While I was struggling not to see myself as a complete loser who didn’t deserve anything good to happen to her, Jett obviously saw me way differently.
And God, I wanted to be the woman he wanted to see every single day.
Happiness was within my grasp. All I had to do was reach out and grab it.
Problem was, I didn’t want to lose it again. I’d be devastated.
He’s worth it.
I sighed as I looked at the face of the man who had changed my life.
I might be afraid, but if I didn’t try to make our relationship real, I knew I’d always regret it.
“Yes,” I finally said in a mesmerized tone.
“You won’t be sorry,” Jett said fiercely. “I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you never wish you hadn’t taken me on. And I’ll be happy that you can’t argue about me giving you the things you need.”
“I don’t think that was part of the deal,” I said hurriedly.
He gently pushed a stray lock of hair from my face as he answered, “Ruby, if you’re mine, you share my life. It’s going to be give-and-take. It’s not in me to have a woman and not give her everything I can to make her life easier.”
I sighed. “I know,” I conceded. “But it’s not really fair because I don’t have a lot to give except myself. Not right now.”
Eventually, I’d have my inheritance, but I didn’t have a penny of my own yet.
“That’s all I want,” he answered. “I think in a good relationship, things go back and forth. I can guarantee that there are going to be times when I’ll need you more than you need me in the future, and you’ll have your chance to be there for me. But right now, let’s just get this new life moving.”
It was hard for me to imagine a time when Jett wasn’t the strong one in our relationship, but I was going to do everything I could to make his words a reality. I was going to fight for my success, and give back all that he had given me emotionally.
I gave him a small smile. “I think I’m ready.”
He grinned. “I know I am,” he declared right before he sealed the deal with a toe-curling kiss that wiped all negative thoughts from my brain for the rest of the night.