Chapter Two
July 2016
Payton
“Mother, you’re being unreasonable,” I said as I sat staring at her from the other side of her large, oak desk.
“I’m not being unreasonable, Payton,” she said, drumming her fingernails on the desk, making the clicking sound that I’d hated since I was a child. “I’m simply telling you that you’ve had all the benefits of an excellent college education and opportunities that other people couldn’t even dream about, and now it’s time for you to find a husband and settle down into the life that is befitting of the granddaughter of George Halas.”
“You are being horribly sexist, Mother,” I said as I gripped the arms of the square, black, leather chair I was sitting in and took a deep breath before continuing. “I know what I want to do with my life and it does not involve getting married to some rich guy simply to pop out a few kids and make the family happy. I want a career, Mother. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am.”
“Oh please, Payton,” my mother said as she rolled her eyes and then spun her chair around to look at the wall behind her desk. “You’ve dabbled in the idea of sports management.”
“Mother, I’ve earned both a bachelors and a master’s degree in the field, and worked my way up the ladder at several organizations,” I reminded her. “I’ve been involved in the financial side as well as the recruiting and marketing sides of the business. I am well educated and I’ve got experience! All I’m asking for is an opportunity to work with the Bears’ GM and learn the job.”
“Impossible,” my mother said as she swung back around to look at me. Her expression was icy, as usual, but I knew that underneath she was boiling with rage. “You are not going to step into the number one position in the organization simply because you’re my daughter.”
“I’m not asking you to make me GM, Mother!” I cried. I could feel my frustration rising as I pushed myself up out of the chair and walked over to the window. I looked out over Lake Michigan with my back to my mother as I spoke, “I want a chance, Mother. I want an opportunity to prove I’m as good as everyone says I am. You’ve heard them. You’ve read the recommendation letters. I can do the job. I know I can.”
“Payton, there are a lot of things your father filled your head with, and this idea that you could one day be in charge of the Bears is one of them,” she said as the clicking continued. “I’m sitting in this chair because I’m a Halas, but I also recognize my role in the organization is not to get involved with the nitty-gritty of running the team. I’m here to oversee the implementation and continuation of programs that your grandfather started. I’m not here to run the team as if I were a coach, or even the GM. The idea that a woman your age could step into a position of such power is ludicrous, and I won’t have it.”
“But Mother, I’m twenty-eight! I’ve grown up with the Bears and I’ve been working in the industry since I graduated! I know what I’m doing and I’m absolutely qualified to do it!” I yelled as I spun around and faced her. “The fact that you are saying no to your only daughter after all the hard work I’ve done to get to this point is not only unfair, but it’s also shortsighted and narrow minded!”
“Be that as it may,” my mother said rising an eyebrow. “You have two choices, Payton Gale Lasky. You may either find yourself a nice man to marry and get on with the task of raising the next generation of Halas children or you can walk out of this office and figure out a way to maintain your current standard of living on your own.”
“Wait, you’re telling me that if I don’t find a man and get married, you’ll cut off my allowance?” I asked stunned that my mother was forcing me into a corner.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” she replied as she smoothed her chin-length bob with one hand and then looked up at me.
“How can you be such a hypocrite?” I asked as I looked at her helplessly. “You’re a woman who owns the most revered football team in the country and you’re denying your own daughter an opportunity to follow in your footsteps? Your well-qualified daughter, I might add.”
“I’m not being a hypocrite, Payton,” she said as she stood up behind her desk and pulled herself up to her full height. From this vantage point, I was more than a little intimidated. My mother was a formidable woman and in her Chanel suit and Manolo Blahnik heels, she dwarfed me. She leaned forward resting the tips of her fingers on her desk as she spoke in a chilling tone, “I married my husband because my father ordered me to, and I bore you children because that’s what was expected of me. I did not whine or complain about my lot in life, did I? No, I did not. I smiled and did my goddamn duty because that’s what you do in this family, Payton. Your fancy education and your years of experience are all well and good, but they do nothing to ensure that this family’s place in Chicago history is preserved. That is your job, and you will do it whether you like it or not, or else you will suffer the consequences of your actions. Your brother never would have behaved like this.”
I stood listening to my mother with a stunned look on my face as she ordered me to become a brood mare for the good of the Halas name. I was shocked that she was speaking in such brutal terms, but as I turned the words over in my brain and thought about where she’d come from and who she was, I realized that the apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree.
My grandfather had been a shrewd businessman, and he’d figured out a way to ensure that his staff and players remained loyal to him no matter what hardships they faced. He made the battle about maintaining the team – no matter what. I suddenly remembered the snowy Christmas Eve that my older brother Jonathan had come down with the flu. My mother had begged her father to stay and open presents with the family while she tended to her sick child, but he’d wanted to make sure that the field was ready for the big show down between the Bears and the Packers the next day. My mother had begun crying as he put on his coat, and I remember him looking at her and saying, “Jo, stop your belly aching! The kid’s got a cold and we can open presents any time, but tomorrow is a once in a lifetime chance for some of the folks who are going to show up at Soldier Field, and there is no way I’m going to let those people down. They’re loyal fans!”
My mother had nodded and wiped her eyes, but the moment his Olds backed out of the drive, she sunk to the floor sobbing with her face in her hands. As I looked up at her, I saw that woman with mascara running in rivulets down her face as she wept for her father, small and sad on the kitchen floor. I wanted to remind her of that moment, but I didn’t dare.
“You have been spoiled, Payton,” she continued. “It’s your father’s fault that you are such a self-centered young woman. He always wanted to give you the world, and you took it for granted that he would. Now that you’re expected to do something in return for all that you’ve been given, you’re resentful and angry? I don’t think so, young lady. Put on your big girl pants and join the real world, Payton Gale. Your brother would never have caused these kinds of problems, you know.”
“You are unbelievable, Mother,” I whispered in horror as I listened to her enumerate my faults and compare me to my dead brother. “I’ve never been selfish when it came to this family. No one is. We’re not allowed to be. I’m simply asking for an opportunity to do what I do best and help my family’s business thrive. I don’t understand why breeding trumps business.”
“Because I say it does, and my job is to protect and maintain this family and its business,” my mother snapped. “You have one month to make your choice and get to work on finding a husband. If you need help, I’ve got a long list of eligible bachelors in Chicago that you can work with.”
“No thank you, Mother,” I said stiffly. “When I’m ready to find a husband, I’m sure I can do that perfectly well on my own.”
“Good, then we’re in agreement,” she nodded as she stood up and grabbed her phone so she could scan the messages that had come in while she had been issuing her ultimatum. “You may keep your apartment until you make your choice.”
“I’m not getting married,” I said in a staccato voice.
“Payton Gale, do not test me,” my mother said narrowing her eyes as she smoothed her skirt before sitting back down at her desk. “Your willfulness has always been tedious. Why can’t you be more like your brother? He was always so accommodating and willing to help.”
“Of course he was! He was a child!” I cried. “But he’s dead!”
A dark look crossed my mother’s face as she narrowed her eyes and stared silently up at me. I felt my stomach twisting in knots as I held her gaze and willed myself not to look away, but the look on her face frightened me and I couldn’t stop myself from averting my eyes.
“If Daddy were alive, he’d be appalled at what you’re doing,” I said quietly looking back up at her and watching as the words hit their mark. My mother flinched slightly at the mention of my father, and then took a deep breath.
“Well, then it’s a good thing he’s not, isn’t it?” she said staring at me with her steely gaze.
I shook my head as I grabbed my Prada bag off of the floor and headed for the door. I had my hand on the handle when I turned and looked at my mother. She was staring down at an open folder on her desk, but I knew she wasn’t actually reading it because her nails were clicking on the desk in a rhythm that didn’t have a beat. I stared at her for a moment and then said, “You know, it’ll never be too late to admit you’re wrong, Mother.”
When she didn’t respond, I yanked the door open and walked out.