Flywheel – A heavy metal wheel that is part of the race car’s clutch system, used to keep the camshaft turning steadily.

 

The day before the wedding was a little crazy. It seemed my waiting ‘til the last minute for everything backfired on me.

First, Jameson and I moved into our new house on Summit Lake and, second, I had a doctor’s appointment where I basically told my doctor I was having sex on my wedding night.

I waited until after the ultrasound, where he told me the reason for my heartburn might be because my kid was sporting an insane amount of hair, just like his father. But once he was done with that, I pitched my speech.

It was only mildly humiliating to be arguing with my doctor while his head was between my legs, but I was determined.

“Sway,” I could tell by his tone he was preparing me for the letdown. “I just—”

“Please, Dr. Sears... it’s my wedding night.” I jumped in before he could say no. “It’s tradition that my husband would want to deflower me,” I told him with an expression that I had perfected over the years for persuading people, particularly men. It worked on Charlie and Jameson, why not my doctor?

“Deflower?” he snorted. “You’re kidding, right?” He laughed, making some notes on my chart. “You do realize you’re eight months pregnant. I’m pretty sure the “deflower” took place a while ago.”

“Not really the point here,” I argued, propping myself up on my elbows. I had to do something to convince him this was, in fact, a good idea—so I did what any sane woman does to get her way.

I cried.

I was desperate, and I needed a good romp.

“I can only handle so much porting of the heads!”

Dr. Sears looked over at me with a curious expression. “Porting of the heads?”

“It’s a process of bringing the engine to the highest level of efficiency to produce optimal power output. This reciprocating motion is killing me!”

“Reciprocating motion...?”

“It’s like length stroking and—”

“That’s okay,” he quickly said. “I get it.”

After a good ten minutes of excruciating silence, he finally said, “Okay,” and then sighed. “Just be careful, nothing crazy.”

I had to giggle. “I’m not looking to do any press forging. I just want some romp time with my heathen.”

Dr. Sears ignored me completely. “You still have two more weeks until this baby is safe to be born. I would really like to see you make it to thirty-six weeks, but I doubt that’s going to happen.” He gave me the same look Charlie gave me when I was sent home from school early in the seventh grade because I called my teacher a cunt for not letting me sit next to Jameson during an assembly.

“Between you—and this baby wanting out of you—it’d be a miracle if you make it to the end of January.”

I wanted my little, adorable, flailing spaz to be healthy, but I also wanted him out of my body. Thank baby Jesus I wasn’t an elephant. Those poor creatures were pregnant for almost two years.

“Now, what about dancing?” I asked as though I was preparing for a Presidential Debate. I’m surprised I didn’t have note cards in front of me.

He laughed as I suspected he would. “You can dance, but again, nothing crazy.”

After that, I felt good about that appointment.

When I got back to Charlie’s house to finish packing clothes for our drive to Vegas after the wedding, Emma was waiting for me.

“I have a great idea,” she chimed as I walked back into my bedroom.

“Really? Let me guess... you’ve decided to join the circus?”

She completely ignored me. “I think we should get vajazzled again before the wedding.”

Now as much as I enjoyed the blinged-out girly pad, I did not enjoy getting my beaver pelt ripped out by that tiny Asian woman who laughed every time I screamed out in pain.

But against all good and reasonable judgment, I let Emma convince me to get vajazzled again.

Who doesn’t want their crankcase to sparkle? Especially when she was on the pole for the next race.

I decided I wouldn’t reveal my newfound freedom with the dirty heathen until our wedding night, along with my blinged-out girly pad. Just saying the words wedding night had me squealing like a four-year-old at her first slumber party.

When Emma and I got back, she left to get ready, and I took a nap in Jameson’s lap.

“Don’t you dare answer that!”

“Why?” I asked, glancing down at my ringing cell phone when I woke up.

“Because... they will come over here,” Jameson said, opening a beer. He tossed the beer cap on the end table next to him. “I can’t handle any of them today after that tux fitting. Let’s enjoy a few hours alone in our house. We have to see them all day tomorrow.”

“You know they are coming over anyway, right?”

Jameson stared at me, aghast. “What?”

“Jameson, do you pay attention to anything?”

“Well, that depends.” He sat down in one of the overstuffed suede leather chairs I picked out, which I might add, made me happy since he swore he would never sit in them. “Who told me they were coming over?”

“Emma.”

“Well, there you go.” He leaned back in the chair, kicking his feet up on the matching leather ottoman. “I don’t listen to anything when she speaks.”

Before we could continue, they were knocking on the door.

Emma decided the rehearsal dinner would be held at our house, as in, the house we just bought.

Jameson had other ideas about it, but that didn’t matter as far as Emma was concerned.

It took about four weeks to get it painted and decorated the way we wanted, which Emma did. I originally loved the kitchen but, of course, Emma remodeled it. I was pleasantly surprised at how well she did. The entire house had a calm, homey, lived-in feeling with a warm, inviting palette all with a shit load of furnishings she’d purchased at Old Canary and Pottery Barn.

Within an hour, our house and the deck outside had people everywhere. I sat in my overstuffed chair with my feet up while everyone mingled and talked to Jameson, who sat beside me. It was mostly Jameson’s family since my family consisted of Charlie and me. Both my parents were only children so I had no cousins or aunts and uncles, and my grandparents had long since passed away.

I suppose the Lucifer twins were now family, but I still refused to acknowledge that I was actually related to the little bastards. Just another thing in my life I was in denial about.

Emma plopped down next to me and then sighed. “Are you ready to leave soon?”

“What are you talking about?” I asked, keeping an eye on Jameson who was now demonstrating to Logan how to play pool. I was positive someone was going to lose an eye.

“We are leaving for Kiana Lodge tonight,” she told me, giving me that don’t you pay attention to anything look.

“Oh, right.” I must have missed that one in the hour-long tirades she’d gone on these days concerning this goddamn wedding. I, for one, would be glad when it was over. Not that I didn’t want to marry Jameson, because I couldn’t wait to tie myself to him in every way, but I hated the entire fret over something that would only last a few hours. And don’t get me started on the money that went into these things.

Seriously though, who spent five thousand dollars on a fucking cake? Pure insanity.

Emma did, or should I say, Jameson did. He handed over his credit card a few weeks back, and I reminded him every day how horrible of an idea that was.

“Where will Jameson be tonight then?” I asked, still eyeing Jameson and Logan.

“Aiden, Spencer, and Jameson are driving up in the morning. You guys aren’t allowed to see each other until the wedding.”

Damn traditions.

Later that night, we had a simple bachelorette party while Alley, Emma, Mallory, and Nancy got drunk in the hotel room.

I drank root beer floats. Jameson briefly told me about his bachelor party a few days ago, and he felt as though it was more for our family. After this, I felt the same way. Not that I really wanted a crazy bachelorette party. It seemed like this was more about keeping up with traditions than having fun. It didn’t help that I was pregnant and couldn’t have a good time, though.

I was also not amused with my gifts. Well, I liked the nighties I got, but the vibrators were annoying. One vibrator was okay; five was not.

What did they think we were going to do, double-team each other?

 

That morning I lay in bed with a grin, thinking of the night to come. I finally understood what we created back when we were eleven. Our lives had been so intertwined, knitted together to the point the frayed fabric was now one. Strings of friendship, desire, love, lust, bonds, all tangled, creating one string that after today would forever be.

I went along with all the wedding traditions with my usual lackadaisical attitude. I let everyone fuss over me for the last few weeks, but I was at a breaking point. Here I sat in my dress and ready to go, crying profusely.

The breaking point was reached when I read a note Jameson gave me to read this morning.

 

 

Surprisingly, it was the perfect note for me that morning.

I never thought this day would finally come. In May I set out to prove to Jameson that I could be more than his best friend. Although that originally backfired on me, it taught us both something about the way we felt for each other and a taste we never knew we wanted.

When he proposed, I honestly thought I was dreaming. How could everything I wanted with him be true? After much internal debate these last few weeks, I had come to the conclusion my fairytale wasn’t a nightmare after all, and your life could go from the unspeakable to the fairytale, if you let it, if you believed it could.

Even with all this excitement, that didn’t stop the tears after I read his note. It wasn’t sappy or anything, but the fact that he knew what to say to me, made me cry.

I don’t know why I was having a panic attack, but I was.

“Oh, my God!” I yelled and then giggled in a passive aggressive way, staring at my reflection in the full-length mirror.

There have been a few times in my life where I have had a full-blown panic attack. The first being when I saw a penis on a porno Emma and I stole from Spencer when I was thirteen. The second, when I found out that there were balls attached to it and they were covered in hair.

“What’s the matter?” Nancy asked, stepping beside me rubbing my back.

“My dad... is gonna know I’m not a virgin after tonight... oh, God!” I wailed louder.

It was a stupid thing to be thinking of, but the idea that Charlie would know I was no longer a virgin terrified me.

“Sway... you’re eight months pregnant.” Alley snorted. “He’s not an imbecile, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t think you’re the Virgin Mary.”

It made me feel slightly better to see the snarky side of Alley return. She’d become increasingly sympathetic and supportive these last few days, and it was becoming intolerable. I could only handle so much sympathy. I needed someone to tell me the way it was.

“Alley is right, sweetie ...” Nancy jumped in while continuing to pet me. “Charlie already knows that.”

“She’s just nervous,” Alley deduced, examining my rather distraught expression. “Give her some water.”

“I’d be nervous, too, if I was committing myself to someone like Jameson for the rest of my life,” Emma said, handing me a bottle of water.

“Emma!” Nancy slapped her upside the head. “You’re not helping.” She turned to me again, rubbing my back. “Just take deep breaths if you’re feeling overwhelmed.”

“You’re starting to sound like you’re directing a porno, Nancy,” I told her, blowing my nose.

“Okay, shhh... there you go, sweetie,” she said, ignoring my comment.

I didn’t realize Charlie was standing there until I heard him clear his throat. Emma, Alley, and Nancy quickly made excuses as to why they needed to leave.

They all smiled at Charlie before leaving. He stepped forward and leaned against the wall, smiling. “You look beautiful, sweetheart.”

“Thanks, Dad. I’m sorry... I’m just ...”

“Emotional,” he finished for me.

“Yeah... I guess I am.” I nodded and turned to look at myself in the mirror again.

We sat there in silence for a few moments before he moved from his place against the wall and pulled me into a tight hug.

“I wish your mother could see you today. She would be so proud of you. I’m proud of you. You’ve grown into such a beautiful young woman.” His voice broke as a tear slipped down his cheek. “I can still remember seeing you for the first time ...” He couldn’t finish and began crying. “I’m so happy I was able to be here for you today.”

Oh, Jesus, now look at me! I started crying even harder.

“Thank you, Dad, for everything,” I choked. “I’ll always remember this day, right here.”

This was another one of those moments where I was crying uncontrollably, and not in a normal way. Tears, drool, and snot were flowing in abundance. Poor Charlie just held me, crying as well; I didn’t think he really knew what to do at that point.

I was tempted to ask Van to find us some Ben and Jerry’s to pull us out of our emotional breakdown. Instead, I cried it out with Charlie.

 

I was slow getting out of bed this morning. My cold was still hanging on a little and after getting drunk with the boys, chasing shots of Yukon Jack with Nyquil, I was tired. But when I thought about what today was, I was more than ready to start the day.

After today, Sway Reins would finally be my wife.

Rolling over, I swung my legs out of bed to find Spencer on my floor in his underwear. I kicked him in the stomach. “Put some fucking clothes on.”

He moaned, curling up with his pants under his cheek.

I began my morning by showering and finally shaving the “championship challenge,” as Tate called it.

Around the time I took over the points battle in Charlotte, Bobby, Tate and I decided on some good, healthy competition throwing back beers that night. We wouldn’t shave until the championship was over. Since I hadn’t shaved a week prior to that, I had a good three-month growth now. I didn’t think Sway wanted to marry a logger today so I went ahead and shaved but left the stubble she preferred me to have.

It took us a good couple hours to get going that morning and to find Lane. We eventually found him sleeping in the kitchen pantry with a box of Captain Crunch.

I’m not sure whose idea it was to leave a three-year-old alone with us last night but it sure wasn’t a good one. For one, judging by his moody demeanor, he clearly didn’t get enough sleep. But the worst part was his hair.

For the past year, Lane had asked Alley for a mohawk. When Spencer got drunk and shaved his usual wavy mess of black hair into a Travis Barker mohawk, well, Lane was slightly irritated that his dad was allowed to and he couldn’t. So you put a group of six guys alone with a three-year-old begging you for a mohawk, what do you think we did?

“Nice hair, Lane.”

“It pretty awesome.” He nodded once we were in the car. He ran his hand over the spikes, grinning. “I thinking Mama will lovd it.”

“You mean love it.”

“Tats what I said.”

“No, you said lovd. By the way, that has an “H” in it.”

He rolled his eyes and took my coffee from me. “Gimme that.”

“I think you’re a little young for coffee.” I took my cup back.

Another eye roll and a sigh, “If I havt to be with you all day. I need it more than you.”

By now, all the guys were in the car and looking at Lane and me with a curious expression. Spencer noticed his son’s hair and glanced at me. “Alley is going to kill me.”

“No shi... shoot,” I corrected. Lane ignored us all as he became engrossed in his dirt bike magazine.

 

The wedding was being held at the Kiana Lodge in Poulsbo, Washington. It was secluded and exactly what we needed to keep the media and fans away. It was a beautiful place as my parents actually renewed their wedding vows here when we were younger, which was how Emma got the idea to have the wedding here.

The grounds were layered with beautiful flowers, trees, and wildlife, but you couldn’t see any of that today with the snow.

Emma had gone with the theme she thought appropriate for Sway... a fairytale... it was perfect.

When we left Elma, it had just started to snow. When we pulled up to the lodge, the grounds were covered with about three inches of snow. We drove Sway’s Expedition and, I’ll admit, we spent more time testing out the 4-wheel drive then we actually did driving.

I’m like any other man out there—give me a snowy day, and I wanna play.

“What the fuck is that?” Spencer asked, pointing at the princess carriage parked out front when we pulled into the drive.

Aiden and Justin laughed in the backseat.

“I didn’t think she was serious about that shit,” I grumbled. “Apparently, we are supposed to leave in that.”

“Ha!” Spencer snorted. “Good luck with this snow.”

“Don’t even think about going up there,” Alley told us when we walked into the lodge. “Emma will kill you.”

“Nice to see you, too, Alley,” I retorted, leaning against the wooden banister. “Did you give her the note?”

Spencer headed straight for her to pull her into a bear hug and a kiss with Lane on his back.

“Yes, she said to give you this,” she handed me an envelope, wiggling away from Spencer and then straightening her dress. Her eyes narrowed at her son and then Spencer. “I’m not going to freak out. I’m not,” she told herself forcing a smile. “Lane, honey, you will be growing your hair out.”

“But Mama, it look awesome!”

There wasn’t much she could say to him with the excitement he put forth at his hairdo. In turn, she smiled and then punched Spencer. “You’re an idiot.”

“I’ll bet you I’m allowed—” Aiden smiled, oblivious to Spencer and Alley arguing beside us. He started toward the stairs before my mom jumped in, holding an arm full of flowers.

“No boys in there,” she said, firmly pushing against his chest as he grinned at her. “Besides, I have things for you to do. Help me outside.”

Spencer and I both groaned. “Didn’t Emma hire people to do this shit?” I asked, tucking the envelope away.

“Certain things, yes, but not the decorating. Emma wasn’t about to trust that to anyone.” My mom smiled and shook her head slightly, as though she knew Emma was just being controlling.

“Besides, just because you’re a NASCAR Champion doesn’t make you too good to help, Jameson.”

Spencer and Aiden burst out laughing that my four-foot-eleven mother put me in my place. I hung my head in shame, indubitably pouting.

“Besides, it will keep all of you out of trouble,” Alley added smugly, heading back upstairs with Lane in her arms.

“All right, Mom ...” I turned to her. “What do you need us to do?”

“Follow me, boys.”

 

An hour later, I felt like those camels in the desert transporting shit. The only difference was I wasn’t in some third world country, and I wasn’t carrying anybody, but I was sweating.

We did stop to have a snowball fight, but that didn’t last long before Dad was yelling at us to act like adults.

Once Mom was finished using us as her bitches, I made my way to where I was supposed to be getting dressed upstairs. I was tempted to sneak a peek inside Sway’s room, but in fear of Emma chopping off my dick, I steered clear.

Instead, I found myself reading Sway’s note.

Tucked inside the envelope was a picture of me inside my sprint car at Elma when I was around fifteen, maybe sixteen, with Sway sitting on the rear tire checking tire pressures. On the back of the picture, in what looked to be eyeliner, it read:

 

 

I burst into laughter at the little humping stick figures she drew. We were the perfect match.

I had just gotten my tuxedo on when Spencer and Tommy came barreling into the room, Spencer’s tie in his hand and his shirt unbuttoned half-way, wrinkled. Tommy was all dressed but looked like shit. He’d spent most of the drive up here puking out the window. Might have had something to do with my driving, but that’s beside the point.

“Sway and I rewrote her vows,” Spencer said, slurring his words.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, tucking in my shirt as I glared in his direction.

Tommy rushed toward the bathroom with a pale face, holding his hand to his mouth.

“They were good.” He sat down on the couch, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. “But they weren’t great. I helped spice them up a bit.”

“Are you drunk already? You stink like tequila.”

“No, no, I’m fine. I had a little shot,” he told me waving his arm around. “I’m nervous... are you?”

“I’m nervous you’re going to embarrass me somehow.”

He threw his head back in laughter. “As you should be, little brother.” He let out a booming laugh that made me cringe.

“Great,” I said with the same excitement that I exuded after finding out about my date night with Dana. “Why are you nervous?”

“I don’t know... it’s a big day.” He leaned forward to peer around the corner to the bathroom at Tommy. “Do you think he’s gonna make it?”

“Probably.” Ripping my tie away, I tried to tie it again. “Hell, I don’t know.”

I thought back to his words, “It’s a big day.”

It was a big day. Finally, today, Sway Reins would be mine.

As egotistical as that sounded, I still loved the sound of it. How could I not?

I thought back to when I first met her. All those years I’d convinced myself my attraction to her was purely physical, avoiding the real underlying feeling. From the time I first laid eyes on those beautiful green eyes of hers, I’d fallen. I didn’t know it, but I had. Looking back, I could pinpoint the warning signs now. When we were thirteen, other boys started becoming interested in her; that pissed me off to no end because she was mine. That was just the beginning of my possessive tendencies toward her. I basically chased away any guy who showed interest in her in fear she’d chose them over me, telling myself she deserved better. All those years of pushing her away, convinced I wasn’t good for her and neither was anyone else, look who she chose in the end.

Before long, Tommy was out of the bathroom and lying on the floor, moaning, when Mom made her way inside the room to make sure we were ready.

“Oh, my,” she gasped at Tommy’s appearance. “What happened?”

“He drank too much,” Spencer said with a yawn.

“Oh.” She checked Tommy’s forehead. “Let’s get you boys ready.”

It was though she thought we couldn’t do it ourselves. But when we looked at Tommy, we probably didn’t look too capable.

“There you go,” Mom said, fussing over my tie. I could have been doing this myself but she wanted to do this. Here I was her youngest son who was getting married, I wasn’t about to stop her.

With an emotional sigh, she took my jacket and held it for me to slip my arms into.

Looking at me now, she smiled, stepping back to admire me. “You look so handsome.”

“So sexy,” Spencer said sarcastically from where he lounged on the leather sofa. “I can hardly control myself.”

“Oh, you behave, shitdick,” she said, kicking him, and turned back to me, still beaming. “Are you ready?”

Spencer, Tommy, and I all gawked at her wide-eyed at her choice of wording.

“What?” Her cheeks flushed as she began to fidget. “Sway said it to Aiden this morning. I thought it was catchy and decided to use it.”

“Mother,” Spencer scolded, shaking his head at her as we all broke into laughter.

“Are you ready?” she finally asked when she caught her breath, clutching her side.

“Absolutely,” I replied, without hesitation, still chuckling to myself that my sweet mother called my brother a shitdick.

 

We were in the small room, waiting for the ceremony to begin when the Reverend came in followed by my dad.

“Jameson,” the Reverend smiled reaching to shake my hand. “How are you doing, son?”

“Good, thanks,” I replied. “And thanks for doing this for us.”

“Wouldn’t have missed it. Congrats on the championship,” he replied sincerely. “You ran a great season.” He turned his smile to Mom and Spencer. “Doesn’t this family look wonderful? Mrs. Riley, your dress is stunning.” His eyes narrowed at Spencer, as I’m sure he was remembering the skinny dipping instance with his daughter when we were kids. “Spencer,” he said curtly.

Spencer nodded in his direction, avoiding eye contact with him.

“Thank you very much, Reverend Campbell,” Mom said, still beaming like the proud mother. “This is a very special day for these two. Thank you for being part of it.”

“My pleasure.” He smiled. “When will we know when to go out to start?”

“Spencer will go check with Emma and Alley in a moment,” Dad told him, stepping inside the room with Lane on his back.

“Fuck it, let’s go now.” Spencer was on his feet in an instant. “This is it, last chance to make a run for it,” Spencer teased.

“Nah, I’ll stay.”

“Uh huh.”

I was stunned when I saw the room. Emma had outdone herself again. Everywhere I looked I saw flowers and white lights, like a fairytale.

It seemed like forever after I took my place at the front under the bower and turned to face everyone as I waited. Spencer, Aiden and Tommy, still pale faced, and Justin stood beside me.

Tyler, Bobby, Tate and other various team members were sitting a few rows back, handing money back and forth; I assumed placing bets on something I didn’t want to know.

Lane was the ring bearer and spent most of the time walking down the aisle, trying to stay away from the flower girl who tried to kiss him every five minutes. He was not amused by this.

Alley walked down the aisle first, followed by Emma, Andrea, and Mallory taking their places.

In fear for my safety, I chose Spencer as my best man. I wasn’t sure what he’d do to me if I hadn’t chosen him.

When the music changed to Wagner’s familiar march, the guests stood, and my breath caught in my throat. This was where the panic set in. Not in the way you’d think though; panic that she’d change her mind and wouldn’t want to marry someone like me, so close to danger and death all the time. It was a tall order to ask of a woman and I wouldn’t have blamed her if she didn’t want to.

But then I saw her. My bride.

Jesus. She’s beautiful.

All that fear and panic was gone.

Her dress was white and cut low enough I wanted to see more but not enough I wanted to knock anyone out if they looked at her. Although she was eight months pregnant, you couldn’t tell by looking at her.

It was perfect. It was exactly the dress I envisioned her wearing.

Both Sway and Charlie looked nervous. Charlie’s eyes were red and glossy—Sway looking at her feet.

Eventually she looked up, and her gaze caught mine, and our eyes locked. When she broke into that smile of hers I loved, I relaxed.

I chuckled to myself when Sway winked at me.

When they reached us, Charlie took her right hand from his arm to place it in mine.

“Take care of her,” he whispered in words meant only for me. It was then that I realized how hard this must be for him, giving away his only daughter.

I nodded to him before he took his seat. I wanted to tell him I would, but I couldn’t form the words.

Sway clutched my hand tightly, eagerly, lacing her warm fingers through mine. She gave them a squeeze as if to reassure me.

The ceremony itself was a traditional one, but not lengthy.

Emma had pretty much forced Sway and I to write our own vows; the problem was Aiden and I were drunk when I finished mine last night and now, as I looked down at my hand that I wrote them on, none of it made any fucking sense, not to mention they were smeared from my sweating.

“Well shit...” I muttered, obtaining a few laughs from Aiden and Spencer who stood beside me.

Sway smiled, letting out a soft giggle; she knew exactly what I had done.

Wing it, I told myself and went for it.

I reached for her hand. “Sway Marie Reins... you are my flywheel. You are what keeps my... camshaft rotating.” I winked and it earned me another giggle from Sway, I smiled down at her. “You keep everything in my life turning steadily. You connect the missing pieces of my life. I promise to be there for you, always, no matter what happens. I promise that if you’re sad, I will make you laugh. I promise that you’ll never walk alone. I’ll stand by your side. Through the brightest days and the darkest nights, I give you my heart, and I give you my soul.” I exhaled a deep breath when I finished and smiled to myself that I delivered the perfect vows she deserved with the right amount of aplomb for not having anything to go by. I did pretty fucking good as far as I was concerned.

Sway, of course, was crying by that point, and it took every ounce of self-control I had not to break down in front of everyone as well. This shit was emotional. Way more than I ever thought it’d be.

She smiled through her tears as she began her vows with a deep breath. “Our lives are all about choices. It’s about making our own happy ending, I believe that more than anything. With you, I’ve done that.” Sway looked down at her vows and then shot a glare at Spencer who was laughing, crumpled up the paper, and threw it at him. She then turned toward me again. “Jameson Anthony Riley, I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. You’ve been by my side since I was eleven, always supportive and never judging. I promise to tell you when you’re being an ass. I promise to be your flywheel and make sure your camshaft turns steadily.” She giggled. “Together we will walk as one. Together our darkest nights will become our brightest days. I give you my heart, and I give you my soul.”

And then we exchanged rings.

I had never worn a ring before, but this one felt comfortable, like it belonged there and always would. For my ring, we chose a black titanium ring since it was sure to get a little scuffed with my lifestyle.

In all the moments of uncertainty, the earliest days of our friendship with benefits convinced I couldn’t have it both ways, and pushing her away.

Now, there was no way to doubt that we belonged together, forever. If these last few months taught me anything, it was that together we were stronger. Together we would make it through anything life threw at us.

I had this idea of what my life would be like, but this wasn’t even close. I honestly believe expectations sell us short.

In reality, the real test is what happened when the unexpected happened because that was what really molded you. It changed all those laid out plans you once had. But with change could also bring something you never saw coming—the love of a lifetime.

My unexpected was this. The girl I thought would never be mine, agreed to mess around with me. The girl I never thought would understand how I felt, felt the same way. The girl I never thought would love me told me she loved me, too. And the girl I never thought would marry me was standing before me in a white dress, promising me forever.

This was one time in my life where the expected truly did pale in comparison to the unexpected turn my life had taken.

Sway was the girl who spoke her mind. The girl who kept me in line and made me laugh with her quirkiness and the adorable way her cute nose wrinkled when she laughed. She was my rock. My girl and finally, my wife.

 

Standing in front of the man of my dreams, butterflies dancing around in my belly, I had to focus on just breathing; forget about trying to decipher emotions.

I did the only thing I could do to distract myself. I decided on what I’d call myself now that I was married. This could take a while, but at the top of my list was “Wizard” since I’m no longer a Pit Lizard and I’ve been upgraded from Pigizzle. Wizard... It had a nice ring to it, magical even. Just like our fairytale love story.

When I focused once again on Jameson’s eyes as the minister finished the ceremony, so many moments in our lives were replaying in my mind like a slide show.

The moment we met and his grass green eyes locked with mine, wide and full of innocence. Our first kiss and the way his lips felt when they touched mine, the ever-present electric pulse humming between us and the exciting all-consuming feeling swirling throughout my body. I saw the day he asked me to stay in Charlotte, the way his hand felt against my ankle when he spoke the word “stay.” I saw the look of defeat when I left Sonoma. I saw him standing outside my house, waiting for me. His expression when I told him I was pregnant. And the look of pure relief when I agreed to marry him.

Here I was, standing in front of the man I loved for the last ten years. I still remembered the knobby-kneed little boy who liked cherry Jolly Ranchers, banana only Laffy Taffy, and whined like a two-year-old when he didn’t get his way. He may be a NASCAR champion now but, underneath it all, he was still that little boy at heart who was now my husband.

All the uncertainty I’d ever felt that he didn’t feel the same way seemed so silly now. He was here, showing me that he had felt the same way all along and that this was where we belonged.

Looking at him now, why did I ever have fear?

He was my hero, my best friend, the boy I branded cows with and my shoulder to cry on when I lost my virginity to a douche. He was my scary movie partner, the stealer of my Nine Inch Nails CDs and my dancing partner to a dance that only he knew the steps. He was my confidant, someone I could be me around, someone who knew me. He was the boy who gave me my first kiss at eleven and stole my heart in the pits of Knoxville Raceway seven years later.

He carved his name in countless record books beside the greatest racers in the world and in my heart.

He was my everything and now he would be my husband.

 

Finally, the minister pronounced us husband and wife, and let me kiss my bride.

Sway had tears in her eyes once again as I leaned down to press my lips softly to hers.

My girl had other ideas and got a laugh from the crowd when she flung her arms around my neck, kissed me with more passion than probably appropriate. I didn’t fucking care. I just wanted her to know how happy I was right then.

I wanted her to know I loved her all these years and wanted her as my wife. For that reason, I poured every emotion I ever had for her into that kiss and sure, it was inappropriate for a crowd but it didn’t matter to me.

It wasn’t until my dad cleared his throat and said with no measure of amusement, “Hey, dipshit, let the poor girl breathe,” that I figured it was enough.

Gently I pulled away, smiling down at her. She smiled, never regretting the display we just put on. With a return smile of my own, I took her hand and we turned toward our families. There was one last traditional moment I desperately wanted to hear.

“Friends and family,” Reverend Campbell announced, “it is my great pleasure to be the first to introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. Jameson Riley.”

Did you hear that? I sure did and fucking I loved the sound of that, as old fashioned as it may have been.

The reception followed directly after the ceremony. Still holding Sway’s hand, I led her into the main lodge, decorated with more flowers, ribbon and a shit load of white. I wasn’t really paying attention to what anything looked like aside from her.

My gaze caught the window at some point and I noticed it was still snowing outside, and I briefly wondered if we’d even be able to leave in the goddamn carriage. Surely, it didn’t have snow tires.

 

The wedding flowed with all the traditional crap and the only part I really enjoyed aside from the cake smashing was removing Sway’s garter. Wanting a rise out of her, I knew I wanted to embarrass her a little. Why not, right?

Somehow she had moved the garter down her leg but she wasn’t getting out of this. No way.

“Oh, come on...” Spencer yelled from off to my left when he saw what she’d done. “That’s no fun!”

With a wink, I flipped her dress up higher than necessary over her knee, letting my fingers trace from her upper thigh, lower and then I bent down to remove the garter, with my teeth, as slowly as I could.

Spencer, Tommy (who was feeling better) and Aiden both whistled as Sway flushed red.

When it was finally time for our first dance, I was relieved to find that Sway was in my arms. We chose “Can’t Help Falling in Love” as our first dance. That was one aspect of the wedding we were adamant on—our music selection. If Emma had her way, we’d be dancing to some Miley Cyrus song.

I was vaguely aware of photographs being taken, but tuned them out and concentrated on Sway, singing quietly to her.

I let go of her hand and twirled her around before capturing her once again in my arms. Everyone stayed off the dance floor, snapping pictures while we danced, lost in the moment together.

“Are you enjoying yourself, Mrs. Riley?” I whispered to her, giving those particular words a try. I liked the sound already.

She laughed. “That sounds good to hear, and, yes, I am, Mr. Riley.”

“I hoped you feel that way. I intend to say it a lot,” I replied happily. 

We made our way back to the wedding table where everyone decided to give us toasts. Handing a microphone to my family was a really bad idea, particularly when intoxicated.

Spencer started. “Before we get this party started... I wanted to congratulate you guys. Sway, you’ve always been like a little sister to me, and I’m glad my brother finally pulled his head out of his ass and asked you to marry him. We have all waited a long time for this wedding so... Let’s party!” he exclaimed, pumping his fists in the air while our guests cheered.

Alley took the microphone from him while holding Lane on her hip. “Welcome to the madness, Sway,” she said with a smile.

Lane leaned down into the microphone. “Happy wedding,” he said shyly and handed the microphone to Aiden before he buried his head in his mom’s shoulder.

“Whew!” was all he managed to say, throwing his champagne around in the air. He must have been trying to compete with Tommy.

Emma then took the microphone while Sway and I laughed at how drunk Aiden was. Aiden was always lively when drunk, but he was unskilled at staying on his own two feet.

“You know, once... hey... I wasn’t done—”

Dad snatched the microphone from her before she could go off on another one of her speeches, knocking over a few glasses of champagne as he did so.

“I think what Emma meant to say was... LET’S PARTY!”

My entire family was drunk, if you didn’t know, even my mom, who was dancing with Charlie.

When the speeches were finished, I led Sway out to the dance floor where Spencer queued the sounds of September.

Although it was hard to dance with Sway and her round belly, we made due. She didn’t hesitate to rub her ass against me either to tease me.

“You better watch out, wife. I’ll get even with you,” I growled against her neck in a rough strained voice. “You shouldn’t tease me.”

“I’m looking forward to it, husband,” Sway whispered in my ear as she once again pushed against my hips.

Two more weeks... two more weeks, I chanted to myself. How I was going to make it two more weeks was beyond me. I wasn’t sure I could make it through tonight with how amazing she looked in this dress.

We danced for hours to a variety of songs. Everyone took turns dedicating songs to us. Some were appropriate—some were not.

“Now... I remember one particular party at our house... sorry, Dad...” Spencer flashed our dad a smile. If only he really knew the parties we threw in our teenage years. “This song was playing that night, and I remember my little bro here dancing with Sway to it... so here’s to you two.” He signaled the DJ, and the sounds of a rap song pulsed through the speakers. The memories of that evening came to mind as I watched her shake her ass in front of me. For being eight months pregnant, she could still shake her ass with the best of them.

There were so many memories of my childhood with Sway in them. It was refreshing to know we’d be creating more for years to come, and I couldn’t wait.

My composure had long since vanished, watching Spencer dance around beside us. He looked like an asshole on the dance floor or a coked out version of Evander Holyfield—only white; the size was the same.

I was now vacillating between snorting and violently shaking as I tried to hang onto my beer while laughing uncontrollably and keeping one arm around Sway.

I don’t think I’d ever danced this much in my life or laughed at how ridiculous our families were when drunk together. One thing was true: our families were one in the same.

My legs were starting to feel weak when Spencer approached us.

I’m not sure what was more entertaining to me, him trying to stand on his own two feet, or me.

“Enough for fuck’s sake,” Spencer said as he strode up to cut in. “Let me dance with her. This could be my last chance to tease her before this baby pops out, and I have to watch my mouth around it.”

Alley slapped him on the shoulder. “You don’t watch your mouth around Lane....”

“He’s used to it,” Spencer replied with a shrug, reaching for Sway.

With a kiss on her cheek, I let Spencer take his turn, but with warning. “Keep your hands to yourself, asshole,” I said before walking past them.

I noticed that Tate and Bobby were standing off to the side of the dance floor and didn’t mind the idea of a few minutes with them.

It was another hour or so before I was able to excuse myself from talking to find Sway again. Everyone wanted to congratulate me on the win when all I wanted to do was focus on Sway. Today was for her, and she deserved my undivided attention.

When I walked toward her, I caught a glimpse of who she was dancing with and immediately resorted back to my caveman tendencies.

I wanted to kill him and I wanted to know who the fuck invited him.

Emma and Spencer were beside me before I could make a scene—I assumed I had that look to me.

“Whoa there, calm down,” Spencer urged, standing in front of me. “They are only dancing.”

“I don’t give a fuck,” I snapped, glaring at Emma. She probably fucking invited him. “Why was he invited?”

She gave me this look that was in between stupid and annoyed. “There was a time when you were friends with him.”

That was true, but ever since Spencer’s wedding night, I didn’t care to see him ever again.

“I don’t care. You shouldn’t have invited him.” I pushed past Spencer, only to be caught by my mom.

“Jameson, you make a scene on this perfect day for Sway, and I will kill you. My son or not, I will murder my own son.”

I flashed a smile. She continued to glare. “I’m only going over there to dance with my wife again.”

Sway’s face was pure panic when she saw me approach them. I stopped a foot shy and tapped on his left shoulder. “Pardon me, Cooper—I’d like to dance with my wife, again.” I nearly spat the word wife in his face.

“Oh, sure... sorry about that,” he apologized with a nervous chuckle. “Congratulations on the championship, man. I knew you’d pull it off.”

Yeah, sure you did.

“Thanks,” I muttered, clutching Sway to my chest tightly, relaxing into the feel of her soft body in my arms.

Cooper stepped away after that, and I focused all my attention on Sway, where it belonged.

“Sorry about that,” she whispered after a moment of silence. 

“Don’t be.” I leaned down to kiss her forehead.

“I feel like fucking Shamu doing tricks at SeaWorld.” She laughed. “Do you want to toss me a fish? I bet I could catch it.”

I chuckled at her joke, my mood returning and pulled back to look into her eyes.

Leaning down, I brushed my lips over hers, the kiss building, gently but we both felt where it could go.

Despite everyone around us, I could hear Emma calling out for Sway.

Standing on her tippy toes, she tried to kiss me again but Emma was tugging on her. Giving me one last look, over what could have been panic that I was letting her go with Emma.

“Good luck controlling yourself tonight,” Spencer teased. He and Alley had been dancing right next to us.

“I swear to God... if you say penetration... I will kill you,” I threatened.

Alley stepped in as Spencer smiled. “Spencer, knock it off.” She rolled her eyes at me. “Jesus, you looked stupid. Wipe that lipstick off your face.”

With a smirk, I pulled a handkerchief out of my pocket to wipe it off.

As I turned my head, I noticed Charlie was waiting for me off to the side.  

I watched him for a minute, his chocolate hair cut short now, a glass of whiskey in his hand and I knew what he wanted to say, and braced myself to let him say it.

To be honest with you, we hadn’t really had a talk since I asked to marry his daughter.

“Hey, kid...” he began, after a somewhat obstinate pause. Taking another drink from his glass, he smiled. “I just want to say that I’m glad she has you. It’s hard to give her away, you know? She’s my baby. I won’t be around much longer and I’m,” his expression took on a distant gaze, “relieved to know that my only daughter is happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for her, and I know that she is. Sway loves you, and I can see how much you love her.” He smiled. “So... welcome to the family son. If Rachel was still alive I know she would have loved you, and I’m sure she’d say the same. And, I’m not sure why, but Andrea adores you.”

“Uh, thanks.” I laughed. “That means a lot.”

“I can’t thank you enough for what you...” he paused, and I knew what he was about to say. I think he also knew not to actually say his name around me, “did to... just, thank you. I know you’ll take care of her. She’ll always be my little girl. So I’m entrusting her to your care now. Don’t fuck it up. Understand?”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” I told him with confidence. “I will take care of her.”

I could see tears glistening in his eyes, and looked away. And then to my surprise, he yanked me into a tight hug and then pulled away. “It was an amazing thing watching you battle these last few months and even greater seeing you holding that championship trophy as a rookie. I’m proud of you, son.”

“Thanks, Dad.” We both smiled.

He smiled, hearing me call him Dad. He seemed emotional and I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable. “Um—sorry, Charlie, but I think I had better go change. Emma is all kinds of uptight today. Don’t want to piss her off and ruin the schedule.”

“Wouldn’t want that.” He laughed.

I smiled and headed for the bathroom to get out of this tux.

I had barely finished changing when I heard Emma yelling for me. When she appeared, Sway once again took my breath away.

No longer in her wedding dress she was wearing a silk jersey wrap dress in violet. Her hair, loose and wild like I liked it but it was her smile that caught my eye. So content and sure of what we just did.

A lifetime together, I thought to myself.

Reaching for her hand, she came toward me. The crowd parted to let us through the doors.

I wrapped an arm around Sway’s waist. “You ready?”

“I am,” she replied simply, confidently. “You?”

“Yep,” I answered with a soft groan against the side of her head.

We paused for effect at the door and I kissed her. That’s when the shower of rice followed us to the carriage. Spencer doing his best to make sure it hit me right in the eye.

It was beautiful outside, the sun had set and the snow continued to fall. The trees that lined the pathway to the carriage were lit up with thousands of white Christmas lights.

The only problem with this whole scenario with the carriage was that no one thought it would be snowing. Washington didn’t see snow all that often, so for it to be snowing on our wedding day was not planned for.

Sway was ecstatic when she saw the snow. How she didn’t notice it was snowing earlier was beyond me, but I had to laugh as her wide eyes took in the serene views.

We paused in front of the carriage, agreeing it wouldn’t work, when Sway took my face in her hands. I smiled down at her. “Would it be totally inappropriate of us if we did a snow angel right now?”

“No, no,” I told her, motioning toward the snow. “Snow angel away.”

So we did the most inappropriate thing you could do in wedding attire. We made snow angels.

“I love you, honey,” I told her leaning in for a kiss, snow falling against her angelic face.

She smiled back at me, but didn’t say anything as though her eyes were flashing with memories. “You should, I’m carrying your child.”

I laughed against her lips. “Thank you.”

Sway shivered. “Yeah... you’re welcome, but my ass is getting cold. Let’s go.”