Ashley

“Wait, what do you mean I’m moving out?” I blurt out.

That was the first thing I could manage to say when my father told me what was going to happen. I had just come home from walking my friend Antonette’s seven devil dogs when I found my daddy in the kitchen with the newspaper. The second I stepped inside the house, he apologized for his insensitive behavior the past couple days. He explained that with the stress from the Bears he had snapped. On top of that, we were still upping our security measures so that we could prevent any more of our supply from magically disappearing.

We finally started to talk about it. How much hate we had for the Bears, if he heard any news from our allies. My father didn’t want me to know too much about club politics, but that was horseshit. I’m his daughter, of course I’m going to know how the club runs – what to do, what not to do, etc. He’d reached out to some of the smaller clubs in Montana to get their opinions on hunting these Bears. If he asked me, the Bears had been a problem for far too long. Every other club in Montana respected my father, but Grizzly, no…he constantly challenged my father.

Montana may have been a big state to some, but it was a small world for us. News travels fast and if one club was targeted, it wouldn’t be long before others were involved. My father reluctantly admitted to a few trusted Prez’s about our drug supply being shorted, about it disappearing from the safehouses. No one had been affected directly from other clubs although there were signs going around that two others were missing some of their supplies as well, only in their cases it wasn’t drugs, it was guns. It was concerning to know that in total there were three clubs who were having supplies go missing, I don’t know which was worse – having some of our drugs nixed or having guns stolen. This was cause for alarm with the other Prez’s as well. I knew my father was going through a lot, but until today that didn’t really resonate with me. When I could understand, I finally gave him my forgiveness. However, that didn’t stop him from persistently pushing my buttons. 

I couldn’t even stay in my seat when he told me that I was being forced out of my home. My childhood home. I darted up and paced the kitchen with my arms crossed in front of my chest with only one word escaping me: unbelievable.

“Blackjack and I talked, sweetheart” He continues slowly, averting his eyes from me. “We both that you should move in together.”

“You’re doing this again.” I shake my head, pushing my hair out of my face with frustration. “You both are agreeing on something I have no say in. I thought we were going to put a stop to all this?” The events in the last few weeks have bothered me to no avail. I was frustrated and almost to my breaking point. Yes, I owe these men a lot. They helped nurse me back to life, back to the old Ashley that I thought was long gone but that didn’t give anyone the right to keep making decisions for me.

“Ashley…” He mutters aloud.

I put my hands on my hips, biting the inside of my cheek. “Be honest with me, Dad.”

“Always.” He leans forward in his chair and I give him a long stare.

“Are you trying to protect me or control me?”

My father’s eyes widened in surprise but the hurt on his face was evident. I didn’t know what to say when it came to these types of situations. It didn’t matter whether my father meant well, I wanted him to know that I was more than determined to have a life where I didn’t feel trapped, if that was by an abusive husband or a controlling father – it didn’t matter. I didn’t want to constantly depend on him and the club for protection like some sort of victim. Even I have to say that I’m more than that. I can be strong too.

“I’m not just doing this to protect you, Ashley.” He finally admits. “I’m doing this, so I know you can finally be happy.”

“Oh, Dad” I let out a sigh and walk over to him. My hand reached out to his and I gave him a good squeeze. “I am happy – happy that I’m finally home, back here with you.”

“You know what I mean, sweetheart.” He chuckles and shakes his head. “I’m not going to be around forever, you know.”

“Which is why I should be spending the rest of my days with you.” I argue.

“No, darling. That’s where I draw the line.” There was a twinkle in his eye when he smiled at me.

“I know Blackjack will take care of you. The two of you were meant for each other from the very start, goddamn it. Tell me something, will you?”

“Anything”

“Did you really think I never knew?”

“Knew what?” I inquired.

“Oh sweetie. You aren’t that dumb. I’m talking about you and Blackjack. And don’t give me some bologna that you don’t know what I’m talking about. I saw you kiss him that night, shit, I saw the way you always looked at him and knew I was in for trouble. I was going to kill him for even touching you, I had it all mapped out in my head and then two days later he was gone.” My Dad shut his eyes, opening them slowly to look at me. “I hated what that did to you. You were heartbroken when he left, but I understood why. He was too old for you, and you were surely too young for him, but I was never a dumb man little girl. You two were always gonna be somethin’” It felt like everyone knew one way or another that the two of us always were meant for each other, even my dear old Dad.

“He’s a good man.” Was all that could come out of my mouth. 

“I know he is.” I couldn’t help but smirk at my father’s words.

“Then won’t you do your Dad this favor?” He insists, taking my hand in both his palms. “Just be happy with him. I know you two have wanted each other for years, I saw that with my very own eyes. I know the circumstances surrounding this…union…aren’t what either of you wanted. I could imagine that you’d want this on your own terms, but life doesn’t always give us what we want darling.”

“Fine, but you have to answer one last question for me.”

He nods, waiting patiently for once.

“Was this your idea or Blackjacks?” I demanded to know.

I watched him as his lips purse at the question before he stroked his beard slowly. He was obviously contemplating on how to answer.

“A little bit of both.” He admits, laughing.

“Daddy!”

“But most of it was all on Blackjack!” He chuckles.

“What do you mean most of it?” I ask skeptically.

His shoulders rose up to his ears and he shrugs. “That’s up for him to tell you.”

“And where do you think you’re going?” He asks, eyes following me as I searched the counter for my wallet and car keys.

“Out.” I announce once I left the kitchen.

“Out where?”

As soon as I followed through the hallway by the stairs, I found my wallet and keys waiting at the end table where I’d left them from the walk. I snatched the two and pulled off my little frayed bag from the coat hanger to shove them inside.

“Out to find my fiancée.” I respond sardonically and start to the door.

The kitchen fills up with his bark of a laugh. “That’s something I didn’t think I’d hear ever again!”

I exited the front door of my childhood home and trekked across the field to walk to the clubhouse. All I could do was think about the circumstances surrounding my life, Blackjack was my new rock in this cruel world and maybe that would help me move on from these terrible memories. For the time being however, I just didn’t know how we were going to make this sudden move work. Would we move into his place or would it be his house at the club, or would we start anew and find a fresh start in a new home?

What I should’ve been asking was how his son was going to react to all of this. Dex and I hadn’t even spoken once since I came back home which was strange enough.

I’d have to set aside that awkwardness just for once and talk to him about the whole thing. I was going to be his step-mother after all…I remember babysitting the boy when he was five, and with these years that went by…I’m sure he’s changed a lot. Lord knows I have.

I made a mental note in the back of my head to stop beating around the bush and talk to Dex. As I made my way through the clubhouse doors I could feel the cool AC hit my face like a refreshing day dream. I nearly forgot just how hot it was outside. My eyes scanned the bar tops for Blackjack or any familiar faces that might’ve crossed paths with him during the day––but I couldn’t find him at all. Most of the guys who were here had been drinking for quite a while.

Along the corner of the bar was a boy that looked years too young to be sitting on the stool. We were a lot of things, but we never allowed kids to sit at the bar. Sure, they’d be around when we had club family events, but I thought it was interesting that there was a random kid here with no parent within reach. I approached the bar slowly with my eyes focused on Havoc, the bartender preparing what could’ve been the seventh whiskey on the rocks for the afternoon. If anyone might’ve seen Blackjack during the day, it was likely that Havoc could’ve spotted him during his shift. I pulled myself up to one of the stools at the counter and leaned forward in my seat when he noticed me at last.

I put up a hand and waved, saying his first name. “Hey, Edd.”

“Well, if it isn’t the liquor cabinet thief.” He snorts before snaking his hand behind him to take a rag for the counters, “Come to pour out the rest of my tequila?”

“I didn’t drink all of the tequila last week, Eddy.”

He gives me a little smirk. “Sure you didn’t, Ash. Sure.”

I roll my eyes and throw my hair behind my shoulders, “Have you seen Blackjack today, by chance?” He shook his head as he wiped the counters, leaving behind thin trails of water every time he went over the surface.

“Haven’t seen him since…oh gosh.. when was it?” He contemplates aloud, averting his attention to the floor. “You remember, boy?”

“Thursday.” The boy next to me responded. I looked across from me to where the kid sat with his face practically buried in a thick American history textbook. All I could think about was if I was studying American history when I was his age…I don’t remember having textbooks that big!

“Yeah, that was him.” Edd picks up his bald head and continues his wipe down at the bar.

“So, you haven’t seen him since?”

He shakes his head. “Not that I can remember.”

“Thanks.” I mutter lowly before climbing off the barstool.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?”

I took out my phone, checking for the time. It was almost five in the afternoon. “I’m sort of in a rush to find him.” I respond idly.

“What’s your hurry?” He cocks a bushy brow and throws the rag back where he found it. “You guys in a rush to get married already?”

“Jesus, no!” I bat at the counter. “It’s not like that.”

“Then what’s it like, Ash?” Edd grew more curious with that little smile on his face. “You are telling me that you’re getting hitched to this guy with no strings attached?”

“That’s not it either. Have all of you forgotten – I have to get divorced before I can marry him.” I scoff, his humor getting on my nerves.

“Can I have a root beer?” The boy beside me finally speaks up, shifting in his seat.

Edd’s attention falls on the young man and he nods, “Coming right up, boy.”

I cross my arms, waiting for his response with an equipped apology. Edd finally looks up at me, noticing my irritation. “I’m just joking with you, Ash.” He shakes his head before turning his back to me to open the bottom fridge. “You’re a good girl but I never know what’s going on in your head.”

“Well, you should ask the right questions.” I scowl and finally gesture to the boy. “Take this guy for instance. Shouldn’t you be asking him for his ID before letting him sit at the bar?”

Edd turns around slowly with a root beer in his hand before closing the fridge. He looks to me and then back to the kid only to smile even wider than before we began this conversation. A hoarse laugh escapes him and suddenly the bottom of the root beer slaps the counter tops as he clenches his gut, practically guffawing.

“What’s so damn funny now?” I demand to know.

“Oh, sweetheart…” He pants, letting out a low sigh before he finally quit. “You honestly don’t know who’s been sitting next to you this entire time?”

I opened my mouth to say something smart but stopped in my tracks as soon as I turned my head to see who he was even talking about. Then and there, I was staring into the most familiar brown eyes but it didn’t take long for me to recognize they belonged to Blackjack’s son, Dex.