Ashley

Thank God for Crisco.

Over thirty minutes went into making the perfect apple pie from scratch and I wouldn't have been able to do it without the Crisco shortening. I was no good at making crust thin without the pie getting too soft and runny, so I used an extra fourth of all-vegetable on top of the half I already filled in. Double the crust was just how I liked too. This called for extra effort when I spent a good majority of my time flattening the crust with my mother’s spare roller, but it did the trick in making everything nice, smooth, and even. I had to admit it, even I was impressed.

Staying in the kitchen to prep dinner for the guys was something I’d missed back at Harry’s. Back when I was a newlywed bride, I had so much pride in my cooking that I’d jump at the neighbors to join us for dinner. Harry’s excuse not to help was that he’d be working every afternoon up until he joins us for the last hour of dessert until the guests left. Our usual were Ruth and Ned Bunsen, the neighbors from across the street. Just like Harry and I, Ruth and Ned were faced with a choice as to whether they would stay in Texas or move to Ned’s hometown. It was a dedicated romance—one that didn’t burn out easily even if all the sparks that made it happen were gone. Talking to them about their life together had almost made me forget that my life was so dysfunctional.

It caught up to me soon enough, though. I never felt so alone in my life every time they left the house. Harry usually arrived half-drunk and challenged Ned to binge of shots until Ned politely refused. After a couple of jibes and jokes about my cooking, Ned caught on that Harry wasn’t alright and something was going on. Things got physical, I accidentally tore a gaping hole in the sleeve of my blouse. To this day, I could never forget the look on their faces when they saw the bruises on my arm that night. Whether they judged me or not, the spell was broken, and it hit me right then and there. It was impossible to fix this marriage to come close to perfect as theirs.

It didn’t matter now. I refuse to let my past impair me from fixing myself back up. Returning to my family made me sure of that. If it hadn’t been for my father and my brothers, I don’t know what I would’ve done after losing the baby. And despite all that, I owe most of my regained support to Blackjack. He really pulled through for me which is why I invited him to join us for dinner. Although I can say I’m determined to win everyone over with my apple cinnamon pie, I can’t deny that I’m nervous to see him face to face again. We have so much to talk about. I’ve been thinking about it a lot over the past few days and after dinner he and I are going to have a much-needed conversation. After all, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

In this case, the way called for the best ingredients: All-purpose flour, a little pinch of salt, Crisco naturally, cinnamon, nutmeg, margarine, and the town’s famous tart apples. What it didn’t call for, however, was a slam of the door that nearly made me drop my bowl of filling.

“Jesus!” I yelp.

“Ashley!” He barked at the kitchen entrance. “Where are you, sweetheart?”

He swaggers inside, the pressure of his boots causing the floors to creak beneath us.

“Dad!” I hiss, waving a wooden spoon at him, “You nearly scared me out of my skin! What is going on with y––!?”

Following my father were my two brothers, both happening to be wearing the sternest expressions I’d ever seen them carrying. They stumbled inside with Zane still clutching the door till his knuckles went white. His eyes were filled with so much anger that I couldn’t possibly understand. I just knew one thing, whatever this was, it wasn’t good.

“Ash...thank God.” Kade takes his mouth in his hand, shaking his head. “We didn’t know where you were.”

“What do you mean? I’ve been here the entire time.” I furrow my brows, confused.

“You weren’t here this morning, darling.” My father steps forward, putting his hands on my shoulders. “We thought you left the club around the time they...”

He stops dead in his tracks, mouth unable to utter the remaining words. The same concern that Zane wore on his expression was now filling up my Dad’s entire face. Panic struck in my gut and I knew that whatever was going on had to have been serious. A Prez never shows weakness, not even my own father.

“Slow down.” I take his wrists, coaxing him to breathe.

“You don’t understand, baby.” He purses his lips, eyes growing dark. “They were at the entrance gate. Like they were waiting for you to come to them.”

I close my eyes, unable for the life of me to understand how this was happening so fast.

“Baby, just tell me.” His voice insists, “Where were you?”

“I went to the farmers market this morning to pick up some things for dinner.” I explain, pulling his hands down from my shoulders.

My eyes found his, sureness come back to me.

“When I came back, there was no one at the gates. The prospect let me in and that was that.”

“Jesus…” Kade sighs.

My father’s expression stills for a moment, trying to absorb all the information in chronological order. At last, his shoulders fall to a slump and he exhales slowly. Over his shoulders, I saw my brothers still carrying such unsure expressions. It was almost as if their conscience was shaken by an angry dog that caught them by surprise.

It was unavoidable however. The Bears had caught us by surprise in more ways than one and we hadn’t made our next move yet. There was still so much to do before we could finally strike back.

“I’ve had enough.” My father mutters under his breath.

My eyes return to him, puzzled.

“What?”

“Ash.” He gives me a look before taking my hand tightly. “We’re having church, right now.”

Before I could even respond, the twins were already starting out the door. A pull to my hand sent me forward and we all left the house as if dinner could wait till the next day. Down the patio stairs, we were holding ourselves together in the rush. My father pulled me so fast that I had to jump off the stairs to avoid tripping. When our feet met the pathway, we were on the move and I had to speak out.

“I don’t understand, Dad!”

“You will soon enough, sweetheart.” He assures me without even looking back.

“Soon enough isn’t enough! I protest, my voice losing its breath. “Tell me what the hell is going on!”

“We’re going to take care of you, Ashley.” Zane hollers behind his shoulder.

“What?” I blurt out.

They were going to what? Take care of me? Take care of what exactly!

There was no room for questions. The twins were ahead of us and the shadows were growing more apparent in the lines of the overgrown path. Every beat of my pulse was crashing into my chest and it wouldn’t leave even if I tried to swallow down my doubt. I had to be strong no matter what.

When I looked down at the club I almost gasped. I have never, in all my life seen this many bikes here. There had to be a hundred at least, and that’s not including all the trucks I see parked in the fields either. A few of them were still running with their headlights on as men stood beside them. Every light in sight made the club look like a beast with many eyes glowing in the darkness––a reclusive tarantula under the sanctuary of the moon.

I looked up as we reached the club’s front entrance. When we were in plain sight, the men guarding the bikes became more apparent to me and I could feel my breath start to hitch up to the back of my throat.

“Shit..” I curse under my breath.

Every single stray man surrounding the club was carrying an assault rifle strapped to their shoulders. They weren’t looking out for their bikes tonight. They were on duty to stand command like an army stands for a nation. I looked up to the back of my father’s head, fear pulling me closer to his footsteps.

There was no denying it; we were on full-lockdown.

“Evening, Prez” One of the men greeted from the shadows.

I recognized that voice.

“Zoro.” My father nodded, slowing down his tread as we stopped at the entrance. “How are we doing on our numbers.”

Zoro, Road Captain of the Reaper’s, swept his fingers through his jet-black hair before stepping off the wall to come into the light. His rugged expression was just as I remembered––smug with sheer dumb luck that he’d been born with such a good face. He had a jawline for days with a five-o-clock shadow. Every time he stepped into the club, the club whores could practically catch a whiff his cologne on spot. He carried a lot of cash, a lot of attitude, and a hell of a tongue. Nothing was sacred to him. The man knew how to sweet talk his way between a woman’s legs even if she were a signature Saint Mary.

Which is why I made it clear I wasn’t interested the second he had his eyes on me.

“Looking good, Prez.” He takes his belt in both hands, giving a nod my way. “Good to see you too, Ashley.”

I snorted before drawing my attention back to my father.

“Whatever this is, I’m not looking forward to it.”

The aggravation was making me squeeze my fists so tight that I could practically feel the sting of my nails digging into my flesh. I was growing sick of this secretive game playing between the Reapers and the Bears. They call it war, but I dubbed it a new name, “Playing Charades with Ashley”.

I gathered my wits and clenched them in my fist before walking ahead of my father to join the twins. We lumbered inside the club until we walked towards the doors that held church. When I walked through the doors I noticed how almost every seat in the room was full.

Even though this was a private meeting, usually only with the head officers of the club, I couldn’t help but feel as if I was being watched by everyone. Now, more than ever, it was evident that each step I made from this conflict was going to be watched by either my father and everyone within the Reapers MC.

Zane and Kade refused to look at me in the meantime as I settled into my seat. My eyes were left to wander between men filling up the room, each of their faces grimmer than the man beside them. I tried not to stare for too long in my attempt to understand the reason for this sudden summoning into church. Their eyes followed my father’s footsteps up to his seat and there he was, taking the gavel in his hand. He was ready to start the meeting. Was I?

The gavel hit the wood hard and every man shut his mouth fast. There was a steep pause in the air before it was briefly ended by my father’s thunder of a voice. “Welcome, everyone.”

The men nodded, responding to him in humble acknowledgement. Without warning, my father's eyes turn away from his men and find me. Confused, I was left petrified in my seat until Kade gently nudged my side.

“Go to him” He mutters softly.

I look to him and register what he says before gathering myself back up from my seat with a shallow creak from my chair. As I walked up to where he’s seated, the eyes returned to me and dug into the shoulder blades of my back. It made every muscle in my body tense up the way a lamb would react to a pack of wolves. However, I was no lamb and I forced my body to believe it. And after all, these were no pack of wolves – this was my family.

Once I was alongside my father, I looked up to the men before him.

Zane and Kade were exactly where I left them in their seats. Beside them was Dixon and Zoro, two faces I rarely saw together in the same room. They have had disagreements in the past based on their taste in women but that was beside the point. They weren’t the only men watching us at the head of the table. Even Roach of all people had made it into church – I’m wondering why in the hell he’s even in here. Beside him there was Ericson, Owen, Sean, and Levi from the squad as well as my uncles Cracker and Tex who sat second closest to my father. The one person sitting beside him was someone I hadn’t expected to see so early in the night.

Blackjack.

“Gentlemen, there’s no denying that what happened today took us all by surprise.” My Dad starts, watching his men by the whites of their eyes. “Grizzly came to our gates with his pack of Bears, waiting for our girl––my daughter––to be handed over like some sacrificial ram.”

The men had sunk into a pit of silence, waiting for him to continue.

“Did they honestly think it’d be that easy?” Fist shook his head and the humor in his voice returned. The Reapers chuckled together in unison––all except for Blackjack.

“No, it wasn’t,” My father continues, “…but that didn’t stop them from challenging us yet again.”

A tightness formed in the pit of my stomach and I looked away from the men for a moment to observe my father deliver his words. “Ashley, you were lucky enough not to have been branded at the day of your marriage.” Being branded was a years old MC tradition. I’m surprised that this is even coming up right now because when I married Harry it was a civil union. Why is he bringing a branding up?

“Naturally.” I respond without hesitation.

“However, this leaves you with only one option.”

“And that is?” I press him.

“The brand means more than some damn marriage certificate you and Harry signed” He emphasizes.

“I understand that Dad but what are you getting at?”

“We can’t lose you again, Ash… I won’t lose you again.” He insists, voice growing louder.

My voice stops in its tracks, waiting for him to elaborate. When he doesn’t, I was forced to take it upon myself to understand him even if I didn’t want to.

At first, I felt shock, then slowly my shock went to full on rage. My blood was boiling, here I stand, before my father – before my brothers – before my club and yet again, I am being treated like I can’t make decisions for myself.

“No…” I whisper. With a shake of my head, I backed away from his seat.

“Ash.” He coaxes, holding his hand out to me.

“No! I refuse to let this happen to me, like I’m some…fair maiden from the 1700’s! I’m not something you can just marry off! I’m a person!”

“We have no choice, Ashley!” Cracker stands up from his seat.

My feet halt to a stop and I snapped in that instant.

“The hell you don’t!” I spat, throwing my hands up in frustration. “This has nothing to do with you all. You’re talking about marrying me off without my consent, about….about branding me like one of the cattle we have! This is not going to happen.”

“Ashley, calm the hell down.” My father utters lowly.

“Calm the hell down” I repeat back to him, shaking my head, the tears already building at the corners of my eyes. “I will not calm down. I know I’ve made a lot of bad choices. I’ve done some messed up things, I let you down, I let…” I immediately look over to Blackjack, seeing the emotion washing over his face. I shake my head and turn back to my father, “I’ve already suffered enough with one marriage. I refuse to let this one buy my freedom!”

“Quiet yourself down, girl!” He roared all at once, his voice shaking through the entire room.

Everyone grew quiet and my skin was ripped away from its warmth. A cold like tension fell upon us and I was left to look down to the floor with my arms wrapped around me, speechless. This… All of this was so mind numbing that I couldn’t even begin to speak again.

“Now...” He clears his throat, finding his way to take control of the room. “All of you have been selected as options for my baby girl. Specifically, Zane and Kade.”

I blinked in disbelief as I saw Kade and Zane both sit up in their seats at my father’s attention.

“The two of you have been adopted into my family and have sworn to protect your sister at all costs. To save time and Ashley’s wits, will either of you step up to claim her as yours.” Zane looked to his brother as they both exchanged thoughts passively to one another. I couldn’t believe they were considering it. After some time, they finally met Fist’s gaze and Kade opened his mouth to speak––

“I’m not marrying either of them.” I interrupt suddenly.

My father broke his icy gaze to stare me down in contemplation.

“And why the hell not.” He demands.

I bit the inside of my cheek hard, forcing myself to look him in the eye.

“They’re my brothers” I deadpan.

“Oh, that is horseshit!” Fist barks back.

“Would you just listen to me!”

“Why should I!” He throws his hands up in the air furiously, “Your brothers have absolutely no blood relationship to you. They’ve sworn their faith, loyalty, and their absolute integrity to bring this family it’s pride! You’ve been raised no different and, yet you got married to some sonofabitch with a mouth and left the safety of home!”

“Dad…” I quip, unable to keep the tears from running down my cheeks.

“So, help me, Ash… I will hold you down and have that tattoo artist brand you TODAY”

I could only shake my head, trying to hold my thoughts together. Everything was spiraling out of control and it was beyond anything I was prepared for. Control was but a word that was one phrase away from slipping out of my fingers. Just how did he expect me to hand myself over to marriage so easily. How did any of them expect for me to put trust in them after what I’ve been through.

“Dear, God…” I mutter to myself, praying for the moment to cease. “There has to be another way...”

“There isn’t.” My uncle Tex insists. “They want proof of your brand otherwise the jig is up, darling. If they call us out as liars, they can just as easily force you out.”

“It’s for your own good.” Dad lamented to me. “We do this today.”

“I just...” I quip before my voice cracks.

“Can I just stop you guys right here?” Dixon interrupts us both.

My father turns his attention back to him, crossing his arms against his chest.

“What is it now, smart ass?”

Dixon held his hands up, innocent as ever.

“I have been out for a while, but I’d like to mention that I’m currently spoken for. If my little lady even knew what this thing was about, she’d be out for your hide, Prez.”

Cracker couldn’t help but chuckle at the spark of good news. Hearing that from Dixon made Dad shake his head while muttering something to himself.

“Get yourself back home, boy.” Cracker comes around to pat Dixon on the back before sending him off to the doors.

“Will do. I’ll let the Missus’ know you boys say hello.” Dixon gives us all a nod before turning his head back to me. “I’m sorry you’re going through this, Ash. Any one of these men would be lucky to have you but you need to decide on what’s truly best for you. Only you’d know.”

He was right. At this point, it was too late to turn back. Dixon had left us with the same opened can of worms and the thought of this arrangement going by so fast without a finger of control was making me sick to my stomach. The lot of them had me blindsided without even a day to process my options. The one alternative that I would never accept was returning to Harry and his goons. I wouldn’t even dare to mention Zane or Kade meeting me down the aisle (regardless of all the crazy shit we’ve been through). Eric, Owen, and the rest of the brothers were people that I barely even knew, and it didn’t seem right getting hitched to another man I didn’t know. I’d rather kill Roach than ever consider branding his name on my skin, so help me God.

Zoro, was known for being a complete freak in bed and I didn’t like the idea of waking up to him. From all the rumors his women mentioned about him, there wasn’t one that made me warm up to his character in the slightest. Even now as I glanced at him for a second, I could just barely pick up the little flick his tongue made at me.

With a grimace, I held myself close as my arms tightened around me whole.

“How can you expect me to just pick someone?”

My father throws his hands up, exasperated. “Kiddo, just pick one of the twins. You’ve known them longest and they’ll be damned if they don’t take care of you.”

“I’m not picking either of them” I fought back before facing them. “Zane, Kade, you know you mean the world to me. Which is why you deserve to marry yourselves off to girls you actually like.”

“Shucks, Ash, don’t get all sappy on us already.” Kade pipes up.

I rolled my eyes.

“I’m serious! Don’t be like me and marry someone so easily. Do it for love. Both of you!”

“Ashley…” Zane mutters, wincing at my mention.

“I’m getting too old for this shit either way. If Harry wants to get me, he’ll have to fight me tooth and nail to pry me out of here.” I counter, locking eyes with my father.

“It’s not that easy, darling.” He scratches the back of his neck. “We need time to bade them off. If they take you––”

“Enough.” Blackjack finally speaks, the rest of us going silent.

The breath in my lungs went still as I watched him rise from his seat, the chair screeching underneath him as he did. My Dad draws his attention from me to the man that was now walking his way up to the head of the table. The closer he came to us, the more I could feel myself shrink up in disbelief.

As Blackjack approached my father, he gave him a look of acknowledgement that he needed to take the room. Dad took a moment to observe him by the feat of his expression.

“Brothers,” He starts, “You’ve taken me in as your own when I had nowhere to go. You’ve been here for me every day that I’ve needed you, and not just when I’ve needed you – but when Dex has too. You are truly family to me, and to my boy.”

The room goes silent, every one of us watching Blackjack.

“Ashley.” Blackjack lifts his eyes up to meet mine.

My breath hitches up to the back of my throat as I force myself to nod.

“To this day, I want it to be known that I have every claim on you and swear that I will do everything in as well as beyond my power to protect you till the day I die. Do you understand?”

At this point, I could only nod.  Was this truly happening? I looked to my father – the man who I’d expected to scream and shout, telling Blackjack no. Instead…well instead the unexpected happened,

“Perfect.” Fist mutters under his breath before pinching the bridge of his nose, “Now get the fuck out of here and don’t come back until she’s got your name on her skin.”