Honey

Seeing Jake at eye level, soothing his daughter’s fears in his calm voice, made me fall a little harder for him. Good thing I wasn’t in love with him yet or I wouldn’t be able to handle the crushing blow he was bound to give me when he realized his mistake.

We’d crossed the line again. After dressing, I’d scurried out of his room, quiet as a mouse, only briefly pausing at his daughter’s open door.

I kept going—something about spiders made me move faster, even if I wasn’t deathly afraid of them. That honor was reserved for snakes. I shivered, catching sight of Ford coming in from the back. I shut my door, afraid he’d see the guilt in my eyes and call me out for sleeping with his son. He wasn’t a man to hold back on what he thought.

I made a beeline for my bathroom, grateful again it was private and attached to my room. I peeled out of my clothes for the second time that night and stepped in the shower. Now I was alone. The water was warm, but not as hot as Jake. He consumed my every thought. I hadn’t made a wise decision. Sleeping with him again would only make things harder when he put the brakes on a relationship between us. He’d made it clear that first day I’d shown up for the job where the line was drawn. He was the boss and I was his employee.

Though he’d slipped, my mother had drilled it into my head that men were prone to make such mistakes. According to her, they acted with their dicks and occasionally thought about their actions later.

My phone rang. I didn’t jump out of the shower to answer. Only a few people had my number—my bestie, my mom, and my grandmother.

I got out and was disappointed that Jake hadn’t come looking for me. Though I shouldn’t have been surprised. He was probably glad he hadn’t had to give me the this was a mistake, it can’t happen again speech.

After shrugging into sleepwear, I picked up my phone and dialed back my best friend.

“Ashley,” I said.

“Honey, I haven’t heard from you. How did it go? I assume good because you haven’t come back.”

I’d lived with her the past few months.

“Good. I like the job.”

“Oh, great news.” Ashley had a big heart and I knew she was truly happy for me. “I have news too.”

I didn’t doubt that she was bouncing up and down given the excitement in her voice.

“What?”

“Chris is moving in.”

Chris was Ashley’s longtime boyfriend. They’d been heading in the direction of cohabitation for some time. No doubt my crashing at her place had held things off.

“Honey,” Ashley said. I’d taken too long to respond. “You can still move back if you need to. It’s not like Chris is going to use the extra bedroom.”

“That’s sweet of you, but I’m good.”

“I’m serious,” she added. “With your mom moved out of state and your grandmother in that retirement community, you are always welcome here.”

“Thanks, Ashley.”

We talked a bit more. Ashley and Chris were going to get new furniture, not to mention she hoped he would pop the question soon.

Melancholy settled in as I hung up the phone. I was happy for her, but I was reminded how alone I felt. If not for this job, I would be homeless. No way was I going to be the third wheel in her apartment. I could always go live with Mom.

That prospect wasn’t appealing. Once I’d graduated from high school, Mom moved with her husband and my six-year-old half-brother to live closer to my stepdad’s ailing parents.

After Dad died, I’d become the odd man out in my mom’s new family. I was also all my dad’s mom had left. So, I’d moved in with her and went through nursing school. This past year, she’d gotten an offer she couldn’t refuse on her house. She’d wanted to move to the retirement community, and outside of extreme and temporary circumstances, nonretired people weren’t allowed to live there.

She would’ve been willing to stay in her house for me, but I wasn’t that selfish. I’d temporarily moved in with Ashley, just until I could find a place.

And now, here I was, on the edge of doing something stupid that could cost me my job because I couldn’t keep my hormones in check.

Sexy as Jake was, I would forget our night together and stick to my duties. I needed this job more than I needed Jake.

I awoke to the sound of the ranch hands moving about in the early light. The night before I’d fallen asleep early on top of my covers.

I didn’t feel tired enough to go back to bed, so I got up to get ready for the day. I was making a southern breakfast of grits, bacon, biscuits and gravy, and eggs when Jake came in.

“Can I talk to you?” he asked.

I wanted to say no, but the food was basically ready. Reluctantly, I nodded and followed him to the short hall that led to my room and the back door.

“About last night …”

Not unexpectedly, he couldn’t finish his words.

“It was a mistake that we won’t repeat,” I said for him.

He ran a rough palm over his thick hair. I remembered shivering as his calloused hands roamed over me. I tightened my thighs, afraid I might spontaneously combust.

“Yeah, right.”

Disappointment filled me. Though they had been my words, his rejection by agreeing with me stung.

I pushed on. “We haven’t really talked about the terms of my employment, but I hope I can have Sundays off.” It was a leap of faith to add that so he wouldn’t consider words like, Maybe it’s best you don’t work here.

“Sundays off is fine. I do the payroll weekly. I can pay you for the last few days if you want, or we can add it on to next week’s.”

“I’m good with either,” I said, way too quickly.

My bank account was operating on fumes and needed a top-up. But I was happy to have a job still.

“All right.”

“Breakfast is done. Help yourself. I’m going to get moving, if you have this covered.”

“I did manage before you arrived.”

I wanted to believe he hadn’t meant to sound mean. Silly me, once again feeling unwanted. I turned quickly, not wanting him to see the shine of tears in my eyes. It wasn’t his fault. Mom had built that wall in me. The fact that she moved on so quickly after Dad died and replaced me with a new family were the building blocks of my insecurity.

“Honey.”

I didn’t want to turn around. He was a temptation off-limits to me. Jacque was a better match for a guy like him. That thought steeled my spine and dried up any unshed tears. I faced him.

“I … um …” He stumbled on whatever he wanted to say. “Thank you.”

Confusion couldn’t describe what I felt. What did he mean by that?