BRETT
I tried not to worry what the doctor was going to tell me, but as I showered, my mind started to think over everything he might say. My biggest fear was that he would tell me that for some odd reason I couldn't be fitted with glass eyes. The last thing I wanted was to go through my life wearing eye patches. The idea of fake eyes freaked me out a bit, and I thought way too much about how unnatural they would look, but it was still better than the patches. At least with glass eyes, people wouldn't notice unless they were close to me. The patches people could see from across the room.
"Stop worrying. Everything is going to be fine," Bayne called from the other side of the shower door.
"I'm trying. I'm just nervous. I know it can't get any worse than it already is. There isn't a ton that they can do for me other than fit me with prosthetic eyes, but I guess it's just the sense of finality. Once I see this doctor, then I have to face the blindness. Up until now, I could pretend it was just like a passing cold and I'd get my sight back."
A wave of love and compassion hit me through the link I now shared with Bayne. We'd spent the morning sending each other emotions, testing, and playing around with what the link between us could do. It was strange, and I was sure we'd hardly explored the full capabilities of it.
We'd spent the morning making love again, but I was tired. My wolf had slept little, enjoying his time with Bayne's wolf, and that left me drained. I'd refused Bayne's offer to shower with me, sure that we'd be unable to hold back the desire if I felt him naked beside me again. I sent back another wave of love to him as I focused on rinsing the soap from my skin.
"No matter what the doctor says, we're going to be okay. We'll get through this. You've already handled it better than I ever would. I'd still be curled up in a ball on the floor in a panic. You've faced this head on. It'll take time to relearn how to do some things, but you'll do it. We'll do it," Bayne called to me.
I shut off the water and climbed out of the shower before reaching out and searching before finally grabbing a towel off the rack. "I'm glad you said that. I have a favor to ask."
"Anything." Bayne's arms came around me as he stole the towel from my hands and started to work it over my skin.
"I need to shave, but I can't see what I'm doing. You can use an electric razor if you want, I don't care, but I know if I try, I'll miss half my face." I spread my legs as Bayne started to dry them.
"I don't mind at all. You should have said something before."
"We've been focusing on so much, besides, it's only been a few days, but I know how scruffy I look when I don't shave."
"I like you scruffy." Bayne rose up and turned me around so he could dry my back. "You're okay with my beard, aren't you?"
"I love your beard. It's perfect. I just can't grow a full one. There's a spot on my chin that just won't grow hair. Don't you change a thing about you. I know I can't see you, but I try to imagine what you look like. I like feeling your whiskers over my skin."
Bayne turned me to face him again. "I like the feel of your skin against them." He pivoted his hips, making sure I felt his arousal against my thigh.
"Bayne, we don't have time." I leaned in for a short kiss.
"Tonight, I am going to explore every inch of you. Take the time to lick and kiss every spot I didn't get to enjoy last night." He pulled back. "Okay, let's shave you. Do you want to get dressed first or not?"
"I'm okay like this." I willed my own desire down. We really didn't have time for more. We'd slept late, and by the time we'd eaten and played around some more, we only had an hour before we had to meet Cohen and the doctor he'd called to come evaluate me.
"Sit on the toilet lid." Bayne guided me to it.
I sat down, enjoying the intimacy of having my mate shave me. It was something we probably would have never done if not for my blindness. I would never think of being blind as a blessing, but I liked we would have to do things differently than most mates. "I love you."
"I love you too." Bayne kissed me. "Now tip your head back. I'm going to use the hand razor. It will give you a closer shave."
I did as he asked, enjoying the feel of his hands working the shaving cream over my face.
"So, I was thinking that tonight, we could head out to my place. I want to show it to you."
"I want to see it… or um…" I shook my head. "You know what I mean."
"I do. If you don't like it, we can buy another place closer to town, but as nice as it is being here with the pack, I want us to have some time alone. Maybe we can shift and slowly work on running together. I think with our link so strong now, it will be easier for you to sense me and follow my path."
I still had visions of me slamming head-on into a tree, but there was no way I was going to give up a chance to run through the forest with Bayne if I could figure out how to do it safely. "We can try. The link will help, but I'm still not sure I won't trip over everything. I can't deny my wolf his chance to run though. I also want to head into town and try and find that scent I recognized."
"We'll do that. We have to stop for groceries before we head to my place, but we can come back into town and hit the bar and other places you went with Bridger." Bayne started to shave me. "What will you do if you find the scent?"
I bit my lip hard, wondering at the question. My instinct was to kill whoever it was, but I also wanted answers. I needed to know why they did what they did. What made them so angry that they would try to kill me in such a violent way? "I want them brought to justice. I don't know how your pack handles things, but if proven guilty, my old pack would kill them."
"If they are wolf, we will kill them, but if they are human, that will change things. We will have to see who they are, if they know what we are. There are many factors. I promise you, no matter what happens, they will be brought to justice one way or another. I can't imagine this was just a random attack on two wolves, especially since you recognize their scent. I just can't see how any human could know about us, let alone why they would want to kill the way they did. It was torture, as if it was personal." Bayne moved the razor over my cheek.
"They left me to suffer, but killed Bridger, which one of us pissed them off? I mean, I was meant to die. I'm sure of that. I don't think they thought anyone would save me." I hated not knowing.
"We just need to find the answers." Bayne ran a wet cloth over my face. "Okay, done. How does it feel?"
I ran my hand over my face. "Perfect. Thank you. I'd offer to return the favor one day, but I'm betting you don't want a blind man moving a razor over your face."
"No, you're right, but I'll collect payment in other ways later. For now, get dressed. I set clothes on the bed for you, but yell if you need help getting into them."
"Feels wrong to have you dressing me when I would rather you undress with me."
"True, but I promise, once we get to my place clothing will be optional. Kurt and a distant neighbor are the only people who know where I live, and they know to leave a newly mated couple alone."
I was surprised to hear that no one else knew where Bayne lived. I wondered why he kept himself so secluded from everyone. He seemed well liked around the pack house. I was sure in time I'd find out everything about Bayne. There was no reason to push for all the information now. I knew him better than before thanks to the mating link, but there were still things I didn't understand about the link, and it almost felt like I was intruding on him to push too deep and find the answers. It would be best to let him tell me anyway.
I headed out to the bedroom and found the clothes sitting on the end of the bed. It was a bit strange to not know what I was putting on. It was a good thing I trusted my mate or I'd worry he was dressing me in polka dots or some other awful outfit. Again, I thought about how lucky I was to have my mate appear in my life now when I needed him most.
I quickly got dressed before making my way back into the bathroom where Bayne was. "Will you run a brush through my hair for me?"
"Of course." He reached out, turning me to face him. "So, be thinking what you like to eat. We'll stop at the store on the way to my place, but I was thinking, I have no idea what you like or don't like."
"Meat is good, honestly, I'm not that picky. Not a big fan of really spicy foods, but other than that, I'm okay with anything."
"Good, we'll get along great. I can't think of anything other than cooked cabbage I don't like, and that's more the smell than the taste." He kissed my cheek. "Ready to venture out?"
"Yeah, let's get this over with." I hated that I was nervous. There was no point to be. It wasn't like the doctor could do anything. It was a matter of finding out if he could fit me with fake eyes and how long that would take.
"You're staying with me, right?" I asked as he led me out of the room.
"Do you think I'm going to leave you alone in a room with two other wolves? That isn't going to happen. My wolf doesn't handle you not being by my side. Hopefully, this feeling eases or we're going to have to find jobs where we work together." He kissed my cheek as he slowly led me from our room to Cohen's medical room.
"Bayne, Brett, welcome. Come on in." Cohen's voice sent another wave of nervousness through me.
"Thanks." I took a deep breath, finding the scent of another wolf there who I assumed was the doctor.
"This is Mike or Dr. Gordon. He's the ophthalmologist I've told you about." Cohen sounded like he was across the room.
"Hop up." Bayne placed my hand on the exam table.
"Thanks, it's nice to meet you, Dr. Gordon. I appreciate you taking the time to come here." I hopped up on the table, glad when Bayne came to stand behind me and press his hands to my back supportively.
"Call me Mike. Now I hear what you went through was quite violent. It's a blessing you were unconscious for it. The only place that has more nerves than the eyes is the genitals. You would have been in extreme pain had you been awake for it. Even saying that, I hate to think about how you must have felt when you woke before you shifted." He was standing close.
"I hurt everywhere. It was hard to tell what hurt the worst," I admitted.
"Well, if you don't mind me taking a look at how you've healed, then I can get a better idea of what kind of treatments we can do." He touched my knee. "Can I have you lie back? Then I'll remove the patches. You'll feel a bit of probing in and around your eye sockets, but it shouldn't be more than uncomfortable. If it hurts, say something."
I eased back, glad that Bayne was there to see what was going on.
"Perfect, now I'm going to remove the patches." Mike slid them over my head. "Do you have any lingering pain or issues?"
"None." I focused on my link with Bayne, needing to feel him completely as Mike started to press his fingers around the edges of my eye sockets.
"If you were in my office, a lot of this would be done with machines that weren't so intrusive, but it was easier for me to come here for the time being." Mike seemed to be holding my eyelid open with something. The metal was cold against my skin, but there was no pain. "My guess is they used a spoon or some other instrument to force your eyes out, then cut the nerves and muscle that held them in. You've healed nicely thanks to your shifter DNA." He continued to look at one eye, then the other.
"So, he can get glass eyes?" Bayne asked.
"Well, that is one option, but I think we might have another. Usually, I wouldn't try this with this kind of damage, but since you are a shifter, I think it might work." Mike went silent for a moment as he kept working around my eyes.
"What are you trying?" I was nervous, wondering what he was doing.
"Nothing today. Sorry, got distracted. Let me finish looking, then we can talk options." Mike started probing again.
Bayne linked his hand with mine, giving it a tight squeeze.
"While he works, let me be the first to congratulate the two of you. I smell the mating scent is strong. You completed the ritual." Cohen still sounded as if he was across the room.
"We did, last night." Bayne sounded so happy it made my heart feel as if it was swelling.
"He's stuck with me now." I smiled.
"Congratulations. You both deserve this," Cohen told us.
"Did you meet before this happened?" Mike asked.
"No, the night they found and rescued him." Bayne caressed his fingers over mine.
"So, you've never seen your mate?" Mike continued to work.
"No." I pressed my lips together, hating that it mattered as much as it did.
"Well, let's see if we can do something about that." Mike stepped back. "Why don't you sit up?"
I did, still trying to understand what he'd said. "Did you say do something about me not seeing my mate? I mean, my eyes are gone. There's nothing you can do to make me see again since there's nothing there to fix."
"True, I might not be able to help you see your mate through your own eyes, but possibly, and I mean possibly, don't get your hopes up yet, but I think I might help you see him through another's eyes." Mike set something down beside me, causing a clang.
"I don't understand." Bayne gripped my shoulder from behind.
"I'm talking about an optical transplant. One eye, or maybe both. I'd take donor's eyes and surgically implant them, then I'd have you shift. Being a wolf, the shift would hopefully heal everything as if they were your own eyes. I mean, we do this on humans. It's not always successful, but we're getting better at it. I've done several in my career. Being a wolf, the chances of this working I'd say are up around eighty percent or better." Mike sounded as if he was now across the room with Cohen.
I bit my lip, emotion hitting me hard at the thought that I might actually be able to see again. I sniffed as my nose started to run. "I could see?"
Bayne stuffed a tissue into my hand.
"Possibly. As I said, we'd need a donor. The eyes would have to be viable. It's nothing for me to reconnect the vessels and muscle. Shifting would do most of the work in this case. Like any injury, you heal easily. Stuff that would kill most people heals for wolves within a single shift." Mike was by my side again. "Here's more tissue. Your nose runs because of your eyes missing. The tears drain down the sinus cavity."
I shook my head. "You're serious, right? This isn't some joke?" I felt a wave of hope come through my link with Bayne. This would mean so much to both of us. It would make our lives together so much easier.
"I'm serious. Because I'd need you to shift right after the implant, I'd have you awake for the surgery. I'd numb the area, but you'd be fully aware of what is going on. I can't promise it will be successful, but I think it's worth a try. The damage done now isn't as severe as it could have been. I'm hopeful that it would take," Mike told me.
I wiped at my nose, overwhelmed at the thought. "Bayne, what do you think?" I needed to know he'd support this.
"I say try it. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? It doesn't take and you're no worse off than you are now. This is more than either of us dared to imagine. If you have a chance to see, take it." Bayne kissed my cheek.
"Are there any side-effects, things that could go wrong?" I asked.
"No, as Bayne said, you'd be no worse off than you are now. If it didn't work, we'd get you the prosthetic eyes, but I'd like to try this first." Mike sounded as if he'd sat down across from me.
"Cohen, do you have thoughts?" Bayne asked.
"I trust Mike's opinion completely. If he thinks this could work, we should do it. I can either make sure we have only wolves working the surgery if we do it at the hospital, or we can do it here if Mike's comfortable. I'm not sure what he needs."
"Do you have a surgical microscope here?" Mike asked.
"I do," Cohen informed him.
"Then we can do it here. The only issue is I need the eyes viable. There is a short time frame."
"I work at the hospital. I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem. I'd have to look into the procedure for organ procurement, but I can't see this being an issue. There are enough wolves working at the hospital, we can make this happen." Cohen sounded closer. "Do you need size or blood type or any other match?"
"Not since he's a wolf. His body will adapt to whatever we use. I'm sorry I might not be able to match your old eye color." Mike laughed.
"Eye color is the last thing I'm worried about. I'd be so happy to be able to see again. To look at my mate, to see the world again." I leaned back against Bayne, accepting his support as I tried to digest all the information.
"I can stay in town for a couple of weeks. My wife is with me and wants to see the area. While we are sight-seeing, you can call me at any time if you get a donor. We can do the surgery right away. We'll know as soon as you shift to wolf if this will work or not." Mike patted my knee. "I have high hopes we'll have you seeing again in no time."
"Thank you." I offered my hand in the direction he sounded from.
He took my hand. "You're welcome. I'm glad Cohen called me. I'd hate to see you have to go through life never knowing what your mate looks like."
I grinned. "Me too. If even just for a minute…" I took a deep breath. "Cohen, you'll see what we have to do? I hate anyone has to die for me to see, but hopefully, it's someone who's lived a long healthy life."
"That's what I'm hoping as well. I'll start looking as soon as we finish here," Cohen said.
"We're driving out to my house tonight, but you have my number if you need to get a hold of us." Bayne hugged me from behind.
"I'll call the moment I hear any news," Cohen promised.
"While you wait, keep your eyes covered as much as you can. You look as if you've adapted well." Mike sounded like he'd pushed his chair back and stood.
"Thanks, I really appreciate this." I kept hold of Bayne's hand as he came around the table to stand in front of me.
"Let's get these patches back on." He slid them gently over my eyes.
I slid off the table, holding on to Bayne so I didn't crash into anything or anyone. "Thank you again. I hope you get to enjoy your vacation with your wife while you’re here, but I also hope I get to see you very soon."
"In the most literal terms." Mike laughed. "You two have a good evening."
As we walked out of the office, I stayed silent, scared to get my hopes up, but still, it was hard not to hope that one day soon, I'd be able to look Bayne in the eyes when I told him I loved him.