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Blood Choice (Deathless Night Series Book 6) by L.E. Wilson (19)

Chapter 20

Shea watched the muscles flex in Jesse’s back as the dark warlock crouched down to cup his hands in the clear water. They’d been running for hours, following the small creek they’d camped by during the day and yet, he was barely winded. No human she had ever met could run like a vampire or shifter. Not even with vampire blood inside of them. So, why could he? She’d tried to ask him, but he’d just shrugged it off, mumbling something about the powers of dark magic.

Shea let it go. For now. The Forest of Dagobas should be close. Once they found what they were looking for, she would have to face reality. Until then, she’d live in the little fantasy world they’d created by taking this trip together.

She wasn’t looking forward to it—reality. For then she would have to face the raw truth of her situation: she would have to leave her family. There was no getting around it. Luukas would kill her himself before allowing Jesse to be anywhere near him or Keira, and she couldn’t say that she blamed him. And Nikulas and Aiden would hold her down while he did it. She was the weak link now. Jesse’s link. She was how they would take their revenge against him.

But not if Shea succeeded in doing what she’d decided to do. It was her one small thread of hope in this otherwise hopeless situation.

Jesse’s spine suddenly tensed, and she quickly cloaked her thoughts. It was easier to do now that she had some of her strength back. She needed to be careful. If he discovered what she was up to, he would stop her. Shea wasn’t fooled by their mission to save the world. Jesse didn’t want to save the world. He wanted to save himself. And she didn’t have to read his mind to figure that out. He was up to something, and she had the feeling she wasn’t going to like it, so Shea was taking matters into her own hands.

She just needed to keep him convinced that she believed him for a little while longer.

But even knowing what he was, her stomach twisted at the thought of deceiving him, leaving a hollow ache in the middle of her gut. She hated that she had to do this. She didn’t love him, not yet, but she was undeniably drawn to him more than anyone she had ever met before. Even before she’d tasted his blood and knew that he was hers. She wanted to ask him who he was, where he had come from, and the real reason he had gotten mixed up in Leeha’s shenanigans. She longed to understand what made him tick.

But it would be better to keep her distance. He was not a good male. He had no conscience. No empathy for others. He ruined lives without a care, and killed without thought.

Like you are so innocent. You tore off the head of your very own sister.

The memory momentarily sobered her.

No, that was different. Shea had had no choice. Her sister was dead long before Shea took the life from her body. It had been the only way to stop the thing she had become.

Lost in thought, she didn’t notice that Jesse had stopped drinking and was now standing a little too close for comfort, staring at her intently with those eerie, golden eyes. She was so much in her own head that she jumped when he spoke.

“Are you ready to go?”

His gaze was steady, and when Shea met it with her own, the connection between them was like a million threads binding her body and soul to his. They would stretch, but they would never break. Not until one of them was dead.

She nodded her head. “Ready.”

Jesse held a hand out to her, dropping it with an irritated expression when she pointedly crossed her arms over her chest and then walked past him. Little did he know that her own hands were clenched into fists as she fought the urge to place her hand in his. “It smells like rain. We’d better get going.”

“Shea.”

“If I remember correctly, we’re only about an hour away.” She glanced up at the sky, but couldn’t see anything but clouds. However, she didn’t really need to. Her vampire instincts would let her know when it was getting close to sunrise. “We should have just enough time to find the blood and get to shelter if we get a move on it.”

“Shea—”

She exhaled sharply. “We don’t have time, Jesse.”

Snapping his mouth shut with an audible click, he stared at her. She thought he was about to say more, but then he nodded. “You’re right, of course. Let’s go.”

Shea sped up to an easy jog, then a full-out run when she heard Jesse’s light footsteps behind her. They ran the rest of the way in silence, other than the soft sounds of their footfalls. Shea concentrated on her breathing to keep herself from obsessing about things she had no control over. Things that fate, bitch that she was, had taken into her own hands.

And things that she hadn’t thought about in a long time.

Jesse pulled ahead of her about halfway through. She knew it was more of a protective thing than to prove that he was faster, and so she let him. Now he slowed to a normal sprint, then a jog, and finally eased to a halt. He came to stand in the shadows of a tall oak tree, nearly completely concealed in moonless night, staring straight ahead.

“Shea, please come here.”

His voice was low, just above a whisper. He sounded strange. Shea picked her way through some underbrush and went to stand beside him. She studied his strong profile. “What is it?”

He never took his eyes from the area in front of him. “Look there”—he pointed with his chin—“and tell me what you see.”

Shea directed her gaze to the area he’d indicated, then further out, and further still. “I see a clearing…like a field. Only the grass is mowed, and even worn down to dirt in places.” She looked back at Jesse. “What am I supposed to be seeing?”

“The Forest of Dagobas. A graveyard for monks and abbots, and among the tombs possibly even some students from the monastery practicing Kung Fu in their orange robes. But most importantly, dagobas that vary in levels and have inscriptions. Inscriptions that will point us to where the blood of the demons is buried.”

Squinting her eyes, Shea walked forward a few steps. “But there’s nothing here. Are you sure we’re in the right place?”

“I’m fucking positive.” He sounded strangely calm about the whole matter. “Please don’t go any further.”

She stopped, but stayed where she was. “Why?”

“Because I don’t know what the fuck is going on here, and I would prefer that you stay by me where you’ll be safe.”

“Maybe they are there, and we just can’t see them. It’s really foggy.” She looked back over her shoulder, but he was still staring straight ahead with narrowed eyes and a clenched jaw. Shea could practically hear his mind spinning as he tried to figure out what was going on. “Maybe they’re just being cloaked?”

He shook his head distractedly. “No. They’re gone.”

“But how can an entire graveyard just up and disappear?” She started in the direction of the clearing. “I bet they’re just cloaked.” Holding her hands out in front of her, Shea took short steps, feeling with her hands and boots for the structures as she stepped out from the cover of the trees.

Jesse appeared in front of her like a wraith. Later, Shea would swear she could see right through him for a split second before his form solidified. She gasped, her arms dropping to her sides. “What the hell was that, Jesse?”

He ignored her question. “Back up, Shea. Now.”

She did, stepping back carefully so as not to trip as she kept one eye on him and one eye on the ground until she was out of the clearing and back in the darkness of the forest.

“I told you to stay by me,” he gritted out. “You need to listen to me. There are forces here. Things you don’t want to fuck with.”

She stared at his hardened expression. “How do you know?”

“Because I can sense it. There is dark magic at play here. And I don’t know what may have happened if you walked out into the middle of it.”

He was angry with her for not listening to him. But underneath that anger, she saw fear. Gut-wrenching fear. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m only trying to help.”

The fight slowly drained out of him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I know. I’m sorry for speaking to you that way. It was uncalled for.” He turned away and began to pace back and forth in front of her.

“Jesse, it’s okay. We’ll figure something out.” Suddenly exhausted, she sank down onto the ground, crossing her legs in front of her. “Maybe the demons got here first. We can track them

“We don’t have to track them. I know exactly where they’re going. But it wasn’t the demons who did this.”

She looked up at him, confused again. “How do you know?”

He just shook his head and kept pacing.

“Jesse, how do you know?”

With a great, suffering sigh, he stopped. He looked down at her, chewing the inside of his cheek. The interior battle he was fighting within himself would barely have been noticeable to anyone else, as not a single muscle twitched to show it. But Shea could feel the turmoil inside of him. He scrubbed his face with his hands, looked at her again, and finally dropped down to his knees in front of her, his legs giving out like he was as exhausted as she was. He knelt there, not saying a word, only looking at her with heartbreak darkening his brilliant eyes.

Shea felt something wrap around her lungs, and squeeze. “What is it?” Her voice was shaking. She’d known this time would come. The time he would feel ready to expose himself to her, to tell her who he truly was. But she wasn’t ready. Not yet. For when he told her, there would be nothing stopping her from hating him completely. There would be no excuses for the things he’d done. No acts of kindness, however small, that would make her think more of him.

“I need to tell you something. And I don’t want to.”

“Then don’t.”

“I have to. It isn’t right to keep this from you any longer.”

She waited, every cell in her body wishing he would keep his mouth shut. And for a moment, she thought he’d heard her wish and he would do just that. For he said nothing for a long time. Just knelt there, staring, with that look in his eyes.

Shea was getting more nervous by the second. She’d never seen this look. And she knew that she was only seeing it now because he wanted her to. He only ever let her in when he wanted her there. Any other time he was completely unreadable. He was a master at disguising his emotions, internally and out. “All right, fine. Then tell me.”

He gave her a tight smile that wasn’t really a smile at all. “You’re not going to like it.”

Shea couldn’t take it anymore. “Jesus Christ, Jesse. Just tell me.”

He took a deep breath, his hands clenching and unclenching on his lap. “First, I want you to know that this had nothing at all to do with you. And I would have protected you at all costs. With my own life. Nothing would have happened to you or your family. I would have made sure of it.”

She swallowed the bile rising in her throat. “What are you talking about? Why would anything happen to any of us?”

He looked straight at her. There was no fidgeting, no nervousness, just a damning stillness. “I’m not here to stop the demons, Shea. I’m here to help them.”

She should’ve been surprised, shocked, at the very least disappointed, to finally hear him admit it. But she was none of those things. He wasn’t a good male, and he’d done way worse things before she’d met him. So, she felt nearly nothing at his confession. Not shock. Not disappointment. Nothing at all.

Some sense of morbid curiosity led her to ask, “Why?”

“I need them to help me with something. Or, actually, someone.” He didn’t go into any further explanation, or offer any more details.

“Is there no one else who can help you?” She was reaching, and she knew it.

“No. There is no one else. The demons are the only ones with the power and the…reach…to help me.”

Shea plucked at a blade of grass that had somehow managed to grow there within the trees, reaching for sunlight within the darkness of the forest. She honestly didn’t even want to know what he meant by that statement.

“You don’t seem surprised,” he said after long seconds had passed.

She sighed. “I’m not. I only wish I’d been wrong.”

“Don’t you want to know who it is I need their help with?”

“Not really, no.” Because if only the demons could stop him or her, they were talking about a creature of indescribable evil and power. Worse than Leeha at her finest.

Worse than Jesse.

“You’re not going to sit there and argue with me? Try to win me over to the good side?”

“Nope.” Shea was a realist. Jesse was who he was and she wouldn’t be able to change him, she knew that. No matter how badly she wished he was someone else. No matter how she wished he was someone she could admire. Someone she could respect. “I only wonder why you bothered to drag me along if you had no intention of helping me.” She still couldn’t look at him.

“You know the answer to that.”

Yes, she did. He’d done it for his own selfish reasons.

“I lied to you. I’m very sorry.”

The apology was simple, but heartfelt. She could feel how much he meant it, and she realized that this was the real reason she hadn’t been surprised by his admission. The connection between them had told her all along that he wasn’t being truthful with her.

Yet, she’d come along anyway. And worse, she’d stayed. Even after she’d fed from him. Even after her senses had become so tuned in to this male that she could no longer fool herself about who he was.

Shea knew it was time to be honest with herself. She’d come with him because she wanted to explore this thing between them. And she’d stayed because she wanted to be with him, no matter the consequences. Not because he was her mate. Not because she could touch him, which she’d only recently discovered. And not just to have him around as a feedbag. But simply because she’d always known she belonged with him.

They belonged together. And there was the truth she’d been fighting. All out in the open.

“You don’t hate me.” The thread of hope was fragile, but Shea could hear it.

She shook her head. “I don’t hate you.” Then she shrugged. “No more than usual, anyway.”

His laughter rose through the treetops, dispersing the air of tension that had surrounded them at his confession. The sound washed over her, soothing her wounded ego. She leaned back against a tree and waited out his amusement. The thought occurred to her that perhaps she should come clean about her own intentions, as long as they were going there, but something stopped her from saying the words.

“Ah, love. You never cease to keep me on my toes.” Jesse still had a twinkle in his eye as he rose to his full height, but it quickly diminished as he again looked out over the barren area where the dagobas should be.

Shea also rose, needlessly brushing the leaves and twigs from her dirty jeans. “You know who did this?”

“I do. But the joke is on them.”

“What do you mean?”

He turned to look down at her. Carefully, he reached out and moved a strand of her long hair that had blown into her face with the humid breeze.

Shea shooed him away and tucked the wayward strand behind her ear. “Jesse, what did you mean by that?”

“Because it doesn’t matter. I will still get what I want.”

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