Chapter 10

 

SILENCE.

Dex had never been exposed to so much of it as he had in the last few days since the youth center bombing. He hated it. It was becoming unbearable. Sloane ended up turning on the radio in the Suburban so they weren’t driven crazy by it. For days, Dex had done his best to remain professional, speaking to Sloane when spoken to. He kept his head down, did his work. The worst part—aside from feeling like utter shit—was everyone constantly asking him if he was all right. Clearly, he wasn’t, but what the hell was he supposed to do? Sloane had given him a verbal reprimand and for all the wrong reasons. Dex was sure of it. It had completely blindsided him, and he was having a hard time getting past it.

To make things worse, he hadn’t received a Confirmation of Submission notice and that made him nervous.

As they walked through the hospital wing, Dex considered waving the white flag. Sloane was his superior. If he believed he was doing something for the right reasons, what could Dex do about it? How long could they carry on like this? It had only been a few days, but he hated this feeling. On top of that, his stupid head and heart were missing Sloane. Badly.

“Check on Calvin. He’s barely left Hobbs’s room since the incident. Lieutenant Sparks wants him in bright and early for briefing. I’ll talk to your brother. You can find me there when you’re done.”

“Okay.” Dex walked two doors down to Hobbs’s room, smiling at Calvin talking to his partner who was sitting up, looking endearingly puzzled. A second later, Dex had an idea as to why Hobbs looked so confused. Calvin gently took hold of his best friend’s face and kissed him. Not an “I’m so happy you’re awake” kiss, or a drunken best friend kiss, but an “I want to know what your tonsils taste like” kiss. Holy shit! The large Therian had been stunned at first, but now he was eagerly returning Calvin’s kiss, his fingers gripping his partner’s arms. All Dex could do was stand there like an idiot. He needed to turn around, pretend he hadn’t seen a thing, and run. Run, Dex, run!

“What the hell is going on in here?”

Dex spun around and threw a hand up. “It’s my fault, Sarge. I made him do it.”

“What?” Tony looked from Dex to the two agents behind him and back, not looking convinced. Dex turned, holding back a curse. Calvin was wide-eyed and breathless, his face as flushed as Hobbs’s.

“Well, Hobbs was bitchin’ about his ouchies, so I said Calvin would kiss it and make it better. Calvin said no, so I said the only alternative was for me to reenact Romancing the Stone scene for scene while singing Billy Ocean’s “When the Going Gets Tough.” And wouldn’t you know it, Calvin puckered up. Absolutely no appreciation for the arts, these two.” Dex shook his head in shame and started singing softly. Tony didn’t hesitate. He shook his head and smacked Dex upside the head. “Ow!”

“Boy, what the hell’s wrong with you? The poor guy got blown up and you’re torturing him with your crappy-ass pop music?”

“Whoa, hey now. Don’t you insult Billy. Billy’s the man. But I understand what you’re saying. I need to work on my selections.” Dex thrust a finger at a startled looking Hobbs and started singing “Eye of the Tiger.”

“No you don’t.” Tony grabbed Dex by the collar and dragged him out of the room. “You stay out here until you hit puberty.” He disappeared inside, the door closing firmly behind him. Dex let out the deep breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and dropped into the chair beside him. His phone buzzed and he smiled. It was a text from Calvin.

“Thank you.”

Dex replied with a winking happy face and returned his phone to his pocket. That had been close, too close. Now that he thought about it, it sort of made sense. When Dex had first joined the team, those two had been off their game, even Rosa had said so. They’d been careless, and it had led to Calvin getting in over his head at Greenpoint when they’d been hunting for a Therian suspect.

The last few months, there’d been some tension between them, and now Dex understood why. The two had been best buds since they were kids, but clearly, those feelings had grown into something more for at least one of them. Thinking back to their behavior around each other, if Dex were to hazard a guess, he would say Calvin had been the one to fall first. Sounded familiar.

The door opened, snapping him out of his thoughts. He stood to greet his dad. “I was trying to cheer them up.”

“Yeah, I know. You got a weird way of doing it.”

Dex blinked at him. “I’m sorry, have we met?” He held out his hand. “Hi, I’m Dex. You’ve been watching me do weird shit since I was five. You have a drawer full of photographic evidence too.”

Tony rolled his eyes at him. “I’ve been holding onto the hope that it’s a phase. A really, really, really long phase.”

“Ooh,” Dex cringed. “I hate to be the one to crush your dreams, but you’re better off giving up on that hope.” Dex beamed up at him, laughing at the startled expression that crossed his dad’s weary face.

“What did you do?”

Dex shrugged. “Nothing.”

Tony gave him that look.

“I bought a karaoke machine for the break room.”

“Oh hell no.” Tony thrust a finger at him. “You’re taking it back.”

“But—”

“No. I’m putting my foot down on this.”

“But we were going to have a sing-off. Destructive Delta versus Beta Ambush.” He shook a fist at the air. “They’re so damn cocky. They think they can out air guitar me? We’ll see about that.”

“No, we won’t, because whatever’s going through your head right now isn’t happening. You want to do a sing-along—”

“Sing-off,” Dex corrected.

“That machine enters the building and it’s going back out via the nearest window. Be weird on your own time.” Tony stormed off and Calvin stepped up to Dex, studying him.

“You didn’t really buy a karaoke machine for the break room, did you?”

“What?” Dex laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I didn’t. This whole case has him on edge.”

Calvin appeared to give it some thought when it occurred to him. “And you were taking some of the edge off.”

“When it seems like the world’s burning down around you, a little sense of normality can go a long way.” Dex resumed his seat, knowing Calvin had some ’splaining to do. “The sing-off is real, though. I’m going to crush those Beta bastards. Can you sing?” He waved a hand in dismissal. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll still beat them. So, you and Hobbs.”

Calvin cleared his throat and took a seat, his cheeks going pink. “What about us?”

“Dude, I walked in on you two sucking face like a couple of college kids, come on. Whatever you say stays between us. If you can trust me with your life, you can trust me with this. Something’s been up with you guys for months, and if you haven’t noticed, the team’s been worried.”

Calvin’s head shot up and he turned to Dex. “They don’t suspect anything, do they?”

“Nah. Whatever they’re thinking, it’s nothing close to that, but if you don’t sort it out soon, Sloane’s going to get wind something’s wrong, and you don’t want him interrogating you. It’s not fun. So?”

“You know Hobbs and I grew up together. We both came from a rough neighborhood. No segregated schools, at least not officially. Inside was a different matter. There were more Humans than Therians. We got shit for being friends. On top of that, Hobbs got bullied for his mutism. Those assholes knew he couldn’t fight back. He was bigger than them, stronger, but he was so crippled by his anxiety, he didn’t stand a chance.

“I don’t think a day went by where I didn’t end up in the principal’s office for fighting, but I had to protect him. My mom wanted to put me in another school, one strictly Human, but I refused to leave Hobbs behind in that shithole to fend for himself. He needed me. I can count on one hand the number of times we weren’t together. By college, Hobbs had gotten better with his mutism and the anxiety. We shared an apartment. Man, it was so much fun. We did some pretty stupid shit,” Calvin said with a laugh. His expression grew somber, and he looked down at his fingers, lost in thought. “Anyway, things were good. After college, we got recruited by the THIRDS and moved into a bigger apartment together. We figured there was no point in spending a load of money on rent when we could save that money and help get our families out of the ghettos they were living in.

“Everything was cool between us. We’d never been closer. Then last year, we had this big Fourth of July party at our apartment, and both of us got shitfaced. We hooked up with these guys, the four of us in Hobbs’s bedroom, and everything was fine until Hobbs started fucking this guy. He was blond, about my height and size. I bolted. I couldn’t be in the same room while he screwed that guy.”

“What did Hobbs do after you bolted?”

“He came after me. We had a huge fight, mostly because I was so pissed off at him and at myself. I didn’t know what the hell I was feeling. All I knew was that I couldn’t stand seeing him fuck another guy. It was selfish, I know. I told him I needed some space. You should have seen his face. It was like I’d stabbed him in the heart. For days I hid out in my room, making sure when I came out I didn’t bump into him. He was so damn patient and good. He’d make me sandwiches and leave them in the fridge for me.” Calvin’s eyes grew glassy and he gave a sniff.

“He caught me one afternoon in the hall, and when he tried to apologize, as if he was the reason I was acting like such an asshole, I lost it. I told him I didn’t want him fucking anyone else because… of how I felt about him. I couldn’t say the words, mostly because until the explosion, I couldn’t say exactly what it was I felt. I told him somewhere along the way, things had changed. The way I felt about him changed. I thought I was going to lose my mind waiting for him to say something. In the end, he hugged me and said we’d work it out.” Calvin let out a heavy sigh. “He’s scared we’ll lose our friendship. I tried to tell him it would never happen. If things didn’t work out, I’d never stop being his best friend.”

“How’s he feel about what just happened?” Dex asked, nodding to the closed door beside him.

Calvin shrugged, a small smile coming onto his hopeful face. “He kissed me back. That’s a good sign, right?”

Dex threw an arm around Calvin and gave him a reassuring squeeze. “I think so. Give him time. It’s a lot to take in. I’m betting Hobbs isn’t the kind of guy crazy about change, especially when it concerns the possibility of losing his best friend.”

“Thanks, Dex. I’m gonna head back in, say good-bye. Maddock and Sloane agree he needs more time to recuperate. I’ll see you at HQ.”

“No problem, buddy.” Dex sat there long after Calvin had disappeared inside. He’d known his teammates were close, but he hadn’t known they were that close. “Man, this team is incestuous.” At least he had Rosa and Letty to keep the balance. Speaking of Rosa, she’d been right about Sloane. He was miserable to be around when he had something stuck in his craw, and he made everyone else around him miserable. Usually Dex kept Sloane from spending too much time grumping, finding ways to make him smile. Dex missed that smile.

With a groan, he let his head fall back against the chair. “Man, I am so screwed.”

 

 

“YOU SURE you’re ready to go back?”

Sloane sat on the blue couch beside Cael’s bed, glad to see the young Therian looking like his old self. A pang of guilt hit him for the reprimand he’d intended to give Dex, and he chastised himself for being such a sentimental idiot. Now he was going to feel guilty about doing his job because of Cael?

“Yep.” Cael patted his stomach with a laugh. “If I stay here any longer eating Rosa’s cooking, I won’t fit into my uniform.” His smile faded. “Hey, you got a minute?”

“Sure. What’s up?”

“I’m worried about Dex.”

“Oh?” Sloane sat back, stretching his legs and meeting Cael’s concerned gaze.

“He’s acting like… I don’t know. Like he’s been dumped. Worse actually. When Lou dumped him, he got drunk, but after a few days was back to his old self. This… I can’t remember the last time I saw him like this. Do you think he’s been seeing someone?”

“Wouldn’t he have told you?” Sloane laced his fingers over his stomach, his gaze unwavering. As much as he disliked lying to Cael concerning what was happening between him and Dex, Sloane had grown accustomed to hiding. His relationship, his vulnerabilities, the truth about himself, and what he was.

Cael cocked his head to one side. “I’m his brother. We’ve never kept secrets from each other. Unless he felt he didn’t have a choice.”

Something in Cael’s eyes set off an alarm in Sloane’s head. He’d learned a long time ago not to underestimate his young teammate. Cael’s sweet disposition made those around him comfortable, enough for them to let their guard down, and the cheetah Therian knew how to use that to his advantage. The kid wasn’t just quick on his feet. “What do you mean?”

“Like you and Gabe.”

Sloane’s heart slammed and he forced himself to remain stoic. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t worry, no one else knows, and they won’t, at least they won’t find out from me.” Sloane didn’t say a word, and Cael let out a heavy sigh. “I was the one assigned to clear out his interface and send his files to the lieutenant’s office. You know when an agent leaves, gets dismissed, or is killed in action, Recon is assigned to remove them from Themis, do a sweep of their systems and report all our findings.”

Sloane shrugged. “It’s a routine sweep, to make sure no case files or sensitive information is left behind for the subsequent agent.” He congratulated himself on not freaking out. Cael knew something, but until Sloane knew exactly what that was, he wasn’t about to take any chances.

“We do an in-depth sweep as well, to search for any possible theft or misuse of information. It’s the government, Sloane. We don’t trust ourselves.”

“Cael, if you have something you want to say, say it.”

“I found a hidden folder with heavy protection on it in Gabe’s hard drive. It had a confirmation e-mail from a cruise company.”

“And?” Sloane arched an eyebrow at the young agent. He watched Cael intently, noticing his slight fidget and the way he suddenly moved his gaze away.

“I don’t think—”

“Say it.”

“It was an e-mail requesting to extend the cruise by one night, a stop at the Bahamas for a romantic dinner for two. He also paid for champagne and a photographer. Your name was down as his partner, and I don’t mean work partner, so please, Sloane, don’t lie to me. I’m young, not stupid. I deleted anything that pertained to Gabe’s personal life which had a connection to you.”

The room fell silent. All this time, and now, after everything, he was finding this out? What was he supposed to do with this information other than feel shitty about it? He didn’t blame Cael. The young Therian was doing his job, and Sloane appreciated his honesty. Things would have turned out a whole lot different if Cael had simply handed everything over to the lieutenant blindly, not bothering to check it out. Still, the knowledge of Gabe’s gesture picked at the scab of Sloane’s wounded heart. He was so exhausted and tired of feeling the ache there, but too afraid to let it go. “Thank you,” Sloane replied when he managed to find his voice. “So now what?”

“Now nothing. I’ve kept your secret this long. Do you really think I’m going to say something now? I hope you don’t think that little of me.”

It was amazing how much Cael reminded Sloane of Dex, despite the two not being related by blood. They were so different, yet shared many of the same mannerisms, had similar patterns of speech, and a similar sense of humor. “You’re right. Is that all you wanted to say?”

“No. When Dex cares about something, he puts his whole heart and soul into it. He’s the best guy I know, and not because he’s my brother. He’ll never let you down, never betray you. But he’s not so good at doing the same for himself. He’ll let you keep hurting him, Sloane, and he deserves better than that.”

Sloane nodded. “You’re right, he does.”

“May I speak freely?”

“Always.”

Cael rounded his shoulders, his silver-gray eyes penetrating. “You’re scared, I get that. I know it must be hard for you, and I have no right to dismiss what you’re going through, but if you’re willing to walk away from my brother because you’re too much of a chickenshit to take a risk, well, he’s better off without you.”

Sloane stared at him. Wow. The kid really didn’t mince words when it came to his family. Cael’s expression softened, but he remained firm on his position. Sloane couldn’t blame Cael for being protective of his big brother. A part of Sloane believed Dex was indeed better off without him, but the other half of him didn’t want to let go.

“I respect you, Sloane, and that won’t go away no matter what you decide. I’m asking you to really think about things. Don’t let him get caught up in a future with you if you have no intention of ever letting it get that far.”

Sloane mulled over Cael’s words and decided to take a chance. “And if I don’t walk away? If things do work out?”

“If he’s happy, I’m happy. As long as no one finds out.” Cael smiled a wide dopey grin. “I like having him on our team.”

The door opened and Dex came strolling in with a cheerful smile. “Hey, Chirpy, you ready to….”

“Oh my God, Dex!” Cael wailed, his eyes going huge, and his face turning a bright crimson.

Dex saw Sloane and cringed. “Woops.”

“Chirpy?” Sloane arched an eyebrow at Cael, holding back a laugh.

“You dick!” Cael’s murderous glare was at full strength, and Sloane was relieved it wasn’t aimed at him. For all his timidness, Cael could be pretty scary at times. “You swore you’d never call me that in public! I can’t believe you.”

“I didn’t know anyone was here!” Dex replied in a panic. “I’m sorry!”

Cael declared loudly, “When Dex was fourteen, we walked in on him with his penis in the vacuum cleaner hose!”

Dex let out a dramatic gasp. “Judas! How could you?” He turned to Sloane, who was desperately trying not to laugh. “It’s not what you think.”

“It’s exactly what you think,” Cael said with a smug grin. “He tried to fuck the vacuum.”

“It was an accident,” Dex insisted.

Cael rolled his eyes. “Really? You were vacuuming your room, slipped, and ‘oh, look at that. Vacuum fell on my penis.’ Please.”

Sloane burst into laughter. He doubled over, covered his face with his hands, his shoulders shaking as he tried to control himself. Oh, fuck. He didn’t have words. The brothers continued to argue, until Cael gave in, apologized, and they made up. On the ride back to HQ, Sloane had to bite the inside of his cheeks to keep himself from breaking out into spontaneous laughter, especially since Dex sulked the entire way. That had been hours ago.

Now, he lay sprawled on his bed in his sleeper bay, staring at the ceiling. With Unit Alpha working overtime to find Isaac, squads were taking turns catching a few hours of sleep in the bays. It was easier to spend the night here than waste time going home, not to mention less dangerous. The THIRDS didn’t want any of their agents falling asleep behind the wheel. Not that Sloane’s apartment was far, and he could always take a cab. Unlike many other agents, Sloane really had no need to sleep here, but he found it comforting.

Since Gabe had died, he’d spent a lot of rough nights here at HQ. He’d made countless excuses to himself as to why that was, but now he knew the truth. He didn’t want to go home to his big empty apartment. He wasn’t one of those guys who always needed to have someone in his bed, but he’d be fooling no one if he said he didn’t like having a certain someone in his bed. It was his own fault. He’d been spending too much time with Dex, either sleeping in Dex’s bed or having Dex in his own, but there was something about the guy that made it hard for Sloane to stay away. The last few days had been fucking miserable.

Sloane rolled onto his side with a huff. God, look at him, sulking like some teenager infected with puppy love. So he liked having Dex around. So what? Who the hell didn’t like having Dex around? Ash of course, but well, it was Ash. Eight months, and his team had accepted Dex as one of their own, as if he’d always been there. Rosa fussed over him as much as she did Cael, acting like a mother hen despite being a couple of years older than Dex. Letty teased and roughhoused with him as if they were siblings, jumping on him, hugging him, asking him for advice on whatever hot guy she had her eye on, while Calvin and Hobbs followed Dex around like a couple of groupies.

Dex walked around with a smile on his face, giving his undivided attention to whoever approached him, going out of his way to help however he could. He wasn’t arrogant or cocky, but playful. At times, he was shy, hiding behind his humor or that dopey grin of his. He was weird, no doubt about it, what with his bizarre fixation on music released before 1989, his unhealthy obsession with cheese snacks, and his inability to shut up at times, but somehow, that made him more attractive in Sloane’s eyes.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Sloane groaned at himself, rubbing his hands over his face. He should have been sleeping, instead he was thinking about how great Dex was. If the guy was so goddamn great, what the hell was Sloane doing alone? He kept telling himself he wasn’t ready to label whatever he had with Dex, especially since it was strictly between them, so what was the point, but what else was Dex if not his boyfriend? They weren’t sleeping around. Hell, the thought of Dex being fucked by someone else made him want to punch something.

Dex was a good guy, faithful, smart, funny, sexy, and he was crazy about Sloane. What more could Sloane want? He should be counting his lucky stars that a guy like Dex wanted anything to do with his miserable ass, and what was he doing? Disciplining him, and beating the shit out of him for saving a teammate’s life. Cael’s words kept coming back to him. The kid had really called him out on his behavior. And he was right. Sloane was being a complete chickenshit.

He was such an asshole. If he wasn’t with Dex, he had no one to blame but himself. No matter how many times he told himself Dex had disobeyed orders, deep down, he knew that wasn’t it. Had anyone else on the team done what Dex did, Sloane would have been royally pissed off at first, but then he would have been proud of them. He sure as hell wouldn’t have taken disciplinary measures.

It had been easy to let his anger get out of hand and turn into something else. Was he taking it out on Dex because he was too scared of where things were heading? This was their first real fight. Sure, they’d argued plenty of times before, but it never resulted in this… this horrible feeling in his chest. He sat up and shifted to the edge of the bed with a frown. Getting up, he pulled back the covers, determined to get some sleep, when he heard faint music. It was coming from the room next door.

The rooms were heavily insulated so occupants could go about their business without disturbing their fellow agents. He doubted his Human teammates could hear the tune, and if Sloane’s room hadn’t been silent, he wouldn’t have either. Curious, he pressed his ear to the wall, his heart lurching when he heard the familiar power ballad. He closed his eyes as he listened to the faint lyrics of Journey’s “Faithfully.”

Straightening, he left his room, closing the door behind him, and with a deep breath, he knocked on the door next to his. He ran his fingers through his hair in a feeble attempt to comb it back then told himself to stop being such an ass. The door opened, and a tired, disheveled-looking Dex sporting a distressed Back to the Future T-shirt and gray sweats stood on the other side.

“Hi. I heard the music.”

“Oh.” Dex walked over to the desk and tapped his tablet, turning it down. “Sorry.”

“No, I didn’t mean it was bothering me. When I heard it, I figured it was you.”

Dex nodded.

“Can I come in?”

“You’re the Team Leader. You can do what you want.” Dex took a seat on the edge of his bed, his gaze going to his bare feet.

“I didn’t come here to fight,” Sloane said with a sigh, closing the door behind him and locking it. He joined Dex on the edge of the bed.

Again, Dex nodded, but didn’t say anything. Sloane watched him worry his bottom lip, close his eyes, and release a heavy sigh. “You have a job to do, I get it. I’ve been a THIRDS agent a few months. You’ve been one for years. Who the hell am I to question your judgment?”

“I deleted the reprimand.”

Dex stared at him. “Why?”

“Because it wasn’t right. Hell, even Ash was pissed off at me for it.”

“Ash?” Dex’s expression would have made Sloane laugh if he wasn’t feeling so shitty about what he’d done, not to mention how far he’d let it go. What kind of a partner was he?

“Yeah, he said if it had been anyone else on the team, I wouldn’t have done it, and he’s right. What you did was brave, kinda stupid too, but brave.”

“So why did you do it?”

“I’ve been asking myself the same question since the day of the bombing. I think a part of me wondered if you thought the rules didn’t apply to you because we’re sleeping together.” He wanted to tell Dex about the other part, the part that was scared shitless of a relationship.

“I’d never take advantage like that. I disobeyed the order because it wasn’t right. Not to me.”

“Dex, I understand that, I do, but sometimes we have to make decisions we don’t want to make or that don’t seem to make sense. Our objective and how we feel about it won’t always add up. The team is our family, and we do what we have to in order to protect it, but there are priorities. That’s the job.” It hurt to say it, but he had to, because it was the truth. “I have to do everything in my power to preserve civilian life, even if it means losing one of my own. Even if it means… losing you.”

“Still, it doesn’t make it any easier when it’s staring you in the face,” Dex murmured, his gaze everywhere else but on Sloane.

“No.”

“I didn’t mean to make your job harder than it is.”

Sloane shook his head. “This is on me. You said the structure was sound, I should have trusted you. That’s part of my job too.” He needed to make some changes, to take more chances. Now was as good a time as any to start. “I did learn something else from all this.”

“Oh?” Dex did look at him then.

Sloane was pouting, but he couldn’t help it. Thinking back to the last few days and how it had felt without Dex. It sucked. “Yeah, I don’t like how it feels.”

“How what feels?”

“Fighting like this.”

Dex looked surprised by his admission. “So… what you’re saying is you like having me around?”

“You know I do.” He studied Dex’s guarded expression. The guy was crap at trying to hide his feelings. “Don’t you?”

Dex gave him a warm smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah.”

“Cael’s right. You’re a shitty liar.” Sloane shifted closer to him and slipped an arm around him, tentatively pulling him closer, relieved when Dex went along with it. “It’s okay. You’re right. I could do a better job of showing you. It’s not just about the sex. I apologize if I gave you that impression.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about the sex,” Dex said, holding back a smile.

“Me neither.”

Dex smiled, and this time it reached his sparkling-blue eyes. He gave Sloane’s shoulder a playful bump, his voice teasing. “Did you miss me?”

God, the guy had no idea. “I couldn’t sleep.” He frowned knowing he probably looked and sounded pathetic. “And yeah, I did miss you.”

“You’ve ruined Journey for me, you know that? Anytime I hear it, all I can see is you.”

Sloane was taken aback. He knew exactly what that meant for Dex. He cupped Dex’s cheek, using his thumb to stroke the stubble growing in. Now that he looked closer, he could see the bags under Dex’s eyes, and he had a feeling it wasn’t just from the case. It looked like Sloane wasn’t the only one who’d had trouble sleeping since the day of the bombing. He leaned in hesitantly, allowing Dex time to pull away, or tell him to get the hell out if he wanted. Instead, Dex leaned into him so their lips pressed together.

Dex’s scent reminded Sloane how crazy Dex made him feel. He slipped his hand around the back of Dex’s neck, pulling him harder against him, their kiss quickly turning heated. He tried to slow down—for fuck’s sake, it had been a few days—but he couldn’t. Dex’s scent, his taste, the feel of his body pressed against Sloane’s was hitting all the right buttons, and Sloane wanted more. He pulled off Dex’s shirt. “How about a little Journey?”

“You’re asking for Journey?” Dex breathed, his fingers digging into Sloane’s arms. “Wow, you really did miss my sexing you up.”

“You have no idea,” Sloane replied with a chuckle, his eyes glued to Dex as he tapped the tablet and raised the volume. When Dex turned to him, his smile stole Sloane’s breath away.

“I think maybe I do.”

Their bodies crashed together in a frenzy of desperate kisses, painful rutting, and scorching touches. By the way they assaulted each other’s lips, it was as if they’d been apart for years rather than days. Sloane lay over Dex, his fingers curled around fistfuls of Dex’s hair, his mouth hungrily plundering, reveling in the taste of his lover. Beneath him, Dex writhed and arched his back, gasping for air after Sloane released his mouth. Dex’s fingers dug into Sloane’s ass, their cocks painfully hard.

“Sloane, I need you to fuck me. Please.”

“Supplies?”

Dex motioned to his backpack on the desk’s chair, and Sloane reached out, snatching one of the straps and yanking it over. He sat back on his heels, rummaged through one of the zipper pockets, pulling out a condom and a small packet of lube. Beneath him, Dex broke speed records undressing. He threw his clothes to the floor, and Sloane’s clothes soon joined them, along with Dex’s backpack.

Dex lay on his back, running his hand up Sloane’s inner thigh, making him shiver. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for being stupid. We could have been doing this days ago.”

Sloane shook his head and leaned in to kiss Dex. “No. I was the one being stupid and stubborn.” God, how he’d missed this. The feel of Dex’s skin, the taste of him, his scent mixed in with the smell of his shampoo and shower gel, his firm body beneath Sloane’s touch. Sloane doubted he would last long, but he was practically vibrating with anticipation. He quickly lubed himself up, as well as his fingers before prepping Dex, watching enthralled as Dex threw his head back with a low groan, sweat beading his brow and his tongue poking out to lick his bottom lip. “Fuck, you’re beautiful.”

Dex’s eyes met his, a stunning smile coming onto his face, and his cheeks flushed. The affection in his eyes squeezed Sloane’s heart, and he brought their lips together again, doing his best to show Dex how he made Sloane feel through his kiss, even if he had trouble finding the words to go with it. He lined himself up with one hand and lifted Dex’s leg with the other before he tenderly pushed himself inside. His lover inhaled sharply and Sloane paused, allowing Dex to adjust around him. A heartbeat later, Dex nodded, and Sloane pushed through until he was buried deep, the tight heat both excruciating and exhilarating.

Sloane rocked against Dex, his muscles pulled and tensed as he moved, drawing out, and then pushing in. He kept a steady pace, his eyes never leaving Dex’s as he moved. Dex reached down between them to stroke his cock, and Sloane bucked his hips at the sight, making Dex gasp. With a wicked grin, Sloane pulled out, grabbed a pillow from beside Dex’s head and tapped Dex’s flank, receiving a naughty smile when Sloane slipped the pillow underneath Dex’s lower back.

“Hold on tight?” Dex asked with a knowing grin.

“Hold on tight,” Sloane growled playfully. He lined his cock up against Dex’s hole once again, thrusting inside him, and Dex clamped a hand over his mouth to stifle his cry, his other hand thrown up against the headboard. Sloane snapped his hips, thrusting hard inside Dex. He held Dex’s legs up against him, his arms around them as he fucked him, his breath ragged, and his pulse soaring.

“Oh God,” Dex moaned, arching his back. He took himself in hand, jerking himself off as Sloane snapped his hips and rotated them, hitting Dex’s prostate. Dex threw a hand out to his side, gripping a fistful of the sheets as the bed moved beneath them. Sloane closed his eyes for a moment, the feel of fucking Dex incredible. His abdomen tightened, and he let out a low warning growl. Dex shook his head. “In my mouth. I want to taste you.”

The thought almost had Sloane coming. He swiftly pulled out, rolled off the condom, and cursed under his breath when Dex got on his hands and knees in front of him, that gorgeous mouth swallowing Sloane’s cock to the root, sucking, licking, moaning with need.

“Oh God, Dex.” He put his hands to Dex’s head, thrusting his hips, a shiver going up his spine as Dex allowed him to fuck his mouth. “I’m gonna come.”

Dex hummed, and Sloane gritted his teeth to keep himself from crying out as he shot into Dex’s hot mouth, feeling Dex’s throat swallowing around him. He doubled over, his arms wrapped around Dex’s head as he let himself go completely, his body trembling. When Dex pulled off, Sloane pushed him onto his back to return the favor, loving the taste of Dex as he sucked his beautiful cock. He bobbed his head, licking and circling the head with his tongue, pressing the tip into Dex’s slit, enjoying the way Dex bucked his hips beneath him. He continued to suck Dex off, sliding his free hand up Dex’s chest to tweak one pebbled nipple.

“Sloane,” Dex warned, arching his back. Just as he finished saying Sloane’s name, Dex came, his muscles stiffening under Sloane’s touch. Around them, there was only the music coming from Dex’s tablet, and for a moment, everything was right with the world. He could close his eyes and pretend they were in Dex’s house, the last week having never happened.

Sloane laid his head on Dex’s flat stomach, smiling to himself as Dex stroked his hair, his breath steadying. “Can you stay?”

“Yes.”

As he lay there, enjoying Dex’s ministrations, feeling wanted, needed, and cared for, Sloane had a desperate urge to say “yes” to anything Dex wanted. But he knew he couldn’t, not while his past loomed over him, threatening to shatter everything. Now, more than ever, he wanted this. He wanted to experience what it would be like to truly be with Dex. What the hell was he supposed to do?

 

 

THE NEXT morning, Dex wasn’t surprised when he found his bed empty. Sloane’s side was cold, meaning he’d left some time ago. He hoped it was just his partner being cautious, but his heart was telling him he was kidding himself. With a sigh, Dex sat up and ran a hand through his hair. Coffee. Coffee would help his brain function. He stood and switched on the personal one-cup coffee maker the THIRDS equipped all the rooms with. He thanked his lucky stars he worked for an organization that appreciated java as much as he did.

While his coffee brewed, he dressed in his uniform, dragging his thigh rig off the desk and tossing it onto the bed. To his coffee he added sugar and milk from the small fridge tucked underneath the desk and sat on the edge of his bed to think as he sipped the heavenly nectar, hoping it might make him feel remotely not like crap. For a moment, he’d actually thought everything might go back to normal. Idiot. He might be a shitty liar, but he’d perfected the art of playing dumb. Sloane was getting scared. The reprimand, the fight, the fear at the mere mention of the word “boyfriend.” Although Dex believed Sloane when he said there was more between them than sex, that didn’t mean Sloane was ready to turn that something more into a relationship, and part of him wondered if the guy ever would be.

Securing his thigh rig to his belt and the straps around his leg, he left his room to head for the bullpen. Ash was standing outside his office chatting to Cael. “Hey. Have you seen Sloane?” Dex asked him, after giving his brother a welcome back pat on his ass.

“No. You look like shit.”

“I had a feeling I might, considering I feel like shit,” Dex muttered. “Thanks for confirming it, though.”

Ash held his arms out, his bottom lip jutted out. “Do you need a cuddle?”

“I’m too tired right now to come up with an appropriate response, so I’m going to pencil you in for later in the week. How’s Thursday work for you? I can tell you to fuck off properly then.” He let out a yawn and Ash chuckled.

“My week’s kind of full, but since it’s you, I’ll move some things around.”

“I appreciate it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some more moping to do. Tell Taylor I know he’s the one who ate my maple donut, and if he does it again, I’m going to shank him with a spork.”

“Whoa, that time of the month, Daley?”

Just his luck, Rosa and Letty were walking past. “Rosa, Ash is calling me a woman on my period. Crush him.” He strolled away to the sound of Rosa cursing Ash out in two languages. Then Ash made the mistake of accusing her of having PMS, and Dex felt marginally better, knowing the guy would soon find himself in physical pain.

Dex closed the office door behind him, tapping his security code into the panel, and setting the room to privacy mode. Might as well get some work done between moping and waiting to hear from Lieutenant Sparks. He initiated his desk’s interface and dropped down into his chair. “This sucks.” His cell phone buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled it out, his heart in his throat at the sight of Sloane’s grumpy face appearing on his caller ID screen. “Hey.”

“Hi. About this morning… I needed time to think.”

Wow. Straight and to the point. “Sure.”

“I know you’re probably wondering what the hell’s going on, and you deserve better than some vague answers and pathetic excuses. I shouldn’t have done what I did last night.”

“Oh.” Dex tried not to let the words sting, but they did. A horn honked somewhere in the distance, and Dex realized Sloane was offsite.

“Shit, that came out wrong. I don’t regret it. I don’t regret you. I’m not in the right frame of mind right now, and I shouldn’t have done what I did if I was going to be an asshole this morning.”

“You’re not an asshole. Most of the time.”

There was a chuckle on the other end before the line went quiet.

“You still there?” Dex asked, closing his eyes, inhaling deeply and releasing it slowly. He knew this feeling. This sense of impending doom.

“Yeah.”

“Are you… I mean, is this the phone call?” Over before it began. Was he really that surprised? A part of him was. Things weren’t great between them, not by far, but he’d expected the chance to work things out, to at least try to make something of whatever was between them. Had he been hoping for too much? Maybe Sloane wasn’t a relationship kind of guy. Maybe Dex was trying to make Sloane into something he wasn’t. He didn’t want that.

“I’m not that much of an asshole, Dex. I would never end things over the phone.”

“Good to know,” Dex muttered. Not that it made him feel any better. Something was up with Sloane, and it was more than the usual relationship insecurities.

“No, it’s not the phone call. I was calling to apologize. Again. And to tell you I’m taking a couple of days off. I know it’s going to sound cliché, but it’s not you, it’s me.”

“Is there something worse than cliché? Because if there is, that was it.” Were they really having this conversation? Why couldn’t Sloane come out and tell him what the hell was going on. “You know, if it’s not working for you, say so. I understand. We said we’d take things as they came, and I meant it.”

“No, Dex. I—I’m fucked up right now, so please, when I say it’s not you, believe me. It’s not you. It has nothing to do with you, or us.”

Sloane’s tone had Dex sitting up. Shit, something really was wrong. “What’s going on?”

“I can’t talk about it. Not right now. I feel like a dick for asking, but you and Ash are the only ones I can turn to. Can you not tell anyone I’m off sick? I told your dad I was out chasing leads. I need a couple of days. If Lieutenant Sparks finds out, she’ll start asking questions, and—”

“Done. And if you need me, you know where to find me. Is there anything else I can do to help?”

There was another long pause. “Wait for me?”

Dex’s heart fluttered. “You bet.”

“Thank you.”

Sloane hung up, and Dex returned his phone to his pocket, his mind racing. He was worried about his partner. It wasn’t like him to go off the grid like this. Whatever it was, it was serious, and Dex was sure it had something to do with the case. He hoped Sloane didn’t do anything rash, or attempt anything on his own. Lord knew the guy was pigheaded, worse when it came to asking for help. Dex would give Sloane the time he needed, but after that, he was going to make it clear to Sloane that he was no longer alone, and it was time he realized it.