Blue sits across from me, staring resolutely at the table in front of him.
Before that he stared at his menu.
“So, what are you guys planning?” I ask. “To stay here or come home?”
“I got a job offer in Leesburg,” Kessler says, “so I took it. So I’ll be close to home.”
“That’s nice,” I say. Even if I know Kessler has been a wall between Blue and me—even if he didn’t know he was one—I’m glad he’ll be back home. I’ve missed my brother. We might’ve been four years apart, but we grew up close.
“What about you?” I ask Blue when he doesn’t respond. I purposely sweep my foot up his leg and he jumps about a foot in the air.
“Um, what?”
I ask my question again.
“Oh, I’m coming home. It was nice to get away for a bit, but I like home too much not to go back.”
My heart sings. Blue is coming home.
“Did you decide where you’re going to college?” he asks, taking a long sip of water after like he’s stranded in a desert.
“Just the local beauty school.”
My dad sighs. “I keep telling her she could do something so much better with her life.”
“And I keep telling you this is what I want to do. Respect that.”
“Girls,” my dad mumbles. “So incredibly stubborn.”
“Dads,” I mimic. “So incredibly stubborn.”
That gets him to laugh. “Touché.”
Our food is brought out and we all eat like we’re starving.
I wait until we’re almost done to enact my plan.
“I don’t feel good,” I blurt, holding my head for dramatic. I even have a slight sheen of sweat, due to the lights in the restaurant, and being so close to Blue, that helps me with my ploy.
“Really?” My mom blurts, immediately concerned. “Do you think it’s the food?”
“I don’t know. I told you I thought I was coming down with something earlier.”
I’d purposely said something so when I decided to attempt my plan it wouldn’t come out of left field.
“I don’t think I should’ve eaten.”
My mom clucks her tongue.
I bat my eyes at Blue. “Do you think you could take me back to the hotel?”
“I … uh …” He stutters.
“Oh, yes,” my mom chimes. “Blue, why don’t you take her back to your apartment. Charles and I want to see it, so we can get her from there and take her back to the hotel with us. That way she won’t be left alone.”
“I don’t think…”
“Please,” I beg. “I don’t feel good.”
He sighs and bites his lip. “Yeah, all right.”
He puts his napkin down and pulls out his wallet.
“No, no.” My dad waves at him to put his wallet away. “I’ve got this.”
“Thanks, Charles.”
Blue and I get up from the table and as we make our way through I feel his hand press lightly against my back.
I close my eyes, pretending we were on a date just the two of us and now we’re going home, where he’ll make love to me and we’ll plan for our future.
I’m pathetic, I know.
We reach his car, an old Honda Civic, and being the gentleman he is he opens the door for me.
I slip inside with a quiet thanks.
I don’t say much on the way to his and Kessler’s apartment—seriously that worked out in my favor because now he can’t say he has to leave—trying to act like I’m actually sick so he doesn’t get suspicious and turn back around and haul my ass into the restaurant.
Only a short five minutes later he turns into an apartment complex and parks.
“How do you feel?”
“A little better.”
He nods. “We have some peppermints inside.”
I get out and follow him up the steps. I trip and he grabs me.
Fireworks ignite along my skin where we touch and when my eyes meet his I know he feels it too.
He clears his throat and lets me go when he knows I’m steady.
I feel cold at the loss of his touch.
He stops outside door number 36 and pulls out his key.
When I step inside I can’t help but laugh. It’s a total bachelor pad.
The trashcan overflows with beer bottles and pizza boxes.
The living room boasts a worn couch and a recliner positioned in front of the nicest item in the place, I’m sure, a flat screen TV.
“It’s not much, but it’s home.” He shrugs and closes the door behind us.
“I like it.”
He gives me a small smile and my stomach flips for the umpteenth time.
No matter how many times I tried to date, no one was Blue.
He could make me feel more with one innocent look than they could with time and words.
I sit down on the couch and I swear my butt touches the floor. I kick off my shoes and rub my aching feet.
“Oh, um, let me get you those peppermints,” he mutters, scratching awkwardly at the back of his head. He begins to rifle through multiple drawers in the kitchen. Finally, he finds them and brings me the bag, holding it out.
I take one and unwrap it, popping it in my mouth.
He puts the bag away and stands as far away from me as possible.
“You know, I’m not actually sick. I just wanted to spend time with you.”
“I figured.” He gives me a fleeting smile, but his eyes show panic.
“Why are you afraid of me?” I ask.
“Why do you think? You’re my best friend’s little sister. You know he’d kill me if I ever touched you.”
“Do you ever think about it?” I whisper. “Touching me?”
He swallows thickly, his eyes searing into me. “Yes,” he whispers, his words husky.
My heart thunders. “Then why don’t you?”
“I can’t.” He closes his hands into fists. “You know I can’t.”
I shake my head and stand. He moves to back away but bumps into the wall, and then I’m in front of him, blocking him from leaving. Though, he could if he really wanted. He’s large, and I’m small. I’m sure he could just pick me up and move me aside.
“Do you remember when we kissed?”
He stares at me and gives a single nod.
“Did you feel anything?”
“More than I should have,” he answers.
“Then why are you running from me? You always leave.”
“You know why.” His chest brushes into mine.
“Blue.” I grasp his shirt in my fist. “Stop. Fighting.”
He closes his eyes. “I can’t have you,” he grinds out.
“But you already do.”
With his eyes closed I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him.
His lips are soft beneath mine, his stubble tickling my chin, and he doesn’t respond at first.
But then it’s like a dam breaks inside him and he can’t stop himself.
He groans and his fingers delve into my hair. He kisses me hard. He kisses me with passion. He kisses me with everything.
I feel it from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.
I’ve never been kissed like this. Not even when we shared a kiss before.
This is the kiss that beats all kisses.
I moan, and I swear I’m crying on the inside from relief.
His hands move to my cheeks, cupping them. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmurs and kisses me again. “You tear me up inside.”
Same. I think the words instead of saying them.
He pulls away and rests his forehead against mine. “I’m not strong enough to fight you.”
“Then don’t.” I place my hands over his. His skin is warm, almost feverish.
He swallows, his eyes meeting mine. “You scare me more than anything else.”
“Back at you.”
He kisses me again, and I swear my soul sings.
I’ve been waiting for this for six years.
It seems too good to be true that it’s actually happening.
We hear a key in the door and we both jump apart. I quickly straighten my rumpled clothes and he does the same while I run to the couch. I’ve just laid down when the door fully opens.
“How are you feeling?” my brother asks.
“Much better,” I reply.
My mom and dad come in after him and he gives them a quick tour.
Then we have to leave.
I look at Blue as I leave, and for the first time ever there’s a promise in his eyes.
The promise for more.