Found in Understanding: Refuge Series Book Three by Debbie Zello (1)

Chapter One

I have always been a big fan of colloquialisms. As an English major, I found them and their origins fascinating. Stand and fight like a man is one that I have always found most interesting. It is attributed to the Civil War soldiers that faced each other on the field and fired away. Why in the world would you stand there and be shot? Because someone said you were a man if you did. That’s the power of words.

My mother had a complete repertoire of sayings appropriate for every situation or gathering she attended. One of my all-time favorites was “The month of April is for foolish people and foolish decisions.” As a result, I’ve always tried to save my foolishness for April.

I was three when my parents and sister walked down the dirt road, kicking up a cloud of dust behind us. We had taken a bus there, I remember that, as it was my first ride on a bus.

The road ended in a clearing with four buildings visible before us. I couldn’t read then, but there was a painted wooden sign that read, ‘Sunrise Ranch’ over the largest of the buildings, I learned later, after I could read.

People busily walked around, obviously working on some project or another, no one paying much attention to our presence. I was holding onto the strap attached to the suitcase my dad was carrying. Spotting a little boy about my size, I dropped the strap and began to walk over to him.

From around the corner a giant with a kind smile strode with purpose in my direction. My three-year-old feet planted themselves where they stood. He was huge in height and girth. He wore a wife-beater that brought to my young mind he must be The Incredible Hulk before he turns green. His muscular shoulders, arms and chest were wet with sweat.

He was a few feet from me when he dropped down to my level and said, “Who are you, pretty girl? My name is Sky.” Of course your name is Sky. That’s because you can actually touch it. See, I had everything worked out.

I said nothing as I was still crushing on the hulk thing. He stood and extended his hand to my father. They introduced themselves and my sister and me to Sky. My parents explained that we had fallen on hard times. With no jobs and an extended family that had problems of their own, we had no place to go. “How did you find out about us?” Sky asked.

“A woman outside a restaurant gave us sandwiches. She told us that you might be able to take us in,” my dad said looking more tired and old than I had ever seen him look.

“We’ll take you in. There’s room for you in the main house. Grey is the teacher for your girls. School is every morning until lunch then they’ll have jobs to do in the afternoon.

“June passes out the work assignments for the adults. Everyone here works or you can’t stay. We farm, make crafts, jellies, relishes, that sort of thing and sell them at the farmer’s market in town.

“We don’t live our pasts here; that includes names,” he said once again dropping down to look at me. “You’re Firelight from now on. I can see your fire, little one. You also have the soft light from the dawn and the sunset in you.”

My mom was given the name of Fawn because of her long brown hair and freckles. My dad was called Archer after a few days of hunting and coming back with dinner. My sister, Dove, as she was so fair in her complexion.

We were told we were all equal in each other’s sight. No one was necessarily the leader but we soon came to realize that Sky was the one everybody went to with any question or difficulty.

I had thirteen mothers, seventeen fathers and eleven brothers and sisters. Every adult was responsible for the children and every child considered each adult as a parent.

Every night, even in the heat of the summer, we had a central fire where we all gathered to talk. Arguments were settled in front of everyone. There was no hiding where something could fester and turn into an ugly confrontation. Your problems were brought forth daily, churned around and finished before you went to bed. If governments operated in the same fashion with each other, imagine what the world would be like.

Grey, named after the color of her hair, had been a teacher in her former life. She found the ranch doing an article for a magazine. She was there for two hours and decided to stay. Her retirement check, like all funds, were put into one account and went to all of our living expenses.

Grey taught me how to read, write and “figure,” which is what she called math. She told us children every day how smart we were, how far we could go and what great adults we would be some day. I swear she wrote the book on positive speech, pulling negative people into the light. When you left her school room every day, you felt like you could fly without wings.

My first afternoon job was to put the sticky labels on the jars of jams and jellies. My tiny fingers would smooth the labels leaving no bubbles behind. I took great pleasure and pride in my little task. I felt, even at my young age, I was accomplishing something, which was a great life lesson.

Even though Sky would never admit it, I was one of his favorites. He would sit on a tree stump and I would braid his long auburn hair. Then I would sit on his lap and put several braids in his beard, tying them with my pink elastics. That huge burly man, who could break me in half without sweating from the exertion, would wear those braids for days just for me.

Walking with my sister through the tall grass one morning, we extended our arms out like wings and began running, feeling the grass whip against our skin. Sky found us laughing as we ran. He grabbed us and swung us around so fast it made me dizzy. He set us down and we wobbled around, finally falling, giggling, to the ground.

He sat next to us and said softly, “The tall grass is a fun place to play. But it’s dangerous too. Some animal might think that you, Firelight, might make a nice dinner for his family. He could scoop you up and we would never know what happened to you. You, Dove, you’re bigger, but there are some animals bigger, too.

“I know you want to play here, and I want you to. But if you’re going to play here away from the buildings and us, you have to ask one of the adults to come with you. Do you understand?”

“Okay,” I said. “I don’t want to be anybody’s dinner but you!” I jumped at him knocking him back as I land on his chest. He ran his hand over my head and smoothed down my hair. I’m sure that some outsider coming on this scene would have made something perverted out of it. If you knew Sky, you would see the ridiculousness of that idea.

My jobs became more challenging as I grew. So did the schoolwork that was expected of me. I was that kid…the one that would have preferred to play all day. It wasn’t that I was lazy; I just couldn’t see the point. I could work in the garden, help clean the dorms, and cook without an education.

Then one day, Sky found me goofing off instead of doing my schoolwork. He had that ‘I’m-not-taking-any-shit-from-you-today’ look on his face and I knew I was dog-meat.

“I’m told that you don’t want to go to school anymore,” he said fixing me with his glare.

“So?” I replied, with my defiant stance clearly visible to anyone looking.

“If you don’t go to school and make something of yourself, what is going to happen to you?”

“I don’t know,” I said pulling myself up to my full ten-year-old height.

“Well, I do. You’ll stay here, doing nothing but chores. You’ll have all of us until we die, then you’ll have no one. No husband or kids. No life of your own. No future, no past. Does that sound like something you want?”

I have to hand it to him. To this day, I have never heard him raise his voice. Even when he was telling my sister and me that we could be eaten in the grass, it wasn’t scary because of the soft tone he used. This man could crush a tank with his bare hands, yet he was as gentle as a lamb.

I went back to school, as he knew I would. The very last thing I wanted was to be a disappointment to Sky. I’d rather cut off my arm and beat myself silly with it than to have him think badly of me.

People came and went in our little commune. They would wander in much the same as I did. They’d stay, or at our nightly fire, they’d be asked to leave. If you didn’t fit in, didn’t want to work, or stole anything, you were gone. There weren’t many rules and the few we had were voted on.

Drinking, smoking, and taking drugs were not permitted. If it was determined that you were using, you were confronted at the fire and asked to leave. That was funny because we knew what the townspeople said about us “drug-using sex-crazed hippies.” Most of the time, you would be hard pressed to find an aspirin to take. As far as sex went, I believe, even though I can’t prove it, even my parents stopped after we moved here. It was like living with the Shakers.

I finally made it to the ripe old age of thirteen. Once again, I had to have my growing up talk with Sky. “Grey tells me it’s time for you to go to a regular school. She said she has taught you everything she can. You need to take specific courses so you can go to college.”

“I don’t want to go to college,” I said with that fire he saw at my naming.

“You can’t always get what you want, Firelight. Sometimes you have to do what you’re told. The state says you have to go to a regular school from now on. Just like your sister and the other older kids do. You’re not a baby anymore,” he said stooping down to my level.

“I don’t want to,” I repeated.

“You’ll be back every day after school. You’ll only have chores on the weekend and vacations.”

I played my best card and threw my arms around him crying on his shoulder, “I don’t want to leave you.”

I felt his grin on my cheek, it was working! “I’ll tell you what. Let’s make a deal. You go to school and study hard. You do your homework without complaints and get good grades. I’ll let you come and work the farmers’ market with me every Saturday.”

“I can ride in the truck with you?”

“You can ride in the truck with me,” he said smiling.

“Deal! Shake on it,” I said extending my hand. He took my small hand in his dry, well-used paw and shook it. I was so happy I thought I had made the deal of my life. Sky walked away grinning because he knew he was going to work the living-shit out of me.