I reluctantly entered my car. This would be the first time I would be leaving Sky alone with a stranger. I had used another babysitter in the past in Pensacola, but she was the daughter of a fellow Naval Officer. I pushed down the nausea in my stomach. It was only for a few hours. I had checked all of Paloma’s references. Double-checked. Hell, I’d run a background report on her. Clean as my jet. Sky would be fine. But I couldn’t help feeling nervous leaving my baby with someone I didn’t know. I’d made the stupid mistake of Googling “nanny horror stories.” I’d read one about this bitch who had offed the kids in her care. If someone hurt Sky, I’d kill them with my bare hands.

But clearly, I was paranoid. Paloma seemed great. Amazing, even. And man, could she cook. The eggs she’d made this morning blew me away. Better than most of the bougie brunch places that Catherine used to drag me to. I could definitely get used to Paloma’s cooking. Beat the chow hall, hands down.

And she was ridiculously sexy. I wondered what she slept in last night. I imagined her wearing nothing but a tight tank top and sheer panties. But I had to get my lust for her under control. I would not cross that line with her, no matter how much I wanted to fuck her.

I wasn’t ready to date anyone seriously, but I didn’t know how much longer I could go without having sex. Being so close to Paloma, inhaling her scent, staring at her incredible ass, was almost too much temptation for me. I never thought I’d be with another woman besides my wife. She was it for me. But for the first time since she died, I craved another woman. But that woman couldn’t be Paloma.

I drove to my command and checked in. Time to fly.

Charlie, the lead pilot, debriefed me. Charlie and his wife has welcomed Catherine and me to the squad when I had been a newbie. Though he was an excellent pilot, for some reason I didn’t fully trust him, which was a huge problem when flying. I didn’t know why, but there was something off about him. Like he was just faking his good guy persona.

Sawyer greeted me at the door. “Hey man, how’s the hot nanny? Did you fuck her yet?”

I shook my head. Sawyer would never know the true meaning of love. At least I knew what it felt like to completely love a woman, even if it had ended in excruciating sadness. But the guy had had a rough upbringing—no role models like I had had in the relationship department.

“Nope. Not going happen. She works for me.” I looked down at his soggy cereal. “She did make me an amazing breakfast. Huevos rancheros. From scratch.”

Sawyer shook his head. “Man, she cooks too? Damn, I wish I had a baby, so I could hire her. I’d be doing her over the kitchen counter while she wore nothing but an apron.”

Our other friend, Declan, walked over to Sawyer. “You are such a misogynist. You would fuck your own nanny? That’s called sexual harassment. Stop being such a pig.”

Sawyer laughed. “Whatever. Both of you have zero game. I’m going to give Beck here a pass since his wife died last year, but you won’t shut the fuck up about your high school sweetheart, Declan. Both of you need to move on. I get it—you loved them. But they are no longer in the picture. Are you guys going to be celibate for the rest of your lives? We are motherfucking Blue Angels! There are only six of us in the entire world. We are more elite than the Navy SEALs. Stop letting them get all the pussy. It’s our time to shine. The other three guys on our squad are married. You are my wingmen. And that’s legit, not even a catchphrase.”

I grabbed my helmet. “I’m here to fly, not to fuck. And you won’t be an Angel forever. In a year, we’ll all be attached to deployable units. You’re a Marine, Sawyer. You’ll probably be dropping bombs over North Korea. Don’t you want someone to miss you while you are gone?”

His jaw clenched. “Someone to cheat on me while I’m gone? No thanks.”

“Not all women cheat. One day you will get it. You will look at a woman and the entire world will melt away and it will only be you and her. You won’t think of anyone else. A super model could beg you to fuck her and you wouldn’t even consider it. You will love her more than flying. Until then, you’re welcome to hook up with all the groupies. Gentlemen, I’m ready to fly.”

Declan grabbed his helmet, too. “Let’s go.”

I greeted the other three pilots, and we walked to the runaway. Next week we would start practicing our formations and our aerial maneuvers, but today we were just supposed to reacquaint ourselves with our F/A 18 Hornets after the winter holiday.

One look at my plane and chills filled my body. I stroked the nose of my other baby. This hunk of steel was my home and it was the most beautiful plane I’d ever seen. My hand ran over the yellow paint that displayed my name for the entire world to see. Lt. Beckett Daly. Catherine and I had taken a bunch of pictures standing in front of it the day I saw my own plane for the first time. She’d been heavily pregnant but had looked so beautiful and proud. For years when I had deployed, I had been worried about being shot down by the enemy and leaving her a widow. I had never once considered that she would be the one leaving me.

Once I climbed inside the cockpit, the rest of my troubles faded. The only thing that mattered when I was flying my plane was making sure I landed on the ground safely, especially as an Angel performing for crowds of thousands. The risk of death was real in the diamond formation, where we flew as close as eighteen inches to each other.

I loved it. I couldn’t imagine doing any other job.

I secured my harness and my lap belt and began to taxi on the runway. I made a call to the tower and once I was cleared for take-off, I accelerated and headed towards the heavens.

Time to pay a visit to my wife.